If Andrea would not go upstairs, then Rachel would go alone. It meant of course, that she would not hear anything from Emily because there would be no conversation to overhear. All she would be able to do was see what she was doing.
Rachel found Emily in a guest room, which was large and cheerless, much like a hotel room. As would be expected of a hotel room, there was a packed suitcase in one corner. Of course, it probably wasn't Emily's actual room. She had an apartment of her own - or used to have - and didn't actually live here. The plan must have been that she give up the apartment and stay with her father until the wedding. It was odd that she wasn't in the bedroom she had had as a child, rather than a guest room – but then, this might not have been the childhood home, or if it was, there might have been redecoration.
Emily was in a chair by the window, looking out. Rachel stood and looked over her shoulder at the outside but couldn't see anything worth staring at. She studied Emily's face. It was pale and sad, with blank eyes that that suggested that Emily was not looking at anything in the real world. She'll get over it, Rachel thought. She glanced down at her left hand. Emily wore no rings. If they hadn't got married there would be no wedding ring, but Ross had given her a ring of sorts that she wasn't wearing either. To judge by Emily's behaviour, it must have been Ross who changed his mind, for whatever reason otherwise she wouldn't be looking so sad. You can't live a lie though, Rachel told Emily, even though she couldn't be heard.
And what about herself? Ross must have changed his mind because he loved Rachel…
Rachel turned away. She had lost everything! Why should she feel sorry for Emily, who had lost only Ross? She still had her life. Rachel had nothing, nothing at all. And if Emily had not… Rachel went over all the things that Emily had not done to avoid this catastrophe. She should not have minded about being stood up for the Opera. She should have stormed off more effectively, so that Ross couldn't catch up with her. She should have stayed with Colin. The list went on.
All of these things, she should have done. Yet there she was sitting by the window, not even moving. Rachel wished she could be a poltergeist so that she could throw something. Not at Emily, because she was not a violent person, but just at the wall, to show that she still existed and that she was hurting, and that Emily had no right to be miserable when…
'Ems?' said a voice at the door. It was female but it wasn't Andrea. Rachel turned to see another young woman enter the room. Clearly not any kind of blood relative as she was black.
'Sonia?' Emily stood up but Sonia had already enveloped her in a hug.
'How you doin, Ems?' Rachel was startled to hear Joey's phrased used by Sonia in this way. Emily just shrugged. She sat back in her chair, turning it towards the room, while Sonia sat on the edge of the bed. 'They could have given you a better bed,' she remarked.
'It's not that bad,' Emily said dully.
'Yes it is,' Sonia said. 'It's clear that they don't want their guests staying long. And to put you here…' Emily shrugged, and Sonia changed tack. 'I came to see if you wanted to come out tonight. Nothing big, just a drink at the local. You and me, and maybe Christie. You could even stay over at mine, if you'd prefer. I'm sure my camp bed is better than this thing you've got. We won't talk about the wedding if you don't want to – and we will if you do want to.'
'It's all right,' Emily said, her voice subdued.
'You'll come then?' Emily shook her head.
'I don't want to. Not tonight.'
'It would do you good. Get you out, take you out of yourself.'
'That's what Andrea says.' Sonia said some uncomplimentary things about Andrea.
'I'm not talking about you going and getting blotto and picking some bloke up. I just mean that it would be good, for you to be out of this room, with your friends.' Emily shrugged again. There was a silence, and then Sonia asked, 'This Rachel, was she a friend of yours?' Rachel started. Why was she being mentioned by this stranger? Emily shook her head.
'I didn't really like her actually.' The hell you didn't, Rachel said, I didn't like you, and what's more, I didn't like you first, so there. 'I don't know. It's not fair to say I didn't like her. I didn't really know her, so I can't say she had a horrible personality or anything. Maybe I might have if I'd known her better.'
'So she was a good friend of theirs?'
'You could say that. They're all a bit enmeshed with each other. But there's more to it than that.'
'What?' Sonia frowned,
'She was Ross's ex.'
'Oh my God,' Sonia breathed. 'Oh Emily I'm so sorry. That's the worst thing that could have happened.'
'No,' Emily said quietly. 'The worst would have been Ross dying in a plane crash. Or Dad.'
'Yeah,' Sonia admitted, 'I know. How ex was she? You didn't break them up did you?'
'No, it had been over some time before, from what I hear. When I met her, she was actually after some other bloke.' What other bloke? Oh yes, Joshua. How irrelevant he seemed now. 'And he'd dated other women since they split up. But I was the one he got serious about.'
'But now she's come between you,' Sonia said. How, Rachel wanted to know. Exactly how?
'We could hardly get married when we'd just heard the news. They were in shock. Ross, and his friends. It would have been horrible, callous to just go ahead.' So that was what had happened. She had, in a very real sense, stopped the wedding. How could she have possibly imagined that this would be the way she had done it.
'Have you spoken to him since?'
'He called from New York when he got back.' So he was home again. That was where she needed to be. But she waited for more information.
'And? When are you going to see him?' Sonia urged.
'I didn't feel I could bring that up. And he didn't mention it. I don't know what's happening. But I'm not comfortable going out, in case he rings me. Do you see?'
'Of course,' Sonia said. 'Tell you what - how about I give Christie a bell, and we'll keep you company. She's got The Commitments.'
'All right,' Emily said, possibly more to be nice to Sonia than to accept the help being offered. Rachel had no interest in hanging around.
She had to get home.