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Chapter 10: How To See Things In The Eyes Of An Angel
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When I'm thinking, I don't really talky-walk the way I do when I'm speaking to other people… or him, really. Before I met him… or rather, Kotaroh-kun, I spoke the way I was taught. Angel-wangels are pretty casual, they speak like people do, su… they're not that unusual or unique in what they say. But he wanted me to be different. So that's what I became.
But some timey-wimes, su, since It's grown so common to me, I catch my thoughts speaking out as my voice. When you speak a certain way for awhile your mind begins to pick up that language. But most of the time you speak to yourself the way you were taught when you were borny-worn. A person who speaks English first and then learns a new language… they will always speak to themselves in english. But like me, some words of that "second" language replace how you think.
Anyway, hee hee, now that I've explained that to you, su… I should get back to the story.
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I'm looking into his eyes again… I can't stop thinking about it. It seems like a dreamy-weam and I'm just expecting to wakey up to darkness. Then I'd realize my head's in the pillow and I'm back in the Angel-realm. Dreams can seem so real… But even though my mind is doubting it, su… this can't be a dream. Dreams don't hurt this much.
I'm lying againy-wain… I'm lying to my Kotarou-kun who has never ever lied to me in my lifey-wife… Sasha and everyone would be so disappointed in my now, su… But I don't have the hearty-weart to put him down.
Ah! They have a new waitress here! Oh my… It's so different. I know Shia-chan's goney-wone but I feels like I should be seeing her right now… That sweet smile she always gives. Shia-chan was always so nicey-wice… she didn't deserve what she got, su…
…His face is distracting me. It's so hard to focus on one thing. He just keeps coming back into thought and it's so hard to think when I'm with him. Actually, it was hard to thinky-wink when I was without hims too… suuuuuu… that's why that condition of Sashy-chan's was made in the first place…
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"But, su… what's da condition?"
"oh!" Sasha remembered. "The condition is that you have to promise not to think about him anymore."
Misha blinked dumbfounded. She let out a very silent nervous chuckle and smiled sheepishly. "Whats ya mean, su?"
"Think about it for a second, Misha." Sasha replied giving her a long stern stare. "You'll always be thinking of wonder boy, won't you?"
Misha stayed still and then nodded. "Of course…I wove 'im…"
Sasha crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. She sighed and tried to explain her statement with another little hint. "So uh, Misha, babe… No matter what happens you won't ever stop thinking about him?"
"Yes, su… He's always in my thoughts…"
"Well theres one way to get rid of that." Sasha walked up to Misha and pressed a finger in the middle of her forehead. "There's always at least ONE way…"
Misha slumped and the pressure on her forehead was beginning to give her a headache. "…Whats datty-wat…?"
"We simply make you forget everything."
It took a few seconds to process, but it hit pretty hard once it did. Misha jerked back slightly, tears forming in her eyes almost immediately. "What do you mean, su!"
Sasha crossed her arms again. "You know what I mean, Misha-san."
Every detail in Misha's face was exaggerated. Her expression showed a little more than it should. And what she was feeling at the moment was devastation mixed with a slight confusion. "Forget Kotarou-kun? Su! I could never do that…"
"You don't have to do a thing." Sasha exclaimed, turning her back to Misha so she couldn't see her face. Guilt. "the PTB have a way with dealing with this. They just read a few lines from the book and poof, every memory of that Kotarou kid is gone, right from the beginning; Kotaroh, wonder boy, That demon girl, mr. handsome, everything."
Misha couldn't believe what she was hearing. It poured into her mind so fast. She was beginning to feel faint and her heart was racing with incredible speed. "You wouldn't do that…" she managed to whisper out. "How would Kotarou feel…if he knew I just forgot about him…?"
"Oh, he won't know." Sasha began to walk forward down the hall. "That's the thing Misha, he doesn't get to remember any of this either. In fact, I think it'd just be better if we ALL forgot, don't you think?"
Misha's feet wanted to stay still in one place. She wanted to crash to her kneels and lay flat on the floor. Her mind was numb, her expression was none. But her heart was still alive and in so much pain. She wouldn't let this happen, and she began to follow Sasha. "I won't let you just leave like this…!"
Sasha's ears rang a little from the loud hard stomps Misha was pounding onto the floor. She stopped and turned around to face her sister. "What do you want Misha?" she snapped, striking Misha unto her knees. She hit the floor with a yelp and a sob like a child would act if it's mother was walking away from it. Sasha flinched but kept that face. "Which do you prefer? Never seeing Kotarou-kun again and continuing to think of him ever single second in pain and regret? Thinking of how much you want him and how you wish you could hold him?"
Misha sniffled and hiccupped, trying to keep her mouth shut and the tears in… but neither of them worked out. Her face was getting red.
Sasha noticed Misha was trying to calm herself down and so she continued. "OR… being able to see him and hold him one last time and never have the burden of longings for him ever again."
Misha began to tremble and she shut her eyes, pushing down a river of tears. What Sasha was saying was starting to make sense but she was a little too emotional to accept it quite yet.
Sasha's eyes blurred with mist. Seeing her sister like this always broke her heart… yet she always seemed to continue beating down on her. "It's your decision…but you should know that wonder boy has longings for you too…"
Misha blinked and looked up at Sasha with a puzzled yet miserable face. She was too hysterical to speak. But her expression asked the question for her.
"He's slowly getting miserable again…just like you. He's starting to wish he had you again and it's beginning to break his heart. He longs for you everyday, only getting sadder and sadder by the hour… Don't you see…? He could have you for one day… and never have to deal with this pain that he's feeling ever again."
Misha was beginning to understand it. It was harsh and cold and it made her want to cry even harder when she thought about it… But it made sense. None of them could ever be truly happy with that burden on them. They were finally what they both wanted to be and they couldn't even be happy with it without each other…and it hurt more than anything to Misha. The thought of seeing him was so tempting… but the thought of what would happen afterwords made her sick. But she had to decide…What did she want more…?
"Well…?" Sasha tapped her foot impatiently. "What do you say Misha…?"
Misha wiped the tears off her face, as a cat does when cleaning off it's fur. After a few moments of being frozen, she put her hands infront of her and began to pull herself up. She was so weak and drained, but she used all her strength to get herself back onto her feet.
Sasha's stern face was gone and it was replaced with a worried guilty expression. She wanted to reach out and help but all she could do was watch with crossed arms. "…"
And Misha was standing, her head hanging down. And with the last strength she had, she lifted her head to look Sasha in the eye; her's glistening with tears.
And in that second her mind made a decision.
"Deal…"
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……… It's too much pain, su… It hurts so bad when I think about it… But I know, Sashy-chan was right. It'll be better-wetter for bothies of us… and this is my last day with him… I didn't want to tell him because I wanted him to be so happy… I didn't want him to think about what was going to happen… but here I am, spending this time with him, and I can't get it out of my mind, su... I love him... I love my kotarou-kun... and If i love him so much... then why am I so sad...?
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END CHAPTER 10.
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I thought I'd make one from Misha's point of view. You can already guess this story is gonna be hella long, lol. But atleast now you know the condition. But the ending has a little twist so I hope you stay with me until it's over. And don't worry, not all the characters have appeared yet. Infact I think there's a little room for one more.
Thanks again for reading.
- Cappy