LB: Here is the revised first chapter of 'To Choose the Youkai'. In working on chapter 19, I decided to reflect upon my earlier chapters and was horrified at my terrible lack of writing skills. Therefore, I am rewriting the first few chapters (I will not, however, be changing any major plot details, though I can guarantee a more enjoyable reading experience.) Please let me know what you think. In another note, Sesshoumaru has both arms in this story for convenience.
Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Inuyasha, or I would not be writing "fanfiction." (rolls eyes) My goodness…Ah, well. On to the chapter.
Chapter One. Choose.
Kikyou's cold voice rang out in the deafening silence of the shadowed grove. "You must choose now, Inuyasha. Will you follow me to what should have always been your fate? Or will you choose to spend the rest of your life with someone who can only give you a half of herself, and will one day return to her own time without a second thought?"
"That's not true!" Kagome countered desperately. "I would never forget about Inuyasha! I…I love him!" Kikyou chuckled grimly. "You do not belong in this era; your own time pulls at you, and only the shikon jewel allows you to remain. When the shikon no tama is wished away, you will likely be thrust back into your own time, your task being complete. You may mourn this parting at first, but humans forget. You will reason that you must continue living, if only in the memory of your time here, and slowly the faces that you have encountered will fade and you will no longer be able to conjure them back. You will console yourself with tears, but they too will fade, and your life will go on." She turned to Inuyasha. "Can you truly bear to choose Kagome, knowing that that will be the destiny of your love?" The hanyou's golden eyes flicked over to Kagome in confusion, then back to Kikyou. Kagome could read the indecision in his face, portrayed there plainly as though he had turned to her and explained it. She knew, also, who he would choose…who he had always chosen. "Why can't you just leave him alone, Kikyou! Why can't you forgive him for his faults, and let him remain until it's his time to go? Why do you have to punish him for something that he has no control of?" Tears welled up in her eyes and fell over her thick lashes, sticking them together and beading at the tips. "If you loved him, you'd let him go."
Kikyou's stare was dark and intense as she studied her reincarnation. "I am the dead. I am no longer capable of the love that Inuyasha and I once shared. I once even had hope that even in hell we could live together once more, but I realize now that the foolishness of a young girl's dreams is insignificant in the higher scheme of life. I do, however, keep a small memory of my time with Inuyasha, and what I felt for him. I wish to spare him the pain of staying."
Kagome clenched her fists in fury. "That's stupid! You make no sense! You just want to drag him off to hell so that you can fulfill your twisted idea of revenge. At least with me, Inuyasha will have love. Can you give him that?" Before Kikyou could open her mouth to reply, Inuyasha stepped between them, setting his roughened hands on Kagome's shoulders. "Kagome…let me go. Let it all be over, okay?" Kagome shook her head stubbornly. "She doesn't care about you, Inuyasha. You have to see that." Inuyasha let his hands fall to his sides. "Listen, Kagome. I'm finished with you. You're just a nuisance. I love Kikyou. Go home, where you belong."
Kagome reeled back, stunned, and Inuyasha cringed inwardly. "Go on! Get out of here!" He closed his eyes to shield himself from her pained tears. He stepped nearer to Kikyou. "You don't belong here."
Kikyou set an arrow in her bow. "Inuyasha has chosen, girl. He speaks the truth. You do not belong here, with him." Kagome stood rooted to the spot, and reverted her gaze to Inuyasha. "I don't believe you," she whispered. "You're lying to me, and you know it." Inuyasha looked away, and Kikyou tensed. "You idiot child! You deceive yourself with your own so-called love. Begone from this world, and return to your own era!" She fired her arrow, but the aura around it was different; it was not the deep blue aura of purification, but an ominous-looking violet, and Kagome felt a wave of foreboding overcome her. Her legs wouldn't move, and suddenly felt like Jell-O.
Inuyasha leapt toward her. "Run, you fool!" he shouted. Kagome staggered backwards in semi-slow motion, and Kikyou shoved Inuyasha out of the arrow's path with a blast of energy. "Do not interfere, she commanded icily as the miasma-coated arrow pierced Kagome in the chest, and the young miko fell to her knees.
Kikyou turned then to Inuyasha. "Now, die."
'I'm dead. Is this what death feels like? If I'm dead, why am I in pain? Heh. Maybe I went to hell. I don't feel dead.' Kagome moaned, painstakingly opening her eyes against the will of her body. Colours sharpened to a blotched focus, the sun scorching her vision. That seemed real enough. Her head pounded in protest as her chest heaved, causing a fit of harsh coughing.
"Kagome-chan? Are you awake now?" A cool cloth mopped her forehead. She struggled to pull herself up, wincing against the jagged knives of pain that ripped through her and crying out. She collapsed once more on the ground, breathing heavily. Small hands smoothed over hers. "Kagome-chan, are you alright? You shouldn't push yourself! You're very sick!" Kagome smiled deliriously. "Oh…sick…that's why it…hurts." She shifted her gaze to a small face with concern plastered on it. "Rin, right? I remember you…you're…little girl that follows Sesshoumaru…is…is Sesshoumaru here?" She looked around her as much as she could without moving her head, confusion clouding in her brown eyes. "Where's…Inuyasha?" She frowned, trying to remember, and was presented with an image that she'd rather not have seen. Tears streaked down her cheeks. "Inuyasha's…dead." She trembled painfully. "Inuyasha…idiot…" She let loose a gut-wrenching sob. "INUYASHA!" Her cry echoed despairingly in the clearing and beyond. The blades of grass bent down in terror at the wave of dark energy that blasted from the miko's body. A bird flew to the shelter of a nearby tree, and a leaf that had been tumbling to the ground split into a million tiny pieces.
Sesshoumaru felt a deep twinge of devastation, the aftermath of the young woman's emotions echoing in the clearing. That this sickly-looking adolescent could produce such a powerful aura was unfathomable.
Rin shook, wide-eyed, as Kagome drifted back into unconsciousness. "What's the matter with Kagome-chan, Seshoumaru-sama?" He surveyed the child momentarily before answering. "She feels a deep sadness, and she is in pain from whatever ordeal has caused her injuries." Rin looked back at Kagome. "I remember that she smiled a lot. Do you think she won't smile anymore, Sesshoumaru-sama?" To this, he had no answer, and Rin sighed.
"Do I ask too many questions, Sesshoumaru-sama?" He gave no reply, but patted her on the head as he walked past her. Jaken emerged from the shadows with an armful of wood. "Sesshoumaru-sama does not need to answer such unimportant questions, Rin! Children should be seen, and not heard. Hasn't anyone ever taught you that?" Rin tilted her head quizzically, idly playing with a couple of stones in the grass. "But, Master Jaken…if I am to be seen and not heard as a child, how will I know what to say when I grow up?" At his flustered stammer, she laughed, returning to her child-like innocence. "What a silly thing for me to say."
Sango sobbed against Miroku's chest, tears soaking into his monk's robe. "They couldn't be dead, Miroku! There's no real proof, is there?" Miroku held his companion close to him, smoothing a hand over her back. "Their bodies were both found." Sango pulled away. "Then where are they?" Miroku sighed. "The one who spotted their bodies went away to notify Kaede and get more to help bring them back, but upon his return, they were gone…excuse my bluntness…but they were likely devoured in his absence." Sango sniffed. "I can't believe it. Kagome stood in this very spot yesterday, sat Inuyasha for picking on Shippo, made us all dinner. Inuyasha went out and ripped apart a demon, protected us, and ate the ramen Kagome made as though he were starving. How could two people so alive not be any longer?" Miroku tightened his arms around her slim figure. "I am as stunned as you are, Sango."
Kagome remained deep in her state between unconsciousness and delirium for just over a week. In that time, Sesshoumaru's head was aching from listening to the almost constant commentary from the miko in her semi-conscious periods, and endless inquiries from Rin regarding everything from the young woman's welfare to why birds ate worms. He could see absolutely no benefit from rescuing the bothersome incarnate thus far, and he didn't count on that situation improving. He had learned more about the miko and her strange comings and goings than he knew about Rin, and she accompanied him almost all of the time, along with her strange habit of blurting out anything that came into her head.
When Kagome finally began to emerge from her dazed period, she went into a terrible silence that hurt his head more than her talking had. It lasted for several days, and his nose still itched from the heavy scent of despair and grieving that hung over her like a deity bearing death.
It was not until three weeks of her time with them that she began to make the effort to sit up, and her grief shifted in colour, and (although still there) was coated with mixed scents of anger, betrayal, and determination.
"Rin…" her cracked voice penetrated the clearing feebly. "Water?" The brightly-clothed young girl cheerfully obliged, helping Kagome to sip the cool liquid slowly. "Jaken," Rin demanded. "It's nearing nightfall. Will you make a fire?" Grumbling some absurdities about inappreciative human wenches and endless hours of work for poor imps, Jaken hurriedly assembled a small blaze.
Sesshoumaru entered the encampment silently, dumping a small pile of fish next to Jaken. Understanding his master's obvious wish for him to make it edible, he prepared them and cooked them, wasting no time.
Kagome didn't eat much, as her stomach decidedly rejected everything she tried to ingest, save water. Sesshoumaru also did not eat a very large portion, picking at his own meal thoughtfully. Perhaps the fates had concluded that his life was not enough of an oxymoron already, and added another human to the mix, not to mention a dead brother, of whom he wasn't sure whether or not to grieve. Had the trials of taking on Rin and Jaken as his subjects and the duties of being taiyoukai not been kaleidoscopic enough?
"Ye must stay here, until one who is able to continue the search for the shards makes themselves known," Kaede advised sagely. A flare of desperation ignited within Sango. "That could take decades! Even without K-Kagome…" she inhaled deeply at the thought of her late friends, "…and Inuyasha, we still want to defeat Naraku!" She fought back tears, and Miroku swung an arm around her shoulders. "Don't you see Sango? Until we can find the shards and complete the shikon jewel, there is no hope in defeating Naraku. We cannot gallivant about the country killing every demon in sight in hopes that one of them will host a jewel shard. Until we have some way of pinpointing their location, we must rejuvinate our strength. I'm sure that fate will not be so cruel as to deprive us of that, at least." Tears brimmed in Sango's eyes, and she looked away. "Fate has not been kind thus far," she replied.