AGGG the nightmare of writing endings! GRRR I HATE THEM! Ahem anyway here it is. Hate it…I do. Hopefully the edited version will be better. So…much…editing.
I don't own Zim…Recon Santa could give it to me as an x-mass prezzy?
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"TAK!"
Dib eyes widened as it all came crashing in. The wanting of earth, killing Zim, the disguise, everything suddenly fell into place. Her image cleared and slowly she came out from the shadow, she hadn't changed a bit. Her eyes were that same purple colour, although nowhere near as sinister as Sideos's. Her clothes still matched her eyes and her skin was still that old green colour. She was also wearing a horrid new smile.
Zim shouted angrily from his table on the other side of the room, directly behind Dib. "I can't believe you would sink this low to get my mission. I knew you where too stupid to be an Invader, but dealing with criminals is a new low for you." Sideos was about to growl out an answer but, Tak cut over him.
Her voice was filled with a rage that spoke of many years and much humiliation at Zim's hands. "SILENCE! You don't know how much I've been looking forward to this, Zim. So many years waiting for this moment. My only regret is that I won't be killing you myself, but that's the genius part. You see, if I killed you my PAK would register the crime and I would be hunted down and jailed, my mission taken from me forever. But If Sideos here kills you," and the aforementioned Irkin grinned evilly and began to scrape his razor claws together, making the sound of two rusty nails rubbing against one another. "It won't mean a thing. He's killed more then me or you could ever do. He is already on the run for murder, so what's one more going to do for him? And if that happens to be a defective Irkin on a planet I was just so happening to arrive on, then all the better for me."
Behind Dib, Zim grimaced in disgust. However, while all this talking was going on Dib's mind was racing for a way out.
Zim, oblivious to Dib's mass planning, shouted back. "Then why did you go to the trouble of releasing an imprisoned homicidal Irkin to kill me? Why not just pay some bounty hunter? Or are you too poor and out of work to afford one?" Sideos turned to the screen at this, apparently quite interested to know himself.
Tak drew herself up slightly as though the answer was completely obvious. "My financial situation has nothing to do with this. I released Sideos because I needed someone who had no interest in money, or material rewards. Any other bounty hunter would have demanded a lot to be paid to kill an Irkin invader, even if the one in question was a defect. All Sideos wanted was to get out of that cell. And what's another insane Irkin in the empire?"
Surprisingly, it was Sideos who spoke next, he grinned slyly and bowed slightly as he taunted his partner in crime. "Oh come on, admit it. You love me really, don't you?" He erupted in an evil cackle as Tak began shouting various insults at him. Zim began screeching in his annoying nasally tone and the room was filled with the sounds of the three Irkins. However, Dib stayed silent, his eyes shut tight as he begged his mind to come up with an escape plan. Suppressing the urge to speak his thoughts out loud like normal he talked to himself in his own mind.
Ok, my hands are free, but the other release switches are out of reach on the back.
Then what are you going to do? Sideos has got the K.O chemical
Ahh, but he doesn't know it's a K.O chemical...
That's a good point. But what are you going to do?
Zim could free me.
Zim's right behind you. And his hands are still tied down.
Well, my hands are free...maybe... Dib's eyes shot open as the answer revealed itself to him. He marvelled for a moment amongst all the noise at his own genius, before shouting over the alien crowd.
Dib's voice was proud and defiant, something that shut the three Irkins up straight away. "Sorry I have to do this, Sideos, but I'm not going to let you hand over my planet to an invader who could actually win." Zim loudly shouted something angry, but Dib ignored him.
Sideos grinned, unaware of Dib's plan. "Sorry about what, little Dib-Dib?"
"This." Dib grabbed the keyboard and pushed against it with all his strength. The whole moment in time seemed to slow down.
Dib gritted his teeth as the table flew across the room, Sideos's mouth dropping open in surprise, Tak screeching in shock and Zim screaming as the back of the table slammed into him. However, as his head connected with the switches on the back, the straps that held Dib in place vanished and Dib hit the floor with a thud.
Suddenly, the world zoomed back into normality and Dib picked himself up gingerly. Sideos just gaped at him in disbelief and only when Tak shouted at him did he snap back into the real world. "WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? GET HIM!"
Sideos just turned and nodded like it was nothing, his voice void of action. "Oh, ok then," But when he turned back to Dib his eyes danced with evil insanity and a twisted, much too large grin appeared on his lips. He raised his hands to his chest, ready to pounce.
His voice didn't hide that fact that he was lying. "I'm sorry to do this, Cuz...but I want my PAK back to normal and if that means you have to go...then that's just bad luck for you." Dib did the wisest possible thing to do when faced with a maniac. He turned and ran, faster then he had ever run in his life. Sideos turned his head as Dib fled, and he laughed, apparently amused by Dib's sharp exit.
His voice rang dawn the halls as Dib ran, mocking and deadly. "There's no point, Dib! Nobody has ever escaped me before and I doubt you will be the first. Run, run as fast as you can Dib, and hide. Because in thirty seconds I'm coming to find you. Thirty...twenty nine...twenty eight..."
Dib took the psycho's advice and ran through as many rooms and corridors as he could, but all the time he could hear that deadly countdown.
"...seventeen...sixteen..." It never seemed to be far away which scared Dib even more then the fact that he was being chased by a homicidal alien. All the time his eyes looked everywhere for something to help him fight back, but he could see nothing except endless testing equipment and holding pens. Suddenly, he turned a corner and almost ran into the wall blocking his path.
His eyes darted 'round as he began backing up, whispering in his panic ridden voice "A dead end! No, this can't be, no way! I...No..." Then, his eyes fell on something, so out of the way he almost missed it. Quickly he took advantage of what could quite possibly be his last chance to save himself.
"Three...two...one...zero." Sideos' evil voice drew out the last number. Dib shivered in the vent he had packed himself into. The vent was tiny and so hidden beneath the wires that covered the walls he had almost missed it. However, he could see clearly out through the metal casing covering the entrance. On the wall he saw the shadow of the thin Irkin rise slowly as he approached. It seemed the Irkin had followed him every step of the way.
More and more it climbed, until it reached its pinnacle point and Sideos himself walked past the entrance. Dibs whole body froze, except his heartbeat. He could feel it pumping faster and faster, as the Irkin began to look around the dead end for any trace of his 'cousin'. For a few moments that was all the world seemed to be, just the maniac standing at the entrance to the grid and Dib, stiller then the walls around him, inside. Finally, Sideos turned around and the shadow fell away slowly. Dib, however, stayed unmoving for a few more moments before, like a fox out of a hole, he moved to the entrance. Silently, he removed the grid and poked his head out. He could just see the maniac's shadow fall from the far corner of the corridor. Sighing with relief, he decided it would be best if he stayed in the vent. He replaced the grid and began to crawl further down the black tunnel.
As he crawled, he felt the tunnel rise and soon he found a stream of light, coming from a grid on the floor of the vent. Dib crawled over and looked down, realising that the vent had taken him above the rooms and he could now travel anywhere without the risk of Sideos finding him. He had a sudden brainwave and, after some extensive crawling, he found himself over the room he was looking for. The armoury.
Dropping through the grid, he landed with a slight thud in the middle of the armoury. He smiled victoriously at the weapons that were strewn around him and suddenly, Sideos didn't seem that scary.
He chose his weapons carefully, making sure to pick only the stun weapons. Despite his hatred of Sideos, he knew he couldn't kill him. Eventually, he decided on a long staff-like weapon that, once he found the on switch, glowed at the ends. As he tasted its weight in his hands a sudden crash behind him caused him to almost jump out of his skin and bring the staff 'round ready to fight. However, his eyes widened when he saw what it was, and he thanked his lucky stars.
He began walking, or rather sneaking, back towards the main room. He had been in Zim's base enough times to find his way around and so he quickly got back to the entrance of the main room. Peeking 'round the entrance, he spotted Zim, still tied to his table. Sideos was standing in front of the screen with Tak shouting at him.
Her voice screeched with rage. "You LOST Dib? YOU IDEOT! You're SIDEOS! You're not MENT to LOSE people! I thought you were the BEST!"
Sideos smashed his hands down onto the keyboard in anger, and even Tak flinched from his rage. "QUIET, FEMALE! Dib's good for a kid of his age...you even said so yourself. He'll show up sooner or later, SO JUST SIT TIGHT!" He shook his fist at the glaring Tak and bared his teeth in anger.
She slumped back in defeat and said rather huffily "Fine...You can get rid of Zim in the meanwhile." Zim suddenly began panicking and started pleading with the taller Irkin. "What? Wait, I'll leave if you want. Don't kill me...I'll destroy you if you do!"
Sideos turned 'round with an evil grin on his face and a dark light in his eyes. "Tak, make sure those codes are ready, I'm going to show you quite a display." He began advancing on the very scared looking Zim.
From Dibs position he began to consult himself over his next move. "Ok, now before you do this Dib think about it. You could wait until Sideos has killed Zim to jump out. But that would mean Tak would come here and Sideos would get his PAK codes. But then you could fight Tak. But then you may have to still fight Sideos." He turned and saw Sideos was almost on top of ZIm now. He rolled his eyes and cursed himself. "I carn't belive I'm going to do this..."
He was just standing over him with a claw raised menacingly over his head when a suddenly, Dib's voice rang out across the room. "Sideos, this time I'm really going to stop you. I thought you were going to get rid of one menace, but it seems like you were just going to replace it with an even more deadly one." Tak made something of a half smile, half grimace on the screen.
Sideos almost slid away from Zim to the centre of the room. He arched his back dangerously and shifted into a fighter's stance.
His eyes locked onto Dib's. "You made a big mistake, cousin. You could have got away, I honestly didn't want to kill you, but it now seems I'm going to anyway." His mouth sneered perversely. "I'll savour your insides when it comes to eating them."
Inside, Dib squirmed at the thought, but he steeled himself further and prepared for the inevitable attack. The whole room fell silent as the two squared off. Even Zim watched in fascination, as the two warriors waited for the signal to start. Suddenly, Sideos snapped forward, his hand held to the side of his head, as he lunged. Dib jumped and rolled away, as the Irkin stabbed his hand forward at a frightening speed. Dib recovered quickly and turned, swinging the electric staff at him. Sideos leaned back as the ripples of electricity missed him by inches.
He stabbed down at Dib's head which made Dib jumped back. However, Sideos immediately followed up with a second swipe at Dib's face. Dib dodged as quickly as he could, but he wasn't fast enough. He landed back with three long cuts on his face. He scowled as he felt the blood begin to swell and run across his cheek. Sideos licked his razor claw.
"Tasty." He licked his teeth then charged at Dib, but the boy was ready.He stabbed the staff forward, knocking Sideos' attack of balance. Before the Irkin could recover Dib swung again, aiming for Sideos' body. The Irkin dodged the attack, but the staff clipped his arm, sending a jolt through him. He jumped back, shouting loudly and clutching his arm.
Lifting his hand, he looked worriedly at the blackened scorch mark on his sleeve. He then looked haltingly at Dib, who smiled and said coolly "How tasty is it now?"
Sideos roared in anger, lunging at Dib and for a short time the two exchanged blows, Sideos getting shocked whenever he was knocked off balance and Dib getting cut whenever he wasn't fast enough. Eventually the fight paused, Sideos with his back to Zim and Dib with his back to Tak. They were both panting heavily, but Dib still held the staff towards Sideos and Sideos still held his fighting stance.
The Irkin grinned and narrowed his psychotic eyes. He sounded tired, but he also sounded deadly confident. "You can't keep me back forever. You're just a kid...I'm a highly trained Irkin invader. You won't win, you won't defeat me, you wont send me back to that...place." Dib smiled and then began to laugh. Sideos's eyes widened in surprise and he relaxed his stance slightly. "What…what is it?"
Dib stopped laughing, but he smiled widely. "I won't need to, look where I am, Sideos." The mad Irkin suddenly realised exactly what Dib had been doing.
He had taken him away from the keyboard.
Behind him, Zim looked puzzled. "What? What's going on? Tell ME!" Sideos's eyes narrowed, his voice dripping with malice, but it was underlined with a subtle panic. "You wouldn't...I would rip your arm off before you could even call them...and you don't even know how to call them."
Dib smirked and held one hand over the keyboard "One, I know enough about this system to call the police here and two I'm going to get a little helper to distract you."
Sideos would have cocked an eyebrow if he had one "A little helper?"
Dib grinned and shouted as loud as he could "GIR!" Suddenly Sideos crumpled to the floor as a little silver and green blur fell from the roof and onto his head.
Gir grabbed the sides of his face and yelled joyously "You like pigs, moose man?" Gir then grabbed his long antenna and yanked him off the floor.
Sideos screamed in pain and flailed about, trying to get the robot demon off his head. Zim just looked on, amazed that Gir was helping for once.
He shouted to his robot slave, half angry that he was helping him, but half relived that Sideos hadn't killed him. "GIR! What are you doing?"
Gir looked over to his master from the top of the screaming maniac's head. "Dib said this guy had cookies and muffins! I like piggys!"
Tak looked on helpless as Dib began franticly contacting the Irkin police. She shouted at him as he did. "Curse you, DIB! I always thought that you'd be the one to mess this plan up!"
Without looking up he simply replied "It's my job."
She panicked slightly, then a sly grin grew across her face. She looked over to a flailing Sideos who was still running around screaming. "Well, you're on your own. Tough break, Sideos. Better luck next time."
"BITCH!" His scream ripped though the labs as Tak's laughing face faded from the screen.
Zim shouted over from his position on the table. "Can you not track her?"
Dib looked up slightly from his work as he typed in the last co-ordinates. "I can't, she blocked the signal. She's got off scot free, I'm afraid."
"I know not of this 'scot' you talk of? Who is he and why is he so free?" Dib resisted the urge to bang his head on the nearest wall.
He turned to see Gir jumping up and down on Sideos' thin body, screaming "Bouncy castle, bouncy castle!" Dib strode over confidently and picked up the small water pistol that lay on the floor besides the tortured Irkin. Sideos went to make a grab for it, but Gir wrapped his arms round him, locking him in place.
Sideos growled at the robot's tight hug, then to Dib. "Dib, if you do anything to me I promise, I will kill you."
The trapped Irkin tried to dent his words with terror, but Dib looked him straight in the eye and said "You're going back to that cell where you belong."
Suddenly, Dib faltered, not because of Sideos' anger, or rage, but because there was something new in his eyes. Fear. "Please, don't send be back."
Dib levelled the pistol at Sideos and pulled the trigger. He had never felt so horrid in his life.
An hour later, Dib watched as the Irkin police dragged a still unconscious Sideos into the back of a small looking hover van and chained his arms to the walls, locking them in place with an eye scan. The Irkin police had been surprised at the hairy alien helping them, but when it came to this particular criminal, any help was grateful. As the ship flew off, Dib looked up at the sky. He had forgotten while he was underground in Zim's lab, that it was still daytime outside. He leant against the wonky fence of Zim's house, letting the sun warm his injured body. His mind drifted onto the crazed Irkin's last comment. He had almost pleaded for his life and Dib felt that he had sentenced him to death. However, something told him that he would see Sideos again one day, an Irkin like that defiantly follows up on his promises.
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AGGGG this took me so long to write and it's HORRIBLE! I hate ending things, its just so...annoying. And hard. And sad. Boo hoo. Anyway flick to the epilogue to read of poor Sideos' fate.