Chapter Twelve

Nearly three weeks had gone by since Enterprise had left the Daladian ship and headed off on their new course to find the Guardians. They hadn't come into any contact with anyone during this time, and tensions were finally beginning to ease.

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Trip stood standing outside the entrance of a huge dark cavern. All around him the atmosphere was eerie and foreboding. He felt frightened, scared, and trapped. He didn't want to go inside because he feared what he would find, but he couldn't stay outside either because then they would catch him. Deep down he knew the solution to everything lay inside that cave, but he could feel his fear welling upside him as he tried to pluck up the courage to go inside. Feeling some trepidation, he stepped forward into the all encompassing blackness.

The moment Trip stepped into the cave, he jerked awake.

Just like the previous couple of nights, he was sweating, breathing heavily, and his heart raced ten to the dozen. Standing up with the aim of calming his frayed nerves, he reached over for a t-shirt, and walked out of his room to the mess hall. He hoped a mug of hot milk and some cookies would calm his nerves.

Phlox was the only one in the mess hall when Trip entered. This wasn't unusual; it was in the early hours of the morning, and Denobulans -- unlike Humans -- required little sleep.

"Couldn't sleep again, Commander?" Phlox asked, making more of an unhappy statement than a question. "How many times is that this week?"

"Too damn many," Trip replied. He

sat down next to Phlox, and ran his hand through his hair.

"Do you want to talk about it?" the Denobulan asked.

"Not much to talk about, Doc. I'm just having some weird dreams, that's all."

"Well, I do have a degree+ in psychology; maybe I can help interpret what's troubling you?"

Trip threw Phlox a resigned look at first, but then gave in and told the doctor about the dream he had had for the last several days.

"Well, the cavern could be a representation of the future and of the anxiety you are feeling towards that future -- in regards to your situation at the moment," explained Phlox.

"You mean being pregnant?" answered Trip.

"Yes, having a baby can be a stressful situation for anyone, but I would imagine more so with you being male."

"I don't feel anxious about having this baby," Trip replied.

"In fact, I'm quite looking forward to seeing her," he mused as he stared off into space, causing Phlox to cast him a curious look. After a minute, Trip probed Phlox further about his dream: "What about the monster that's chasing me? I mean, it's silly, I've not been frightened of monsters under my bed since I was 5 years old."

"They could be a representation of your subconscious fears,"

probed Phlox.

"Geez, what could I be worried about at the moment?" Trip replied in a sarcastic tone of voice.

"We're running away from brutal killers. Seems quite normal to me."

Phlox didn't quite catch on to Trip's tone, so he carried on. "Are you concerned about the Daladian attackers finding us?"

"It's been a little over 3 weeks, and we haven't seen anyone, so I'm feeling a bit less on edge. I'll be a lot better when we can get in contact with these Guardians though."

Phlox tried another track, "How are you and T'Pol getting on? You seem to be quite close."

"We're fine, and that is all I'm saying on that subject, Doc."

Taking the hint, Phlox asked another question that could be at the root of Trip's sleeplessness. "Are you worried about what the crew is thinking?"

"I was at first," Trip explained. "Especially, after people started catching on that I couldn't fit into my uniform anymore, and when she started showing through the clothes. But I've kinda got used to the funny looks and stares. It just kinda annoys me when I catch slight sniggers behind ma back."

"Has there been much of that, Commander?"

"No, at least not within my earshot," Trip said as he slowly sipped his hot milk. "There was an incident with two stewards a while back, who didn't realize we could hear them when me, Mal and Kelby were grabbing a coffee break.

Stupidly, I got a bit upset and had to leave quickly."

"That's understandable," Phlox comforted.

"Understandable yeah, but still embarrassing. Anyway, while I was trying to convince Mal to not go back and shoot them, Kelby went back and racked them over the coals. He also went and told Chef what had happened, so Chef gave them a roasting also. He had them scrubbing his ovens for the last two weeks with a toothbrush," Trip answered,

shaking his head in surprise.

"You sound surprised."

"I am a bit," exclaimed Trip, "especially after the problems me and Kelby had over the loss of his promotion when I came back from the Columbia. I thought he'd be at the head of the queue in those thinking I'm the laughing stock of the ship."

"You have a lot more friends than you realize, Commander.

Don't ever forget that." Trip just smiled and carried on sipping his drink. "So," exclaimed Phlox, getting back to solving the problem, "are you worried in any way about the child?"

"No," Trip said warily, and then turned the question back on him. "She's healthy enough, isn't she?"

"Very healthy ... and growing fast!" Phlox confirmed.

"Yeah, I know," chuckled Trip, "scared the Capt'n half to death the other night, when I felt her kick. ... Come to think about it, it gave me a shock as well. I didn't realize it would hurt that much."

"Considering you are only about six weeks gone, she is developing at an exponential rate," remarked Phlox, as he watched Trip cover his 'bulge' in a protective manner. "The data T'Pol downloaded from the Daladian ship doesn't infer that this is a natural occurrence for their species, so I have to assume that the rapid growth was genetically coded into the embryo."

Trip didn't look like he was too interested in this train of talk, so Phlox decided to pry deeper into how Trip was feeling. From Trip's whole demeanor and manner regarding the child, he was beginning to suspect that Trip's feelings for the child ran a lot deeper than he was letting on. "Have you given much thought to what's going to happen when we contact these Guardians?"

"What's to think about," replied Trip, in an evasive manner.

"They're gonna transfer her to one of their kind and I'll be free to get on with ma life again."

"How do you feel about that?"

"I feel happy that we've been able to help saving her life," Trip replied, looking everywhere else in the room apart from the one person he was trying to convince. "Anyway, thanks for the chat, Doc, but I'm gonna try and hit the sack again. I think this milk an cookies have finally hit the spot."

"I want to see you in sickbay before your shift starts tomorrow, Commander. Don't forget your regular check up," Phlox reminded him when Trip stood up and walked to the door.

"Sure thing, Doc. Night," waved Trip as he walked out of the room.

"Night," replied Phlox quietly, deep in thought. He was growing quite concerned. Commander Tucker had gone through a lot this year. For the last six months, he had had to deal with the loss of his and T'Pol's child, and this loss had strained their relationship badly. Now, Trip had been violated, and had become pregnant with an alien child because of it. Phlox was concerned that this would drive Trip over the edge. The Commander had accepted unexpectedly the fact with little complaint or worry -- a little too easily, Phlox thought. That may or may not be a bad thing itself, but if Trip still carried some deep issues concerning the loss of Elizabeth, it would make the exchange of this child with the Guardians a lot harder for him to handle on an emotional level. Phlox was praying that it wouldn't be the last card in the deck that would bring the whole house tumbling down.

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