Faith is Spelled R.I.S.K
Chapter 4
Conversation and Confession
Disclaimer: I don't own any original characters. Just Alyssa.
Soda's face was so white, that he could have been mistaken as wearing a Halloween costume. Both of their faces had the color drained out of it, and they were standing the same position I had found them in yesterday. Unfortunately, the atmosphere wasn't quite the same.
Soda looked back and forth from Darry to Alyssa. Then, from Darry to me. I hoped that he didn't think I dragged Darry down here. Alyssa was staring nervously at Darry, as if she wasn't sure if he was dangerous or not, and she was holding onto Soda for dear life. T.B and Steve had come in by this time, and they were quieter that I think I've ever heard them.
Soda broke the silence. "Darry, listen…this isn't what you think…" He started, and with each word, he sounded like he was going to cry at any moment.
Darry's face was redder than I had ever seen it before. I was almost afraid to be standing there beside him, in fear he'd lash out. He obviously didn't care what Soda had to say.
"Soda, what are you doing? I didn't let you drop out of school to make out with girls all day. You're supposed to be working." He said, coldly.
I really wished he hadn't brought the whole dropping out of school thing up. It may not have been horrible to Soda, but it was a touchy subject with me, and hearing it being said so lightly, bothered me, even if it was Darry saying it.
"I wasn't…I just…you don't understand…" Soda was trying to get out. His face getting redder and more desperate by the minute. He was begging for Darry to understand, but he just couldn't.
I couldn't bare seeing my brother like this. I had to step in.
"Darry, don't get mad at him man, he ain't done nothing wrong." I said.
Darry turned on me then. "Pony, stay out of this. It don't concern you, just shut up!" He said. Boy, I knew he must be mad then. He's been making a habit of trying not to tell anyone to shut up, especially not me or Soda. I backed off.
Soda spoke up. "Hey, Darry, don't yell at him, this is between us." He said, regaining some of the courage in his voice, but when Darry looked back at him, he cowered back again.
Steve and T.B didn't say a word. Alyssa didn't either, but she strengthened her grip on Soda's hand. She looked at me then.
"Pony, why don't you take Steve and Two Bit outside for a while, so we can work this out?" She suggested. Leave it to Alyssa to be the peacemaker. She had always been that way. She didn't like conflict, and you could tell.
I nodded and Steve and T.B followed me outside the room. I closed the heavy door behind me, and Steve out his ear to it to see if he could hear anything. I put mine up to it as well, and Two Bit followed suit. We couldn't hear anything, so Steve and Two Bit finally gave up.
I stayed though, and every so often, one of their voices got high enough, that I could make out some of what they were saying.
Darry said something about keeping secrets from him, and I heard my name in there somewhere, and wondered how I got into this. Soda would say something back, but from what I could tell, he wasn't mad or anything. I heard a softer, female voice as well, but it was low enough that I couldn't make any of it out.
I kept listening for anything else I could hear, but what I did hear, was someone moving towards the door. The last thing I needed was for Darry to come out and find me eavesdropping, so I backed away from the door, and picked up the nearest magazine.
Alyssa came out, and closed the door behind her.
"How's it going?" I asked.
"They're still talking, but I thought I'd get out of it for a while. This part has nothing to do with me, and I bet I was making Soda uncomfortable."
"What are they talking about?" I asked, trying to quench my curiosity.
She moved the hair out of her eyes. "Well, I wasn't really sure, but I heard something about someone named Sandy. And they were just talking about how Soda and you were keeping secrets from him, and then Soda told Darry that he shouldn't have to tell him everything. I didn't think I needed to hear anything other than that, so I decided to leave."
"Are you alright?" I asked, because I could tell she was upset. Who wouldn't be?
She flashed me a smile. "Yea, I'm fine Pony. Thanks. Oh, if Soda comes looking for me, I'll be out on the pumps with Steve, ok?"
I nodded, and she walked past me. Then, she stopped, and turned back.
"Just for the record, next time to grab a magazine to cover up for listening in, you might want to look at the cover first." She said, and walked away smiling.
I looked down at the book in my hand. It had to be a parenting magazine didn't it?
I wondered if Alyssa knew we didn't always act like that at home? Lately, we had been getting along real good, Darry and I. We used to fight like dogs, but ever since the while thing that happened last year, we had decided to stop fighting, because it was stupid. Besides, Soda didn't like it much anyway. That was one of the main reasons we had stopped. We always did things for Soda.
At that point, Darry came out, and slammed the door behind him. He didn't look as mad as he had before, but still, he didn't look exactly look pleasant.
"Darry…" I started to say. But he put his hand up to stop me.
"Not now Pony, ok? Look kid, I'm sorry I yelled at you, but now is not the right time, ok? I really have to go." He said, and walked swiftly out of the store.
I waited until he was completely gone, and then I went back in to look for Soda, to see if he was ok.
I saw him, sitting on one of the packages in the back room. His back was to me, but his shoulders were heaving and his breathing was irregular.
"Soda, are you ok?" I asked.
He looked slightly up at me, and I could see that his eyes were red. It was weird, because I very rarely see my brother cry. He tries not to, even though he doesn't hide his emotions very well. He cried when mom and dad died, when they took away his horse, and when Sandy left him. I'll bet he cried when I ran away, and when Dally and Johnny died. But all the same, it was weird seeing my brother crying, and I felt liked crying myself.
"I'm ok Pony, can you get Alyssa for me please?" He asked.
"Yeah sure. She's just outside with Steve. I'll go get her for you. Do you want anything else?" I asked, trying to be as supportive as I could.
He shook his head. "No, that's fine. Thanks Pony."
I walked out to the pumps and saw Steve and Alyssa working on a car. Boy, you wouldn't know it, but Alyssa really is a grease monkey. She's great with cars, and she's not afraid to show her tomboy side. I think that's part of the reason Soda's so attracted to her. It might also have something to do with the fact that she's so darn sweet and pretty.
"Hey, Alyssa. Soda wants you in the back." I said.
She dropped the cloth she was using, and walked past me. She was quiet, even more so than usual. She didn't look like she was crying, but she looked on the verge of it.
"Alyssa, I think he may be crying." I said, as softly as I could so Steve couldn't hear.
As she walked past me, she flashed me a smile, as best she could, and said "Thanks Pony."
After she went in, Steve waved me over to the car he was working on.
"Pony, come here." He called, in the loudest whisper I had ever heard.
I walked over to the car, and sat down on a chair that was beside it.
"So, uh, what's the scoop, Pony? I mean, what are they talking about? Has Darry killed them yet?" He asked.
"Well, as far as I know, they're still both breathing. Um…they were talking about stuff, but I'm not sure what's going on now. I was going to go check." I said.
Steve nodded. I walked back into the store and went back to the room. I quietly creaked open the door as quietly as I could, and peered through the tiny crack I had made.
I saw Alyssa walking over to where Soda was, and I was quiet enough to hear their conversation.
"Soda, are you ok?" She asked, in her sweet voice.
Soda only nodded, and pulled her over to him.
"Come on baby, it's gonna be ok, you know Darry's bark is worse than his bite. This will all blow over in a couple days." She said, laying her head on his shoulder.
Soda still didn't answer, and he wrapped his arms around her in a hug. Then, he put his head down into her shoulder and started crying hard.
"Oh, don't cry baby, you're gonna make me cry." She said, half laughing.
Soda sat up, and put both his hands on her cheeks.
"I'm sorry, babe. But, I just hate it when he's mad at me." Soda said.
"I told you, Darry's bark is worse than his bite. I'll bet he'll forget all about this tomorrow, ok? Cheer up, you're much cuter when you smile." She said.
Soda flashed her one of his famous grins, and then he leaned over to kiss her.
I closed the door really fast, because I really didn't want to see that.
I went back outside to report my findings to Steve. I didn't really want to, but since I told him I would, it was better if I kept my promise.
Steve saw my come out, and immediately waved me back over.
"So? What's up?" He asked, putting down the wrench.
"Well, they're in there talking, and Soda's kind of upset, but Alyssa's trying to make them feel better. I stopped looking when they started the mouth to mouth again. Jeeze, you'd think that they were choking all the time or something." I said.
Steve laughed. "That, my little friend, is one of the many advantages of having a girlfriend. You'll find out someday." He said.
"I guess so." I said.
I sat back down on the chair. "So, where'd T.B go anyway?" I asked.
"He went to either find women, or find beer. Or maybe both. Here, hold this for me will ya?" He said, passing me a tire he had just taken off.
It was so heavy, I almost fell over from the weight. I figured out pretty quick that if I ever wanted to work in a gas station, I'd have to get myself in shape. I handed the tire back to Steve, and started drawing in the dirt on the ground.
I saw Soda and Alyssa come out of the store, holding hands. Sheesh, it just proved that they had super glue complex. I don't think they ever let go of each other.
I looked at my watch again; it was almost 1:00. This could prove to be a very long day. I decided to walk home alone, just because I didn't want to hang around with the Three Musketeers of the DX.
The walk home was long, but enjoyable. No Two Bit to constantly talk, and not having to worry about the Socs made it pleasantly quiet.
When I got to the house, I was pleased to find it clean. I guess I should start picking T.B up from his house more often.
As usual, I sat down in front of the TV to kill some time, and turned on some random cartoon, and soon, Darry was home with Soda. They weren't exactly speaking, but they weren't yelling, and they didn't look mad anymore.
Supper was quiet, though. No one talked much, and nothing really strange happened. Of course, that probably partially has to do with the fact that Soda didn't cook dinner. I did. I made my favorite: chicken sandwiches. They were also the easiest to make.
When I went to bed that night, Soda rolled over so his back was to me, and I couldn't see his face.
"Soda, are you sure you're alright?" I asked, trying to sit up far enough to see the expression on his face.
Soda didn't answer, he didn't move either.
The air from outside was still cool, even for summer. When the sun went down, the warmth went with it. There was no school anymore, and sometimes it was hard to go to sleep, because the air was warm and sticky. But not tonight. I was almost cold enough to have to use the warm blanket at the foot of the bed. Even though it was cool, I could still feel the heat from Soda's body.
"Soda?" I asked again.
"What do you want Pony?" He asked, quietly.
"What happened back at the station, with Darry? Did you have to break up with her? Did Darry get really mad? Come on, what happened? It's killing me, Soda!" I said, sitting up fully.
Soda rolled over to face me then, and propped himself up on one arm.
"Wow. Slow don Pony. One thing at a time. No, I didn't have to break up with her, and I don't think that Darry is really that mad. I think he was just more upset that you knew and didn't tell him." Soda said.
"You mean, he's mad at me because I kept your stupid secret and didn't tell him about your girlfriend! Somehow, that doesn't really add up!" I said.
"Hey, it ain't my fault! I was trying to stick up for Alyssa!" He said.
"So, you didn't try to stick up for me! Your own brother! But, you still stick up for your girlfriend!" I said, getting slightly agitated.
"It's not that simple, Pony! I was confused, and mad at the time, and I know that I've known you longer that Alyssa…"
"15 years longer!" I said, almost shouting.
"I know Pony! I'm sorry, ok? Look, it was heat of the moment. You saw how mad Darry was! He was yelling at me, and I didn't know what to do, or how to respond. I was upset that Alyssa had to see Darry mad at me." Soda said, sitting up fully.
"But I thought you were supposed to be my brother? Don't you love me?" I asked. I could feel tears stinging my eyes. This time I didn't try holding them back. I couldn't. I loved Soda. I knew he loved me too, but the realization that I could lose him to Alyssa, as much I liked her, made me sick. Of all the people I didn't want to lose, Soda was the biggest one. He was the only one that understood me, and I couldn't lose him, I just couldn't.
"Pony, what are you talking about? Of course I love you, why wouldn't I? You're my brother!" Soda said.
"Yes, but do you love Alyssa more?" I asked. I needed to know.
"Pony, I love you. You're my little brother. I love Alyssa too. She's my girlfriend, my soul mate, and my best friend. I don't love either one of you any more than the other, just in different ways." Soda said, resting one hand on my shoulder.
"So, you do love her?" I asked, feeling a small smile spreading across my face.
Soda didn't answer, but I could tell he was contemplating what to say to me.
"Pony, do you like Alyssa?" He asked suddenly, out of no where.
"Do I like her? Well, she's nice, but I don't like her." I said, not quite sure what to say.
"No, I mean, do you like her as a person? I mean, if for some reason, in the future, we decided to take the next step, would you be ok with that?" He asked.
"You mean, if you like, got married or something?" I asked.
"Yeah, something like that." Soda replied.
"I don't mind that you're with Alyssa. I just don't want her to take over my place in your heart." I said. I had stopped crying by now, but my nose was still stuffed up.
"Pony, that could never happen." Soda replied. "I could never love anyone as much as I love my brothers." He said
"You never did answer my question, Soda." I said, somewhat grinning.
"What's that?" He asked, laying back down.
"Do you love her?" I asked.
"Ok, Pony, do you really want to know?" He asked, sitting back up.
"Obviously." I said, sarcastically.
""Ok, yes. I do love Alyssa. I love her a lot, and I told her that today. I'll tell you something Ponyboy, I've never felt this way about anyone else before. Not even Sandy. She just makes me happy. Happier than I've been in awhile. She completes me, and I love that. She's said that she loves me as well, and that makes me so happy. It was the best feeling in the world. I can't wait till you can experience it." He said. Then, he laid down and went to sleep.
I rolled over. "Yeah, me either." I said to the darkness. Then, I fell asleep and dreamt about Cherry.
That's that. I'll update soon! Please R&R!
BTW: I did get the Lowe and Rob from Rob Lowe. I had the Lowe first, and I realized I needed a name for Alyssa's ex, so I did the first name that came to my head.
Jess