Nick Stokes was officially trying to kill him. There was no other explanation as to why Nick thought it would be a good idea to get all intimate in the middle of a glass fish tank (the lab). There were just some things you shouldn't do in public, and making a coworker moan under your hands is definitely one of them. Especially when you were going to be called in to do an evaluation with your boss before anything could happen.

"Hodges, why are you hitting your head on the table?"

"Because Bobby wouldn't let me borrow a gun."

Archie arched an eyebrow before saying, "Does this have anything to do with the near pornographic display that took place here earlier with a certain CSI?"

"Pornographic display?"

"Jacqui's words, not mine."

He sighed, "Jacqui…why does that not surprise me?"

"choSuvchugh 'oy'lIj Daghur neH."

"What?"

"Rejmorgh SoHchugh vaj yInlIj ghur'a'?"

"Is that? No, you wouldn't." Pause. "You would…Klingon. Great time to test my memory. Uh, jIyajbe'."

"val."

"Archie…"

"Struggling only makes it hurt more. If you are a worrywart, will your life lengthen? And be clever. In that order, as presented in The Klingon Dictionary."

"How does that apply to me at all?"

Archie blinks. "It doesn't really… I just think you should stop worrying and I really like Klingon."

"If you start spouting out binary code, you're dead, because it's bad enough that you made me remember that convention you dragged me to."

"Hey Archie, Hodges."

He hits his head on the table with a thunk, "And my day just worsened."

"Now, is that any way to talk to a friend who happens to know just who it was that ate the last machine candy bar?"

Archie gaped, "That was you? Jacqui shunned poor Bobby for a week and it was you?"

He rolled his eyes and said, "No, you're hallucinating again."

"That would explain why Nick Stokes is waiting in the doorway for you."

He froze and turned to see Nick standing there, shuffling papers slightly, and wearing a small smile. He smiled back and started forward without even thinking about it, and grimaced as soon as Greg and Archie exchanged knowing glances and left. He knew that his two friends were not really leaving, they were probably hiding around the corner waiting to hear something. They would then tell Jacqui anything they heard and she would tell everyone else.

"Qu'vatlh…" He muttered darkly.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, uh…nothing."

He could swear he heard laughing as he turned the corner with Nick, but tried to ignore it in hopes that he was wrong and Archie hadn't understood him. He would hate to have to explain to everyone why he knew how to swear in Klingon.

Archie called out, "nIch!" and laughed along with Greg.

Yep, He and Nick were going to be the talk of the lab, nIch meant ammunition. Tune in next time for 'as the lab turns.'

tbc...