Chapter 16 -- Prince Charming

When I was a little girl, I never had fantasies of being Cinderella, riding around in a carriage with six white horses and Prince Charming. I still didn't want to be Cinderella and even though I was in a carriage being pulled by two brown horses, I was pretty sure that Norrington was definitely not Prince Charming. He was close, though. Any man who remembered not only to pack a picnic hamper full of cheese, bread and wine but also cookies ranked pretty high. If Norrington didn't scare the crap out of me, the carriage ride might have been kind of romantic.

Norrington surveyed the empty hamper and uncorked the bottle of wine, passing it to me. "I'm afraid you'll have to sip straight from the bottle, Miss Plum. The road is too bumpy for wine glasses."

I took a small sip and passed it back. "Thanks."

"So."

"Yes?" Conversations that Norrington started with 'so' generally didn't bode well for the person on the other side.

"Have you given any thought to what you will do if you cannot go back?"

"No," I lied.

"Of course not." Norrington gave me a small, pitying smile. "You should think of it, Miss Plum, and think carefully. I know that you've established a rapport with Sparrow, but even you must know that pirates do not die in their dotage. They tend to die horribly, some at the end of a noose or others at the hands of enemies they've made or still more are even murdered by their own crews. Your fate, should such an event occur, would likely be worse than Sparrow's."

It took a minute for me to figure out what he was saying. "Oh."

"You haven't many other choices," Norrington continued. "I doubt you could successfully ply your trade as a bounty hunter in Port Royal, given the rarity of villains that I myself do not catch."

He was scaring the crap out me more than usual. "What else is there? It's not like you have a button factory I could work at."

"I suppose," he said, slowly, "there is marriage."

I snorted. "Yeah, because there's such a big singles scene down here."

"Townsfolk would be less likely to gossip about you and I would be able to temper your more reckless impulses, while keeping you out of trouble."

I blinked. It wasn't the wine, because I'd only had a small sip. "What are you talking about?"

"Marriage," he repeated.

"It almost sounds like you're suggesting marriage to you."

"I am."

The interior of the carriage seemed a lot smaller all of a sudden. "What?! How? Why? You don't even like me!"

"I might." A small smile crept across his face. "Just a little."

"Ohmigod. I'm gonna faint." I leaned forward and put my head between my legs. Hyperventilating was a lot safer than dealing with the situation at hand.

There was a low snort of self-deprecating laughter. "Don't worry, Miss Plum. Your reaction is quite normal. My proposals seem to have that effect on women."

That got me back upright again. "Your proposals – oh....Elizabeth."

"Well?"

"Well what?" It was my lamest effort ever at stalling.

"Will you at least consider it?"

"But you hate me," I babbled. "And I don't even know if you have hair under that wig."

He reached up and lifted off the wig, revealing thick dark brown hair. Without the wig, he looked much younger and I realized he was about the same age as Morelli. "Is there anything else you'd like to know?"

I shook my head and tried not to stare. Norrington wasn't just kind of hot. He was hot. Once you got him out of the wig and took the stick out of his ass, I was willing to bet he was downright sexy. I gave myself a mental head slap. This was one complication I really didn't need.

"Then perhaps you will allow me to satisfy my own curiosity." With that, he pulled me closer and kissed me.

It was unfair. Norrington was also a good kisser. I was four for four and it was starting to get really crowded in my life. When I thought Sparrow was a hallucination, fooling around with him didn't bother me because fooling around with a hallucination didn't mean I was cheating on Morelli. Now that I knew I really was in 1689, my Catholic guilt was starting to kick in but good.

Finally, he let go of me. "I apologize, Miss Plum. I was far bolder than propriety allows."

He didn't look sorry in the least as he put his wig back on.

Shooting me a smug smile, he settled back in his seat. "You will consider my proposal, won't you?"

"Uh....I guess."

"You guess?"

"There's still the little problem that we're not in love. In fact, you scare the crap out of me." Did I just admit that out loud?

"We could learn to love each other in time," Norrington told me. "Most couples do. As far as scaring you.... If it keeps you out of trouble, perhaps scaring you is not such a bad thing, is it?"

"Sparrow –"

"Will get you killed." He cocked his head at me. "On the other hand, you could very well be the death of him, given your propensity for getting yourself into trouble."

I rolled my eyes at him, but didn't have a chance to come up with a comeback because we were at the Turners' place.

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"Stay here," Norrington instructed me. "I'll be but a moment."

"Right." I shoved past him and slid out of the carriage, nearly falling over. I'd forgotten I was wearing a Buick.

He took my arm with a loud sigh and steered me towards the house. "Didn't Sparrow warn you about going off by your – what was it?"

"Onesies."

"Onesies," Norrington repeated, his nose wrinkling in distaste. "He wouldn't like to hear that you attempted it, would he?"

"He wouldn't like to hear that you bad-mouthed him and proposed to me, either."

"I doubt it would surprise him."

"Liar."

"Hardly." Norrington guided me to the Turners' front steps. He stopped abruptly and turned to me. "Go back to the carriage."

I saw what set him off. The front door was wide open. "Like hell."

I heard him mutter something about tempering my reckless impulses as we made our way into the Turners' house. It looked like somebody put up a fight. Vases and two of the dining room chairs were smashed. The smell of ozone was strong.

Elizabeth lay unconscious on the floor of the dining room. Norrington got to her first and lifted her head into his lap. After a few heart-stopping seconds, she started to come around.

"Will," she said, weakly. Her eyes met mine. "He took Will."

Now I really felt faint.

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Author's note: It's been a while since I've updated and I'd like to thank everybody who sent me subtle and not-so-subtle reminders to continue. I have a pretty demanding job and it just became the busy season. I'll try to keep the chapters coming. Thanks to all of you!! Hugs! In the meantime, if you need recommended reading, check out postings by Geekmama and Cinnamongrrl.