Chapter Eight

After having woken woke up a few hours later, Trip walked down the corridors and felt embarrassed at how he had acted towards Captain Archer. Phlox had told him to go to the mess hall and to get some nourishment, but Trip felt it was more appropriate to apologise to his friend and Captain.

So he went to his ready room instead. Just now, he pressed the comm button on the outside of the door, and wiped his hand nervously through his already tousled hair.

"Enter."

"Have ya got a minute, Sir?"

"Sure, sit down, Trip," Archer replied, a little apprehensive as he indicated to the nearby chair. "What can I do for you?"

"I ……. I want to apologise for what I said earlier. I don't know what got into me … Damn, I do know what got into me, hormones raging you know … but that's not what I meant."

"Don't worry about it, Trip, I understand."

"No … Hell, I had no right to say those things. I didn't mean what I said – I don't think your naïve or a monster."

"Maybe not a monster," Archer replied, thoughtfully, "but you were right about one thing: I gave the order to grow a sentient being, to use him for our own purpose, and then I stood by and watched him die."

"You had a huge weight on your shoulders, saving Earth and all.

"Would you have done the same thing if you had been in my position?" asked Archer.

"No," Trip replied. Then after a little time thinking, he mumbled: "Hell I don't know … desperate times call for desperate measures."

"They sure do," replied Archer, thinking back to their mission last year.

"That's kinda why I'm not angry at what Trevella and Allion did. It seems like they might have been in the same no win situation. I'm not saying what they did was right, just that maybe their situation was pretty bleak and that they had no other option left open to them?"

"I don't think it's quite the same, but I can see you're reasoning behind it," replied Archer, glad that he and Trip were finally laying their cards out on the table.

"So there could be some truth to what they said about how going back could endanger us and their mission," Trip said, pressing his hand to his side, indicating the child inside him.

"Yes, there could be, but I can't just lie down and take what they said at face value without looking at the greater whole," Archer said as he came nearer to Trip and perched beside him on the table. We don't even know if we can trust these Guardians; I'm not happy putting the ship into danger on the trust of two people who we know are liars."

"I understand that, Capt'n," Trip replied, feeling his emotions begin to overwhelm him again, "but I have to think about her now. I couldn't do anything to stop it or prevent it, when Elizabeth died. I didn't know her long, but it still hurt … a lot. I won't let that happen again -- this child's just an innocent pawn in everything, and you can be damned sure I'm gonna protect her and make sure she's safe. I can't do that, though, if you go against their wishes! I have to trust them that they have her interests at heart. It just feels like we're flying blindly into danger."

Trip hesitated for a moment. "Damned hormones!" he muttered quietly as tears began to well up in his eyes."

"Hey," said Archer suddenly as he grabbed Trip in a giant bear hug. "It's going to be all right … You can be damned sure we'll all make sure she's safe; you're not alone in this."

"Ya serious about that?" asked Trip, wiping his damp eyes.

"Yes!"

"Well, in that case you all can have a share of these damned hormones that are soaring outta control. There's nausea, tiredness …"

"Smart ass," laughed Archer, shaking his head as he rubbed Trip's back protectively, not hearing the comm buzz outside his ready room.

Travis walked inside, eyeing the scene between his two Commanding Officers. "Just came to give you a navigation update, Sir. T'Pol thinks we'll intercept the Daladian ship in about four days. Their warp signature seems to be getting stronger, which would indicate that they aren't going anywhere near their top speed, or that they've stopped."

"Thanks, Travis," replied Captain Archer as Trip threw him a concerned look. Archer decided it was time to take Trip's mind off the subject. He took the pad Travis handed him, and focused his thoughts on a game plan of distraction, while Trip turned away, slightly embarrassed, trying to hide his red rimmed eyes.

"Is Commander Tucker okay?"

"He's fine, Travis," replied Archer and guiding the younger man out of the room. "Why don't you go and relieve Davis on the bridge? I believe his shift is nearly finishing."

"Damn, that's gonna get the rumour mill flowing again," Trip said.

"Shouldn't be anything new to you my friend," laughed Archer affectionly. "Come on, let's go and watch a movie and relax."

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Later the next morning, Trip was in the mess hall reading some engineering reports, trying to take his mind off his queasy stomach.

"Mind if I join you?" asked Malcolm, walking up with a plate of scrambled eggs and toast.

"Sure," replied Trip, averting his eyes from Malcolm's full breakfast plate. "Great, just what I need right now. The sight of food …"

"Feeling okay?"

"What do ya mean?" asked Trip as he covered his mouth with his hand and tried to think calming thoughts that would tame the powerful urges in his stomach.

"Travis said you look kind of upset yesterday, I just wondered if you were feeling all right." Malcolm said as he tuckered into his food, enjoying it immensely.

"I'm fine."

"Well you have been kinda moody lately, flying off the hand and all. Come to think of it, you look kinda green around the edges--"

"Sorry!" Trip interrupted. He jumped off his chair, mumbled a quick "I gotta go somewhere," into Malcolm's direction, and started running for the bathroom nearby.

"Odd." thought Malcolm as he pushed his plate to the side. He stood up and went to after Trip to see whether he was okay. It just took one look at his friend's pale face, as he flushed the toilet and dabbed cold water onto his face. "Come on, Trip. We're going to see Phlox. You are anything but fine."

"Just give me a sec, will ya?" replied Trip. He took some deep breaths while Malcolm handed him a towel. "There's no need to see Phlox, not much he can do anyway."

"What's going on, Trip? You look all full. You're obviously sick, you look worn out, and you've been more emotional than my Aunt Fanny these last couple of days. Put that together with us looking for the Daladian ship again, for reasons that the Captain and Commander T'Pol won't let on, and it's Deja Vu the Xyrillians all over again," joked Malcolm, not realising how close to the actual truth he actually was. Yet, as he looked over at Trip, a warning bell began to ring in his head. "Did something happen on that ship, Trip?"

Looking over at Malcolm, Trip realised that he couldn't lie anymore, especially not to a good friend. "Come on, let's go and sit down. I'll tell ya all about it while you finish your breakfast. You look like you need a good laugh to start your day anyway."

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