Dedicated to: Interlude SSP 2005. Much love to all the fellow Santas/Recepients
Hyperreality
Definition: "The simulation of something which never really existed." (Baudrillard)
There is more to synchroneity than doing the exact same thing at the same time. Being in sync with someone bespoke of something more than those heart-soul connections that romance novels were always screaming about. It was the kind of thing that true love was supposed to be made of. If true love existed of course.
Sanzo reads his newspaper in the morning with his coffee and first cigarette. This habit was unchanged since his days at Chang'An. This was -his- peaceful time. Even the two noise makers (Sanzo dubbed them Chaos 1 and 2 in his head) knew better than to annoy him at this hour. Lucky for all involved, Sanzo was never disturbed in his morning ritual probably because Goku and Gojyo were not even awake yet. Sanzo reads about facts and figures. Things that are real -- events that happened to real people with real lives. This is what Sanzo does. But he doesn't forget that everything is subjective. Reports in the newspapers depend on the point of view of the writer. Sanzo doesn't forget but then again, he doesn't really care.
Where Sanzo reads in the morning, Hakkai reads at night. Both of them are natural scholars in their own ways and both are voracious readers. When the day is winding to a pause, when there are no more screaming demands for Hakkai, he settles down in his bed to read. Sanzo never complains about Hakkai's night-light being on while he tries to sleep. Hakkai reading is quiet, unobtrusive. But it is Hakkai's quiet time. Sanzo has long ago stopped watching his companion when he reads. He knows the drill - the intensity invested in every page, the smiles, the chuckles and sometimes the thoughtful look or tear. He stops watching Hakkai because it gets disturbing to be reminded that Hakkai can express other emotions other than a smile (his default) or a not-smile (Sanzo didn't have the other words to describe it). He isn't sure what Hakkai reads but it definitely wasn't the newspaper. Hakkai hardly touches them. He knows Hakkai visits the local bookshop everytime they reach a town. So what he reads must surely be fiction, maybe a bit of poetry. Sanzo thinks that Hakkai doesn't need anymore reality in his life. It's always better if that interesting thing happened to someone else. It's easier to empathize than suffering through the pain. Life automatically becomes easier. Hakkai deals with fiction, stories that are not true. But every writer knows that most stories have truth weaved between every other word and every other line. Hakkai reads of words designed to lull the brain. He probably knows this and gladly embraces it.
Hakkai never talks to him while he was reading. There was no insight waiting to be shared, no clever lines to repeat. The Hakkai who is reading is a wall. It never used to disturb him. While they were fighting the youkai, he was always too tired to care. The fighting had sapped his energy and by dark all he wanted was to sleep. But now that there were no more youkai to fight, it was too stupid to pretend not to care. What were in those books, those stories that could engross Hakkai so? He was a learned man, he read scriptures for a living. He was interested in this dammit. Sanzo never did pry. Hakkai deserved his privacy and Sanzo could never deny him that.
There is no such thing as the Journey ending. They did stop the resurrection of Gyumao but that meant nothing. The Sanzo-Ikkou lost more than they gained on the god-forsaken journey to the west. And now they were on a extended jouney; this time maybe to heal old wounds. Maybe this time, they'll actually gain something from it all.
They are actually having a picnic now. Imagine that. Hakkai made good on his promise three years too late but they had the time. It was perfect: red and white checkered plastic sheets spread on the forest floor, several picnic baskets to satisfy even Goku and the implicit permission to have fun. Hammocks were set up and Gojyo was already baiting Goku to come closer to the water to dunk him. If Sanzo really tried, he would have heard the two Chaoses reminising about fighting zombies.
The quieter half of the Sanzo-Ikkou leaned themselves against a tree nearby. It was not morning but it was not night either. Technically it wasn't time for either of them to bring out their newspapers or books to read or hide behind. So they didn't read. They just sat and watched at nothing and at everything -- as long as they didn't have to face each other.
"Sanzo?"
"Hn."
" We have nothing more to risk on this journey, I think."
Sanzo slows his breathing and wonders aloud, " Where are you going with this?"
"We're going nowhere but going everwhere else." Love me, please.
He can't see Hakkai but senses some kind of frustration: a plea unspoken, perhaps? He was a monk. Contraversial as he was, it was the only thing he knew how to do. He read sutras, meditated on the Mandalas and performed zazen.
But this, whatever this was, he could not do.
Then one night it happened. Sanzo lay awake in his bed and Hakkai snapped his book shut. The unexpected sound jerked at his consiousness. Sanzo knew something was up, Hakkai never did things randomly. He gets out of bed and places the book on his nightstand. Sanzo watches and does not dare think.
Hakkai makes his way to Sanzo's bed. It isn't far but there was more to distance than the measurement of time and speed. Hakkai smiles and leans down. "Goodnight Sanzo. Sweet dreams," he murmurs as he kisses Sanzo on the lips.
No more, no less and that was it. The light was switched off and the room plunged into complete darkness.
Sanzo doesn't know what to do. He clenches his hands on the bedsheets and he doesn't make a sound. He couldn't breathe.
It begins with a stolen kiss.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And somewhere far away, someone sings a tuneless song of hope and heartbreak. The song is too real to be true.
It begins with a kiss
At least, this one thinks it should be
Nothing to do with you is ever easy
You -- whom I fear loves the least
But can't we try? You and I? We have nothing more to risk
Our paths intertwine and don't you always listen to me?
The heart and soul can be believed.
Love me, please?
He sits by the tree, the shade protects
His silent companion on the other side, always there
What else more could he need?
He is comfortable -- feelings explored? -- Nonsense! -- He rejects!
But green eyes watch him, he is ensnared.
Those green eyes love him, he cannot breathe.
Author's Note: The above verse(s) is a Petrachan Sonnet. Slightly different from the more well-known Shakespearean version, it still consists of 14 lines but this has been divided into a octave and a sestet. The octave brings us a proposition and the sestet responds with a twist, a revelation or closure as it may be. If you liked it, please review it!