Chapter 9:
Love is on the air
One day later…. At the Oval office…Chandler is about to leave his office after a long day of working hard when Ross entered looking extremely concerned.
Ross- Mr. President. I just got off the phone with the Federal Mediator in St. Louis. Management just walked away from the table. The baggage handlers, pilots and flight attendants are getting set to walk in 48 hours.
Chandler took a few seconds to process the information and then he answered …Chandler- I studied under a Nobel-Prize-Winning economist and the most important thing he taught me was: "Don't have a airline strike on holydays". So… I'm going to St. Louis.
It was two days before thanksgiving. Chandler hated that holyday but he knew that most people actually liked it and traveled by plane to other cities to celebrate with their relatives and he knew that people would hate not having planes available for thanksgiving. Chandler and Ross were getting into the limo when he noticed Phoebe and Joey hurrying out to catch Chandler.
Joey- we need to talk to you Mr. President...Chandler- Hop in. We'll talk in the car.
They do what Chandler told them and the car got on its way. Phoebe and Joey continued talking in Chandler's limo.
Joey- We have a small problem.
Phoebe- It could've been a small problem… now is a medium-sized problem because certain people didn't deal with it on time…
It was obvious that by "certain people" Phoebe meant Joey. He answered Phoebe's accusation…Joey- YOU see it as a problem, Pheebs…. I see it as an opportunity.
Phoebe- It could've been an opportunity if we had caught it on time.
Joey- But we caught it!
Phoebe- yes… At 5:45 PM. That is not very good… by that time the news had already gotten all over the country….
Chandler got tired that seeing those two arguing instead of explaining what the problem was.
Chandler- Guys, do you need me here for this meeting?
Joey- I'm sorry, sir. It's about the evening news. The third story on the News tonight is that Monica was at a protest rally where they burned a flag.
Phoebe- apparently Monica burned an American Flag in an Anti-apartheid protest, sir…
Chandler was very confused… that didn't sound like the Monica he knew.
Chandler- Today?
Joey- About 13 years ago
Chandler- Let me see if I got this: The third story on the news tonight was that someone I didn't know 13 years ago, when I wasn't President, participated in a demonstration where no laws were broken in protest of something that so many people were against that it doesn't exist anymore? Just out of curiosity, what was the fourth story?
Joey- I think it's important, when we deal with it, that we…
Chandler interrupted him talking in a serious tone…
Chandler- Don't deal with it.
Joey- Excuse me?
Chandler- Don't you see what they are doing? They are trying to drag me into a character debate… Burke knows I don't want one… so he is trying to force me… I wont give him the satisfaction. Aw...hell! This reminded me that I was supposed to have dinner with Monica tonight.
At Monica and Rachel's apartment….
Monica is in Rachel's room looking inside Rachel's closet to see if she could found a nice dress to wear for her dinner with Chandler. She found a nice short and classic black dress and, after trying it on, she looked at her self in a full-length mirror… she loved how the dress looked on her so she decided to borrow it from Rachel. Then Rachel entered in the room.
Rachel- what are you doing with my dress?
Monica- sorry… I need to borrow it because I have a dinner in the White House…
Rachel- all right… but I need it back tomorrow because I'm having lunch at the Buckingham Palace.
Monica ignored completely the joke and continued talking about her look….
Monica- can I also borrow those gorgeous earrings I bought you for your birthday…
Rachel- no… but you can borrow the really cute earrings I got when I exchanged the earrings you gave me for my birthday.
Monica gave her a confused and disappointed look. Then the phone rang and Monica answered it.
Monica- Hello...
Chandler's voice on the phone - hello, honey…. How are you?
Monica- fine… I'm just trying on dresses for tonight
Chandler's voice on the phone - oh… look… I feel terrible, but I have to cancel our date tonight.
Monica thought that Chandler might be mad about the protest… but she immediately dismissed that idea and said in a mocking tone…
Monica- Another woman?
Chandler's voice on the phone – No… I have go to St. Louis and stop a massive airline strike.
Monica- yeah, right… if I had a nickel for every time I heard that excuse.
It was obvious that she was being sarcastic and that she wasn't mad at all.
Chandler's voice on the phone - Thanks for understanding. I'll call you when I get to St. Louis.
Monica- bye… good luck… and I'm sorry about…
Chandler's voice on the phone - don't even say it… goodbye…
He hung up the phone (he had made the call from the limo) and he felt very guilty.
Chandler- I feel terrible… She was trying on dresses.
Joey- that's why I tell any girl I'm going out with to assume that the plans are soft until she receives confirmation 30 minutes beforehand.
Phoebe- I bet they find that very romantic.
Joey- Well, I do say it with charm.
Chandler suddenly saw something out the window and got excited.
Chandler- Look! Look! There it is! Carmen's House of Flowers! That's the place I called when I wanted to get her flowers after my first date with her! We have to stop.
Ross- What?
Chandler- I want to get her flowers.
Ross- right here! Right now?
Chandler- I broke our date… the less I can do I buy her flowers… (to the driver) stop the car please! I'm gonna hop out at that flower shop.
Driver- You're gonna hop out, sir?
Ross- No! he's not hopping. Sir, no hopping! Seriously! Stay in the car. I'll get the flowers
Chandler- but then it's not personal.
Ross- ok… go… but let the agents do a security sweep. We don't know who's in there.
Chandler- Do you think there is a terrorist in "Carmen's House of Flowers" ready to kill me just in case I might stop by?
Ross- It's possible.
Chandler hoped out of the car with a Security Agent after him. He entered in "Carmen's house of flower" and saw a high school girl is behind the counter who is talking to a friend on the phone. Her back was to the door when Chandler walked in with a couple of Secret service Agents scrambling to keep up. The girl doesn't notice anything so she keeps talking on the phone…
Girl- He finally asked me out… he is so cute…
Chandler- Excuse me….
The girl is not paying attention so she keeps talking on the phone…
Girl- dinner and a movie… he is so into me! Tammy was there when he….
Chandler interrupts her getting her attention…
Chandler- Excuse me…
The girl, very up set for the interruption, turned a round to face Chandler saying…
Girl- I will be right with you.
The girl, finally noticing who Chandler is, dropped the receiver and stared him in disbelief.
Chandler- Hey, I don't know if you're the one I talked to on the phone a couple of days ago... I asked for two dozens of red roses…. But I didn't have my credit car… remember? I said "it's the president"… does any of this rings a bell?
Apparently it does, because the girl fainted and fell to the floor That night…. In St. LouisChandler was in the Presidential suite of the Hilton hotel in St, Louis. Ross, Phoebe and Joey are in there too watching the news until is time for them to go to their rooms. On TV they saw Richard giving a speech in New Hampshire using a sarcastic tone…
Richard- I'm glad that that president got him self a girl…. Never mind that he was married to me…. Never mind that the President takes the Fifth anytime a reporter dares to ask a question about the relationship… Never mind that this woman idea of a hobby to relax her self after a tough day is setting American flags on fire...
The crowd who is listening to Richard is getting really into the speech and start cheering him up… and Richard, encouraged, continued his speech very seriously now…
Richard- and what about little Liz Bing? Is anyone concerned about this little girl's feelings? I wonder… can we now have a serious debate about family values?
The crowd cheers him more….
Richard- let me ask you something…. Does New Hampshire want traditional American values back in the White House?
The crow screams: "YES!" as Richard continues….
Richard- Does New Hampshire wants morality and patriotism back at the White House?
The crowd keeps screaming: "yes" as Richard says his signature phrase…
Richard- my name is Richard Burke and I'm running for president!
After seeing that Joey turned off the TV, very mad and he shook his head.
Joey- and still no reaction from the White House….
Meanwhile, Chandler was on the other side of the suit talking on the phone with Monica….Chandler- don't worry honey! It was 13 years ago… Monica- yes… but Ross wants to kill me for that…. Hey! What do the others think?
Chandler- you mean Scully and Mulder? They want me to get into the character debate.
Monica- Phoebe and Joey are very smart.
Chandler raised his voice and talked to Phoebe and Joey.
Chandler- Monica is saying that Phoebe and Joey are really stupid.
Monica shouted and protested through the phone.
Monica- Chandler! I didn't say that!
Chandler spoke to Joey and Phoebe racing his voice again.
Chandler- and she is questioning Joey's loyalty!
Joey- is ok… I question it all the time.
Chandler goes backs to his phone conversation with Monica as she asked...
Monica- Were you watching Channel 8?
Chandler- yes…
Monica- I was watching it too… so…. you were watching the speech…
Chandler- yes… but I preferred to call you instead of watching Richard Burke on TV…
Monica- as flatter as that makes me feel… I have to ask you… are you still not going to respond?
Chandler- no! Richard is just being an idiot.
Monica- he is an idiot…. But his numbers are climbing.
Chandler- Mon! His number had nowhere to go but up.
Monica- What about yours? I read that your numbers are a bit down… now only 50 of the American people say that they will vote for you…
Chandler- I'm fine. I'll be back to have 63 of approval once I get the votes for the crime bill.
Monica- all right then…
Chandler- tell me Mon… what are you doing for Thanksgiving?
Monica- my parents invited me to have dinner with them but I don't feel like seeing them…. Why?
Chandler- Because the negotiations are going pretty well here. It looks like the nation is going to keep on flying and Liz is spending Thanksgiving with Kathy's parents….
Monica- What do you have in mind?
Chandler- Have you ever been to Camp David?
Monica- Camp David? Sure! I go there every time I date a president…
Chandler- is that a joke? Yes! You are kidding!
Monica- you see how you are not the only one funny?
Chandler- anyway… do you want to spend Thanksgiving Day at Camp David?
Monica- that would be lovely… but I'll cook…
Chandler- deal! I'll have a car pick you up Thursday morning.
At Camp David… Thanksgiving Day.
While they waited for the turkey to be ready, Chandler was running through satellite TV channels, searching for something. They were on the same couch… Chandler was sited while Monica laid with her legs rested comfortable in Chandler's lap. She was reading a book with Chandler's picture on the front page and suddenly she read something surprising.
Monica- Oh sweet lord! This is impossible!
Chandler- what's impossible?
Monica- the grades you got in college! They are super-human… nobody gets this many "A's in Yale.
Chandler- I can't believe you are still reading that ridiculous biography…
Monica- yes, I finished "Chandler Bing: the Road to the White House" so now I'm reading" Bing, The Early Years".
Chandler smiled and shook his head in disbelieve, then he continued switching channels but he was getting frustrated since he couldn't find what he wanted to see on TV…
Chandler- since I have seven-trillion-dollar communications system at my disposal, I thought I would be able to find out if the Knicks won.
Chandler eventually landed on a news station.
Reporter- (on T.V.).. President Bing is now at Camp David….
Chandler switched the channel.
Chandler- Who cares? I want to see some scores.
He landed on another News station.
Reporter- (on T.V.) While the President spent the day at Camp David, Richard Burke continued his
attacks on President Bing's character. During an interview Richard Burke suggested that Monica Geller… whose personal relationship with the President has been causing the White House headaches over the past month, may have traded sexual favors for money in order to pay for her college education.
Monica stood up speechless knowing that she was about to take a horrible punch on national TV and was powerless to stop it...
The news program showed the segment showing Richard and his interviewer.
Interviewer- Wait a minute, Senator… you are talking about your ex wife…
Richard- I know…. I'm not saying is true… I'm just repeating a rumor I heard some days ago….
Interviewer- but that's a very strong accusation to make, and…
Richard- I'm not making an accusation. All I am saying is that when we hear one thing, we dismiss it. We hear two, we dismiss it.But when several of her former classmates keep telling the same story about…this woman…. I don't even know how to call her anymore.… what is she now? The First Mistress? The First Twinkie?
Monica gets really up set… she can't believe how Richard has the nerve to say that…and Chandler turned off the T.V. felling very upset too…
Monica- oh my God! My father surely heard everything!
Chandler- You father will have to turn a deaf ear.
MonicaMy father doesn't have a deaf ear, Chandler! He hears fine out of both and so do I!
Monica was about to cry…. She couldn't believe that Richard insulted her so badly.
Chandler- I'm sorry…
Monica- I can't believe he did that! Oh God…. You know what he said is not true… right? You know I would never do what he said I did…
Chandler- I know that… don't worry about it…
Chandler pulled her into a hug and kissed her forehead….
Chandler- Mon… I'm sorry if this is being too difficult for you… but I can't challenge the school bully to a fight just because he picked on my girlfriend.
Monica- I'm not asking you to. I can take care of myself. This isn't about me. How can you keep so quiet? You are not even defending your self.
Chandler- I have only one more election left, Mon, I can't afford losing my patience now.
Monica considered the situation as Chandler held her… then she looked into his eyes to say something that was very hard for her to say….
Monica- listen… I want to say something… but I just want you to wait till I'm done before you respond: Chandler… I think I'm falling in love with you and I want to be with you more than anything. But maybe things would be better for you if I disappeared for a while.
Chandler was touched… but he was also worried because he didn't want to loose her.
Chandler- Mon… please… Don't even think about disappearing because things will be better for me when I pass a crime bill. Besides… let's face it: if you disappeared, I would find you because I'm not letting you go so easily. I want you with me, baby.
He kissed her passionately and she responded so they make out on the couch until it's time for Monica to take the turkey out of the oven.
To be continued….
Author's note: Before you say anything… I know very well that Chandler doesn't eat thanksgiving food… and he hates thanksgiving in this story too… but Monica doesn't know it yet and that's why she cooked a turkey… the subject of Chandler hating thanksgiving food will come up in the next chapter.