Chapter 7:
Sex and nervousness
The morning after…Chandler was giving a press conference to answer questions about the attack that that the C-STAD suffered the night before.
Reporter- Is there anything at all about the C-STAD weapons system that could have been mistaken by Libyan Intelligence as offensive rather than defensive?
Chandler- no… they weren't mistaken… they knew that out C-STAD weapons were there only for defensive purposes and that we had no intentions to attack them… but they attacked us anyway…
Reporter- Which was your response to the attack, sir?
Chandler- we attacked a Libyan Intelligence Headquarters… unfortunately that's the only thing we could do…
Another female reporter raised her hand to ask a question…. And Chandler nodded indicating that she was free to ask the question.
Reporter2- Sir, is it true that you were with Monica Geller when you learned of the attack?
Since he had seen it coming, he answered casually…
Chandler- yes… we had just finished dinner…
Ross was there, getting nervous, and he whispered something on Joey's ear…Ross- do something Joey…
Joey nodded…. And then he took the microphone…Joey- just one more question…
Reporter2- Mr. president… Would you care to comment on the status of your relationship?
Chandler- we don't have a relationship… we just had diner.
Reporter- can you tell us if she spent the night at the White House or did…?
Chandler was getting very annoyed… he was loosing his temper… so he interrupted the reporter:
Chandler- folks! A lot of people got killed last night. Let's try to focus on what's important… okay?
After that, Chandler left the room followed by Phoebe, Ross and Joey.
Joey- That was my fault, sir. We should have prepped you for that.
Chandler- There's nothing that needs prepping.
Phoebe- "Newsweek" is begging for ten minutes today. Any ten minutes you got.
Chandler- NOBODY gets ten minutes today…
That same night… at Monica and Rachel's apartment….
After a long day of working, Monica and Rachel decided to watch TV… they saw the press conference that the president gave that morning. After seeing the questions they asked Chandler about her Monica was freaking out…
Monica- oh my God! They won't leave him alone… this is just the beginning…
Rachel- why did he say you two are not in a relationship?
Monica- because we are not in a relationship… we just had dinner…
Rachel- twice…
Monica- yes, we had dinner twice… we had two GREAT dates… amazing dates… we had the best dates ever… but that doesn't mean we are in a relationship.
Rachel- but you are crazy about him… aren't you?
Monica had to admit it… she was already head over heels.
Monica- it doesn't matter… this is all too overwhelming… I can't keep seeing him…
Rachel- come on! You are mad about him…
Monica let go a scream…. She got her self in a hell of a mess….
Monica- WHY? Why did I kiss him? Now I can't stop thinking about him!
Rachel was shocked…Rachel- you kissed the president! I don't believe you didn't tell me that…. Where did you kiss him?
Monica- on the mouth…
Rachel- that's obvious! Where on the White House?
Monica- in the China Room
Rachel- and what happen after that?
Monica- he had to go and attack Libya
Rachel- well… there is always something…
Monica spoke in a warning tone to Rachel and pointed her with her finger…
Monica- You can't tell this to anyone Rach!
Rachel- ok… I'll keep the secret…
Monica- I'm serious… I know you love gossiping but the last thing Chandler needs right now is the press and Richard knowing what I told you…
Rachel raised her eyebrow maliciously…
Rachel- you are calling him "Chandler" now?
Monica had said "Chandler" without realizing it…. but now she was afraid that things where getting to far.
Monica- oh my God! I'm getting too exited about this... I'm too into him… this is getting to far… I must end this right now… This has catastrophe written all over it.
Rachel- in what language! Monica, this man is the leader of the free world. He's brilliant, he's funny, he's super hot... he has gorgeous blue eyes…. He is the perfect catch… why would you end things with him? Isn't it possible that your standards are just too high?
In that moment the phone rang and Monica froze.
Rachel- Answer the phone.
Monica shook her head looking at the phone scared. The phone continued ringing…
Monica- I know it's him…
Rachel- just answer the phone.
Monica- He will ask me to come over there…
The phone continued ringing annoying the hell out of Rachel.
Rachel- Answer the dam phone!
Monica- All right! But I'm gonna end it on the phone. I won't go over there.
In the residential area of the White House… very late at night.Chandler was making some drinks… then he saw Monica entering to the room escorted by a security agent.
Monica- I just came over here to tell you why I can't see you anymore.
Chandler addressed to the agent….
Chandler- thanks… you can leave us alone now…The agent leaves and Monica takes that as an opportunity to speak…
Monica- look... It won't take long… I know you've had a tough day.
Chandler- It's wasn't so bad… let me take your coat and I'll hang it for you…
But she doesn't take her coat off.
Monica- Mr. president… this isn't going to work…
Chandler- sure it will… if you button the top button, it won't fall off the hanger.
Monica- I wasn't talking about the coat…
Chandler knew that… he was just trying to buy some time… he knew Monica was trying to end things with him because their relationship was too weird for her and he found the whole situation very unfair… He didn't want to end things with her.
Chandler- I didn't think so… listen… Mon…
Monica- I've really enjoyed the time we've spent together, but this has catastrophe written all over it.
She had been repeating that phrase in her head during all the way to the White House. "This has catastrophe written all over it"… she had to keep that in mind… that was her reason to break up with Chandler… and it was a good one, wasn't it?
Chandler- come on! Catastrophe? Don't you think you are over reacting?
Monica- look… If I were on your staff, I would tell you that the worst thing you can do coming into an election year is to open yourself up to character attacks by prancing around like the playboy of the Western world.
Chandler- Let's clear up a couple of things: I hardly ever "prance", I have no intention of engaging in a character debate, and you're not on my staff.
Monica- I know that I don't work for you Mr. president…
Chandler- my name is Chandler…. What's is REALLY happening here? Why do you REALLY want to end things with me?
Monica was loosing her temper… to her it was very obvious why…
Monica- you know what's happening here! God! You are making this too hard….
Actually, it was Monica the one making things too hard. Chandler simply said with a mocking voice:
Chandler- are you raising the voice to the president?
Monica- you have to understand… I'm only thinking about the health of your Presidency. You think this morning's press conference was the end of it? the press won't leave you alone and Richard must be freaking out! That man is insanely jealous… He must be smoking cigars in his apartment right now with his friends and making some evil plan to get back at you…
Chandler- by the way… I never said this… but your ex husband is a very nice man…
The sarcasm in his voice was unmistakable… Monica had to admire Chandler's sense of humor. She simply stared at him speechless while he had a drink… Suddenly, as if the idea had just pop to his head he said…
Chandler- are you attracted to me?
That surprised Monica… the question was simple but she couldn't answer it…
Monica- I beg your pardon?
Chandler- I asked if you are attracted to me…
Now Chandler was very close to her and looking directly into her eyes… Monica blushed and looked away…
Monica- that's not the point…
Chandler- Well, I tell you what. Let's make it the point! Let's talk about that…. Just to do something original… Because I know that talking about Richard Burke's evil plans is what all couples do when they're first getting together…
And there was his sarcasm again… that should have annoyed her… but she founded his sarcastic comments very funny and appealing.
Monica- I admit being attracted to you… however…Chandler interrupted her… saying something that Monica never expected to hear…
Chandler- you know what your problem is? Sex and nervousness…
Monica- really? Is that my problem?
Chandler- Yes. Last night when we were at the China Room, I realized that the First Ladies provided all the china in there. And I'll bet none of those First Ladies were nervous about having sex with their President husbands. And you know why?
Monica- No, but I'm sure you'll explain it to me.
Chandler- I will. Because they weren't presidents when they met them. But that's not the case here.
Actually Monica wasn't even a bit nervous about the sex… However, she humored Chandler and pretended that what he was saying made perfect sense.
Monica- Ahhhhhh. That's it!
Chandler- so…
Chandler was about to continue talking but Monica interrupted…
Monica- May I use your bathroom for a moment? I want to freshen up.
Chandler- sure! In the way to the bathroom you'll see a large closet on your left. And if you feel comfortable, hang up your coat, and when you come back I'll have fixed up a drink, we'll sit on the couch, and I will explain to you my plan.
Monica- oh… You have a plan? Please! Don't make me wait. Explain it to me while I'm freshen up
Saying that Monica disappearing into the bathroom/ dressing room area. Chandler kept talking as he went to the bar and made a couple of drinks. Of course… he had to speak up so Monica could hear him from the bathroom.
Chandler- Okay. So… You're attracted to me, but the idea of physical intimacy is uncomfortable because you only know me as the President. It's not always gonna be that way, and the reason I
know that is because there was a moment last night when you were with me and not the President, and I know what a big step that was for you. So, Mon, I'm in no rush. Here's my plan: We're gonna slow down. When you're comfortable, that's when it'll happen.
Monica came back into the room... wearing ONLY one of Chandler's shirts. She walks toward him. Chandler looks at her in shock… he is speechless but he manages to say…
Chandler- Maybe I didn't properly explain the fundamentals of the "Slow Down" plan.
Monica- oh no… You explained it great.
She moved closer and closer to him. Now was Chandler the one freaking out.
Chandler- so... you are not nervous…
Monica- I'm not nervous at all…
Chandler- Good. But I'm nervous… for three reasons: first… I haven't done this in a pretty long time. Second… Any expectations you might have, due to the fact that I'm, you know...
Monica approached him even more and in a very provocative manner she completed what Chandler was about to say.
Monica- The most powerful man in the world?
Chandler- Exactly, thank you. You must remember: that is just a political distinction that comes with the office. I mean… if Eisenhower were here instead of me he would be dead by now. And third...
Monica very gently put her hand in Chandler mouth… and whispered something in his year…
Monica- Chandler…
Felling happy for hearing her saying his first name for the first time Chandler forgot all his fears and kissed her passionately…. Then he picked her up and carried her to his bedroom…
To be continued…Yay! The moment you were all waiting for! I couldn't resist making it like in the movie because… well… it was very great in the movie! I hope you all liked this chapter and I promise that more original stuff will happen later…
Thanks for all the reviews…. That meant a lot to me….Apparently you do like this story…. Sorry for thinking otherwise… PLEASE, continue expressing what you think about this story…
To Leondra: thanks for reviewing… and yes…. Richard being a jerk is unexpected because he was very nice on the show… Believe it or no, I actually liked the Richard character and I always write MONDLER stories in which Richard is the nice poor guy who doesn't get the girl…. But I need him to be a pathetic jerk in this one… But don't worry… he won't kill anyone because there are two thinks I really hate in fanfics: Monica being a selfish bitch and Richard being a psycho….