Chapter 6: Comforting Thoughts

2004

Dean sped down the highway, blasting his Metallica tape, nothing ahead of him but clear roads in the dark night. His former relief for having even been able to convince his father to let him go on the trip was gone, now completely consumed by nervousness. Dean rarely got scared of anything, or at least never let it show, but somehow going on a gig without anyone, especially his father, gave him a sick feeling in his stomach. Why the hell are you nervous? He thought to himself. Besides, there's no turning back now. You're the one who fought to go on this trip, and you're not going to go back to Dad, he'll think you're a wimp. Dean thought back to the day before, when he had had the conversation with his father…

"Dad, look at this," Dean called his father over, folding the newspaper to the specific section he was looking at. "This definitely sounds like our kind of thing; Local kids of Texas are 'scared to death'. It sounds like one of the kids- a teenage girl –got split up from her friends on a camping trip, and ran into a bunch of snakes. When her friends found her, she was dead, surrounded by snakes, yet she hadn't been bitten or anything. And on her face was a 'look of pure terror'. According to this article, it's the fourth case like this in the past 6 months."

"That definitely sounds like something, but it'll have to wait," John explained to his son. "There's another gig down in Florida. A woman called, apparently her home is being haunted by a poltergeist, and it's getting more and more dangerous. After that we can go check out the Texas thing."

"Or we can split up," it was a simple suggestion by Dean, but it definitely sparked some fear into the eldest Winchester's eyes.

"No! Dean, the Texas gig can wait," John answered, not meaning to sound as harsh as he had. The truth was, John couldn't bear to lose Dean. What with Sam gone, and Mary dead, Dean was all John had left. And he couldn't bear to lose him.

"Dad, you do realize I'm 25 don't you? I can handle this on my own," Dean told him.

John racked his brain for a decent excuse to get Dean to just go along to Florida, because Dean was right about one thing- he was definitely old enough to do this, and definitely had enough skills and power as well. Hell, John thought, he had enough skills and power to do this at thirteen.

When John honestly couldn't think of a half-decent reason, he said, "Well….we only have one car!" Jesus, man, that was terrible he thought to himself.

"So? You take a plane or something. Yours is further away, I can get there by car in the next day. It'd take you much longer by car," Dean retorted.

John knew that Dean wasn't going to back down on this one, and he really wasn't in the mood to argue anymore. "Fine, Dean, just go. The car has all the weapons you'll need," John explained in exasperation. "Anyways, just tell me when you're leaving…" he said, heading to his bedroom to turn in for the night.

"Actually," John stopped in his tracks as he heard his eldest son drop a small bag on the kitchen table, "I was going to leave now." Dean explained.

John gave the bag a glance, realizing that it was full of any kind of provisions Dean would need. Obviously Dean had been full ready to leave; probably asking John for his permission was just an afterthought of his.

John sighed as he said, "Okay…well, just call and check in every once in awhile- on my cell." As Dean headed for the door, John said what he'd really meant to, "Dean- be careful, alright?"

Dean looked surprised by his father's momentary lapse of vulnerability, but shook his head and proceeded out the door.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Sam."

Sam couldn't remember a time in his life where he had ever been as happy as he was at that moment. It was his and Jess' one-year anniversary, and he had made reservations at a really romantic restaurant, but they skipped it for a simple picnic in a park near Stanford. Sam honestly couldn't believe he had only been going out with her for a year, it felt like he'd been with her his whole life, cheesy as it sounded.

He still remembered the day he first asked her out; he had heard about a month earlier that Jess and her previous boyfriend, Jack, had broken up, but Sam wasn't the type of guy to just swoop in and take a girl when she was vulnerable. Well, that's what Sam said was the excuse for it taking him so long to ask her out- the sad truth was he was just too damned nervous. And when he finally asked her, he expected her to turn him down flat. But she hadn't.

And now he was here today, and he was deliriously in love with her. This would've made Dean sick the thought entered Sam's mind before he knew what had hit him. Why the hell was he thinking about how Dean would feel? He hadn't really given a thought towards Dean, awful as it made Sam feel, since he had last seen him, almost two years ago. Now that he actually got to thinking about that day, he started feeling sick.

Jess must have noticed the change in his expression as she asked, "Hey, baby, you alright?"

"Yeah…yeah, I'm really sorry Jess. I was just thinking about something," he explained. He shook his head, trying to get any thoughts of Dean out of his head. Get it together, you idiot! You have your beautiful girlfriend right in front of you, and all you can think about is your guilt over snapping at your brother!

Though Sam tried to act as though everything was fine, Jess knew him well enough to realize otherwise, and wouldn't let the subject drop, "Sam, you're not alright. What were you thinking about?"

Sam looked into her eyes and saw the seriousness in them, and knew she was asking because she was worried for him. He leaned in and kissed her briefly on the lips, before pulling away and saying, "Really, Jess, its nothing. You don't need to worry about anything."

She looked skeptical, but let him go with that, and leaned into him as he kissed her forehead. Any thoughts of Dean floated into the back of his mind- that was his old life. He was here with Jess in his new one, and he was the happiest he was ever going to get. The last thing he needed was remains of his old life tinting this perfect one.

Dean pulled into the parking lot of "Sleepy Joe's Motel" and parked the Impala, heading inside to book a room for the night. After using his fake credit card to get it, he walked into the room, not surprised by the crappiness of it.

He set down his bag and immediately a feeling of loneliness came over him. But he tried to brush it aside, and took out his laptop to look up more of the case he was pursuing. It was pretty easy for Dean to figure out that the creature scaring everyone to death was a demon of fear. When he researched more on the articles, especially the most recent death with the girl and the snakes, he soon found through quotes from family and friends that her worst fear was snakes.

The nervousness that Dean had previously felt was beginning to dim down. This was going to be easy. Dean knew that you saw the demon of fear right before you- well, before it scares you to death. So all Dean had to do was face down his worst fear, kill the demon, and bada-bing-bada-boom, no more fear demon terrorizing the town. And Dean definitely had an edge, knowing what his worst fear was: planes. But the real edge was that when Dean faced down his worst fear, he would know it was all just an illusion- sadly unlike the other victims of the demon.

Dean glanced at his watch and saw how late it was- midnight. Realizing the time, he soon became incredibly tired, and lay down on the cheap bed, falling asleep within seconds.

The next morning, Dean drove up to the nearest airport, knowing what he had to do. He was freaked as hell about getting on a plane –even though he had picked the shortest flight available, as it was only going about an hour's distance. He also knew that it was all going to be an illusion, whatever happened on the plane, but that didn't make him feel any better. I wish Dad were here Dean thought as he stepped onto the plane, feeling nauseous as hell.

An hour later, Dean stepped off the plane in shock, and not because of anything that had happened. In fact, he was shocked by the lack of what had happened. Nothing remotely scary went down on that plane, and Dean wasn't sure whether to be relieved or not.

As he drove to the cheapest motel he could find, he thought about all the possibilities of why nothing had happened. And the one that kept coming back to him haunted him the most. What if planes aren't my worst fear? If this were the case, Dean really had no idea what his worst fear was, and that scared him more than anything. Now the demon could get him at any time, and he'd be completely vulnerable, not actually knowing what his worst fear was.

"How the hell are planes not my worst fear?" he asked himself, completely baffled.

He quickly got the room at the motel, and walked into the room, deep in thought. He was so absorbed in what was going on in his mind that he didn't notice the blood dripping down onto the bed…

When he finally noticed the soft 'patter-patter' of the blood dripping onto the sheets, he turned to wear said noise was coming from, and looked up onto the ceiling- to see Sam.

Dean's breath caught in his throat as he saw the slash across his brother's stomach, and Sam's mouth moving, with no noise coming out- he was still alive.

"Sam! Sammy!" Dean yelled as he hopped onto the bed, trying to save his brother.

But just as soon as Dean got close enough to getting his brother, he felt a flash of heat erupt from the ceiling, and was knocked back by the force of the fire emitting from his brother's body.

But Dean wouldn't give up, still trying to reach for his baby brother, though the flames still licked at his face. "Sammy! SAMMY!" Dean screamed as an invisible force knocked him onto the ground again, and he could do nothing but watch as his brother burned alive on the ceiling.

"SAMMY! NO!" Dean woke in a cold sweat two years later, in a dark motel room. He looked around at his surroundings, and came to terms with the fact that it was just a nightmare. As that fact settled on him, he tried to catch his breath when suddenly the light snapped on, and Dean turned to see the face of his worried younger brother.

"Dean, you alright?" he asked.

"Yeah…yeah, just a nightmare, I guess," Dean explained, finally getting some normalcy back into his breathing. The truth was that Dean knew that it wasn't just a nightmare, it was his past coming back to haunt him. That night when he saw his brother's burning body –his worst fear- he honestly almost died. In fact, if it hadn't been for his father saving him at the last minute (count on it for his father to realize the whole time that he was going to fail, and somehow figure out his location) he probably would've died of fear. He couldn't go up against the demon again, and it was his father who eventually had to destroy it. Dean was so embarrassed by the situation, that he actually refused to go on a hunt by himself for another couple of his months, despite the eagerness he used to have to do so.

Dean really had never thought that his worst fear had been losing Sammy, but when the fear demon made him realize it was, it all made perfect sense to Dean. He didn't know what he would do if he lost Sammy. Which made it so scary to be hunting with him again. What if something happens to him? Was a common thought that went through Dean's head every time they found a new gig. But Dean knew he would never let anything touch Sammy, not if he had to die to protect him. Dean was interrupted from his thoughtful state as Sam, though still concerned with Dean's nightmare, turned off the light, and turned on his side, trying to find sleep again.

Don't worry, Sammy, I'll never let anything happen to you…Dean thought as he closed his eyes, wishing for a dreamless sleep.

A/N: Wow, this one took a LONG time to get out there, now didn't it? Ok, I know you guys after reading this chapter probably think I'm a God-awful writer after the latest two chapters (or the whole story, depending on your thoughts) and that I know nothing about the show as Dean probably seemed very out of character in this one. And I'm very sorry for all that, and I just want to thank everyone for putting up with me. All you reviewers out there have really been too kind to me, and you honestly will never know how much I appreciate it. Even if you do hate this story, and think its awful, I still want to thank you for even giving it the time of day and reading it, that honestly means more to me than anything. Sorry this makes no sense, lol, anyways xoxoxoxoxo to all of you!