"Maybe Jeremy won't be too upset with me," she says to herself, dragging Diana's contorted body out the back door of her home. Diana was Jeremy's girlfriend of five years. But Alice wanted Jeremy, so she devised a plan to add on a number to her hobby AND get close to Jeremy at the same time. He shouldn't be THAT upset with Alice killing Diana.
Alice throws Diana into the grave she had dug the previous night. The cemetary keepers told her they couldn't allow her to bury her victims in the graveyard due to they needed what little space they had left. When she confided in her mother with her problem, Mother told her she could use the back yard only on one condition: that she stay away from the garden soil and her hydrangeas.
Alice thought that was fair enough, so she began planting her victims in the backyard--careful to avoid the garden soil and Mother's hydrangeas. Even though Alice thought the decomposing bodies would create a nice fertilizer for her mother's plants, she kept to her wishes.
As Alice shoveled the last bit of earth on top of Diana, she heard a muffled cry come from beneath her. Was Diana still alive?
She thought she had been so careful carving out Diana's heart and twisting her vertibra around to the point of disfigurement. Then, behind Alice, a hand reached through the soil and pulled it's owner out of it's grave. Then another. And another. They all began rising until she was surrounded by her rotted-corpsed victims. They had all risen from the dead. Well, except for Diana.
Alice looks quickly around at the corpses who were all staring at her through blank, decayed eyes.
"Not again!" Alice cried.
One of the corpses attempts to tell her something, but his stitched lips prevented him from doing so. That was Jacob. Jacob had been very talkative in his lifetime, so Alice thought it would have been appropriate for her to sew his mouth shut with Mother's sewing kit. Yet, still, he attempted to inform her of something anyways. He looked solemnly at Alice, then pointed a rotted finger in Diana's grave's direction, and then to the sky.
"I understand that she must have gone to Heaven," Alice sighs. "Otherwise, none of you would be standing again."
She had said "again" because this rising-from-the-dead thing had happened once before. The previous time was when she had slaughtered a preacher. He was one cocky bastard.
Her victims shook their distorted heads shamefully and began to advance towards her, holding their arms out in front of them like the zombies in the movies do.
They gave her her second lashing of the century. Little did they know, Alice was a masochist, and could withstand the pain quite easily. The lashings distibuted by her victims were reminders to never kill the innocent. She had only done it twice... so far...
When they gave her the proper amount of lashes, Alice started laughing and ordered her victims back to their holes, where they belonged. They all crept back to their graves carefully and slowly so as not to lose any of their remaining limbs. They covered themselves with the dirt once more.
"Dead people are silly," Alice giggled to herself, putting her shovel back in Mother's garden shed and waltzing back into her house. The smell of death was pungent, deathly, so she sprayed some Lysol over the quickly spinning fan, causing the disinfectant to spread all over the room.
She wrnkled her nose at the even more putrid smell of Lysol combined with death, so she walked outside. The air was fresh and clean and gave no hint of decay, so she glided back inside and threw open all the windows and doors to air it out. Mother would be pleased with her idea to air out the house. It was such a beautiful day.
The telephone began to ring as Alice opened the last door, so she picked up the nearest receiver and spoke in her usual cheery voice, "Lynx residence."
The voice on the other end of the line was male, and she could tell instantly that it was Jeremy.
"Hi, Alice, this is Jeremy. What's up?"
"Oh, nothing much," she replies, twirling the phone cord around her finger. "Just cleaning. Diana put up a pretty good fight. She went to Heaven, you know."
There was silence on the other end of the line for a moment before Jeremy spoke. "Yeah, I thought she would. She was always so nice. Um, can I ask why you did it?"
"Oh, well, you see, I couldn't date you while she was still alive and you two were together. It would have hung on my concience too much." She tried to keep the nervousness out of her voice. JEREMY MIGHT ASK HER OUT!
"Oh, um, cool. So you want to go somewhere tonight since Diana is unavailable?"
HE ASKED HER OUT!
"Sounds great! See you at seven!" She hangs up the phone and looks up at the mirror on the wall. Was that... BLOOD in her hair?
"Oh, dear. I have two hours to get ready and there's BLOOD in my hair!" Alice frets.
She quickly jumps into the shower and proceeded to wash her hair twice, scrubbing her head furiously to get the gory stickiness out. After she was satisfied that her hair long black hair had no red in it, she dressed herself carefully in her most revealing top and shortest skirt.
At sven sharp, Jeremy pulled his blue Ford Galaxy 500 into Alice's driveway and shut off the engine, turning out the lights also. Alice knew it was a rule to make the guy wait, so she plopped onto her couch and began filing her nails for at least five minutes before surrendering to excitement. Her house smelled fresh again, so she closed the only remaining open window and gave her reflection one last glance. Perfect.
Alice strides out her front door with grace, grabbing her purse which was conveniently located on the door-side table. As she galloped towards Jeremy's car, something in the corner of her eye caught her attention. She looked back and saw Diana standing at the gate leading to her back yard, smiling sinisterly. Alice ignored her, thinking maybe it was a figment of her imagination. Diana was killed at the hands of Alice. Diana went to Heaven. She shouldn't be back.
Jeremy hops out of the Galaxy and opens the door for Alice. She settles herself in the seat, flipping down the visor to check her reflection, yet again. And, also yet again, perfect, except for one small detail. Behind the car, she saw Diana, yet again, standing there, a hole in her chest where Alice had ripped out her heart. She was grinning evilly and was slightly waving. Alice shook her head and looked at Jeremy as he stepped into the car.
"You ready?" he asks her sweetly.
"Yes, are you?"
"Yes."
Alice was walking through her back yard. It was around midnight, and her victims all stood upon their graves, welcoming her with open arms.
Jeremy had carved her heart out, just as she had done Diana, and buried her in her own back yard, next to Diana, all the while muttering, "You killed her, I'll kill you."
He seemed so normal until the end of the date when he blugeoned her repeatedly over the head and removed her heart using his pocket knife.
"Oh well," Alice thought. "It was bound to happen sooner or later." Alice walked up to her grave and looked down into the deep hole, deeper than the other's. "I hope Mother won't be upset I borrowed her boots and now can't return them."
And with that thought, Alice jumps into the neverending abyss, slightly aware of the heat around her.