:Peeks out from behind Sesshomaru: Um……. :falls to knees: Pleeeeeaaaaaaaase don't kill me! I know! I know! It's been over a year since I updated! Oh my God….IT'S BEEN A FLIPPIN' YEAR SINCE I UPDATED!
Wow…..
You guys have been soooooo patient. COOKIES FOR ALL!
:Throws cookies to readers:
By the way, I have a wonderful excuse for not being able to update for so long. You see, I haven't had a computer or Internet for at least a year. It's been awful:sobs uncontrollably: But I intend to return to updating this story often. I've had to reread it like, ten times so I could remember everything. Lol….
My writing style might be a little different now. I've changed a lot in the past year, and so has my way of writing. So don't try to kill me if things seem a little different.
Disclaimer- I don't own Inuyasha.
When Kagome awoke in the morning, she didn't know where she was. For a minute, she thought she was still in Sesshomaru's palace. But then she saw the familiar surroundings of her room and, with an immense feeling of happiness, realized she was home.
She sat up in bed with a smile that soon turned to a grimace at the pain in her hands. Remembering last night, she noticed Sesshomaru was not in her room.
Leaping from her bed, Kagome raced through the house, looking for him. All the while she frantically thought of all the trouble a youkai could get into in this era. Stumbling down the stairs, she found him sitting on the couch. Souta was animatedly playing video games while Sesshomaru looked on in fascination.
"There you are. Why did you leave my room?" she asked, sitting down on the couch as well.
"This Sesshomaru has been awake for hours. I became bored with staring at your…..animal." he said, looking at Buyo with disdain. Sesshomaru noticed the color of her eyes, a light purple, and realized that must mean she was worried.
"Oh. You should have woken me up." Was all she said as she moved into the kitchen to get a bowl of cereal. Forgetting the box with moving pictures, Sesshomaru followed her.
"What are you ingesting?" he asked her, his nose crinkling with disgust. Kagome munched away, oblivious to his repulsion.
"It's good, you should try some. It's called cereal. People eat it all the time for breakfast."
"This Sesshomaru will do without breakfast." He said as he walked upstairs to her room. Kagome finished eating and began to walk back upstairs as well when she realized something. Frowning in confusion, she walked over to Souta.
"Souta, where is your friend that spent the night?" She noticed Souta's look of panic.
"He…uh…went home already. Yeah, his mom came and picked him up."
Kagome knew he was lying but didn't press for the truth. She walked back upstairs to her room.' He never had someone over last night…..So mom was just telling me that so Sesshomaru would have to sleep in my room! I can't believe it!' she didn't know whether to laugh or be angry. She opened the door to her room and went inside.
Sesshomaru was sitting on the floor by her window glaring at Buyo. Kagome smiled and lay on her bed with a sigh. The still warm blankets were tempting her back into sleep. It was so warm….and too early in the morning to wake up……..
"Kagome…." a voice pulled her back from the warm haze she was sinking into. She resisted it, trying to hold on to the feeling of complete bliss. "Kagome…." it called to her again. She felt a weight sinking onto the bed beside her. Feeling a warm body behind her, she sighed and snuggled into the arm that snaked under her neck. Another arm went over her stomach and pulled her closer to the warm body.
Kagome sighed, her bliss made more complete by the strong arms encircling her.
Sesshomaru's POVI watch her curl up on her bed, and suddenly I want to hold her. To be close to her. And who is this Sesshomaru to deny himself such pleasures?
I lay down next to her and pull her close to me, marveling at how her body seems to fit perfectly against mine.
End Sesshomaru's POVHe nuzzled her neck softly, reveling in the sensation of her satin skin against his lips. Kagome is suddenly more awake then she has been all morning. She is still as he begins to softly kiss her neck, leaving behind the feeling of being caressed by butterfly's wings.
She grins helplessly, trying in vain not to laugh.
"That…. tickles…." she says, losing the fight and laughing. Sesshomaru disregards this comment and continues his ravishing. He's licking and nipping her neck now, growling deep in his throat.
Kagome gasps, her laughing forgotten, as a warm feeling pools in her stomach.
"Sesshomaru……" she moans, her eyes closed. He growls loudly at hearing his name pass her lips.
He is suddenly on top of her, pressing down on her, feeling their bodies pressed together. Growling seductively in her ear, his hands find the hem of her shirt and slip underneath, feeling her smooth stomach. Kagome moans again, unable to suppress it. It feels too good…and she feels more alive then ever.
Her hands are tangled in his long silvery hair, and she loves the feel of it against her bare arms. His tongue swirls against her skin, he's moving ever so slowly towards her mouth. He leaves her skin feeling electrified. His hands don't move any farther up her shirt, and somewhere deep in the sane part of her mind, she's glad for that.
He finally catches her lips in a kiss. A slow, exploratory kiss. His tongue darts past her lips and teases her tongue. He's killing her so softly she can't even tell. Her mind is a haze, caught up in the physical bliss.
He moves away from her mouth and starts down her body. She groans as his lips leave hers, and he smiles smugly, knowing full well how badly she wants him. His hands stroke her sides, and she writhes underneath him, unable to remain still. He suddenly starts to pull down her pajama pants, and her sanity returns. She grabs her pants and holds them up.
"No, wait!" she says franticly. Sesshomaru pauses to look at her, his eyebrow raised questioningly. His lips are parted slightly and they're both breathing rather heavily.
"I can't…..I-I mean…..we just c-can't….." she avoids his piercing gaze. 'I can't do this….I can't do this….he's only toying with me. He doesn't love me.' He moves further down her body and his lips stop at her navel, testing. She bites her lip, suddenly very nervous. Her entire body feels exposed to him, and she hates the feeling of vulnerability. He begins to edge her pants back down.
"Sesshomaru, stop. I can't do this." She says weakly. He almost groans in agony. He needs to be inside her. He moves up to whisper in her ear.
"You ask a lot sometimes…." He growls, pressing himself on top of her. She gasps as his erection presses into her. She had no idea he was that turned on. She never thought she would turn him on.
"I'm sorry. I can't do this." She gently pushes him off of her, getting off of the bed. Without saying a word, she walks into the bathroom, leaving behind an extremely frustrated youkai sitting on her bed. Buyo jumped up on the bed and purrs at Sesshomaru.
He regarded the cat with murderous disdain.
"Be gone creature." He said with irritation. Buyo looked up at him innocently.
"Meow?" Meaning "What? I'm a sexy kitty." Sesshomaru glared at the cat.
"Not even if you were the last creature on earth." He gave the cat a swift kick and it flew out the door.
"Meow!" Meaning "#$# #$#". (An: Lol, I know that was the oddest thing ever, but I just had to throw it in there. Lol…perverted cat….poor Sesshomaru….)
In the bathroom, Kagome sat on the edge of the bathtub, feeling miserable. How could she tease him like that and not be woman enough to fulfill his needs?
She lay in the empty bathtub, her face in her hands. 'Will I ever be normal?' she wondered sadly. Looking at her sharp claws, and catching a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror, she chuckled bitterly. Her? Normal? Ha! That's like asking if the sky will ever be green.
Her predicament was finally sinking in and she goes over in her mind all the terrible things that are going on. (AN: I think people tend to do this in times of self-pity. I know I do, lol.)
Inuyasha hates her. Hates her enough to kill her. Even after all the time they've spent searching for the jewel shards, even after all the beautiful moments they shared, he still hates her.
Sesshomaru confused her. He acts like he wants her, but she knows it's just a superficial thing. He doesn't love her. She knows he doesn't. He can't possibly love her. Why should he love her? Inuyasha certainly couldn't.
She has to get married before her 18 birthday or she loses all her powers. She considered for a moment if this would be such a bad thing. She would be able to live a normal life and finish school. She would be just like everybody else. But then she realized that she has gone through way too much to ever be normal. She would hate to be like everybody else. She wouldn't be able to go through the well if she didn't have any shards and she wasn't a miko. And she could not live without the past.
She is now a demon. Forever condemned to bearing their curses and blessings. Humans will hate and fear her. She can never live a normal life in her own time. She can never go back to school or see any of her old friends again.
That was the one that got her. A sob tore from her throat and tears suddenly poured unhindered from her gray eyes. 'I can never go back to school…. I can never be normal.' Things looked so bleak to her. There was such an absence of hope. She was tired of…..everything. She once again looked franticly around for a means to an end. Rummaging through the bathroom cabinet, she found what she was looking for.
A pack of razors.
She takes one in her hand and finds a pair of scissors. Carefully trying to cut out the flimsy blade, it finally pops out of the plastic. She takes up the blade and sits on the lowered toilet seat.
Tentatively, she slices along her wrist.
Just a little cut, nothing serious. Her demon blood made the cut begin to heal, but it didn't heal very fast. ' That didn't hurt much,' she thought. 'I can take much more pain than that. After all I've been through? I can't believe I even felt that. ,' the dark part of her mind told her. She presses the blade inside the first incision and drags it down in a swift motion.
She gasped. This time it really hurt. It stung like fire. But she watched the blood gush out of her body and run down her arm in rivulets. It brought a sort of calm, even though her wrist still stung. It was like she was looking at herself from outside her body, watching herself continue to cut her arm. It wasn't her doing these things to herself, it was someone else. It was that other girl. Not her, she's a good person. She doesn't cut herself. Only crazy people do that.
Kagome watched herself close her eyes and take a deep breath as if bracing herself. Then she watched as she pressed down hard into the already deep incision and drags the blade towards her elbow. She watched as the blood gushed out from her arm, and she began to feel dizzy. Even though she was now a demon, she still couldn't stand to lose that much blood that quickly. And her arm wasn't even healing now. It was as if her demon blood knew she was trying to kill herself and decided to allow it. Her will to live must influence how she heals.
Kagome slumped into the corner of the bathroom, her face dry and her eyes wide. She wouldn't cry. She was stronger than that. It doesn't hurt, anyway. She can't feel it. She's tougher than that. This is nothing compared to what she feels on the inside. Nothing…
Sesshomaru's eyes opened wide in alarm. He had been resting on her bed, waiting for her to come out of the bathroom. But something wasn't right. There was something in the air that just wasn't right…What is it…?
Kagome's blood. Lots of it.
In a flash of silver, he's up and breaks down the door to the bathroom. What he sees makes his heart stop and he feels all the air leave his body, as if he's been sucker punched in the stomach.
Kagome is sitting propped up in the corner of the bathroom, and blood is pooled on the white tiles around her. So much blood….Her face is as pale as death itself and he wonders for a moment if she's still alive. But he can hear her heart beating. Weakly, but it's still beating.
He walks to her slowly, as if in a dream.
"Kagome…" he whispers painfully. Her eyes flicker and open slowly. She realizes he's standing there and an expression of sadness crosses her face.
"Sesshomaru…I….I'm sorry. I can't take it all anymore. I can't…." she cries. Her eyes close wearily, she's losing blood still. Sesshomaru swiftly picks her up and takes her into her room, laying her down on her bed. He goes back into the bathroom and finds the first aid kit. Finding bandages, he quickly wraps them around her bloody arm.
Suddenly deciding against telling her mother now, Sesshomaru quickly writes out a note saying that they left and thank you for answering their questions. Placing the paper on her bed, Sesshomaru picks up Kagome bridal style and leaps out her window, running to the shrine.
Without a second thought, he leaps through the well.
Bright lights and flashes indicate that the well worked, even though he had had no doubt it wouldn't. As he landed on the soft earth in the bottom of well in his time, he quickly leaps out of the well and begins to head home. Running as fast as he can, he gets there within a few hours, during which he had begun to seriously worry about Kagome's life.
He had thought her demon blood would begin to heal her, so he was surprised to find her arm the same as a few hours ago when he peeled off the bloody bandages. They were now back at his palace and he had taken Kagome to his room. He sat there with her arm resting on his knees, trying to think of why her body wasn't healing itself as it should.
"Sesshomaru…."a small but angry voice brought him out of his reverie. He looked down at Kagome, and noticed that her eyes were an odd shade of blackish purple. She was practically shaking from anger. Something had occurred to her as she drifted between life and death. She tried to sit up, grabbing the hilt of his tensuiga for support.
"Kagome, you shouldn't--"
"Don't!" she whispered fiercely, interrupting him. Sesshomaru was silent as she continued. "Don't you…..dare…bring me back." She ground out between tightly clenched teeth. She realized that if she died, he would simply bring her back. She was done with this life when she died she didn't want to return. She held his gaze.
"Kagome…"
"Promise me."
Sesshomaru blanched. A promise between youkai is a powerful thing, something that must not be broken. He couldn't possibly promise such a thing. He glared at her.
"No. I won't." he said resolutely. She blinked in surprise, her eyes changing to blue. Then anger took her once more, changing her eyes back to purplish black.
"Promise not to bring me back!" she said more forcefully.
"No." his eyes were ice, but she could see the concern for her in them. It angered her even more.
She pushed away from him and began to scratch at her arm, blood gushing forth once more, after he had just gotten it to stop. Her claws sliced new cuts, some deeper than the old ones. She clawed herself all over, her legs, her stomach, and her face…
"KAGOME!" he yelled, alarmed. He tried to hold her arms, but her anger fueled her and she pushed him away.
"PROMISE ME!" she screamed, tears running down her face. Her claws waited, poised above her skin. The air was still except for their breathing.
"I…. I promise." The words had scarcely left his lips before she collapsed; her burst of energy gone. She smiled in relief. Sesshomaru stood over her, tears were pouring down his face for the first time since he was a small child, and he did nothing to stop them.
"Kagome…I…." he seemed unable to tell her. Kagome looked up at him, puzzled, waiting for him to finish his sentence. Her breathing was getting more and more shallow, and her heart barely moved. She could feel herself drifting….floating away from him…..she could barely hear him at all…..He notices her eyes becoming cold.
"Kagome!"
Her heart stopped.
He holds her hand, gazing at her eyes, willing her to come back. But her vacant eyes began to turn black and he knows its no use.
"I love you…."
O.o……wow. You guys are so spoiled. This was an awesome chapter, if I do say so myself. And I do. .
I'm probably gonna get a million reviews now. I know how many of you guys have been looking forward to me updating. So tell me what you think! Give me your opinions, but try to be somewhat constructive. This was a hard chapter to write. I haven't written anything for this story in such a long time, so it was a little hard to get back into the swing of things. So don't bite my head off. .
R&R!
-AngelsTears15