The Devils Triangle
Chapter 20: Confusion
November 2005
Ginny Apparated into the kitchen of her tidy country cottage; it was such a relief to be home. She had just completed a 24-hour shift at the hospital, a shift during which she had been unable to catch any rest. She was exhausted, but still too wound-up to go to sleep.
The welcoming "WOOF!" of her Irish wolfhound lumbering behind her came a split second too late, and as she turned she found herself pinned to the panty wall with the huge dogs paw resting easily on her shoulders as her face was thoroughly licked clean.
"Hello, Faustus! How's my baby boy today?" Ginny said while squirming her way out from under him and rubbing him all over. "I'm sorry Mummy was gone so long. Did Dribbles take good care of you? Did he? Such a good muffin, you are! Come on, Mummy's very tired... let's make us some tea and then we'll cuddle over there. How's that sound?"
She wrapped herself in her favorite fluffy bathrobe, made herself a cup of soothing tea and peeked out her window to see the sun just beginning to show itself over her garden gate. Faustus was less than a step behind her at all times.
Ginny loved her home, the perfect sanctuary. It was situated within easy Apparating distance to the hospital, yet surrounded by friendly farms which gave her the privacy she craved after a long shift at work. She had a small kitchen garden in which she whiled away a good deal of her free time, growing vegetables for herself and many of her friends and family. She couldn't have picked a more perfect place to live, and yet she hadn't chosen this home for herself. Even after nearly two years of living here, occasionally the memories as to how she had arrived here would flood back to her and she'd find herself crying amongst her pumpkins.
"Ginny, are you there?" A voice came from Ginny's fire.
"Yes, Hermione. Is something wrong?" Ginny knew Hermione was an early riser ever since the twins were born three years earlier, but she couldn't imagine what would prompt her to floo so early.
"No, nothing's wrong. I'm coming right over." Hermione withdrew from the flames and within moments was standing in Ginny's neat kitchen, accepting the cup of tea which Ginny handed her.
The moment Ginny saw Hermione's face, she knew there was something amiss.
"Hermione, you look stricken. What's wrong? Is someone sick? How are the twins? It's not Ron, is it? Or Harry?"
"No, no, no. Nobody's sick," she said tepidly while quickly stepping around Faustus, trying to avoid his customary tongue-bath greeting. "The twins are fine; Ron's spending the morning with them. But he was trying to floo you last night. There's something you should know."
"Alright then," Ginny agreed and motioned for them to both move to the cosy nook before the fire. "How are you feeling Hermione? Things seem to be coming along nicely for you."
"Yes, I'm fine," she said as she eased herself and her swollen belly into a soft chair. "After what the twins put me through, this pregnancy is a joy."
"Good," Ginny said gladly and then remained quiet, waiting for Hermione to explain the reason for her visit.
"Like I mentioned, Ron was trying to floo you last night. He thought maybe you had a date."
Ginny laughed and shook her head. "My brother is ever hopeful for my love life, but no. I was at the hospital."
"Yes, I tried to explain to him that was the more likely scenario, but he's never quite been able to grasp the crazy schedule of a Healer, particularly since your promotion."
"Why was he trying to contact me then?"
Hermione cleared her throat uncomfortably and squirmed a bit.
"Out with it, Hermione."
"Well… Ron stumbled across Harry yesterday."
"What did Harry tell him?" she asked tensely, hoping that Harry would have the good sense to keep his mouth shut about certain things. Ginny certainly didn't need a lecture from her brother about subjects she'd already been lectured on, dozens of times.
"Nothing, I think," Hermione said, suddenly wondering about Ginny's change in manner. But Ginny and Harry always had secrets they didn't share with the world. "It's just Ron ran across Harry at The Leaky Cauldron, he was pissed as a newt."
"Harry? Harry doesn't drink much!"
"He was with Draco," Hermione explained.
"Oh," she said, gripping her tea cup with both hands.
"Ron thought you should be warned about it, in case you get dragged into whatever they're up to."
"Oh. Yes. Thank you." Ginny said numbly.
"Ginny, are you alright? You've gone quite pale."
"I'm fine, Hermione," she said stiffly.
"Ginny, you don't look fine."
Ginny stared into the fire, with the familiar stony expression which always engulfed her when the topic of her complicated love life was broached.
"I'd like to help," Hermione tried again.
Ginny shook her head slightly and continued to stare into the fire without speaking.
"Ginny, I owe you an apology. Probably many apologies."
Ginny shrugged.
"I miss the day when we could talk to each other openly. I know you don't trust me; I've taken Ron's side too many times. And I know he's been hard on you. But he loves you so much, he just wants you happy."
"Ron wants me with Harry," Ginny grumbled.
"That's not true! Not entirely. When you were with Draco, Ron tried! He saw how happy you were and he tried to be happy for you. But then it ended so suddenly and you withdrew from us, and to this day we don't know what happened! We don't know what happened with either Draco or Harry, for that matter."
"I told you a dozen times why I couldn't be with Harry!" she snapped. "You just refused to try to understand! Maybe that's why I don't bother anymore!"
"Alright," Hermione agreed slowly. "You're right, I'm sorry. Anytime you tried to tell us about what went wrong there, we were too busy trying to get the two of you back together to really listen."
"Humph," Ginny grunted into the fire.
"Ginny, I'd like to help. I promise I'll listen with an open-mind to anything you want to tell me. You've been keeping things bottled up for so long, and you should get them out. Ever since you broke up with Draco, you've kept everyone at an arms distance. It's like you don't want us in your life anymore."
Ginny shrugged again, but said nothing.
Hermione got herself a second cup of tea and settled back into her comfortable chair. She could wait all day if necessary.
It took a long time, but finally Ginny started to talk.
"I was spoiled," she began slowly droning. "I was only fifteen when I started having these huge feelings. And not just for one boy, but for two. I was too young. I took those feelings for granted; I had no idea how rare they are. How was I to know that was all I'd be given?"
"All you'd be given? You're only twenty-four years old! Do you honestly think you'll never love again?"
Ginny nodded solemnly. "That part of me is dead, or sleeping, or just really tired, I don't know."
"But you've dated other men. What are you saying?"
"I'm saying it's easier to go on a date or two with a man that someone is determined to set me up with, than it is to explain I'm not interested. After a couple of dates they go away, a few more determined ones may stick around a bit longer.
I used to try to tell myself they were intimidated by Harry and what we achieved together. But that's not true, I know that now. They leave because I'm empty, because I have nothing to give them."
The straight forward confidence behind Ginny's words broke Hermione's heart.
"Ginny! No! How did you get like this? You used to have so much love in you! I can't believe it's gone."
"I have my career, Hermione," she said a bit too brightly. "That's going wonderfully!"
"Ginny, being promoted to St. Mungo's Director of Research against Dark Magic is not a substitute for a love life! You deserve more than that!"
Ginny shrugged again. "I'm happy," she insisted.
Hermione stared piercingly at her. "I've seen you happy Ginny, and this isn't it."
"Are you here to make me feel better or worse, Hermione?" Ginny snapped.
"Sorry. I'm just trying to understand. Do you know why Harry and Draco would be getting pissed together all of a sudden?"
Ginny nodded solemnly. "I have a good idea."
"Why?"
"Harry's up to something…but he doesn't have enough information to know what he's doing."
"No one has enough information, Gin. You don't talk anymore!"
Ginny stared stonily at Hermione for a moment. The truth was, Ginny agreed with Hermione. She'd kept her heartbreak to herself for too long and it was eating at her from the inside out. And now it seemed as if the muck was going to be stirred-up once again, whether she was ready or not.
She had to prepare herself for what was coming and so she started to talk for the first time in a long time.
"Well, you already know how everything started between the three of us. I guess things got confusing for you when I left Harry."
"You just disappeared."
"I didn't disappear," Ginny chuckled. "I just turned to the one person who I knew would be on my side."
"Draco."
"Yes, Draco. I was such a mess when I left Harry, I didn't even trust myself to Apparate to Draco's flat. By the time I arrived there I could barely stand………….."
January 2001
"Ginny!" Draco greeted her happily when he opened his door and then his smile slowly faded as he took in the sight of her puffy red face and the pile of luggage floating beside her.
"Moving in?" he asked, while silently calculating the quickest and least painful way to extract from her what was wrong, without upsetting her further.
But it was too late, as a seizure of tears gripped her and she crumbled into his arms.
"Shhh… I've got you," he whispered, as he pulled both Ginny and her luggage fully into the flat, using his wand to direct the bags out of sight and led her to the sofa.
A long time later Ginny lifted her head from Draco's shoulder as he held her soothingly.
"I've left him," she sputtered with a small wave of fresh tears.
"I gathered that much. You had a fight?"
"No."
"I don't understand."
"I can't… I can't…" she tried, but failed to finish.
"You can't what, Gin?" he asked gently.
"I can't be what he needs me to be," she finally managed.
"I still don't understand, Ginny. You were always everything he needed."
Again, Ginny was silent for a long time while trying to formulate into words, feelings that she'd never tried to express aloud. It was painful and nearly impossible for her to face feelings of which she was almost ashamed.
"It's that… it's that I lost myself in Harry, I think. It was so easy to do; his problems were so big and I was able to help just by loving him, and he's so easy to love."
Draco bit his tongue hard and Ginny continued.
"I just can't live the kind of life he leads."
"Ah… his pathetic need to always be the hero is finally wearing on you. Welcome to the club."
"No time to joke," she sniffled.
"I wasn't joking, but never mind, let's move on. I often wondered why you two never got married."
"He's asked."
For a moment, Draco was silent. His heart twisted at the news that Potter had asked her to marry him. On the other hand, his heart soared with triumph in the fact that Ginny had left him and was safely enveloped in his arms.
"So, how did you get to this point? This can't have happened overnight."
"No, it's been a long time coming, years really. Once Voldemort was vanquished, I hoped we could put it behind us and live a normal life, but Harry doesn't know what that is.
"Everyone else backed away from constantly running towards evil. Hermione went to the Academy of Advanced Alchemistic Research. Ron's teaching flying at Hogwarts and hopes to get involved in professional Quidditch, and it's turned into a career he loves. And I got my apprenticeship at the hospital. But Harry… Harry…"
"Kept looking for another dragon to slay," Draco provided.
"It's selfish of me to complain, isn't it? No, don't answer that. I know it's selfish."
"It's your life too, Ginny. You have the right to set some of the boundaries."
"I've had enough danger and excitement to last a lifetime! Now I just want a quiet life. I want a family and a husband who's there and safe. Is that asking too much?"
"No, it's not too much to ask. Ginny, why did you come here? Why didn't you go to your parents, or one of your brothers?"
"Everyone I know will tell me I'm mad, especially my family. They'll say we're meant to be together and I should go back to him and work it out. You're the only one who won't say that."
"No, it doesn't sound like something I'd say, does it?" he sighed, trying to hide a smirk threatening to appear on his face.
"Can I stay here, Draco? Just until I get settled somewhere."
"Of course, if you're sure that's what you want. You can take Astrid's room for tonight, and there's a vacant flat across the hall. We'll move you in there tomorrow."
"I can't afford this building Draco! I'm not even a full healer yet."
"Of course you can, I own it. The rent will be whatever you can afford. Call it a philanthropic contribution to the magical healing profession. Quigley's always after me to give back to the community, and contribute to making the world a better place. Blah. Blah. Blah."
Ginny chuckled. "I don't think this is exactly what he meant, but thank you. How is Mr. Quigley?"
"Just fine, brilliant as ever. He always manages to tell me what to do and make me think it's my idea." Draco shrugged and smirked. "It's late. You look really tired, Gin. Let me show you where you're sleeping, and we can talk more in the morning."
Draco led her to a small bedroom and Ginny settled in for the night. Draco was sure he'd find Potter on his doorstep the next morning. Ginny was correct in her assumption that Draco would never tell her to go back to Potter. However, although he wouldn't say it aloud, he didn't doubt reconciliation was inevitable.
The next morning Ginny arose to the smell of coffee. She had cried herself to sleep and awoke still a bit puffy and achy, but still feeling better than the previous evening. She stretched and dressed and made her way to the small kitchen of Draco's flat.
She was surprised to see Draco pulling a rack of toast from the hearth.
"You cook?" Ginny asked incredulously.
"On a good day I can manage toast and coffee, thank you. I have Dribbles, my house-elf, working on another project this morning. Sit. Eat. Jam or butter?"
"Both please," she said as she sat in the comfortable little nook in the kitchen. "Astrid's room doesn't seem very lived-in, Draco."
"No, she's not here much anymore. When she's not at Hogwarts she's visiting some friend or worse, some boyfriend," Draco grumbled.
Ginny grinned. "Astrid's discovered boys? Besides you, I mean."
Draco rolled his eyes. "Don't remind me. That's not even the most horrifying part!"
"What?" Ginny asked curiously as she wolfed down her toast and coffee. It seemed like ages since her last meal.
"She's developing the most scandalous weakness for Gryffindor boys!"
Ginny smiled wanly and a far away looked shadowed her face. "Gryffindor boys are… very nice."
"Nice… yes." Draco spat, as if it pained him to say the word. "Apparently they're the only ones brave enough to date her. She's gotten bloody gorgeous, but she's as prickly as ever! A boy is more likely to be hexed than kissed by that one. I keep telling myself that's the upside."
Ginny grinned to herself. "How old is she now? Fifteen?"
"Yes," Draco grumbled.
"That's the same age I was when things started happening with me, remember?"
"Oh, blast," Draco groaned.
Draco smiled to see Ginny laugh. The laughter didn't travel all the way to her eyes, but even so, it was nice to see.
Surprisingly, Potter was not waiting at his door in the morning, nor was there a Weasley in sight.
"Gin, does anyone know you're here?"
Ginny shook her head guiltily.
"You need to tell someone you're safe. They'll be frantic."
Ginny huffed. "I'll owl and tell them I'm safe. But I'm not going to mention where I am. I don't want to drag you into this. They'll be able to track me down at St Mungo's on Monday."
"Whatever you want. I'm not averse to dodging a few misaimed Weasley hexes; it would seem like old times," Draco shrugged. "In the meantime, come with me. I'll show you what Dribbles is up to."
Draco led to the flat across the hall and Ginny was surprised to see it was already comfortably furnished and looked ready to live in. In fact it looked surprisingly like Draco's flat.
"I'm afraid Dribbles doesn't have much of a sense of style," he cringed a bit, looking around at the mismatched furnishings. "Now you know who put my flat together. I'm afraid I haven't had the time or motivation to do anything to it myself. I'm not home much, always at silly business commitments in the evening and at the Manor at the weekend."
"Draco! I couldn't possibly accept this!" she said, stunned at his generosity.
"Why not? This is just dribs and drabs from the Manor. Just borrow it. Use it as long as you need it and send it back. Might as well get some use out of it."
"Draco! And the flat! Honestly! I can't accept a flat from you!"
"Why not?"
"It's just… not done! It would look…"
"Weaslette!" he interrupted. "You need a flat… I have an empty flat. Use it."
"I couldn't…" she continued to protest.
"Of course you can… Look, the truth is I keep this flat empty. I don't allow the building manager show it to anyone, because this isn't a restricted building."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, this flat could very easily be let to Muggles! I can't have that!"
"DRACO!"
"Imagine the horror of dirty Muggles living right across the hall!"
"DRACO! I'm ashamed of you!"
"See! I need you here! I'm in danger of reverting back to my old Death Eater ways!"
"DRACO!" Ginny laughed. "You're not a Death Eater! You're a hopeless snob!"
"Then reform me!" he pled, finally letting a devastating smirk befall his face.
"You're awful! You think I'm that easily manipulated?" Ginny pushed past him to get a better look at the flat. She had to admit, it looked wonderful, certainly more comfortable than anything she could scrabble together on her own.
"It'd be fun being neighbors," Draco, continued to nudge her over the edge.
Ginny grinned at him.
"Good," he said. "I'll send your bags over and leave you to get settled." Draco backed out of the room, with a satisfied smirk plastered to his face.
November 2005
"That's it? You moved in that quickly?" Hermione asked, as Ginny paused to refill her teacup.
"It's not like I had a lot of choices," shrugged Ginny.
"Why were you so sure you wouldn't reconcile with Harry."
"I didn't leave Harry on a whim, Hermione. I was fairly certain of my decision. And Harry didn't exactly come running after me, did he?"
"Harry was devastated, Ginny. You should have seen him!"
"And what did he do? He buried himself in his work, didn't he?"
Hermione nodded. "He went on a mission. He was gone for three weeks."
"I rest my case."
"But when he came back, he was determined to do anything to get you back… it's just…"
"He didn't try to contact me… I didn't see Harry 'til months later!"
"No… he didn't try after all… that article came out shortly after he returned from the mission. That Rita Skeeter article about you and Draco."
"And of course you all believed every word, because she's only ever written truth about all of you!" Ginny snapped viciously.
"It's not like you were contradicting it, Ginny. You let us believe it was true."
"Every time I talked to any of you it was always the same story! 'Poor Harry! Ginny's mad!' The message never changed, and you never listened!"
"I've already apologized for that," Hermione said quietly.
"Hermione, nothing had happened between Draco and me when that article was published. In fact, it was months before anything happened with Draco."
"Really?" Hermione seemed genuinely surprised. "How did that happen?"
Ginny smiled. "It crept up on us… on me anyway. It was Neville who kind of forced the issue.
"Neville?"
"Yeah… Neville…"
May 2001
Ginny and Neville were having a peaceful lunch in the hospital's commissary. Ginny had tucked into a warm bowl of lentil soup, while Neville was working on his second chicken sandwich.
"Oh look," Neville announced from behind The Daily Prophet he was reading. "Draco Malfoy has fathered another heir!"
Ginny didn't even look up from the healer journal she was reading. "Oh really? Who with this time? I hope not me again."
"No, not you. It's a Helga von Strguer-what-not… I can't say it. They're expecting a love-child this autumn," he said with his mouth full of chicken.
"Busy boy that Draco," Ginny said flatly. "He must have fathered at least two dozen heirs by twenty different women by now."
"Don't these stories bother him?"
Ginny shrugged. "I have no idea. He never mentions them. Anyway, it's not as if Draco's ever been one to pay attention to anyone's opinion of him."
"So there's no truth to it at all?"
"Of course not! Neville, three months ago Rita Skeeter reported that Draco and I were together! Was that true?"
Neville was suspiciously quiet for a moment. "But then how do the rumors start?"
"I don't know. All I know is that a few of months ago that Helga von Strguer-what-not was in London. She's the last of an ancient Transylvanian wizarding family and she was selling off some family heirlooms to fund the musical career of her latest boy-toy. Draco couldn't stand her! But you know how much family tradition means to him, so they went out to dinner and Draco was pleased to acquire several bargains to add to the endless Malfoy collection. He was home in bed by eleven. Alone. End of story."
Neville snickered involuntarily. "Not that you keep track of these things."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing… you just seem very well informed for a neighbor," he chuckled.
"We're friends, Neville! Of course I know about his personal life."
Neville took a deep breath and started down a very dangerous path.
"Ginny, it's been four months since you and Harry broke up. And although you were a mess for a couple of months there… well, lately everything about you is different. I'm just trying to work out the cause."
"The cause of what? What are you talking about?"
"You're happy, Ginny," he said gently. "I've never seen you happier."
Ginny scowled at him, not believing what she was hearing.
"So, there's no way I could be happy without a man in my life?" she spat. "It couldn't be that I'm getting high marks in all my courses and our research is progressing nicely?"
"No, that's not what I'm saying! I just find it difficult to believe there's nothing going on there."
"Neville, I do believe I would notice if there were a man in my bed."
"I'm not necessarily talking about sex, Ginny."
"Neville, stop dancing around the subject and tell me what you're thinking because I haven't a clue."
"Okay, look at it from the prospective of a casual observer. Six months ago Malfoy was in the society columns daily with pictures of him always with a different witch. And now, nothing. He's rarely seen in public because he's off playing house with you, thus forcing the gossip columns to make up stories like the one today."
"We're not playing house! We're neighbors!"
"The bloke has taken himself off the market, Gin," Neville said gently. "Think about it. How much time do you spend together?"
"Not much!" she insisted. "Just dinner a few times a week… house-elves hate to cook for one… er, well that's what he says anyway. But we usually cook for ourselves."
"And on weekends?" Neville prodded further.
Ginny shrugged, "Sometimes we go to the country."
"And where did you go last weekend, Gin?" Neville asked, finally letting a broad grin settle over his face.
"Paris," she admitted reluctantly and glared at Neville as he dissolved into laughter.
"Paris, in the springtime… no romance there, eh?" Neville couldn't help but chuckle.
Ginny sat stunned, staring at Neville's guffaws.
"No! You've got it wrong! I'm not an idiot! I would know if he were… Neville, he never even touches me!" Ginny slapped down her journal and spoon. "I have to go!"
Ginny overturned her chair as she began to bolt.
"Ginny wait," Neville grabbed her hand to stop her. "A long, long time ago you promised me that if you ever found someone who made you happy you'd grab on and not let go. It looks like Malfoy may have grown into the part. Take a look in the mirror, Gin. That's all I'm saying."
Neville watched Ginny escape at lightning speed.
"There aren't enough O's in smooooth for you Malfoy," Neville chuckled to himself.
Hours later Ginny sat curled in front of her fire. In spite of the warm weather she couldn't shake the chill. She had escaped from the hospital early and had spent the afternoon with her mind reeling.
Was there something between her and Draco? If there was, was Draco aware of it? Had he been manipulating her? Or, had he been behaving like a friend? Did she want more than friendship?
She was being truthful when she told Neville that Draco never touched her. But as soon as the words left her lips, she realized how unusual that truth was. Ever since they had become friendly Draco would freely touch her. Even when she was with Harry, Draco would often touch her and plant her with a friendly kiss in greeting.
But since she moved into the flat across the hall, nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Not so much as a hug, unless she were having a Harry-related crying jag.
What did that mean?
The answer to her question came almost as soon as she asked it.
She remembered their one night together in the Three Broomsticks, when they were dating at school. Draco drove her mad all evening because he had never once touched her.
When she asked about it, he said when you're denied something you want, you want it more and when you finally obtain what you desire it's that much sweeter because of the longing.
Was that what he was doing? Was he even aware of it?
The only thing Ginny knew for sure at the moment was she couldn't face Draco. And that was a problem.
He would surely be tapping on her door any moment. When they both happened to be at home in the evenings, they always ate together, at least. They often spent the entire evening together; even if all they did was catch up on their own paperwork or reading, they always did it together.
The inevitable tap came at her door. Ginny burrowed deeper under the blanket she had covering her and waited.
"Gin? You there?"
A minute later she could breathe again when she heard him move away from the door and the familiar sounds of Draco moving about his flat wafted across the hall. She knew he'd left his door open; he always did when he got home first.
Ginny could track the movement across the hall as clearly as if they were being acted out in front of her. First a minute or two of silence; Draco was changing out of his formal workday robes into something comfortable. And then a conversation trading low baritone muttering with the soprano squeaks of his house elf Dribbles; apparently Draco wasn't in a mood to prepare his own meal.
Ginny continued to listen to the activities across the hall, activities she would normally be a part of and she felt as though she were missing something. Gradually, the sounds disappeared and she tried to imagine what was happening now.
There was a knock on her door again, more insistent this time.
"Gin, I flooed your office. They said you came home sick. Are you all right?"
Ginny groaned to herself, he wouldn't go away easily this time.
Sure enough, a second later Draco muttered 'crispy troll toes', a password which he never uttered without rolling his eyes, and the door opened for him.
"Gin? You in here?" he said stepping into the flat and pausing to allow his eyes to adjust to the darkness.
"Yes," she said weakly and without any emotion. He navigated his way through the dimly lit flat until he was standing aside Ginny's couch without standing directly in front of her.
"You alright?"
"I'm fine. I'd like to be alone, just now."
There was something in the tone of her voice which kept Draco from asking any more questions.
"I'll be around, if you need me." Draco slowly closed the door and returned to his own flat. The second the door clicked closed, Ginny was overwhelmed with remorse. Draco hadn't done anything to be treated so coldly.
How could she face him?
How could she not face him?
Without her realizing it, he'd become a large part of her life, and avoiding him wasn't an option.
She groaned and reluctantly padded her way across the hall. Draco's door opened almost before she finished knocking.
"Hi," he said, stepping aside to let her enter.
She didn't go in.
"I wanted to apologize for just now. Neville sent me into a strop today and I have some things to think through."
"Neville?"
"Don't ask."
"Okay."
"I'll make it up to you tomorrow, alright? Dinner? I'll cook."
Draco nodded, the mask of worry lifted from his face. "Good plan."
Ginny smiled wanly.
"'Night then."
"'Night Ginny."
Ginny returned to her own flat to try to sort through her own feelings. Why was it so hard for her to think about Draco romantically? They'd been friends for so long. It had been over four years since she'd tucked those feelings away. Were they still there? Even so, what they had in the past was immature teenaged lust, wasn't it? Had new feelings grown over the past several months? Why couldn't these things ever be simple for her?
After a long and restless night Ginny didn't have many answers, but she had a plan.
The next day Ginny was giddy from the moment she awoke. She floated through her day at the hospital, raising eyebrows wherever she went. Neville was impossibly smug all day, so she avoided him as much as possible.
Suddenly, it seemed as if everything reminded her of Draco. Everything was funnier because she heard his snarky comments in her mind. Memories began flooding back… there were so many signs over the past months. How could she have missed them?
That next evening, Ginny arrived home first and was already preparing dinner in Draco's flat when he arrived.
"Oh good, I'm glad you let yourself in. Sorry I'm late."
"No problem." Ginny smiled and held his gaze for a beat or two longer than she normally would.
Draco returned her gaze, but crinkled his brow a bit. There was something about her expression that made him feel as though he'd missed a joke or something.
"You feeling better?" he asked.
"Perfect, thank you," Ginny nodded, still grinning in a very disconcerting way.
"Gimme a minute." Draco disappeared into his room to change and then quickly returned to the kitchen.
"Can I help?"
"Well, if you do it manually and not magically, you can slice that tomato."
"One little slip of the wand and a bloke is never forgiven," he grumbled as he began to slice the red plum tomato Ginny had put aside for him.
"You nearly took off my fingers that time! So stop pouting and slice."
"I would have put them back on," he continued to grumble until he finished slicing. "Okay, now what?"
"Hmm…" Ginny pondered as she sautéed chicken cutlets. You could chiffinade that fresh basil."
"Huh?"
"Cut the leaves into pretty little ribbons. First pile them up, and then roll them, and then slice them very thinly."
Ginny stood very close to him and slowly guided his hands through the task. She smirked when she noted the pink tinge blooming on the edge of his ears; otherwise he seemed completely unaffected by her touch.
"No, not like that! You'll cut yourself." Ginny gently covered each of his fingers with one of her own and bent them in the proper position, before he resumed chopping. Of course, as she did this she couldn't help but press her breast against Draco's upper arm. Draco's ears went into full bloom and overflowed onto his cheeks.
The uncomfortable hitch in Draco's breathing confirmed that his feelings ran far deeper than he revealed to her.
There was a palpable shift in mood between them and the cramped kitchen was distressingly warm, but neither of them moved.
"That's good," Ginny said breathlessly as he finished chopping.
"All this for a salad?" he gulped, as though suddenly realizing that there was more than cooking going on.
"Yes," she whispered, meeting his gaze and hoping he could see in her eyes everything for which there were no words.
"You bought the cheese I like?" he asked, stepping even closer and cradling her cheek in his hand.
"Of course," she shuddered at the feeling of is thumb etching the ridge of her jaw line. Her eyes closed and she leaned into his touch.
Draco's eyes lit up at her reaction to his touch.
"What else are we having?" he whispered lowering his head until his forehead rested against hers and he too closed is eyes.
"Chicken piccata over pasta," Ginny admitted softly, raising her head just until her nose was gently caressing his. It was mind-boggling how such a simple caress could be felt all the way to her toes.
"You're making all my favorites," he said barely audibly. "If you tell me we're having warm brownies with vanilla ice cream for dessert, my life will be complete."
Ginny could feel the breath of his words against her lips. Her lips parted as she breathed him in and prayed for contact. She didn't answer his question, she just groped around until she found the door to the nearby oven and opened it, allowing the scent of chocolate to waft in their direction.
"What have I done to deserve this bounty?" As he spoke his free hand had worked its way to her waist and was slowly exploring her curves.
"You're an easy man to please, Draco Malfoy."
"Actually, I'm not," he murmured.
"Maybe you could let me try," Ginny couldn't wait a moment longer, she stretched her head up the tiniest bit and her lips were touching his. The warmth of them sent a tingle straight to her toes.
After the briefest hesitation Draco returned her kiss just as tenderly, and before his mind could step in and take control of the situation, his body had deepened his kiss. He couldn't help but notice that every taste and sensation was both new and familiar, as if he were returning to a point in his past, full of memories which had actually never left him. But as with all things, time had altered both of them and there were new tastes and sensations to explore.
Draco had no idea how chopping herbs had turned into a kiss but he wasn't about to complain and by the time his mind had found its footing once again he realized, that he'd hoisted Ginny onto the chopping table to bring her to his level. Her legs were wrapped around him, holding him close as he kissed his way around her neck and his hands made their way to the buttons of her blouse. It was the coordination necessary to unbutton the garment which snapped Draco back to reality.
"Ginny," he said, reluctantly pulling away.
"Hmmm?" she hummed, still enveloped in the happy stupor his kisses had induced.
"I want something..."
"Okay," she said agreeably.
"I'm not sure what just happened here, but what I want is to go slowly."
"What do you mean?"
Draco disentangled himself from her legs and returned Ginny to her feet.
"I think we should eat dinner," he said with certainty.
Ginny tried, but she couldn't hide the disappointment which crossed her face, so she turned away from him to assemble their dinner.
"Okay," she mumbled into the sautéed chicken.
"Hey," Draco whispered, spinning her back towards him and planting another passionate and reassuring kiss on her hungry lips. Draco was unsure of how he should proceed, but he knew his self-control with Ginny was fragile and he didn't want to destroy weeks of careful planning and restraint on his part. Not that he'd been willfully manipulating Ginny into his arms over the past months; he'd just been making a heroic effort to lessen the pain of her heartbreak, a mission in which he had succeeded beyond his dreams, before re-igniting the old flames with Ginny.
"I just need to know you're sure this is what you want… and I'm hungry," he smirked.
"Okay," she agreed because she really couldn't blame him; she did ambush him in the middle of dinner preparation. And truth be told, she was still getting used to the idea herself.
After a few minutes of only moderately uncomfortable silence, they fell into their usual dinnertime banter. At the table they sat closer than normal, but physical contact was once again limited. Occasionally, Draco would punctuate a story he was telling her with a soft caress on her wrist. He made the contact seem completely unintentional as he concentrated on his food and the conversation, but she knew better and each touch sent shivers to her core. He definitely knew it too.
At the end of their meal Ginny took an opportunity to study Draco closely as he ate his pudding; Draco always went into a sort of transcendent state while eating chocolate.
It's odd isn't it? How one stops noticing the details of the people closest to us. In Ginny's mind, the image of Draco was still a teenager, thin and pointy, with the frame whose body hadn't quite kept up with the speed of its own growth, and a personality full of bluster and attitude. But the person before her was a man fully grown, aside from a six-year-old's appreciation for sweets of course. His face had filled in, sharp points replaced with chiseled angles, and the bluster in his attitude had been replaced with a serene confidence. But it was his eyes which fascinated Ginny the most: those eyes which were usually guarded and cautious, were at this moment… well, Ginny didn't know what she saw, but she felt as if she could stare into his eyes forever until she figured it out.
"You finished with this?" Draco asked, while scooping up the last bit of Ginny's pudding and swallowing it before she could protest.
"Brothers have had their hands impaled on my fork for less than that, you know."
"I guess you're getting slow in your old age," he chuckled, while pulling her away from the table and towards the sitting nook in the next room. The two of them usually sat on opposite ends of the sofa with a vast expanse of cushion between them, that cushion usually covered with Ginny's medical journals and Draco's parchments and portfolios. But before Ginny could move to her usual spot she found herself tugged downwards and nestled onto Draco's lap. The sudden full body contact knocked the breath out of her momentarily and she found her hand resting against Draco chest; it too was no longer the chest of a teenager. As she felt the outline of a well defined torso against her own, she couldn't prevent her mind from wondering about what lay beneath his neat button down shirt. And then there were those eyes again, those piercing silver eyes which were now inches away from hers.
"This is cosy," Draco whispered, seeming just as shaken by the sudden intimacy as Ginny.
"Yes," she agreed.
"What were you saying?" he asked trying to return a bit of normalcy to the situation, when in truth he was having trouble keeping himself in check, but needing to be close to her, if only for a moment.
"Hmm? When?" she asked in a haze.
"Just now at the table, you were saying something funny happened at work today."
"Yes! Neville made up a new game."
"Oh, this should be riveting! Do go on," he said in his snarkiest drawl.
Ginny swatted him on the shoulder and twisted around to reach her wand, tucked away in a side pocket of her cloak. Draco grimaced at both the pleasure and the pain her squirming caused.
"Shush, and watch," she scolded as she swiftly scanned the room until she spied a pile of small kindling wood next to the cold hearth.
"We use glass test vials at the hospital, of course, but this will do." She levitated the sticks into the air and formed them into a tent-like pile.
Draco grinned at Ginny's face all puckered in concentration… it was adorable.
"Now, the objective is to keep the wood levitated while removing one stick at a time. The wizard who removes the most sticks before they crumble, wins." Ginny began to slowly remove one stick at a time.
"Fascinating," he drawled. "I'm glad to see the wizarding community's funds are being put to such good use by our top researchers."
"Shush," she scolded, removing a third stick, her face even more intense than before.
Draco found her irresistible.
"I don't suppose you've incorporated the element of distraction into the game, have you?" he asked in a bored tone.
"How do you mean?" she snapped, unwilling to break her concentration. But almost before she could ask the question Draco's hand had moved from her hip to her breast and one of his fingers, ever so lightly, fluttered over her nipple.
Ginny's shriek was quickly followed by a blur of events. The kindling clattered to the ground. She twisted around on his lap in a half-hearted attempt to beat him senseless. Draco, in an attempt to both subdue the attack and prevent damage to himself from her wriggling on his lap was forced to dislodge himself from underneath her and pin her to the sofa.
Within seconds Draco found himself in a much dreamed of, and yet difficult situation.
Ginny's eyes went very round as she felt Draco's weight settle on top of her, their bellies expanded and contracted together with excited breath.
Draco was at a loss to contain himself any longer as his lips found the delicate skin of her neck and began to suckle. He was overwhelmed with a need to possess her and to mark her as his. Ginny's hands found their way under his crisp shirt and her fingernails reciprocated the ecstatic pain he was causing to her neck.
Control was spiralling away from both of them.
"If that had happened at work you'd be responsible for the wanton destruction of hospital property," Ginny moaned helplessly into his ear as his tongue soothed a well-loved spot of her neck.
"Mmmm," he groaned, his hips grinding into her, he was helpless to stop them. "I'll have to remember that little game next time the hospital directors come 'round, begging for Galleons for their precious research. It's informative to know how my money is spent."
Ginny's hips rose to meet Draco's and she sighed at the exquisite pleasure the contact produced. "I always forget that about you," she breathed.
"What's that?" he asked, his attention moving lower as he unfastened the first few buttons of Ginny's blouse and he delved beneath the cloth.
"Aaah," she sighed. "That you're Draco Malfoy, eighth richest wizard in the world."
Draco's face rose from Ginny's bosom, he was slightly disappointed not to find a bra with a front clasp, as it meant further exploration would have to wait. "Actually I think I'm fifth now," he added, migrating back to her neck and jaw. "Not that I pay mind to such silliness and minor technicalities."
"Of course not." It was now Ginny's turn to run her tongue along his sharp jaw line and suckle the tender skin below. "It would be in poor taste to notice such things."
"Quite."
The conversation ceased when his mouth plundered hers, all sense of time was lost as they continued to explore one another. It was thrilling, and yet all so familiar.
"Draco, wait," Ginny resurfaced sometime later with a breathless gasp.
Draco pulled himself away and sat up with difficulty.
"I'm sorry. We said slowly, didn't we? I'll stop."
Ginny pulled herself upright, and straightened her blouse which was now completely undone.
"No, I just think it's time for bed," Ginny said, rising and backing away slowly.
Draco nodded numbly and began refastening his own shirt while trying to catch his breath.
"Okay, well, er… good night, Ginny."
Ginny rose, but instead of escaping to her own flat she paused by the door next to the hearth.
"Draco?"
He looked up in time to see Ginny slip through his bedroom door. Draco stared for a moment trying, to calculate exactly when he'd lost control of the situation.
Through that door was the answer to his every dream. However, deep in his soul he couldn't quell the fear that he could never possess her in the way he needed and wanted to; she didn't belong to him and never would. Letting himself go down this road would surely lead to heartbreak."
In spite of the voices in his head screaming their warnings, he quickly followed her through the door.
The room was ablaze with candlelight when he entered. He momentarily wondered where the plethora of candles came from; Draco preferred other means of lighting. But his contemplation was quickly forgotten at the first sight of Ginny in the shadows, she had already discarded her skirt and she stood glowing amongst the candles, her blouse still fully open.
"What happened to going slowly?" Draco asked, his voice full of confidence which he was not feeling.
Ginny smiled wanly and stalked towards him.
"I want to go slowly," she whispered. "I want to go so slowly it takes all night."
Draco was doomed, he knew that.
He couldn't tear his eyes off of her as she shed her blouse before him and she liberated him of his shirt as well. The maturing process had been very kind to Ginny… what were once generous teenaged curves had ripened into womanhood. Her full breasts and hips, contrasting with her impossibly small waist. made her look more like a painting than flesh and blood standing before the bed, inches away.
Draco had always believed that possession of good taste always required a mastery of restraint but the vision of lush excess that was Ginny Weasley's body, which bordered on sinful, was an exception he was prepared to make.
"Do you mind?" she turned, offering him the bra clasp at her back. Draco fingered the clasp open with speed and expertise, and it fell to the floor as well, forgotten. His hand on her shoulder prevented her from turning back around as his eyes focused on her left shoulder blade.
"It's still here," he whispered, his fingers tracing the pattern in her freckles which illustrated the constellation whose name he bore. He remembered the day he discovered his namesake on her back and he chuckled at his boyish command that no one else was to kiss her there. The thought crossed his mind to ask her if she had honoured his request, but no, of course she hadn't and of course he wouldn't ask.
His lips sank to her back, kissing each freckle in the pattern and tracing them with his tongue. Events became a blur and at some point Ginny turned to face him and her luscious breasts became the new focus of his attention. Draco fell to his knees before her kissing his way down her body, ripping the bit of silk at her waist until she was fully revealed to him. He was desperate for one thing, he needed to hear her scream his name.
Ginny's knees finally collapsed from the assault of Draco's intensity and she melted helpless onto the bed, enabling Draco even deeper access to reach his goal. He wasn't disappointed and soon she was keening his name with a desperate plea for him to never stop. He'd clearly honed his technique since that night at the Three Broomsticks.
Ginny was trembling, the aftershocks of her ecstasy still wracking her body as Draco kissed his way back up her torso and kissed her softly upon his return to her lips. Her hands quickly found their way to the hardness in his trousers… her touch very nearly sending him over the edge as she moved to the button at his waist.
"Ginny," he warned, "those buttons are the only things between me and disaster; you're a rather simulating woman."
"Draco, please," she pled desperately.
Draco knew a command when he heard one and Ginny was the one person gladly obeyed. He shed himself of his remaining clothes and positioned himself above her.
Their eyes never broke contact as the long-awaited realization of the completion of their union passed between them.
Hours later the candles had all been snuffed into melted wax, and each sigh and cry had faded into a sated and peaceful sleep. Before succumbing, Ginny was reminded of the day when she'd discovered that Draco Malfoy was a breast man and a cuddler, as he nestled his face into her neck and reached up to cup her breast in an almost possessive gesture.
Draco's final thought before slumber seduced him was that he couldn't possibly get enough of this woman.
November 2005
"Hermione? You alright?" Ginny asked with a smirk.
Hermione's teacup was dripping down her lap as she gaped at Ginny's story.
"Whoa, that was…"
"I know."
"You reminded me of something," Hermione laughed. "Last month, I was at The Pampered Witch having a pedicure and ankle potion, trying to get the swelling down a bit, and there were two witches sitting next to me, talking about you."
"About me? Why would anyone talk about me?"
"Didn't you see? There was a new article in The Daily Prophet. After all this time, Rita Skeeter had found some lame reason to rehash a story about you and Harry and Draco. Most of it was barely true, of course, but it still got those women talking!"
"What were they saying?" Ginny asked, not sure whether she was horrified or amused. She'd never gotten used to being the subject of gossip fodder.
"Well… they were… erm… comparing… Harry and Draco… and saying how lucky you were to be the only witch in the world to have… erm… you know… both of them," Hermione squeaked. She could hardly get the words out of her mouth.
"WHAT? This is in the middle of a beauty salon in the middle of the day?" she shrieked.
"Yes! It got quite juicy too!"
"Oh Merlin!"
"Think about it, Ginny. It is intriguing, the richest and most powerful wizard in the world compared to Harry Potter who is…well, Harry Potter. It's enough to peak even my curiosity, and I've certainly never been interested in either of them in that way!"
"I'm afraid to ask, but what exactly are you curious about, Hermione?" Ginny asked with a grimace.
"You know…"
"No, afraid I don't," Ginny said, knowing exactly what she wanted, and daring her to ask.
Hermione shrugged naughtily. "You know! Who's better?"
"Hermione!" Ginny laughed. It felt so good to laugh; she didn't do it often enough anymore.
"Come on, Gin. Please? Have pity on a poor pregnant witch who's only ever been with one wizard. Not that I have any complaints about Ron…"
"Stop! No details!"
"Please, Gin?"
"Merlin!" Ginny groaned.
Hermione leaned in expectantly, the naughty twinkle in her eyes growing by the second.
"It depends what you're in the mood for I suppose," Ginny finally answered.
"What does that mean?"
"Well, they're different, very different."
"Like?" Hermione prodded.
"Draco's… very intense and very thorough. He made me feel as if I was the center of his universe, as if I was the air he breathed. He made me feel worshipped. Sometimes when he made love to me… he would completely let his guard down… he seemed so vulnerable and fragile. Of course it wasn't at all true, obviously, but that's how it felt."
Hermione watched Ginny's continence change as she spoke; it was obvious there was a deep sadness in her aching to be released.
"Ginny what happened there? It's like part of you died when it ended."
Ginny ignored Hermione's query and continued on her current train of thought.
"With Harry," she continued brightly. "I don't believe I'm telling you this… Harry's… well, he's fun! The man's a carnival ride… he'll try anything… twice… and then backwards."
"Harry?" Hermione asked, beginning to regret her question.
"Yes! There's always a lot of laughter when Harry and I make love. And he keeps getting better with age. I swear he has more imagination now than he did when he was seventeen!"
"Now?" Hermione shrieked her teacup shattering on the floor. "Now? Ginny are you and Harry together?"
Ginny groaned when she realized her slip. She uttered a quick Reparo charm, and tried to cover her tracks. "No, Hermione. It's not like that. Not really."
"Ginny?" Hermione growled.
"Harry and I have always found comfort in each other. And over the years we've gotten very good at being both lovers and friends." Ginny admitted reluctantly.
"Ginny, you and Harry, that's wonderful!" Hermione squealed.
"Hermione, you're not to breathe a word of this to anyone! But now that Harry's leaving his post as an active Auror and taking a position in training and recruitment, we've been revisiting our relationship, trying to decide once and for all if we have a future as a couple. Harry asked me to marry him…"
"Ginny! I'm so glad!"
"Hermione…"
"And this has something to do with why he's with Malfoy? I hope he doesn't do anything foolish."
"Hermione, wait…" Ginny quietly kicked herself for revealing too much about her relationship with Harry, she knew that all Hermione had heard was that she and Harry were together. Hermione had heard what she wanted to hear, nothing had changed. There was no point in explaining further and she was glad when the subject changed.
"Ginny, please, I feel like I'm missing a huge piece of the puzzle. Tell me what went wrong with you and Draco."
"I don't really know. Maybe we went wrong right from the beginning. We never defined our relationship. We never put a label on it. We never talked about our future together. We just grew together.
"Draco decided he wanted a larger flat, so he moved to the penthouse and he asked me to help decorate and make it homier than his previous flat. By then, we were spending every night together and although I never officially moved out of my own flat, everything I owned was in Draco's flat. I even had my pictures on his walls. We got Faustus as tiny little puppy, that first Christmas in the penthouse.
"Just a few months later Harry started coming around again; Harry and I can't not be friends. But Draco didn't seem to mind.
"Maybe I assumed too much. I assumed Draco was as happy as I was. I assumed we'd stay together.
"Time flew by, before I realized almost three years had past. And then it ended."
"Ginny, I don't think it works that way," Hermione was baffled. "You don't go from happily-ever-after one day to broken-up the next."
"We did."
"How?"
Ginny shrugged. "Draco had been acting strangely for a few days, all nervous and jumpy, very un-Draco-like. I thought it was cute. I thought he was working up the courage to ask me to marry him."
"But he didn't?"
"No, one morning he kissed me more passionately than usual and went to work. That was the last time I spoke to him. It was Friday, April 16th."
"What do you mean that's the last time you spoke to him? Then what happened?"
"Hermione, I've never told anyone this, not even Harry… especially not Harry."
As Ginny continued to speak, her voice became softer and more distant, but quite detached, as though she were talking about someone else.
"I went to the hospital. In the afternoon I got a visit from one of Malfoy Holding's solicitors. No one I'd ever seen before. He requested I accompany him, and so I did. I assumed we were going to Draco's office but instead, he brought me here, to this cottage. He told me that Draco had requested I vacate the penthouse and that this cottage was mine. He said that Draco wished to sever all ties and that I shouldn't try to contact him. My belongings had already been moved here, Faustus was here, Dribbles was here."
"Wait! I don't understand. Why would he do that?" Ginny shrugged. "No one would do that!" Hermione gasped. "Why didn't you tell anyone?"
"I didn't believe it at first either; I thought it was some sort of terrible joke. And then I got angry and tried to contact him, but he was out of the country. I was numb for such a long time; I couldn't even muster enough energy to burn down this house."
"That bloody coward! I'll kill him!" Hermione spat.
"And then, days later, I was too ashamed to say anything."
"Ashamed? What did you have to be ashamed of?"
"I don't know. I wasn't thinking clearly."
"I wish you'd come to us, Ginny! I can't believe you went through this alone!"
Ginny shook her head. "I couldn't take it. I couldn't withstand the ranting from all of you about how many ways Draco would die. I couldn't take the piteous stares, like you're giving me now."
"Ginny, don't you see what he did to you? It's terrible! He didn't even face you! It's unforgivable!"
"I know."
Authors Notes:
We're making some progress now!
Lots of answers in the next chappie!
We're going back to the drunken twits in the prologue in the next chapter! ('Bout time!)
Big thanks to Jocjarmom for the beta and cheerleading. Don't forget to check out her story 'Between Fantasy and Reality' on Checkmated.