Chapter 10:
The EX Files
That same night…. Still in Camp David.
Chandler and Monica were having Thanksgiving dinner and she had cooked the food. But suddenly she noticed that Chandler hasn't really eaten much of the food and there was a lot left on his plate. Monica looked at that very disappointed.
Monica- you don't like it….
Chandler- yes… I loved it… you know I love your food…
Monica picked up Chandler's plate frustrated and shook her head…Monica- you didn't like it…
Chandler- of course I did… but the agent who checked the food thought it was delicious and I promised to save something for him…
Monica shook his head not believing a word.
Monica- you didn't like it…
Chandler- I loved it…
Monica- you are so lying…
Chandler- no… I'm not.
Monica- you totally are… I can tell when you are hiding something… you do a thing with your face.
Chandler- when have you ever seen me do a thing with my face?
Monica- before I met you…. your mother was in Washington so she visited you and a reporter asked you about your relationship with her… Do you remember what you said?
Chandler- vaguely…
Monica- you said: "We have the typical Mother- son relationship… we are very close and even though she lives far away we call each other and write each other everyday"… but you were lying… you barely talk to your mother and you are not close to her at all…
Chandler looked at her amazed… He wished he could admire her for knowing him so well… but he is too afraid that she might figure up his big family secret.
Chandler- how did you know that?
Monica- I told you… the face.
Monica casually smiles at him with charm and she pours good red wine in two glasses. Chandler feels the rush of love and admiration he was afraid of…Chandler- ok… I give up… your power of observation deserves a prize… I will tell you the truth about the food you cooked tonight…
Monica- all right…
Chandler drunk some wine and the he said…Chandler- usually I like your food… but today, and today only, I hated it…
Monica- and why was that?
Chandler- because you cooked food that is traditional for Thanksgiving…
Monica- well… today is Thanksgiving Day…
Chandler- I know… the thing is… I hate this day…
Monica- what? You hate Thanksgiving?
Chandler- yes… and I don't eat thanksgiving food… I hate it… is not your fault… I just hate everything that is related with this holyday…
Monica- why?
She couldn't understand why anyone would hate a national holyday… but the President of the United States hating Thanksgiving Day? That was simply too weird…
Chandler- because my parents announced their divorce during Thanksgiving dinner, while I still had pie in my mouth.
That was only half the story (For obvious reasons, Chandler didn't mention his father coming out of the closet and the houseboy saying: "More turkey Mr. Chandler?") however it made sense to Monica.
Monica- no wonder you hate Thanksgiving food… why didn't you tell me something when I said I would cook?
Chandler- I'm sorry…. I guess I didn't want you to think I'm too weird…
Monica- oh…I'm afraid is too late for that, President Bing…
She sited in his laps and gave him a sweet kiss on the lips. Suddenly, Chandler pulled her away a little and looked at her with a curios expression.
Chandler- why did you and Richard got divorce?
Monica stood up quickly and very uncomfortable.
Monica- God… you know how to ruin a moment…
Chandler- I'm sorry… it's just… you are amazing Mon… and I must admit that he is very smart, so… I can't understand how could he ever let you go…
Monica- Chandler… Do you really want to hear about Richard and me?
Chandler nodded reluctantly.
Chandler- I think is time…
Monica- all right… I'll tell you….
Flashback…. One year ago…Monica Geller had been married to Richard Burke for two happy months. Now she was going to his office to pick him up for lunch because it was their two months wedding anniversary. Richard's secretary greeted her…
Secretary- hello Mrs. Burke
Monica- hi Sarah… is my husband at his office?
Secretary- yes… he is with his son…
Monica- all right…
Monica entered in her husband's office. Richard and Tim were talking.
Monica- hi…
Tim- hi Monica
Richard- hello honey
He kissed her quickly in the mouth.
Monica- sorry Tim… but I'm here to kidnap your father…
Tim- is ok… I'm not going to stop you… I had him for 28 years and I'm getting sick of him frankly you can have him…
Monica- Thanks Tim…
Richard- Thanks Tim…
Monica and Richard linked their arms and walked outside the office….
Secretary- senator Burke…. You have a meeting in 10 minutes…
Richard- I can't go Sarah… apparently I'm being kidnapped…
Richard and Monica left the building… after that, the couple went to a very fancy restaurant were they had lunch. In the middle of the lunch Richard raised his glass.
Richard- I would love to propose a toast to Mrs. Monica Burke…. Who after the presidential elections in two years will become the First Lady of our country.
Monica- and I would love to propose a toast to us… and to two months of a wonderful marriage…
They click glasses and take a sip.
Richard- so far it's been a GREAT marriage… and I know what I'm talking about…
Monica- ah… you think you now everything… Don't you?
Richard- I do…
Monica- did you know that this marriage is about to get even better?
Richard- I think that's not possible… but how?
Monica- Richard… I'm late.
Very confused, Richard looked at his watch.
Richard- well… if you need to go back at work we can ask for the check right now.
Monica- that's not what I'm meant… I'm LAAAATE
Richard was more confused.
Richard- late for WHAAAAT?
Richard said that in a mocking tone… and Monica started getting frustrated.
Monica- my period is late Richard! I think we are having a baby!
Richard's face went white…Richard- what? No way! That's impossible! We were careful…. You are having a baby?
Monica- maybe
Richard- Oh my God! This can't be happening! I don't want a baby Mon… I'm to fucking old to have a baby!
Monica- but Richard I thought you…
Richard- how late are you?
Monica- one week…
Richard- good, that's not much… you might not be pregnant after all… let's not panic…
Monica- who is panicking? Richard I'm happy…
Richard- you are happy?
Monica- well… no right now! But in general, yes… I'm a happy person and when I realized that my period was one week late I felt like the happiest woman alive…
Richard- but Monica…. I don't want to have anymore children… I mean… if there is a baby inside you right now we will have to keep it… what's done is done… but that's how I feel about babies… I don't want any…
Monica got up with tears in her eyes and he left the restaurant. After wandering around the streets she ended up in a park. She stayed there and watched the kids play for thee hours then she made a decision: she would leave Richard… whether she was pregnant with his child or not.
Back to the present… Chandler heard the story amazed…Chandler- so… what happened after that?
Monica- that night I confronted Richard and told him that I wanted the divorce… we had a terrible fight and I left to my friend Rachel's house… the next day I got my period…
Chandler- wow… you left him because he didn't want kids….
Chandler seemed to be amazed by the fact that a woman was capable to leave her husband for the reason Monica said she left Richard. To him it didn't make sense that somebody walked away from a marriage just like that instead of fighting for it… that somebody (specially Monica) would just give up and simply accept that the other person wants different things. Apparently, Monica read his mind because she finally explained…
Monica- I didn't love him, Chandler…
Chandler- What?
Monica- I never really loved Richard… true love would have compensated the fact that he didn't want to give me a baby… and he promised me to give me a baby if I didn't leave him… he begged me to stay with him… he promised me everything… but that wasn't enough because I didn't really loved him…
Chandler realized that it had been hard to Monica to talk about all this… specially since now Richard had become the enemy for her too…
Chandler- look Mon… since I made you open The Ex Files… I think is fair that I do the same…
Monica- you don't have to…
Chandler nodded and corrected Monica quickly…
Chandler- I have to… I don't know why… but I feel the need of being completely honest with you… and I have a confession to make about Liz's mother… she cheated on me…
Monica- what!
Chandler- I was stupidly in love with her…. But once I thought she was cheating on me and we had a fight so she ended up cheating on my for real…
Monica- and what did you do?
Chandler- I broke up with her… then one night she came to my apartment saying that she was pregnant… I asked for a DNA and the kid was actually mine… so I did the right thing and proposed to her… we got engaged, Liz was born and Kathy got kill…
Monica- I read she had a car accident and got kill by a drunk driver…
Chandler- she was the drunk driver…
Monica- what!
Chandler- our relationship became a nightmare because she knew I was only with her because of Lizzy… one night we had a fight and she went to a bar to get drunk… she got really drunk but she tried to drive home anyway…
Monica- Chandler… I'm so sorry…
Chandler- everybody is…
Monica thought that it was time to say something positive…Monica- you have Lizzy… and you raised her on your own and you did it perfectly… she is great.
Chandler shook his head humidly, trying not to take credit for his daughter being great.
Chandler- she is all Kathy… she took after her mother's good things
Monica took his face with both hands forcing Chandler to look into her eyes and corrected him.
Monica- She is all you…
Chandler smiled and kissed Monica passionately… they had done enough confessions and serious talk for a lifetime… it was time for them to enjoy the rest of the "Thanksgiving Day".
The next Monday…. At Richard's office.
Richard was on the phone trying to convince other senator to vote against Chandler's bill. Apparently, he got his way and when he finished his phone call Tim entered in the office very exited waving some files with pictures in it.
Tim- call me Santa Claus, dad… I got you an early Christmas gift.
Richard- what do you have for me?
Tim- my friend the detective found out something about Chandler Bing's father…
Richard- really? What?
Tim- it turns out that in 1980 Chandler's math teacher was got caught doing dirty stuff with Chandler's father… Chandler's teacher was called MR. Garibaldi…
Richard- oh my god! Was Bing's father gay?
Tim- it gets better… what would you say if I told you that Charles Bing never died and that he lives in Vegas but now he is Helena Handbascket?
Tim handed Richard a current picture of Chandler's father transformed into a woman. Richard grinned maliciously and he sang softly…
Richard- "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas..."
To be continued…Well… this chapter was just meant to clear some things about Richard and Kathy…. And now Richard knows the truth about Charles Bing… what will happen next? Send a lot of reviews and you will find out…