A/N: Like I said, the story will be up slowly but surely. It takes me about a week to write one chapter, so don't hold your breath! Thanks to all of you who came back from Flying Solo.
On a similar note, I have yet to name my trilogy. If any of you have suggestions, I will welcome them with open arms.I also plan to do a few more AU's and fics during/after the EU, so be on the lookout for them! (My two favorite ideas are a story involving a crash with the Millennium Falcon and an AU entitled "Another Blasted Love Story".)
Slash, hack, block, rebuke; search, reach, find, eliminate; it sounded very Dark Side when you broke it down into the steps, but the moves I was practicing were very much in the light. My master watched me tackle the remotes with ease, then ignited her weapon and entered the fray.
She began the attack and I held my blade against hers, my iron will against her own. It was a complex dance we wove, lightsabers sending each other into harm's way, and pure footwork leading us back home again. Day after day, week after week, month after month and the dance had not changed, only lengthened and perfected.
At times like these I remembered the mind puzzle Master Yoda had given us once about a man with an enemy twice his size who was able to defeat him, only because he could dodge and duck his opponent's weapon, and was able to move more quickly. Watching my master, I could clearly visualize this. She was known for her quick wit rather than brute force.
A few steps into the dance and her azure beam of energy was at my neck. "Enough for today, Padawan," she sighed, deactivating the lightsaber. "Although you have improved significantly in the past two years since we began training, you still lack the perception of your opponent's moves necessary to win. Your skill in the Force puts you at an advantage, Gracie. And yet you attack with reckless abandon." She walked towards the door leading out of the practice arena, so used to me following behind that she didn't need to look behind her. I silently cursed her for taking my obedience for granted; sometimes I wanted to just leave her and head the other way.
"First of all," I began, trying to satisfy my desire for escape with conversation. "I'm not reckless, I just live in the moment. I follow the philosophy of the great Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn."
"Ah, yes, Qui-Gon. You forget that his peers looked down upon him for his failure to respond to the high council's requests. He also lived in the moment as you do, calling it the living Force, but neglected to see into the future, causing him to lose grip in battle. I see why you idolize him, Padawan," she said with a highly uncharacteristic smirk. "You and Jinn are quite alike."
"I've never seen you smirk before. You gotta stop hanging around Captain Solo all the time!" She frowned at me in disapproval; I had obviously said the wrong think. "Oops. Shouldn't have said that, right?"
"Right," she replied sternly, looking me in the eye. "We are not in a private place, Gracie, and to speak of such things in public…I don not know what the other Jedi would think. What if someone made inferences about our relationship? I would certainly be demoted from Master, and you would be exiled before you had the chance to grow up."
I wrinkled my forehead in confusion. "Why would I be exiled for something you did, Master? You haven't corrupted me as a Padawan, and I have no associations with Solo. I would not be in danger." She opened her mouth as if to protest, but then closed it again, shaking her head.
"Tonight, I will tell you why that is so. But now is not the time," she said briskly. "Come, young one, we should visit the vast resource of the Jedi's library." I shrugged, then followed her again, mentally kicking myself for always behaving like a little lost puppy, too scared to bite the hand that feeds me.
On the way to the library, my thoughts kept returning to the predicaments of the day, the first being DL-44 Kid, as I had so dubbed him. Every month or so, upon the Falcon's return to the temple, I would scan every balcony, nook and cranny of the floors where he might be staying for a sign that he was there, but so far I had not seen him. I wondered whether or not he had parents, and if maybe he was visiting family or at the academy.
Thoughts of the shipping schedules of the Falcon brought me to the second of my problems: the return of Han into my master's life. Whenever I got wind of his arrival, I would devote myself to my studies or to lightsaber practice, or else find a friend of mine and go exploring. Just last week, a boy named Krans and I had gone exploring in some of the temple's garbage chutes. We had emerged smelly but victorious, with the remnants of several blasters in our possession. Neither of our masters was very happy about this, but it was worth it. Krans had become a good friend of mine and I wasn't sure I could face the captain again, not after having that knowledge placed upon my shoulders.
Perhaps it was lucky that the Jedi library was so close to what I called home. There were a few things that I had wanted to look up for some time now, and I hoped that they would have what I was looking for. "Master," I said reluctantly as we entered the massive doors, "you don't suppose the library has a directory of the Jedi, like a massive database of Force-sensitives?"
"Not that I know of," she replied, her voice betraying what little emotion she cared to show; a feeling of mixed apprehension and delight. "I'm sure that you could find out about a particular Jedi of interest to you by asking one of the older masters. Why do you ask?"
"My family," I lied.
She placed her hands on my shoulders, turning to look me in the eye. "Gracie, you might not want to know the truth about your family. Suppose they weren't half as good as you thought they would be? It would be hard to live knowing your parents were criminals, for example. And you're bound to the order. You would have to give them up as soon as you found them." I struggled to understand her logic despite the fact that I had no interest in who I was related to. "You understand?"
It's awfully hard not to respond truthfully with those piercing brown orbs drilling a hole in your skull, convincing you that she really knew whether or not you were lying, but I managed. The rest of the afternoon was uneventful, at least for my master. I was reading the archives of past events, scanning over the faded holos, when there was a soft knock on the window near my head. I looked up to see a smudged face nearly half-covered in red-gold hair, giving me a mischievous grin: Krans. Although a few years younger than me, he was an accomplished fighter and skilled in the Force, and more importantly, he was adventurous. He had been found in the depths of Coruscant, where it was rumored that you could go for miles without ever coming to an open patch of light.
Looking around to make sure my master was occupied, I motioned to Krans to open the window. As I hoisted myself up, I glimpsed him fiddling with the lock, trying desperately to get it open. I motioned for him to turn it the other way and he still didn't understand. Finally using the Force to open it from the inside, I crawled out onto the ledge where he was standing, saying as soon as the window was shut, "It's not like it involved any reading, Krans, so you could've done it."
The boy began to pout, and I slapped my forehead. If Krans had a weakness, it was brains, and he hated being reminded of it. "Gracie, that ain't funny, you know that's a mean thing to say." It really was pretty mean, because he never learned how to read until now, and he still struggled. Krans had been on his own since the age of three, and was found by the Jedi several years after.
"I'm sorry," I stumbled. "I've been having a few rough days, and I'm not sure I feel like me anymore. Answering to Janren as master is more irksome than I thought it would be. Don't get me wrong, she's a great tutor, but sometimes I just wish she didn't have to know everything that I didn't."
"Don't kick yourself, Grace," he called as he jumped down from the ledge, slowing his fall to make the near-impossible ten foot drop into something that could be done on little sleep. I followed his lead, wondering where today's great adventure might have us wind up: in an asteroid field, stuffed in crates on a freighter en route to the Hutts, or, if we were lucky, someplace really nasty. "And as for not feelin' like yourself, I got a cure for that."
"Oh?" I teased. "And what's that?"
He smiled his cheeky grin again. "There's a shipment being sent to the Jedi temple today in a few standard hours. If we hurry, we can make it in time to unpack the cargo and repack it before whoever wants it picks it up. Maybe there's some really rare stuff there, or better yet, something personal to one of the masters! Just think, this is our chance to find out more about their secret lives."
I already knew enough about secret Jedi lives for a lifetime, I thought. But Krans was right; I was feeling pretty lousy, and this seemed like just the thing to get me out of the funk I was in. "I'm game," I cheered. He flashed me a thumbs-up sign before disappearing down a manhole which, he claimed, could take you anywhere in the temple if you really wanted to go. (On one occasion, I told him it would probably take you to the showers as soon as they got a whiff of you after crawling around like womp rats in there.)
It took less than a standard hour to get from the outer edge of the library to the hanger, where the pipe ended in a grate. Krans could move it easily, but for now we waited for the correct ship to come. A familiar shape became clear on the horizon and he whispered, "That's the one." I groaned inwardly, hoping that whomever was piloting the Millennium Falcon (and there wasn't much of a selection to narrow down) wouldn't see me before we got back to the library.
"Hey, get a load of this!" I hissed back. Krans looked to where I was pointing. Sure enough, two rather tall and lanky figures were making their way down the ramp of the ship, one being quite older than the other. "That's Captain Solo and DL-44 Kid!"
"DL-44 Kid?" But I was already opening the hatch, taking care to not make any loud noises, or my entire plan would be ruined. The Falcon was located a few paces from the metal piping and as the two walked off the ship, I ran to the ramp and crouched underneath it. I could feel Krans' emotions, throbbing like a sharp mental probe reminding me of what happened the last time. But I had a stubborn streak and nothing could stop me, not once I saw the third member of the crew making his exit.
We had studied most of the major planets in the Padawan classes, and I recognized this mysterious ally as a native of Kashyyyk. The Wookiee was incredibly tall, with several weapons strapped to his belt and across his back. This was getting even more exciting! The trio held a short discussion, but it was enough for me to make out a deep voice, a lighter, higher version of the same tone, and a soft howl. Eventually they left, the captain diverging in the direction of the Jedi quarters, and I managed to push down the sinking feeling in my stomach and motion to Krans.
I could feel his reply more than I could hear it. "Gracie, don't!" But, like he knew I would, I ignored him and crawled under the open hatch to the opposite side of the ship. It was then that I noticed that something was there. A sentient being, no doubt, with what felt like a thermal detonator and a few good blasters. My heart thudded in my chest. I walked around cautiously, forgetting to use the Force instead of my eyes. Just then I noticed a tremor, a movement behind me, and wheeled around sharply to come face to face with a cold steel mask.
The "something" that I'd noticed was a bounty hunter.
I didn't know exactly how I knew, but there was something in the half-angry, half-disappointed way he'd approached me that suggested that Solo or one of his crewmates was the man he'd been looking for. But the bounty hunter apparently decided that I was worth finishing off first, removing his blaster from its holster. I ignited my weapon and prepared for the inevitable shower of shrapnel I would most likely be taking soon.
The thought came unbidden to me even as I dodged his fire, sending the lovely cascade of bullets back into the one-way mask: Boba Fett. It was like a soft whisper that was barely audible over the whiz of fire past my ears. I slipped in my footing and a bolt grazed my cheek, stinging throughout the battle. The voice was screaming now, 'Boba Fett!' loud and clear in my mind. At last, the fire ceased, and I realized the reason the bounty hunter had faltered. "Gracie, run!" It was out of my mind this time, a command from none other than the bossy brunette herself, Master Janren.
I didn't hesitate, simply ran back through the grate, grabbing up Krans by the collar as I trod along through ankle-deep water. I didn't think about my master saving my skin out of the goodness of her heart, because it didn't reflect well on a master to lose her Padawan, and I knew that I wasn't home free yet. The point was really driven home when a breathless Master Janren and a red-faced Jedi who I assumed was Krans' master met up with us at the exit near the quarters.
I sat alone in my room that night, after taking a shower and making a valiant effort to smell decent. It felt like I was awaiting my trial as I combed out my tangled brown locks, and I was almost sorry when my master came in to say goodnight. "Gracie," she said wearily as she sat on the end of my bed. "I'm very disappointed in you. But today has had a purpose besides nearly getting yourself killed."
"But it's not even my-"
She held up a hand in protest. "I'm not going to blame you, but I think it's about time that I tell you the full story, the one hundred percent truth. Just now I realized how close to death we are, and I don't want to lose you. So I think it's necessary that you understand the rest of the story." She cupped my face in her hands, giving me a forlorn smile. "Gracie, you remember that Master Skywalker and I had a falling out over my marriage. However, I only informed him and my mother when I learned that I was pregnant. Naturally, my father was angry and thought that in all his years he had taught me nothing. But I never thought he'd be angry enough to miss my daughter's birth."
Her daughter's birth. "You're my mother," I managed to whisper without even a hint of a question in my voice. I can feel it through the Force, and I'd almost felt it before. I couldn't see why it hadn't come to me sooner. Perhaps I always knew it to be true but just couldn't bring myself to admit it. "And Captain Solo's my father," I continued when she remained silent and unreadable.
The thoughts were sinking in now, and instead of it weighing me down, it coursed through my veins like fire. I turned and ran towards the door, a smile creeping across my face. "Gracie?" my master called after me, following me as far as the outer door jam. "I know you must be upset, and that's perfectly understandable, but please don't do anything"
"It's okay," I said, cutting her off. "I'm just going to visit Han." She finished her sentence in my head: rash. Still I persisted, trying to control my emotions and restrain myself from jumping into his arms as I ran towards the hangar for the second time today, only now it was above ground instead of under.
For some reason the prospect of having the captain as a father was less daunting than having my master as a mother. Perhaps it was because we were unified through the order, and it was strange to think that my mentor had also given birth to me. I think it was really because deep down, I didn't want to be a part of the scandal unfolding before my very eyes. I was breathless when I finally reached the hangar, and dazed having just been deep in thought, so I wound up stumbling against the Falcon to keep from falling. I suppose, to an outsider, I would appear drunk.
"Woah, there!" came a slightly high-pitched voice partial to young boys who hadn't yet reached adolescence. "What the hell've you been drinkin'? Didn't think your fancy Jedi master would let you have anything!" I looked into the incredulous face of the boy from the balcony. "Then again," he said with a shrug as I stood up of my own free will, "I'm not one to talk. Besides, I know not all of them are as righteous as they think." His knowing smile caught me off guard.
"Can I speak to the captain?" I asked tensely. "It's a matter of the utmost importance."
He laughed. "Gods, you sound stupid with all of that Jedi garbage coming outta your mouth." I felt my face get hot not with humiliation, but with anger. My temper had become a joke among the Jedi council. They often said that it must've come from too many days training with Master Janren (or Master Skywalker-Solo). Now I knew that I very well might have inherited it from her.
"Yeah, well with what comes outta your mouth, Jedi garbage is beginning to smell like Senator Palpatine's dinner! What are you, some adventurer on a half-baked scheme, or the son of a band of pirates and thieves?" My hands shook and my face was probably a nice shade of Coruscant crimson. "So," I said, taking a calming breath, "let me reiterate the question. May I speak to my father?"
"I don't know your father," the boy muttered. He was looking down at his muddied brown boots "And I doubt you do either, being a Jedi Padawan. But twice already you've insulted mine. So I may not have had the upbringing you have. So what? He's pulled me through trouble, he's saved my skin," he said, sounding admiring. Suddenly, he looked up into my face with a broad grin as lopsided as Krans'. "And he's a damn lot more fun!"
I sighed, relieved to have not hurt him as badly as I thought. "So, now can I see the captain?" He nodded, then set off at a fast run towards the front hatch. I followed him, slightly apprehensive at intruding into someone else's ship. But hey, it was my father's, so I suppose, theoretically, it was mine.
And I've been told that the truth has a lot to do with what you believe.