Disclaimer: Tolkien Estate owns most, New Line owns some, I own a copy of the books.

Title: Middles

Characters: Bilbo, Frodo

Word Count: 294

Rating: K

Summary: I couldn't think of anything that had a middle that I wanted to write about, until I got it: Frodo. All dialogue.

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"Frodo, you're too thin. People won't even think you're a hobbit. They'll think I've gone and adopted a stunted Elf."

"Now, Uncle, you know I eat. It's not my fault I don't put on weight."

"Well, look at you. You're as thin as a tween, and thinner than some."

"I can't help it, Uncle."

"You're cousin, Peregrin. He's as thin as you are."

"He's only eleven."

"Exactly. You're never going to find a lass if you don't put on some weight."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"A lass wants a lad who has a strong body."

"Well, if a lass doesn't want me simply because I'm too thin, then she's not right for me. Besides, you've got what I don't and you never married."

"What lass would want to marry Mad Baggins?"

"Exactly. Looks have nothing to do with it."

"I know, lad, but you don't look healthy."

"I feel fine."

"Your other cousin, Meriadoc. Look at him. He's a fine lad, never been ill other than that time he ate a bad mushroom."

"So?"

"So, he's going to have droves of lasses after him once he comes of age."

"So?"

"So... Oh, why do I bother. You're almost as stubborn as I am."

"Well, I learned from the best."

"What about that Gamgee boy, Samwise?"

"What about him?"

"He's a strapping lad. The Cotton's girl's had her eyes on him."

"I'm not like Sam. I don't like dirt."

"I know you don't" But folks are going to think you're still in your tweens when you're sixty."

"So, what's the problem with that?"

"Well, nothing really. It's just, people talk. Down in the market, old Tom Barley was talking about how you don't have a middle."

"So?"

"Oh, I give up."

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Well, that's it for this one. Not my best, but I like it. Hey, I forgot last chapter, please Read and Review. It really does help us write better. Thanks.

A/N: I'm really sorry, but I think I tried to tackle too much with my other story. I just can't get any inspiration, not to mention time, to write well for it. Again, my deepest apologies.

Next chapter: Endings