Epilogue
Sometimes I wonder if it's worth it, all the trouble I go through with her. She's just so… hopeless, though for some reason I don't really mind. She just forgets things all the time, and she's always lost in her own world. She smiles at nothing, and she's far too affectionate with me - while we're at school, for God's sake. I guess she doesn't realise that it's… not socially acceptable, or something. She just throws her arms around my neck, or around my waist, or rests her head against my shoulder - or my chest. It's nothing like the idiots surrounding us say - we're not lovers or anything, we don't kiss or hold hands, or do any of those things that couples do. Not that I… want to, or anything. Or at least, I'd never admit it. Besides, I don't even think she knows how.
She treats me almost like an older brother, or a really close childhood friend. It's so easy to make her happy - you just have to do something for her - anything. It's like she just needs the reassurance that someone cares about her enough to do stuff like that.
I have this dream… not exactly a fantasy or anything, just an idea. Maybe next year, once we graduate, we could leave home. We could… I don't know, find a place to live together. Go to the same uni. I could get a job, support the both of us, if she wants me to. We could look after each other, something like that. It's just an idea. And wishful thinking on my part, I'm sure. I know the way Pearl is. She wouldn't think of doing something like that in a thousand years.
I… I really care about her, though I still hate admitting it, even to myself. Especially to myself.
Before I knew her, she was just a stranger I saw, but never noticed. Always quiet, just by herself, always alone.
But now I know, I was like that too.
From time to time I wonder if he regrets being with me, being my friend. He can be grumpy, and he loses his temper quite easily, though I think he never gets really angry at me. Sometimes he'll just turn up to school, and he'll already be in a bad mood. Then I can only expect monosyllable words from him, and if I'm lucky, just a 'Hmph' to my questions. I think he gets uncomfortable when I do things with him sometimes, like hug him, so I know he doesn't want to go any further. Also, he's always so protective of me. If anyone at school ever says anything about me, or even looks at me the wrong way, Elazul always stands up for me, sometimes in quite a violent manner. I think we sort of understand each other a little, at least more than other people do.
He treats me almost like a little sister, or a favourite student. It isn't always easy to tell when he's happy, because he doesn't smile all that often, though I've caught him once or twice. Usually he's smiling because of something I've done. Especially after he's tried to do something nice for me, and I thank him. I think he just likes being needed. He likes having someone who really wants him there, appreciating the things he does.
I have this idea… well, really it's more like a fantasy or a dream. Next year, after finals are over, maybe we could step out into the real world together. We could… live in the same house. Attend the same uni. I could clean the house, and cook for him, if he wants. We could look after each other, something like that. But it's just a dream. And a hopeless fantasy at that, I'm sure. I know the way Elazul is. He would never think of doing something like that, not ever.
I… I really like him, though I'm still not sure of my feelings.
Before I knew him, he was just some person I saw, but never noticed. Always silent, just by himself, always alone.
But I think… I was like that too.
I think we're both still not certain about what the future holds, but at least we know that we're not entirely alone anymore.
We're alone together.
. :END: .
A/N: This is the end. I'm so sorry that the last few chapters were updated rather infrequently. Anyway, before this story fades into obscurity, I'd love to hear what you thought of the story as a whole. I know it wasn't perfect, and if you've been following the story at all, I'd love to hear any criticism you might have! Anyway – thanks for reading and giving me feedback – I tend to have a lot of insecurities about my own writing, which is why very little actually gets published. I really appreciate it, and I hope you enjoyed the story.