Here is me! Yeah! You guys don't even know me... ToT Just let you know, this chapter is longer! And there wouldn't be any world swapping either. Also, you can refer this as the Seventh year in the Harry Potter series.

Hogwarts

"So we are at Hogwarts. Right?" Paloma asked.

"Yes." Eiri replied coldly.

"Positive?"

"Yes for the uptenth time! Stop asking me!"

"Eiri..."

"Yes?"

"Can I ask one more thing?"

"WHY ARE WE IN LINE WAITING TO BE SORTED?"

"Because 'Professor' McGonagall thought it was 'a highly recommended procedure in searching for your friends' "

"Oh... Yeah! It's my turn!" Paloma screeched. She sat impatiently on the stool.

"Isn't she a little to old to be sorted?" Harry whispered to Hermione. Hermione just shrugged. The ceiling was showing a clear blue sky, just like outside. The clouds danced around without a care in the world.

"Hey! I heard that! Watch it buddy. I can do magic!" Paloma threatened and wave her newly obtained wand (got switched with her white staff). Instead of making everyone quiver in shock, the wand made the stool rust and began to crack under Paloma's gluteus maximus and shattered into splinters. "Waah...I got a moo-boo!"

Everyone roared in laughter. She wiped her tears and rubbed her fanny. She wouldn't give up so easily without a fight.. "Haha! You think it's funny? Huh? Watch this!"

Paloma pointed her wand at the stool and said, "Reparo" The 1000 century old stool was now a new armchair. "Ha!" One of the first year ran out crying.

"Please be seated young lady!" Professor McGonagall yelled. Paloma quickly rested on her new armchair and waited to be sorted into one of the four Houses. Professor McGonagall placed the Sorting Hat, whihc was a little dusty and had some dandruff from all those previous students who wore it before, on Paloma's messy hair.

"Ahhh! Paloma...yes...mmmm...oooooo!" the Sorting Hat cooed.

"Are you having an orgasm?" Paloma said in disgust.

"No! Hmm...Gryffindor!"

"Oh. Great..." Ron whispered to Hermione. Hermione shrugged again impaitiently and kept her eyes on the her new friend-to-be.

"I heard that too! You don't want me to mess you up, boy! Me and my girls will do our thang!" Paloma yelled and walked by Ron. She smacked his head and continue to walk as if she didn't do anything wrong. She sat at the far end of the table and knocked on the wooden table.

"Ooooo! Is this real cherry wood? Oh no! I left my folder up there!"

It was now Eiri's turn. He stood there and lit a cigarette, waiting for the dumb hat to be placed on his head.

"Please! We don't tolerate any drugs in this school." Professor McGonagall sad and waved her wand. Instantly the cigarettes disappeared from Eiri's mouth, pocket, shoe, and you name it. Paloma thought she heard someone cry from the front of the room, but was too busy examining the table and chewing newly found gum (already been used, sad to say...). Eiri sat on the chair with comfort and waited. Once again the Professor placed the hat upon Eiri's head.

"I better not get any lice..." Eiri threatened.

"Hmmm...very difficult...Eiri...yes...Slytherin!"

"Muhahahahahaha!" The Slytherins laughed. The continued there manical laughter for a couple of minutes and almost died from coughing at the end.

"Yeah...don't do that ever again." Eiri said stiffly. Every Slytherin nodded, scared that they were going to smashed into pieces. Another first year burst through the door crying.

"Yeah! My turn!" Yuna screeched. She ran toward the crimson armchair, but before she made it, she had tripped on the carpet.

Paloma stood up in slow-motion and said, "Yes!"

As Yuna was falling, she said in a deep slow-motion voice, "Noo!"

"Yes!" Paloma did a slow-motion nod and gave a big grin.

"Nooo!" Replied Yuna, also in slow-motion.

"Yes!"

"Nooo!"

"Yes!"

"Noo!"

"This is ridiculous!" Eiri yelled and in real time, walked up to the front of the long room and shoved Yuna's head into Paloma's Mysterious Folder of Lost Thangs that she accidently left. The foldr instantly swallowed Yuna and just like that, she was gone. (A/N: Paloma's Mysterious Folder of Lost Thangs is a magical folder and yet is actually quite true. My friend, Paloma has it duh and once you put something into it, you can never get it back).

"Well, guess that's that. Off to your houses, all of you!" The Professor yelled.

"But who will be our new head-master?" Harry burst. He tried so hard over the summer not to think about his head-master, who previously died.

"You mean head-misstress. She will reveal herself in good time. Now get to bed!" Paloma sat all alone on the bench. She had no friends, and she was alone. Eiri already went and didn't even notice her. Luckly, Hermione ran up to the sad-faced Paloma.

"Hello! My name is Hermione Granger. Please to meet you! Would you umm...be my friend?"

"Hi. My name is Paloma! Sure I would love to be your friend!" She said in her spanish accent.

"Yeah! I am so delighted!" Hermione yelled and jumped up and down. Harry and Ron had came up to them now. They were oddly smiling.

"Hi man name is-"

"-Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley." Paloma finished for Harry.

"Are you good with divintation?" Ron asked with a surprise tone.

"Guess we should hurry to our house right?"

"Umm yeah..." Harry replied. The four walked up the magical staircases that moved from hear to there. The portraitssaid good night to them all and got ready for bed themselves. Each and everyone of the paintings were vibrant with color and had different styles of art work. One with oil, another with black and white. All of them uniqe in one way. After walking up the stairs for what seemed like forever to Paloma, the came to a painting of a fat old lady with a pink dress. As usual, she asked for the password and moved out of the way to reveal and opening that was already filled with Gryffindors that were going to bed. Paloma examined the paintong of the big, fat lady and saw a stick figure dancing to what seemed like the Macerena.

"His name is BOB which stand for Big Old Bastard." The fat old lady said with annoyance. Paloma just shrugged and walked into the common room. The fire place was begginging to dimmer. Everything was so quite. Not even a Crookshanks had made a noised. Paloma let out a fart that was so smelly that she had to run up stairs to stop crying. She opened the door to the girl's room and quitely walked in. She sneaked onto her bed and changed her clothes into pajamas. She rest her head on the wonderful fluffy pillow. Everything, quite. She thought she felt hot tears come down her cheeks. How she missed her family and friends... She cried herself to sleep and was awoken by a loud noise.

"Attention! All students report to the Grand Hall idmediatly!" A loud voice boomed. All the students were wide awake by now and was trotting down the stairs into the Grand Hall and stood like zombies, from lack of sleep.

"We welcome our new head-misstress! Professor O'Niell!" The old lady walked in with her cart, a cart that was once used to hit unaware students. She strolled by Paloma and whispered," Nice to see you again. I've been waiting to give you a F- all this time. Muhahahahaha!"

"Nooo!" Was all Paloma said.

Mrs. O'Niell was our writing teacher. She is so mean, it's scary! Bye for now!