New World, Old Ghosts
By AquilaDisclaimer: I own nothing related to Dark Angel, just the thoughts in my head.
Rating: PG-13
Email:
Archiving: I'd be flattered, but please ask first.
Summary: Max and Logan come to the aid of a beleaguered cousin, while dealing with their own issues.
Spoilers: Post-Female Trouble. I had someone point out to me that my stories seem like chapters in a larger work and in a way I guess they are. They basically go in chronological order. You can read them in the order of Unfinished, Pas de Deux, Walking on Water and this one, filling in the blanks with the show. However all of the stories stand just fine on their own.
Author's Notes: Well, once again, my muse got away from me. I had intended for this to be the last chapter, but when I hit page 13 with no immediate end in sight, I decided that I needed to break it up and take pity on you incredibly dedicated readers and post this. Also, I was promised Christmas carols if I managed to get this up in time for the holidays. I do sincerely apologize for taking so long between chapters, but with all my other obligations, my more fun writing often gets relegated to the back burner. A few stats to consider though: This story was started over 4 years ago. It's currently over 80 pages long. At over 40,000 words, it's twice as long as my Master's thesis. I know I've said this before, but chapter 9 will be the end and I hope to get it out in less than a year's time. This hasn't been thoroughly beta'd, so any mistakes are mine. Thanks again to everyone who has stuck this story out. Your tenacity is humbling. You might want to skim the previous chapters if you haven't read this in a long time. I make a few references.
A special thanks as always to Joy and Chris for being such good friends and always helping with my writing. Thanks to Mom for teaching me grammar. Thanks to Keri for gently pushing this story along. I promise I WILL finish it.
Chapter 8
The first rays of dawn slid cleanly through the branches, only to be scattered by the mist rising off the lake. A gentle breeze coaxed the gleaming droplets of last night's rain from the still sodden leaves. The night chorus of frogs gave way to the melodic song of a robin. As the sun began its slow ascent to the tops of the trees, the raucous call of a Red-necked Grebe cut through the stillness, waking all who dared to sleep through the sunrise, including Maggie.
Groaning in protest, she burrowed further into the pillows in an attempt to muffle the sound she often likened to a 'gull being strangled.' Only a few hours ago, Maggie had been convinced the night would never end. Her gloved hands had been soaked in blood, as she had shakily clipped away at the net of wires embedded in Max's neck.
Fighting through the haze of pain and fatigue that had threatened to overtake her mind, Maggie had carefully freed the disintegrating bits of copper from the surrounding inflamed tissue. By the time the worst of the implant has been removed and the wound closed up, she had been ready to collapse on the table next to her friend.
Sparing a sleepy glance at the clock, Maggie groaned as her fuzzy eyes made out the numbers six twenty-three. There was no way in hell she was getting up yet. Max was resting relatively comfortably in Logan's bed downstairs. Maggie was pretty sure her cousin was still maintaining his vigil by her bedside, waiting for Max to come out of her healing sleep. She could only hope Logan was getting some sleep himself. They hadn't had time to talk about it, but from the look of the bruises that stood out in stark contrast to his pale skin under the harsh fluorescent lighting, he'd taken quite a beating as well.
Gingerly, Maggie stretched out her legs, wincing as her bruised ribs protested loudly. Extending her toes to the fullest, she smiled as her skin came in contact with warm, soft fur. Otus snored softly among the pile of quilts at the foot of her bed. They'd survived the night. It was going to be O.K.
As she slid back into consciousness the second time, Maggie immediately became aware of two things; the blinding early afternoon sunlight streaming through her window and the sound of music coming from downstairs. Rubbing the last remainders of sleep from her eyes, she very slowly and very carefully pulled herself into a sitting position in an effort to escape the blinding rays her curtains didn't quite manage to deflect.
The bed shook subtly as Otus roused from his slumber at the end of the bed. Turning to face his owner, he greeted Maggie with a soft 'woof' before dropping his head back onto the quilt and letting his eyelids slip closed again. A slow smile graced her lips as Maggie leaned forward to run a comforting hand through his soft fur. Well, it was time for at least one of them to get up.
Getting out of bed proved to be much harder than she had expected. She couldn't stop a grimace from marring her features as every muscle she knew of and a few newly discovered ones screamed in protest as she inched her legs over the side of the bed and shakily stood up. Her stomach threatened to revolt from the pain coursing through her body. Leaning heavily on her nightstand, Maggie willed her digestive tract into submission and smiled grimly.
She'd actually fared pretty well, considering the beating she'd taken last night. Nothing was broken and the cuts and bruises would heal with time. She would just have to remind herself to take it easy until then. Heeding her own advice, Maggie reached for her walking stick, which was propped up by her bed. It had helped her get up the stairs last night; it would get her back down now.
Stopping in the bathroom to freshen up and top up the level of painkillers in her system, Maggie started at the face gazing back at her from the mirror. The bruises had had time to set in overnight. Ligature marks stood out starkly against the pallid skin of her neck. Absently running a finger along the angry purple lines, she fought back the memory of how they got there. Thankfully, sounds from downstairs tugged her out of her dark musings.
Straining her well-trained ears, Maggie smiled in earnest as she identified the source of the music that had woken her earlier.
Logan was singing.
Actually, at the moment, he was humming, but as Maggie carefully began her descent down the stairs, his warm voice started adding words.
"She can kill with a smile
She can wound with her eyes
She can ruin your faith with her casual lies."
Maggie's smile broadened as she recognized the old Billy Joel tune. It had long been one of her favourites.
"And she'll only reveal what she wants you to see.
She hides like a child, but she's always a woman to me."
Though she'd heard them a hundred times and if asked, could recite them by heart, Maggie found herself suddenly struck by the meaning of the lyrics.
"She can leave you to look
She can take you or leave you
She can ask for the truth but she'd never believe you
And she'll take what you give her as long as it's free
Yeah, she steals like a thief, but she's always a woman to me."
As she reached the landing and shuffled quietly to the bedroom at the back of the house, Maggie wondered if Logan realized what he was singing or if he was just seeking release from his worry in any piece of music he could think of. Listening now, she couldn't help but draw the parallels to her cousin's unique relationship with the woman recuperating in the next room. They obviously had been through a lot together, both in the last few days and most likely in the last few months. Maggie paused with her hand on the doorknob as she remembered the argument she had overheard yesterday. From the passion behind their words, it was obvious that there could be so much more to their relationship, if only they would pull their heads up out of the sand.
"Oh… She takes care of herself
She can wait if she wants
She's ahead of her time
Oh… And she never gives out
And she never gives in
She just changes her mind"
Smiling slyly at just how well the lyrics seemed to describe Max, Maggie, carefully turned the knob, hoping to keep the bolt from clicking and potentially disturbing the couple on the other side. Quietly easing the door open, her breath caught as she took in the scene before her. Logan sat, stretched out on the bed, his back against the headboard. Eyes closed, he continued the song, his rich voice filling the room as he cradled an apparently still unconscious Max against his chest. The sunlight filtering through the gingham curtains bathed the couple in a warm, soft light, erasing the hard edges of last night's ordeal. Maggie watched through unshed tears as Logan finished the last refrain.
"She is frequently kind
And she's suddenly cruel.
She can do as she pleases; she's nobody's fool
And she can't be convicted
She earned her degree
And the most she will do is throw shadows at you
But she's always a woman to me."
As Logan hummed the last notes into the stillness, Maggie couldn't help the soft grin that spread across her face in reflection of the warmth spreading through her body at the picture they made. Watery smile still in place, she made herself comfortable against the doorframe, unwilling to break the silent spell that now pervaded the room.
"C'mon in Mags."
Maggie snapped out of her reverie to find her cousin grinning tiredly over the top of Max's curls. Surreptitiously wiping her eyes on her sleeve, she grinned back. Leaning heavily on her walking stick, she pushed herself off the doorframe and moved slowly towards the bed. Logan's eyes clouded with concern as he watched her progress.
"I'll be fine Logan." She started before he could open his mouth to comment. "My body's just coming to terms with the trauma it endured last night. It's nothing that won't heal."
"You should be resting."
"I was until about a half hour ago. I'd be bored stiff lying in bed all day. Besides," she continued, making her way to the far side of the bed. "I needed to check on our patient. How's she doing?"
Logan subconsciously shifted his weight on the bed in an attempt to disentangle himself from the woman sleeping on top of him. He suddenly stopped as he realized he was being ridiculous. He was done pretending. He pulled Max closer as he decided it was exactly what it looked like.
Maggie's lips quirked as she noticed the change in her cousin's demeanour.
"I think that knock on the head last night did you some good."
She laughed outright at his stunned expression. Deciding he had suffered enough abuse over the last few days, she cut him some slack by changing the subject.
"Any signs of waking up?"
Logan shook his head, obviously relieved, but knowing his cousin would only corner him later.
"Nothing yet."
Suddenly, the head leaning on him started to stir.
"O.K., now we have signs."
Maggie came around to the front of the bed, and gingerly sat down near Logan's legs. Gently she clasped the hand that Logan wasn't already holding and began to coax Max into consciousness.
"C'mon Max, you can do it."
"Max, can you hear me?" The depth of yearning in Logan's voice lodged a lump firmly in Maggie's throat.
A slow smile bloomed across Max's face and Maggie couldn't help the relieved chuckle that burst forth.
"I'm getting the feeling that someone's been awake for a while now."
Suddenly, Max's eyelids fluttered and deep brown eyes met grey.
"Hey sleepy-head."
Max's smile spread into a tired grin.
"You were right."
"What's that?"
Maggie spared a glance up at her cousin who was watching Max intently, his eyes glazed with concern. Mindful of her own injuries, Maggie leaned in closer to be sure to catch Max's next words through the sleep-induced gravel.
"You're right. I hadn't lived."
As realization dawned, Maggie answered Max's knowing smile with one of her own. Catching Logan's confused stare, she chuckled.
"Girl talk, Logan. Just girl talk."
Knowing he would never get more of explanation out of either of them, Logan let the comment pass. Instinctively, he pulled Max into a tighter embrace, slipping his hand up to her forehead in search of any remnants of a fever. As his hand made contact with her skin, a wave of awareness washed over him. Until only a few hours ago, they had never been this close, always dancing around each other, advancing and retreating, but rarely ever touching and Logan marvelled at how naturally the intimate gesture came to him.
Clearing his throat in an effort to calm the sudden rise in his heart rate, Logan broke the silence.
"Your fever seems to have broken. How are you feeling?"
Max chuckled weakly, running a hand along the back of her neck. "Like someone played pin the tail on the donkey with my spinal chord."
"That was me," Maggie answered sheepishly. "Sorry about that. You're implant had to come out or…"
Immediately serious, Max silenced Maggie's ramblings with a hand to her shoulder.
"Thank you." She said earnestly.
"Anytime," Maggie answered solemnly.
Both women lapsed into silence, but Logan would swear that volumes were still being said. Suddenly, Maggie broke the mood by gingerly pushing herself off the bed and hobbling towards the door.
"I don't know about you guys, but over-the-top heroics tend to leave me with one hell of an appetite. How about I go make us some breakfast… or I guess I should say lunch."
From her overly bright tone, Logan knew that Maggie was trying to escape. From what, he wasn't sure; but he'd give her some time before he set out to find out.
"I'll come help you out in a few minutes, Maggie." Logan called after her retreating form.
A distracted "'kay," was all that answered him from the hallway, then the room descended into silence.
Soon all that could be heard was the quiet tick of the clock on the nightstand and the gentle rhythm of Logan's breathing beneath her. Taking stock of her surroundings, Max suppressed a grimace. Every muscle in her body ached and the back of her neck was on fire. The painkillers must have worn off. She'd heal quickly, but that didn't mean it wouldn't hurt in the meantime. Drawing on her childhood training, Max sought to mentally block out the pain, focussing her thoughts elsewhere.
That's when she felt it. His touch was so gentle, that she wondered at first if she wasn't imagining it. But as she forced the pain to the back of her mind, Max suddenly found herself surrounded by all things Logan. She immediately became conscious of her head pillowed on his chest and the long line of his body pressed tightly to her own. Breathing in deeply, she caught his familiar scent under the odour of wet horse that pervaded the room. They were both a mess, covered in dirt, sweat and blood, but Max had never felt more comfortable in her life. For the first time she could remember, she wanted to let herself go completely, surrendering her defences to the gentle circles he drew on her back.
The very idea at once thrilled and terrified her. The only people she's ever let her guard down with completely had been her siblings and just look where that had left her. Zack had abandoned her and Brin… Max shuddered at the memory of the look in her former sister's eyes. She had lost her too, to the hell from whence they'd come and Brin had gone willingly, too weak to keep her promise. Everyone she'd ever let close had left her. It was only a matter of time before Logan would too. Hell, he'd even already tried.
For a moment, the remembered panic of when she'd discovered his suicidal tendencies washed over her as she realized just how much it would tear her apart to lose Logan… to lose this… thing they had. She remembered the all-encompassing pain that had gripped Maggie the other night as she came to grips with the loss of Simon and Max realized that she would've reacted to losing Logan the same way. That's when it hit her. She'd already let go. Max couldn't pinpoint when it had happened, but it had. She had been intent on breaching his walls over the next few days, but he had already breached hers and it felt… good… Risking a glance upwards, Max found herself caught in an ocean of blue. His watery gaze held her a tender captive and for the first time in her life, Max had finished running.
Smiling weakly, she snuggled closer to his chest, pleased with the sudden spike in the heartbeat under her ear, and closed her eyes. They weren't totally out of the woods yet, but the rest of the journey could wait.
Chittering brightly, a trio of Mountain Chickadees flitted back and forth between the hanging bird feeder and a nearby spruce tree, unawares of the woman who watched them from the kitchen window. Sighing heavily, Maggie returned her attention to the soap-filled bowl that was bobbing in the sink. The aroma of baking quiche slowly filled the corners of the room, escaping through the archway and drifting lazily through the rest of the house. Though it was coming on one in the afternoon, she had decided that she wanted the comfort of a breakfast-like meal to help sooth her churning thoughts and the slight rolling of her stomach that just wouldn't go away. She could've just thrown together some eggs and toast, but Maggie decided that she needed to be distracted and nothing distracted her better than cooking.
After swiping her dishcloth over the bowl for what felt like the hundredth time, Maggie set it in the drainer with a huff and backed up into a nearby chair. Settling against the back with a groan, Maggie fought viciously against the tears that welling behind her lashes. Everything hurt, her muscles, her head… her heart. For a moment, she wondered if this was how Logan had felt after the shooting…
The squeak of rubber on hardwood stopped her musing and Maggie smiled weakly.
'Speak of the devil…'
"Something smells awfully good in here."
Schooling her features and surreptitiously dashing a few stray tears from her lashes, Maggie rose from her chair and turned to face her cousin who was now peering through the oven door.
"Hope you're hungry, Logan. I made two."
Glancing up at Maggie for the first time since he'd entered the room, Logan was shocked at what he saw. The early-afternoon sunlight through the window over the sink cast her face in a warm glow, making the shadows under her eyes clearer and darkening the bruises that adorned her neck. She was smiling but it didn't reach her eyes, which were pained and haunted. She was becoming uncomfortable under his scrutiny and Logan made a split-second decision. The time for misdirection was over.
"You don't have to hold it all together anymore Maggie."
With his soft entreaty, the dam broke. It wasn't a sudden deluge, but a slow crumbling. A few tears slipped free and trickled down her cheeks as her lower lip began to tremble. When Logan opened his arms with a whispered "C'mere," it began in earnest. Maggie tumbled clumsily into his embrace as the sobs began to wrack her body. He couldn't stem his own tears as he gently threaded his fingers through her hair.
"It's alright, just let it all out," he choked as she tightened her grip on his shoulders, burrowing into his chest as the sobs slowly subsided into hiccups.
"I was so scared…" she managed to gasp as she tried to regulate her breathing while unceremoniously wiping her face on Logan's shirt.
"I know, me too."
"…I was so scared for you, for Max… me. I've never been so terrified."
Logan smiled through his tears. "You hid it well. From what I could tell, you were cool as a cucumber."
A small laugh vibrated against his chest as Maggie spoke into his shirt.
"I guess adrenaline is the great equalizer."
Logan sighed into her hair. "It's amazing what one can endure with a little push."
"You got that right."
The two lapsed into silence as Maggie re-arranged herself into a more comfortable position for both of them on Logan's lap. Logan gently combed his fingers through her long tresses, careful to avoid tangles as he listened to Maggie's breathing even out. He'd worried she'd lapsed into sleep and was trying to figured out how he was going to salvage their meal without waking her up when quiet words breathed across his neck.
"So what now?"
Logan paused for a moment, organizing his thoughts.
"Well, later today I'll send a remote 'Eyes Only' broadcast documenting Bergstrom's dealings with Manticore and fingering him for the killings. That should get the authorities moving. Then I'll hand over the evidence to my friends in law enforcement. That should be the beginning of the end for Bergstrom Industries."
Maggie looked doubtful, so Logan continued.
"He's going to pay for what he did, Mags. I won't let him get away with it."
Maggie sighed.
"Well, we may have won the battle, but the war's not over."
Logan smiled. "Something tells me you're not done fighting. I know I'm not."
Maggie looked up into his eyes at this, searching for the truth in his words. He wasn't going to try and abandon them again. Satisfied that he meant what he'd said, she let him continue.
"We've at least bought ourselves a reprieve for a while. So try and enjoy the victory Maggie. You deserve it and you know that if you need anything… anything at all, I'm here and I think it's safe to say that so is Max."
Maggie smiled tiredly for the first time in what felt like days as some of the weight slipped from her shoulders. She felt like she could breathe for the first time in weeks. The immediate threat was gone. They were going to be O.K. Then, through the relief, it hit her; they weren't all here. Simon was gone.
Logan watched as the fire in his cousin's eyes were once again doused with pain and tears began to resurface. Her voice caught in her throat, she whispered harshly, "I miss him so much, Logan."
Logan pulled Maggie back into his chest, rocking her gently as she shook again him with renewed pain. He felt his shirt dampening with fresh tears as fragments of sentences tumbled from her lips.
"I never told… why did I…waited too…I never told him Logan."
His heart clenched painfully in his chest as he watched Maggie finally come to terms with Simon's murder and her regret at never having the chance to take things with him beyond the level of friendship. Then again, she'd though they had all the time in the world. As Maggie calmed against him, Logan swore to himself that he wouldn't make the same mistake with Max. Gently, he pulled back, cupping Maggie's chin and slowly forcing her to meet his eyes.
"Maggie…shh…Maggie. He knew." Logan said earnestly. "I only met Simon a few times, but anyone would've had to have been blind and stupid not to notice what you two had. He knew."
Maggie wiped at her eyes for what felt like the hundredth time, then clasped Logan's hand in hers.
"Please Logan, don't make the same mistake."
Logan smiled, making it obvious that he understood her meaning and answered with conviction. "I won't"
Maggie brightened.
"O.K."
Sliding from Logan's lap Maggie stood and made to dust herself off. In an effort to continue to lighten the mood, Logan abruptly changed the subject.
"I just have one question Maggie."
"What's that?" his cousin answered, checking on the status of their meal.
"How did a big male horse end up being named after the Greek goddess of the hunt?"
Maggie smiled in earnest and rolled her eyes.
"That, Logan, is the fault of his original owner. He thought it made him sound more sophisticated. I just didn't have the heart to tell him he'd named the poor guy after a woman. That's why I shortened the name to Artie."
Logan laughed outright. "I knew there had to be a story in there somewhere."
Maggie chuckled, pulling the quiches from the oven. "Alright, now I'm really hungry. So let's get some food into you, then you, my dear cousin, need some sleep."
Logan smiled as he settled himself at the table. "You won't be getting any arguments from me."