Title: Anything?
Summary: John had always told himself that he would do anything to keep Elizabeth safe, but what she was asking him to do, what he was being cornered into went against every moral he had.
Pairing: Shep/Weir
Spoilers: Nothing big or specific but just to be safe anything up to 'Michael' is fair game.
Warnings: Language, adult themes, sexual situations, violence, non-con.
Disclaimer: Stargate Atlantis is not mine. Only the story line and any made up characters that may appear in the story belong to me.
A/N: I've never written anything like this before, but for some reason the basic plot for this stuck in my head and wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it out. Since I've never really done this kind of story I'm not sure how well it'll turn out, so I ask you all to stick with me while I work it out.
--
Sitting in the Arcadian council chamber John was really beginning to wish he had his gun with him. But since he was supposed to be keeping up the pretense of actually wanting to negotiate a treaty with the government of Arcadia, he along with Lorne had been forced to hand over their weapons before entering the council chamber. Only the fact that Ronon and a few marines were out side and still armed gave John a measure of comfort.
John would have felt better if Teyla had been there as well, but the Arcadians were a totalitarian culture that treated women lower than dirt so it had been decided to send an all male team to Arcadia. Under normal circumstances they wouldn't have even bothered dealing with the Arcadians, but the first real, promising led they'd had in a year to the whereabouts of Elizabeth had led them to Arcadia.
During a diplomatic mission off world the team had been attacked by slavers in the middle of the night and Elizabeth had been taken. John – the only one who'd seen the gate address – had been severely injured and spent a month cooped up in the infirmary. By the time he'd been coherent enough to give his people the gate address the slavers were long gone and the team had no way of knowing were they'd taken Elizabeth. They'd been searching and keeping their eyes and ears open for even the smallest hint of where Elizabeth might be ever since.
Sitting at the head of the table was Grand Patriarch Jerick, head of the Arcadian council. He was a fat, arrogant, self-centered man who was accustomed to getting what he wanted when he wanted it. Flanking him were Councilmen Talmain – a man that reminded John of a typical politician – Fensil – a sleazy weasel of a man – and Kaid – of all the councilmen John found Kaid to be an almost decent person.
John was exhausted and desperately wished he didn't have to deal with these people, but in order to have a chance to search the planet to see if Elizabeth was actually there they had to make nice with the Arcadian government. Since women weren't treated well in this culture the decision had been made not to tell Jerick and the others why they were really there. Instead while John and Lorne put on the act of working out a trade agreement Ronon and the other Marines discretely poked around the capital city to see if they could find out anything about Elizabeth.
Drawing heavily on Lorne who was more diplomatically minded than he was John was able to make it through the opening round of negotiations with out losing face or causing any diplomatic incidents. He was beginning to think he could pull this off when they brought the woman out.
There was a dozen or so of them ranging from tall and thin to short and cuddly. They were all stunningly beautiful and scantily clad, and they all wore smiles that looked as if they'd been glued on, there was no sincere emotion in their blank eyes at all.
Except for one.
John swore his heart stopped as he spotted one of the women staring right at him. Her smile was as empty as the others, but her eyes were alive and riveted to him flooding with emotion. Finally, finally after a long tortuous year he'd found her, he'd found Elizabeth.
"Gorgeous, aren't they?" Jerick called expansively.
Snapping back to his surroundings John quickly wiped the emotions he was feeling off his face, trying to keep up pretenses. "What's this?"
"Entertainment, business is over for the day it's time for fun." Jerick smiled then gestured to one of the girls, "C'mere, lovely." He pulled the woman – she couldn't be more than 19 – into his lap.
"Are these women slaves?" Lorne attempted to keep his anger and disgust out of his voice, not wanting to risk offence especially since they'd finally found Elizabeth.
"Naah, slaves know their place, these girls are nothin' but traitors, criminals. Isn't that right, sweetheart?" He firmly gripped the girl's chin. "This one here was part of a group that was plotting to over through this council."
"Every last one of these women is a terrorist or consorted with and provided aid to known terrorists, which is just as bad." Fensil spoke a look of contempt on his face. "We don't put up with their kind here. The men are made examples of, we're not barbarians though. We don't go beating and killing our woman, but even though we may have a soft spot for them we still need away to deter them."
"That's no excuse to treat them like whores." John muttered under his breath, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. He wasn't sure how but some how John kept himself from lunging over the table and strangling the life out of these men. He spoke up louder, "As much as we appreciate the offer," he choked out. "We make it policy not to mix business with pleasure."
"I insist." Jerick waved a hand and the woman began to saunter around the room. "Relax, enjoy yourselves."
John was about to speak further but stopped when Elizabeth was suddenly standing over him running a lazy finger over his chest. She leaned forward as if to kiss his cheek, whispering in his ear, "Don't refuse." Despite his best effort not to John's breath hitched at being this close to Elizabeth.
"Ah I see this one has caught your attention. You have fine taste in woman, Sheppard. I've had her a few times myself, trust me when I say you won't be disappointed." Jerick leaned forward conspiratorially. "But I must warn you she can be spirited at times, you may have to put her in her place, but that shouldn't be a problem for you." He leaned back, letting out a sharp laugh.
The only thing that kept John from finally lunging over the table was Elizabeth sliding into his lap, a hand lacing into the hair on the back of his head in a not so subtle order to stay put. Letting out a soft, but frustrated sigh John wrapped an arm around Elizabeth's waist, "I suppose I can make an exception."
"Good, I'll have her sent to your room." He grinned snapping his fingers. Elizabeth rose exiting without another look at John.
Once all the formalities for officially ending the meeting were over and the Councilmen had left John pulled Lorne aside. "Let Ronon know that we've found Elizabeth, tell him and the Marines to set up a perimeter around this building, if anyone enters or leaves this building I wanna know about it. After that's done I want you to head back to Atlantis get a jumper, come back here cloaked and get as detailed a scan of this buildings and surrounding area as you can."
"Yes, sir." Lorne nodded leaving to carry out his orders.
--
Returning to his room John pulled out his Ancient scanner checking to make sure the place hadn't been re-bugged since he'd been there that afternoon just before the negotiations had started. Finding no evidence of any more listening devices he relaxed slightly shrugging off his vest and getting comfy while he waited for Elizabeth.
It wasn't long before the door to the room opened and Elizabeth entered. John found himself momentarily speechless as she sauntered into the room. What little clothing she wore seemed designed to accentuate her femininity as much as possible: a black, lacy, strapless push-up bra with a silk tie in-between her breasts, and a pair of lacy black panties fastened by silk ribbons at the sides.
"I'm here to make your night enjoyable." Elizabeth's voice was low and pleasant; it seemed firm on the surface, but there was the faint edge of a quaver in it.
Coming to his senses John snatched his jacket off the bed where he'd tossed and moved to wrap it around Elizabeth's shoulders. "Rooms clean." He assured seeing the uncertainty and fear in Elizabeth's eyes.
Almost instantly her sexy confident pose vanished. She seemed to collapse in on herself, becoming smaller as she clutched the jacket around her. "Thank God," she took a deep shuddering breath, her eyes suspiciously bright.
John wanted nothing more than to gather Elizabeth into his arms and comfort her – to someone who knew Elizabeth as well as he did it was obvious that she was near her breaking point – but he wasn't sure how she would react to such a gesture.
"How…long…how…?" John was finding it hard to keep his emotions in check.
"Pretty much the whole time I've been gone. A man here bought me from the slavers that took me. Turned out he was a dissident, didn't agree with the government and since I was his property that made me guilty by association. On this world anyone who disagrees with the government or shows even the slightest act of dissidence is imprisoned. If you're a man…or a woman that doesn't meet their standards you're executed. If you're a woman that does meet their standards…well let's just say you'll wish you were dead."
"God…" John stopped fighting his instincts and pulled Elizabeth into his embrace.
Elizabeth buried her head into his neck, one hand clutching the front of his shirt, "I've been degraded, been tortured and humiliated here I can't bear it anymore..." She choked off, fighting for control, apparently on the edge of tears.
"Shh…" John ran a soothing hand through Elizabeth's hair. "It's almost over, I'llhave you out of here soon, I swear." They stood there like that for several minutes, suddenly John tensed, pulling back slightly when he felt Elizabeth start to trail light kisses along his neck. "Elizabeth What're you doing?"
"What I was sent here to do." She tried to move closer to continue kissing him, but John held her back.
"You don't have to do this." He frowned.
"Yes I do…" Elizabeth ducked her head. "They…they check. If they don't find evidence that we had sex I'll be punished."
"Punished…?" John shook his head in disbelief. "What if I turned you down?"
"They'd see it as my fault and still punish me…Please John, you can't imagine what I'll suffer if you don't." Her voice had a twinge of desperation and fear in it.
John ran a frustrated hand through his hair. This was not how he'd planed things to go. It wasn't that he didn't want Elizabeth; things had actually been head that way before she'd been taken, the two of them had started to explore the connection that had existed between them for a while. He didn't think he could manage, in his mind it would feel like he was raping her even if she had asked – the only reason she was asking was because she was being threatened, forced into it.
"Would it really be so bad?" Elizabeth bit her lower lip nervously. John had always told himself that he would do anything to keep Elizabeth safe, but what she was asking him to do, what he was being cornered into went against every moral he had. "I can make it good for you."
"No," He gently took a hold of Elizabeth's shoulders leading her over to sit on the bed – it wasn't his first choice but it was the only place they could both sit – as she went pale. "I mean this isn't going to be all about me."
As they settled on the bed something in Elizabeth's demeanor changed. John could only watch in puzzlement as her bright eyes went suddenly hard and flat and a seductive smile curled her lips. Before he could react Elizabeth was leaning forward capturing his lips, the jacket sliding off her shoulders.
The kiss was clinical there was no emotion of any kind behind it. Her mouth applied firm yet gentle pressure as she slid her soft, warm body against his. As if on autopilot Elizabeth's hands came up to gently stroke slowly through John's hair. One hand moved down to the back of his neck, pressing him deeper into the kiss.
"Elizabeth…stop." John pulled back, resting his forehead against Elizabeth's.
Her eyes snapped open and the tension she'd been suppressing flowed through her muscles, "What…? I don't…"
"This won't work…if this is going to happen, you have to be you, not some robot." He gently kissed her forehead. "Just you and me…no acts, no hiding true feelings, just us." He began to stroke her hair, trying to relax her with gentle, non-threatening contact. "I want this to be pleasurable for you."
"I don't…I don't know if…I'll ever find sex pleasurable again. These people they whittle me down, and whittle me down, and I wonder sometimes will I even know it when I'm broken? Has it happened already, and I didn't notice?" She cut herself off with a choked sob.
"Shh…" John wrapped her in his arms. "You haven't broken, I know you, and you'll never break no matter what. You might get a little bent but never broken." They sat there like that in silence for several minutes before John broke the silence. "I know you think this won't be pleasurable for you, but will you let me try to make it that way for you?"
"I Trust you, I do, but…"
"No buts. Just try to relax, really relax, don't just shove your tension down and pretend it isn't there. You know me, what kind of person I am you know I won't doing anything you don't want me to. If you want me to stop just say the word."
"Relax, right, right I can do that…well try to at least."
"Good now lay back." He guided Elizabeth down on the bed, stretching himself out next to her. He propped himself up on an elbow.
John soothingly stroked Elizabeth's face. Her eyes were fixed on his, burning into him gently he pushed aside her hair and kissed her neck, moving down and around it until he had reached the hollow of her throat. When he raised his head, Elizabeth was still watching him intently.
He leaned in to kiss her on the lips. She pressed back and opened her mouth invitingly before her tongue moved out to touch the tip of his own. Elizabeth's hands had come up and were stroking his sides, and under his own hands John felt her force each muscle to relax.
He broke the kiss, "What is it Elizabeth? What's wrong?"
Her eyes had gone wide. She looked for all the world like a child caught in a lie, and yet he could see hatred sparkling in them, though it wasn't hatred for him. "Nothing, nothings wrong."
"No hiding, remember? Something I did bothered you. Tell me, please."
"It's…it's nothing really…it's just that when you kissed…I mean I was ok when it was just my skin, but…"
"You should have said something."
"I'm sorry…don't be mad."
John paused, he wasn't mad not at her anyway, "I'm not mad, I'm worried." He sighed again, feeling battered by his sorrow for her and his painful discomfort with the entire situation. "If this is going to work I need you to be honest with me… Why did you respond to the kiss if you weren't comfortable with it?"
"It…it was just reflex I guess… I had to learn…if I didn't respond the way they wanted me to, they'd use the implant on me." She absently rubbed at the back of her neck.
"Implant?"
"Neural implant, it provides a direct feed of stimulus to the pain centers of the brain. Any sort of disobedience and they won't hesitate to activate it."
"God damn bastards!" John tried to clamp down on his rage.
"No argument from me." Elizabeth gave a weak smile.
John softly cupped Elizabeth's face, "It's understandable that after all this time you have these ingrained response, but I need you to try and control them, if you can't I understand, but please try. I want you to give me genuine responses, not false ones."
Elizabeth took a deep breath reaching up to hold the hand cupping her face. "God I'm really screwed up aren't I?"
"Nothing that can't be fixed with time, patience, and help." God, Heightmeyer was going to have her work cut out for her.
John went back to gently stroking Elizabeth's body. Occasional kisses on her neck or eyelids punctuated his gradual movements, until he had worked his way down to her breasts. He gave them no more than a light caress, suspecting she wasn't ready for anything more than that.
Her intense dark eyes, her slightly ragged breathing, told him she was aroused, but not enough for her to accept explicitly sexual caresses without fear driving her back into her training, John thought, she needed to be actively desirous. And he judged that she wasn't quite there yet. Instead he stroked her sides and belly, kissing the hollow of her throat and moving down from there, caressing the line of her collarbone with his mouth.
His hands teased her, stroking nearer and nearer to the groin without ever touching her there, then bypassing it entirely to run light fingers along her legs. By this time he had kissed his way down to the silk tie between her breasts, fastening her bra closed, and her breathing had grown distinctly ragged.
John undid the tie and pushed the cups of the bra out of the way. Elizabeth moaned softly. He explored the surface of one breast thoroughly with his tongue, finding all the different textures of her skin there. When he licked at the nipple itself, it was brief, teasing. Elizabeth's body shifted under his, her back arching slightly, pressing the breast up into his caresses.
John took that as an invitation and finally fastened his mouth on the nipple, suckling at it, probing it with his tongue. This time her moans were not soft at all; her hands clenched in the bed sheet and she shifted under him again, her body pressing into his. The scent of her was intoxicating, the sounds she made thrilling. His own need had started to grow, and he was finding his uniform increasingly confining.
He released her breast, sitting up to pull off his shirt and boots. Mentally he debated with himself whether or not to remove the pants -- he didn't want to make her uneasy, but they were becoming uncomfortable. John compromised, removing his pants but leaving his boxers in place for now. Elizabeth watched as he undressed, her eyes exploring his naked torso.
She reached a hand tentatively up pausing just before touching him, "I didn't think I would ever want to touch a man again, but I…I suddenly want to touch you."
"Touch away." John gently took her hand moving it to rest on his chest. She ran the hand down his chest.
John shivered a bit at her touches as he lay down beside her again. He leaned over her body, lying across it, enjoying the feel of her skin against his, and proceeded to explore her other breast as thoroughly as he had the first. She gasped as his mouth fastened on her nipple, suckling, and her hands moved over his back, tracing haphazard designs on the skin there.
As he kissed her breasts, he began an exploration of her legs with his hands. He caressed her inner thighs, and finally, lightly, caressed her groin. She gasped again, her fingers tightening into his back, then releasing. John kissed his way down her belly until he reached the line of her panties, then kissing her all across the panty line until he reached the silk tie at one of her hips. He undid the tie, pushed the panty front out of the way and licked at the junction of thigh and pelvis. He kissed his way over to the other tie, and repeated his ministrations. Then, when both ties were undone, he tugged them off her.
At last his mouth reached the hot, taut flesh of her clitoris. Elizabeth cried out as he licked and suckled at her. Her left hand reached down to his head, her fingers threading through his hair. As his left hand slid down her side, she caught it with her right, clenching it rhythmically as she moved her hips.
She was moist but not grossly drenched, her taste light and womanly, enticing without being overpowering. Gently he probed with his tongue, her muscles felt relaxed and accepting, and his desire became suddenly overwhelming.
With one hand, John worked his briefs off, trying not to disrupt the rhythm of what he was doing. This was difficult and frustrating, but better that he be frustrated than Elizabeth. He resumed suckling at her clitoris, flicking his tongue at the tip as she panted and clenched at his hand, almost tightly enough to hurt. At last he got the briefs all the way off him. John released Elizabeth, extricated his hand, and knelt between her legs, positioning himself at the entrance to her body.
As he began to penetrate her, her eyes snapped open and her whole body tensed, her expression turning to one of fear. Instantly John withdrew – he hadn't far to go, since he'd been going in slowly – and sat back on his feet, trying to ignore the protests from his frustrated groin. "Elizabeth?"
Her eyes now brightened with tears. "I'm sorry," she said, sounding miserably embarrassed. "I'm sorry, John. I can control it-- usually I can make them think I want it-- but you didn't want that, and I couldn't-- I'm sorry. Just don't worry about me. I'll get it under control."
"Of course I'll worry about you. I don't want you to pretend with me-- you did absolutely the right thing by letting me see how you really felt. You let me know we were going too quickly for you."
"I'm sorry," she whispered miserably.
"No, no you have nothing to be sorry about. We'll just take things slower." He stretched himself out and lay between her legs again, exploring belly and thighs with his tongue, teasing her a bit before he reached the center of her pleasure again.
In short order, as she continued to move with his touches, she was moaning again. John decided to bring her to orgasm this way. After that, it would be easy to get her to remain aroused as he moved into her. And there was something else he could try. As her moans grew in volume, he stroked her thighs with his hand, then explored her labia and the area between them with a single finger, gently.
Slowly he circled around her entrance and slowly, carefully, penetrated her, making her gasp. Her body tensed and relaxed, tensed and relaxed, in a natural rhythmic pattern that spoke of true pleasure. With controlled, gradual motions John probed deeper, then withdrew, then pushed his finger into her again, repeating the sensation of penetration over and over to get her used to it.
Elizabeth began to gasp in total abandon, writhing, her hips pressing her pelvis upward, into his mouth and probing finger. As his finger explored her deeper and deeper, his mouth suckled ferociously, until finally she cried out and her body jerked violently, her entire groin pulsing with orgasmic waves. John thrust his finger into her hard as she came, a few brief plunges, and withdrew as the spasms shuddered to an end.
"Doing ok?" John murmured moving up to lie next to Elizabeth, he placed a caring kiss on her cheek.
"Mmm…" Elizabeth placed a feather light kiss on the corner of John's mouth. "I'd almost forgotten what this could be like."
"It's not over yet." He gently kissed his way down from her neck to her breasts again, and his need had become positively painful. Her moans of pleasure were not helping him any in that regard; it was difficult to maintain control; he seemed to have had this erection forever. She groaned as his hand moved to caress her groin. Elizabeth shifted her hips as John slipped a finger inside her. "Let me know when you think you're ready," he said, and knew he'd truly reached her when she didn't automatically tell him to proceed.
It was several moments before Elizabeth spoke, "I…I think I'm ready." Her voice was low, but firm.
Slowly John propped himself up over Elizabeth. "Say stop and I will." He whispered hoarsely, praying that she wouldn't. He'd stop if she needed him to, of course, but damn it would be frustrating. She nodded slightly, nervously biting her lower lip.
Adjusting his hips slightly, John found her entrance and slowly pushed in. He wanted to bring her to climax first before he could allow it for himself, so he moved within her, slowly at first. He entered, pushed forward a bit then retreated, pushing in a little bit further each time.
His own controlled, measured thrusts were driving him insane with pleasure and need; he wanted to push all the way in, to take her passionately, but John was nothing if not patient. The longer he prolonged this, the more maddened with pleasure he became before he lost control, the sweeter the final release would be.
Elizabeth reached down to grasp John's butt, pulling him in closer as she moved against him, taking him in more deeply. John gasped hoarsely, he was going to lose control. He had to concentrate on something else anything but the unbearable pleasure he was feeling as Elizabeth's body thrust against his, and her warmth encircled him, she moaned in abandon as his body thrust into hers...And then she was crying out, her back arched, thrusting against him wildly, and a warm wave washed over him as he knew he could allow himself release.
John held her tightly wrapping his arms around her small frame, and thrust hard, gasping, crying out as his own climax triggered. Elizabeth's arms had gone around him, pulling him tightly against her, embracing him completely. She surrounded and enveloped him and there was nothing but the sweet hot fire of release.
John sank down having just enough mind to shift so that he wasn't crushing Elizabeth. He lazily ran a hand up and down her arm. Elizabeth lay panting for a while, overwhelmed by what she'd just experienced. For a few minutes the two of them just lay there, enjoying the afterglow.
Eventually, wordlessly, Elizabeth slid out of the bed and disappeared into the bathroom. John curled up on his side trying to fight off the sleep that threatened to envelop him, wanting to wait for Elizabeth to come back. Through sheer force of will John rolled out of bed retrieving his boxers off the floor, sliding them on. When Elizabeth came out of the bathroom John offered her his shirt – it was loose fitting on him, so would be just the right size for a nightshirt on Elizabeth. She accepted the shirt with a small smile of thanks.
Lying back down John made sure to leave enough room for Elizabeth to sleep comfortably if she didn't want to be held. He mentally smiled when she laid down next to him snuggling into his side. It had been too long since he'd done this – had a woman's warm body snuggled up next to him, relaxed and sleepy. He had been under more tension lately than he knew. The circumstances could have been a hell of a lot better, but he found he couldn't regret personally what had happened. He hoped she felt the same.
Sometime in the middle of the night a soft sound drew John out of sleep. It didn't take him long to realize that the sound was coming from Elizabeth. She was lying with her face buried into the pillow softly crying, it was barely audible. John realized it had been the trembling of her body that had awakened. Gently, wordlessly, he reached out to stroke her back and offer comfort. She jerked, her head whipping up to peer at him.
"You ok?" he didn't stop rubbing her back even as she tensed up.
"I woke you up, didn't I?" Her eyes closed, and she turned away. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
"Don't be, it's not your fault. I'm a light sleeper, it comes with the job." He gently grasped her chin forcing her to look at him. "Wanna talk about it?"
Elizabeth shook her head, "It's nothing, go back to sleep."
"Elizabeth." John brushed her hair back out of her face. "Talk to me, please."
"Really it's nothing…it's just it's been awhile since anyone's been kind to me."
Not sure what to say John wrapped his arms around Elizabeth, softly kissing her forehead. Several minutes later when her breathing changed and indicated that she was asleep, John allowed himself to drift off again.
Later in the early morning John was once again pulled from sleep. Blinking his eyes open he found Elizabeth leaning over him just watching him. With a lazy smile he reached up to brush a strand of her hair behind her ear.
"I keep expecting to wake up and find that this was all just a dream." Elizabeth spoke softly.
"Trust me this is no dream." He ran a soothing hand along her arm.
"Whatever it is I don't want it to end. I don't want to go back to being a toy for whoever comes along, every day and night until you can get me out of here."
"Well there's no way on hell I'm gonna let anyone use you like a toy ever again. I don't care if I have to beat the shit out of every man on this planet, no one is ever going to mistreat you again."
"Just ask for me, I'll be working the 'negotiations' until there over. I'm sure Jerick will accommodate any special requests."
Seeing the fear and pain that flashed in Elizabeth's eyes John put his arm around her, as if he could somehow ward off her demons. "Go back to sleep, we still have a few hours before we have to get up."
She was warm and soft and her presence comforting, but John spent at least another hour staring into the darkness, listening to her breathe before sleep finally came. He was worried about just how deep the damage went and if Elizabeth would be able work past it. John knew she would never be the same as she had been before, but he hoped she could at least get close.