Disclaimer: I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion. Evangelion belongs to Gainax, Hideaki Anno, and ADV Films. If they should ask, I will remove this story from public view. I also do not own Rammstein, from whom the title of this story is taken.
Thanks to all the people who reviewed the first chapter, negative or positive. I apologize that this chapter took so long to get out, but due to unforeseen circumstances, it took a lot longer than I had anticipated. Hopefully, you won't be disappointed.
RosenrotChapter 2: Deep Wells
It's the simple things in life you treasure.
This was the first thought that Asuka had as she was awoken by a beautiful smell wafting its way into her room from the kitchen. The scent of cooking eggs was a welcome thing for the German girl for two reasons. Firstly, the meager dinner she had fixed last night was not nearly enough to sustain her. Secondly, Misato did not know how to cook eggs.
Which meant that the person behind the stove must be…
Asuka slid her bedroom door open and walked out into the hallway, the aroma of food luring her toward the kitchen. As she looked around the corner, the sight that greeted her almost caused her to leap for joy. Shinji stood in front of the stove, an apron tied around himself and one of the earbuds from his SDAT player in his ear, whistling contentedly to himself as he whisked the eggs with a spatula. The expression of relaxation on the young man's face relieved Asuka greatly; if he had indeed regained some of his memories, his personality still remained considerably looser than it usually was.
Asuka entered the kitchen and took a seat at the table as Shinji noticed her presence. He removed the earbud and turned off the tape player. "Morning, Asuka," Shinji said, continuing to work on the eggs.
"Good morning, Shinji," the redhead responded. "How was your night?"
"It was… interesting." He chuckled. "I remembered some of the stuff you told me about more clearly, like the Evas and all that. I think the music helped – thanks for that. Oh, and I remembered something vitally important."
"What's that?" she asked, curious as to what the Third Child was about to divulge.
"I can cook. And that Misato's food should be banned by the Geneva Convention."
Asuka lifted her eyes unto the heavens. "God," she said, clasping her hands, "you are indeed merciful."
Shinji laughed and scooped the eggs onto a trio of plates, along with some toast that he had made as well, setting one of the plates in front of Asuka and one for himself at an empty place. He poured two glasses of orange juice for them, tossing the empty carton into the garbage one-handed, and then took his seat. They ate in silence for a while until both teenagers heard a crashing noise from Misato's room. Shinji set his fork down and watched as Misato entered the kitchen, retrieved a can of beer from the fridge, and went back into her room again. A few moments of stunned silence passed before Shinji laughed heartily.
"Yeah, I'd been meaning to ask you about that," Shinji said as he caught his breath. "Does she do that every morning?"
"Pretty much. I'm just glad she didn't do that yell thing that…" Asuka's sentence was cut off as a belch resounded, followed by the patented Yebisu War-Cry.
Shinji laughed so hard that he fell to the floor. Asuka just fumed.
"So," Shinji said as he climbed back up into his seat, "what's on the agenda for today?"
"Well, I don't have any plans. It's Sunday, so I guess there's not much to do. I figured you and I could go out and try to get some of your memory back."
Shinji finished his eggs and carried his plate over to the sink. "How are we gonna do that?" he asked as he washed the dish thoroughly.
"The only thing I can think of is to take you to familiar places to try and jumpstart your brain." Asuka already had a couple of places in mind; she only hoped it would be enough.
"Sounds like a plan," said Shinji. "When do we start?"
"After I get ready. I'm sick of this damned school uniform," Asuka said, the distaste evident in her voice.
"That's another thing I was gonna ask. Do I own anything but white button up shirts and black jeans?" Shinji indicated his choice of attire – the same thing he wore every day – with a tone that told Asuka he'd rather go naked.
"Let me put it this way: if you do… I've never seen it."
Shinji looked crestfallen for a brief moment. "There's got to be something," the young man said before returning to his room. Asuka chuckled and returned to her room as well, sifting through her wardrobe, looking for a more suitable ensemble.
After only a few moments of searching, the girl found something that suited her needs. It was a pale yellow sundress—a modestly cut one that came to about mid-thigh. The outfit was cute without being terribly revealing – perfect for someone like Asuka. As she changed into the dress, Asuka remembered the last time she had worn it. It was on the carrier when I was coming here from Germany, she reminisced, the feeling of nostalgia covering her like a warm blanket. That was the day we first met.
Asuka surveyed herself in the mirror. The dress fit as well as it had back then. Knock 'em dead, she thought, following with a swift mental kick in the ass. What the hell am I doing? I'm acting like I'm going on a date!
Some part of Asuka's mind told her it was wishful thinking.
Asuka exited the room and reentered the kitchen, wondering if Shinji had succeeded in finding some different clothing. He had. Shinji was leaning back in a chair, his feet propped up on the kitchen table. He was wearing a blue hooded sweatshirt and a pair of black shorts. On his head, he wore an orange and red baseball cap bearing a logo that Asuka didn't recognize—some sort of odd shape with a circle and some curved lines.
While seeing Shinji in different clothes came as somewhat of a shock, what the boy was holding almost made Asuka's eyes fall out of her skull. Clutched in Shinji's right hand was a Yebisu beer can. Asuka freaked.
"WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!" she shouted.
Shinji looked at the can. "So?"
"SO? It's BEER, you IDIOT!"
Again, Shinji examined the can. "I was thirsty."
The redhead seethed. She snatched the can from Shinji's grasp and poured the contents down the drain. "Your brain's already scrambled as it is! The last thing I need is you fucking up your head with alcohol!" Asuka growled and crushed the beer can on her forehead.
Shinji sighed and opened the refrigerator, extracting a can of KaraC. "You know," he said, popping the top on the can and taking a drink, "you sure worry a lot."
Asuka turned as red as a beet. Whether it was anger or embarrassment remained unclear to Shinji. "I do not!" the German girl said indignantly.
"Yes you do," Shinji said. "Just now you were worried about the beer, and last night you cooked dinner because you were worried about me. I could tell."
Her blush intensified, if such a thing were possible.
"Why?" Shinji asked.
"I don't worry about everything," Asuka retorted. "Just you." She had let the last part slip without realizing it. Before she could correct herself or toss out some sort of insult or something of the kind, Shinji butted in.
"Why? What reason do you have to worry?"
For a brief moment, Asuka considered telling him everything. She stood firm behind her decision from last night, however. He's better off in the dark for the moment, she thought, until he's ready. I'll tell him everything – just not now.
It hurt, to be sure. More than anything, Asuka wanted to tell Shinji about the feelings he had forgotten, as well as the ones that she was now beginning to embrace. But she knew that the knowledge would be wasted on him if she told him now. How could he feel that way if he doesn't even remember me? Hopefully, that knowledge would return in time.
Rather than answering the Third Child's inquiry, Asuka said, "Come on, we'd better get going." She took Shinji by the wrist and led him from the apartment.
Shinji said nothing further on the matter.
( 0 0 0 )
As they walked down the sidewalks in search of anything familiar, Asuka had a moment to fully contemplate the situation, something that she had not yet had a chance to do during the whirlwind of happenings recently. There were only a few of Shinji's regained memories that Asuka knew for sure about; he had only spoken of remembering Eva, vague details of select Angel attacks, and the fact that he could cook. Until Shinji became more vocal, Asuka would have to assume that he had not remembered anything further. She stopped walking in front of their school and led him onto the grounds.
"You getting any signals from the mother ship yet?" Asuka asked jokingly.
Shinji looked up and down the narrow courtyard. "I think… I think I got beat up here."
Asuka looked up at him. "What?"
"Yes, I'm sure of it," Shinji said. "A big guy with spiky hair… There was a guy with glasses, too, but he just watched. And there was something about the spiky haired guy's sister getting hurt."
Though she had not been present for the events, Asuka recognized the description of the two boys. "Touji Suzuhara was the one who beat you up. The one with the glasses was Kensuke Aida. They're friends of yours now."
Shinji looked puzzled. "Why would I be friends with them if one of them beat me up?"
"Don't look at me," Asuka said, a dismissive note blatantly evident in her voice. "It happened before I got here. Besides, why you'd want to be friends with those two anyway is beyond me."
"Shinji nodded, "I guess we can't go inside the school. Maybe we should go somewhere else."
"Okay, I think I have an idea."
Just as they turned to leave, a calm, hushed voice called out to them. "Ikari? Sohryu?"
Asuka turned and groaned. "Oh, it's you, Wonder Girl."
Rei Ayanami ignored the other girl's comment. "What are you doing?" the blue-haired girl asked.
"Not that it's any of your business," Asuka said sharply, "but I'm helping Shinji get his memory back."
"Is something wrong with him?" Rei asked.
Shinji looked at Rei inquisitively. "Wow. Cool hair. Is it natural, or did you do something to it?"
Rei nodded, ignoring him. "I see."
"You mean no one told you? Weird, I would have expected the Commander to tell you, of all people," Asuka said, the snide tone in her voice making her dislike for the First Child blatantly apparent.
Again, Rei refrained from commenting. Instead, she turned her attention to Shinji. "How much do you remember, Ikari?"
Shinji shrugged. "Not much. Eva, a few scattered bits of Angel attacks, and very little else." Shinji did remember one thing about the blue-haired girl, however: the vision of her smile after the Fifth Angel attack. The significance of that gesture was lost on the amnesiac, though, because he did not remember the countless other times that Rei had been stoic and virtually expressionless. As a result, Shinji's perception of Rei would be a completely blank slate – a fact that did not escape the astute First Child.
"Hey, Asuka!" Shinji exclaimed, "I just had an idea!"
Asuka faced him. "Yeah, what is it?"
"Maybe we could get her to help us get my memory back!" Shinji said, pointing his thumb at Rei.
Asuka felt her face drain of blood. The thought of Rei helping Shinji was enough to turn her stomach. I can't believe this, Asuka thought to herself, bile beginning to rise in her throat. She's gonna steal him from me! I can't let it happen!
But despite the feelings of indignation and resentment welling up in her heart, Asuka knew there were ways in which the First Child could help. Rei had at least been around Shinji before Asuka had arrived; there was bound to be something that the First could help him remember.
"Fine," Asuka eventually replied. "You two go. I think I'm gonna go visit Hikari or something."
"You're sure it's okay?" Shinji asked.
"Why are you asking my permission!" Asuka said harshly, causing the boy to recoil slightly. "It's not like you need it. Go on ahead."
Shinji looked at Asuka and then to Rei. "Okay," he said to the blue-haired girl. "I'll go." He then looked at Asuka. "I won't stay out too late or anything," he said with a grin.
Asuka said nothing; she merely nodded in response.
As they went their separate directions, Asuka could have sworn that she saw Shinji cast a longing glance over his shoulder, but she dismissed the notion quickly. Nothing more than a mirage, created by her lonely heart.
( 0 0 0 )
Hikari Horaki had just set a pot of tea on the stove when the doorbell rang, startling her out of the dreamlike state that the brown-haired girl had been in. The class rep scrambled out of the kitchen to the front door and opened it, surprised to see Asuka on the other side of the frame. "Oh, hello, Asuka," Hikari greeted her. "What's up?"
"Hey, Hikari. Listen… are you free today?" Asuka asked. Something in the redhead's voice told the class rep that this was not a typical visit.
"Uh, sure, I guess so. Where did you want to go?"
"Wherever, it doesn't matter." Another red flag – Asuka always had a clear plan in mind.
"Okay, come on in. I just put some tea on."
Asuka smiled and entered, leaving her shoes at the door. "Thanks, Hikari. It's a good thing you were home; I don't know what I would have done otherwise."
Hikari looked at her friend. "Is something wrong, Asuka?"
"I'm… not sure," Asuka said. The hesitation told Hikari quite clearly that there was something wrong. "Maybe I'm just being stupid or paranoid, but I have to make sure."
As the tea on the stove heated, Asuka filled Hikari in on the situation, about the Fifteenth Angel and Shinji's amnesia. Asuka told her about the few memories that he had regained and finally about their confrontation with Rei a little while ago. Hikari, frankly, was confused. "Why's this bugging you so badly? Is it because of Rei, or is it something else?"
"Both," was the redhead's cryptic reply.
"What do you mean?"
Asuka looked at her feet. "I… I think I like Shinji."
This statement surprised Hikari more than she let on. She always makes it seem like she hates Shinji—now she's saying that she likes him? This whole thing must have given her a change of heart. "So you like him. I guess it's about time you admitted it."
"It's… not that simple, Hikari," Asuka said.
"What?" Hikari said confusedly.
"I figured it out, Hikari. I know why he took all the crap that I gave him, why he never fought back. He loved me. He loved me! And now he can't remember it, because I needed help and he rushed to save me. I can't lose him now. I have to help him remember."
Hikari understood now. "You don't like him… You love him too, don't you?"
Slowly, the German girl nodded. "Now you see why this thing with Rei showing up is pissing me off so bad. She just showed up, and now Shinji's off doing God-only-knows-what with Wonder Girl!"
Hikari took the pot off the stove as she talked and poured two cups full of tea. "Ayanami doesn't really seem like the type to do anything… distasteful, though," she said as she handed Asuka one of the cups. "Neither does Shinji."
"No one really knows much about the First, though," Asuka countered, "and remember, Shinji's brain is completely addled right now. Who knows what could happen?"
"I still think you're blowing this out of proportion. I mean, I can understand why, but don't you think you might be overreacting?"
Asuka took a long sip of her tea. "I don't know. Maybe." She sighed. "Dammit, I hate this feeling. I'm worrying, and I don't even know if it's justified or not. This sucks."
Hikari nodded. "I can understand that."
"So," Asuka continued, "what should I do?"
Hikari looked at Asuka intently. "If I were in your shoes… I'd keep fighting. Like I said, though, I don't think Ayanami is trying to steal him from you, but you have to stay close to Shinji. Keep helping him get his memory back, and help him remember his feelings. Then make your move."
Asuka looked at her friend confusedly for a moment before she spoke again. "You know, that's a more forceful approach than I would have expected from you."
Hikari hesitated and blushed, realizing exactly how direct of an approach she had suggested. "Well, only about stuff like this. And besides, you're not exactly acting like yourself either."
"What do you mean?"
"The whole 'soul-baring confession' isn't something you'd usually do, right?" Hikari asked.
Asuka considered the notion for a moment. "Hmm. I guess you're right. Seems like no one is themselves lately."
Hikari shrugged. "Well, anyway, that's the only thing I can think to tell you."
Asuka nodded. "Thanks, Hikari," she said, pushing her chair back from the table and going to the front door. "And thanks for the tea."
"What are you going to do, Asuka?" Hikari asked.
Asuka grinned. "Starting a fight." And with that, Asuka slipped her shoes on and left the house.
Hikari collected the empty tea dishes and took them to the sink. "Good luck, Asuka."
( 0 0 0 )
Rei opened her apartment door and allowed Shinji inside, not bothering to turn on the lights due to the bright rays streaming through the single window in the main room. Shinji slipped his shoes off at the door and entered slowly, taking a few hesitant steps inside before Rei began following. He surveyed the apartment for a while, pausing for an extra few seconds to examine the cabinet in the corner, upon which sat a beaker of water and a pair of glasses.
"This is where you live?" Shinji asked, meandering around the room and taking in the atmosphere of the place.
"Yes," Rei responded with a nod.
"Why are we here anyway?"
"There have only been a handful of times when the two of us have talked," Rei said, "and of these, a majority of them have taken place here. Do you remember anything?"
Shinji thought for a moment, his eyes making another sweep of the room and eventually falling upon the pair of glasses. "Are those yours?"
There was a moment's hesitation before Rei said, "…No."
"I didn't think so," Shinji said, an odd expression on his face.
"What is it?" Rei inquired.
Shinji grinned. "I remember when I came here to deliver your ID card… I put the glasses on, then you came and took them, and… and…"
"You fell on top of me," Rei finished.
"Yeah. Damn, talk about awkward."
"Awkward?"
"Well, it's not like I end up in that situation very often, you know?"
Rei nodded and murmured. "Is that all you remember?"
In truth, a blurred image was showing in Shinji's mind, relating once again to the pair of glasses. A hazy picture of a man behind a desk, the spectacles reflecting the fluorescent glow of the lights and obscuring the man's eyes from view. He moved, and his cold brown eyes became visible.
Shinji flinched.
"Is something the matter?" he heard Rei say.
"Whose glasses are those?" Shinji asked without hesitation.
"Commander Ikari's," the blue-haired girl answered.
"I see," Shinji said. "So… why do you have them?"
Rei said nothing.
Shinji looked at his feet, knowing he had crossed some sort of boundary that he should not have. "Never mind then," he said, trying to pass off his unintentional intrusion. "I guess I'd better get going." He started for the door and slipped his shoes on. "Asuka's probably home by now."
Rei nodded. "Goodbye then, Ikari."
"Bye," he said, slipping out the door.
The girl moved back into the apartment, glancing at the glasses with a look that would make grown men quake with fear.
( 0 0 0 )
Asuka flicked the TV off, sighing and resigning herself to an unavoidable fact of life: after so many years of broadcasting, there was still nothing on television that was worth watching, especially not at a time like this. She looked around the apartment blankly, searching for anything to occupy the time. After a few moments of fruitless inactivity, Asuka retreated to her room and returned with a book, flopping unceremoniously back onto the couch.
I hate being bored, Asuka mused, flipping to a random page (for she had read this book many times before) and beginning to read. But despite her desire to take her mind off of things, the book was simply not enough to occupy her.
Damn, she swore, tossing the book to the ground, where is he? Shinji had not returned yet, and the sun was starting to change to warmer colors. Asuka glanced and the clock and groaned. What am I getting so worked up over, anyway? It's not my business when he gets home. He can take care of himself.
It was only then that Asuka remembered: in his current state, he probably couldn't.
Before this thought could spark another tirade of worrying, the apartment's front door opened and Asuka bolted upright. She relaxed, however, when Misato entered the room.
"Hi, Asuka," the woman said, setting a couple of grocery bags onto the table.
Asuka merely grumbled a halfhearted reply.
"Where's Shinji?" Misato asked, beginning to put away the groceries, which consisted mainly of ramen, much to Asuka's distaste.
"With Wonder-Girl."
"Rei?"
"That's what I said. Wonder-Girl."
Misato sighed, not wanting to even start with Asuka's ill feelings towards the First Child. "So you two ran into her while you were out?"
"Yeah, while we were trying to get Shinji's memory back. He went with her, and I went to Hikari's and then came back here."
"So you just let him go then?"
"Why shouldn't I?" Asuka said, a bit more defensively than she had intended. "As much as I hate that girl, she has known him longer than I have. She might be able to help him remember something."
"Well, maybe, but that's not quite what I meant."
"What did you mean, then?" Asuka asked, finally directing all of her attention toward her guardian.
"I don't know. I guess it was because you seemed so adamant about helping him when he first came home from the hospital. For you to just let him go off like that seems… weird, somehow."
"Ah," Asuka said in realization. "Well, screw it. Like I said, what he does isn't my business."
Misato shrugged and sighed, seeing that the discussion was going nowhere, despite her attempts to show Asuka reason. She retrieved a beer can from the fridge but stopped to gaze at the pullout rack for an extra moment or two. "Hey, has someone been drinking my Yebisu?"
Asuka looked at Misato as thought she had sprouted extra ears. "What are you talking about?"
"One of the cans is missing!"
Asuka raised an eyebrow. "As much of that shit as you drink, how do you keep track?"
Misato considered this, scratching her chin thoughtfully, before waving it off and opening the can she was holding. When the woman's back was turned, Asuka smiled, remembering the beer that she had caught Shinji drinking that morning. She fell upon the couch once more.
"Anyway," Misato went on, "I'm pulling night duty tonight, so you and Shinji will be on your own."
"That means I won't have to starve to death," Asuka said, suppressing a laugh.
"I'll ignore that. And I brought some food home…"
"Anything other than ramen packets?"
"Yes, now shut up!" Misato said indignantly. "I'll be back later tonight or early tomorrow morning. At least, I hope so." With that, Misato scooped up her car keys and headed for the door. "See ya later."
"Bye," Asuka replied, waving a hand over the couch. Misato exited the apartment, her departure indicated by the swishing of automatic doors, and the redhead was left alone in the apartment once again. It had not been more than a few minutes when the door opened again, and the soft thumping of footsteps made its way into the main room.
"Sorry I'm late," Asuka heard Shinji say, "I got a little lost on the way here. Finally remembered where the place was."
Maintaining her air of casual indifference as best she could, Asuka looked over the top of the couch at him. "So, how did your romp with Wonder-Girl go?" As soon as the words left her mouth, Asuka slapped her palm to her forehead. So much for indifference!
Wisely choosing to overlook her odd behavior, Shinji shrugged noncommittally. "Didn't really remember anything." He neglected to mention his recollection of the incident that had occurred in Rei's apartment; Shinji felt it was of little significance.
Asuka sighed and shrugged. Í guess I shouldn't have expected anything out of her; the First isn't exactly reliable."
"Yeah, I guess not," Shinji said, a bit of guilt worming its way into his mind. Making a judgment about someone he hardly knew didn't feel right, but he would rather do that than risk angering Asuka. "She didn't really talk much. Seemed a bit standoffish, don't you think?"
"She's always like that, thinking that she's so perfect just because she's the Commander's little toy…"
"Somehow," Shinji interrupted, "I think there's more to it than that."
Asuka made an angry kind of snort and collapsed onto the couch lengthways. "Whatever. I don't want to talk about that bitch, if I can avoid it."
"All right then," Shinji said. He leaned against the couch and looked down at Asuka. She met his gaze.
"So, you haven't found anything new?"
"No, I don't…" As he spoke, he looked into Asuka's eyes, and a sharp jab of pain entered his mind, coupled with a painful remembrance. Shinji clapped a hand to his forehead in an attempt to stifle the discomfort, but the recollection thrust itself upon him mercilessly, clawing into his psyche and dredging up a haunting memory.
( 0 0 0 )
The taste of blood filled his mouth as the LCL flowed into his lungs, a most sickening sensation, but it could not compare to the torture that Shinji was enduring currently.
He could feel the Angel penetrating his mind, and the feelings of his past were amplified and shoved under his eyes. Loneliness…Anger…Despair… All of them collected and used against him like weapons. Shinji gritted his teeth, but his resolve continued to waver. He looked around futilely for an escape but found nothing except what he feared most: Asuka's face, looking at him from the communications channel.
Shinji felt his mind snap. A scream erupted from his mouth, and everything went black.
( 0 0 0 )
When his eyes opened again, Shinji was on the floor (which appeared vertical from his standpoint), and a dull ache pounded in his skull. Asuka's head became visible as she leaned into his field of vision. "Are you all right?" she asked, her voice sounding kind of panicked. The tone of the girl's voice, however, was the last thing on Shinji's mind.
"What happened to me?" the boy asked in a stern voice.
"I don't know, you just sort of passed out, and…"
"No," Shinji interrupted, not bothering to raise himself from the floor. "I meant how did I end up this way? How did I lose my memory?"
This was the moment – one of many, as a matter of fact – that she had been dreading. She decided, though, that it would be better to come clean now than to keep the truth from him any longer. "There was… an accident. You tried to save me from one of the Angels… and you did, but the Angel attacked your mind. It damaged your brain, and you forgot everything."
There was a dark silence, like a black veil separating the two teenagers and shrouding their thoughts from one another. Asuka forced a laugh, attempting to ease the mood. "I guess that's what you get for trying to be a hero. Idiot." She said this, however, not out of malice but rather with an odd kind of affection, as though to hide her true emotions behind the guise of an insult.
A sickly, strained grin passed across Shinji's face. "But… did I know how dangerous it was when I did it?"
"Of course! If you didn't, you're even dumber than I thought."
Shinji made a thoughtful noise. "So, why did I do it?" He looked deep into Asuka's eyes as he asked this, scouring her face for even the slightest hint of dishonesty.
"I…" Asuka hesitated, the words forming an inert lump in her throat. There was always the answer she suspected but had no proof of: that Shinji had had feelings for her.
"I don't know," Asuka finally choked out.
Shinji's sharp gaze penetrated her to the core. "You're hiding something," he said as he lifted himself from the floor, straightening his hat.
"What makes you say that?" Asuka said, indignation in every syllable.
Shinji faced her, no more than a foot of distance separating them. "You're trembling," the young man said soothingly, placing his hands gently and comfortingly upon Asuka's shoulders. A glimmer in his eyes accentuated the soft smile on his face, and Asuka saw the old Shinji in the expression that he made. He was trapped, buried, but he was still there.
"Is something wrong?" Shinji asked, his voice only just above a whisper.
"Since when do you think you can read my mind!" Asuka shouted, knocking his hands away from her shoulders. As soon as she did this, a shiver wracked her body, but the redhead ignored the peculiar sensation. "Don't even think for a second that you can start trying to help me! I don't need your help!"
Shinji frowned. "Yes you do."
Asuka glared at him. "What did you just say?"
"You need my help as much as I need yours."
The girl scoffed, throwing her hands into the air. "And how are you supposed to do that when you don't know a goddamn thing about me!"
"If you were always like this," Shinji said levelly, unperturbed by Asuka's display of anger, "then I wouldn't know anything about you to begin with."
Snarling, Asuka reared her hand back and brought it forward toward Shinji's face with enough force to lay the boy out flat.
The blow never landed.
Faster than Asuka could react, Shinji's hand lashed out and caught her arm around the wrist. The sunned redhead now found herself staring into the Japanese boy's face, which now had a hardened expression on it. The look he was giving her, along with his defensive move, proved something to Asuka: even if they recovered his memory, Shinji had changed. Possibly forever.
Without the memories of his past, Asuka realized that there was nothing holding Shinji back from doing as he pleased. That explains why he's acting more boldly, Asuka thought. His past, his memories were what made him so reserved. Without them… he's a normal guy.
"Let go," Asuka said.
"Not until you tell me what the problem is," Shinji replied resolutely.
"You wouldn't understand."
"How do you know if you don't try?"
"No one understands!" the girl cried, wrenching her arm from Shinji's grip. "This is my problem, and I'll deal with it!"
"You tried to help me; at least let me try to help you."
Without another word, Asuka stormed into her room and slammed the door shut. Shinji sighed and collapsed onto the couch, his head aching terribly. Part of this was due to him falling on the floor a while ago, but it was mostly brought on by stress.
Between trying to regain his memory (and the beginnings of comprehension of the painful puzzle) and worrying about Asuka and her problems, Shinji was a mess.
( 0 0 0 )
Asuka jolted upright, her hair falling over her shoulders and sweat drenching her pale form. The girl looked like a ghost, her eyes widened with the sudden shock of leaving a nightmare behind and being thrust into reality. Gasping for breath, Asuka wiped some of the perspiration from her brow and held her breath, trying to calm herself down. The vivid images of the nightmarish flashback lingered like pale specters in her mind, taunting her with voices of days gone by.
Don't stop being my mother!
Asuka flinched at the recollection and quickly withdrew from the bed, walking into the bathroom and running the faucet. She placed a washcloth under the water and wiped her face and arms, ridding herself of some of the sickening sensations.
Why did I have to remember that? Asuka thought angrily. I never want to think about that again.
She was not naïve enough to truly believe that the past would ever fully disappear.
Asuka glared balefully at her reflection for a moment before exiting the bathroom and heading for the kitchen and the fridge. She saw a box on the counter that was labeled "Spicy Curry Bread," and she cringed. If that's Misato's idea of groceries, I don't even want to see the rest of the stuff she got. As she reached for the refrigerator, Asuka could hear the faint sounds of music coming from the living room, accompanied by a soft male voice.
"Cum sancto spiritu in Gloria Dei patris, Dei patris, Amen."
Asuka peered to the side of the couch and saw Shinji lying down, staring blankly at the ceiling. He waved a single finger to the beat of the music, singing the melody of the song with a voice that made Asuka feel at ease, despite her nightmares before. Suddenly, Shinji noticed her and he silenced himself quickly.
"Sorry," Shinji whispered, "I hope I didn't wake you."
Asuka shrugged. "What are you listening to, anyway?"
"Vivaldi," the boy replied. "I just now remembered the words."
Asuka nodded. "Listen, about earlier…"
"It was my fault," Shinji cut in. "I shouldn't have been prying into stuff like that. It's not my business."
Asuka chuckled and sat down on the couch. "Even without your memories, you still apologize for everything."
"I guess so."
"I don't guess I ever told you anything about my past. I mean… about the two of us," Asuka said after a few moments of silence.
"It's okay, you don't have to," the boy said.
"It's about you anyway; I figure you of all people deserve to know."
"What do you mean?"
"I can't be sure, but… I think… I think you loved me," the girl said, a note of hesitation in her voice.
Shinji paused for a moment before he responded. "That was what you've been worried about all this time?"
"Yeah."
Shinji chuckled. "Well, now I guess everything makes more sense. Explains why I risked my life to save you."
Asuka nodded. "I never did thank you for that," she said, smiling.
"What are friends for?" Shinji said, also smiling.
There was a long, pregnant silence between the two, each one lost in their own feelings. Shinji was the first to speak. "So… what did you feel about me?"
Asuka contemplated this for a moment before she replied, "I'm not really sure. I've been trying to figure that out for the past few days."
Another silence fell before Asuka spoke again.
"Kiss me."
Shinji flinched, looking at her wide-eyed. "What?"
"I need to know something. Just… let me, please?"
Shinji looked at her intently. "You're not gonna hold my nose shut, are you?"
Asuka laughed. "No, not this time. Not unless you want me to, that is."
"I'd rather like to breathe, thanks," the boy responded. After a moment, he gulped. "All right." Shinji edged closer to Asuka, whose eyes drifted shut as she too inched closer toward him.
Their lips made contact, and Shinji's mind exploded. White-hot light flooded his consciousness, and a seemingly endless torrent of emotion and memory flew past his eyes, rewiring his brain and re-forging old connections that had been damaged by the Angel's psychic barrage.
In a single moment, Shinji Ikari returned.
He remembered everything.
Author's Notes: I apologize for the delay in this chapter. Hopefully the final chapter will be a lot faster in appearing than this one.
Prereading credit for this goes to Scout and That Other Guy, as always. Thanks!
PS: Bonus points to anyone who can spot the three (count 'em, three) FLCL references in this chapter.
PPS: More bonus points to anyone who can catch the jab at everyone who said Asuka was OOC in the last chapter.