The first chapter of a story i have been meaning to write for a while... please enjoy!

Disclaimer - I own only what i have made up and written. All characters, scenes and settings from JKRowling's book are obviously hers.

Chapter One

The whole hall was staring at her. She wasn't surprised – she was the last to be sorted after all. What was surprising was how long it had taken them. Granted, she was only five feet tall and even a few of the first years towered over her – but still. She took care not to frown but hardly needed to. Barely any emotion was ever shown and mostly it looked theatrical. Even when she really felt something it wasn't naturally expressed.

She had spent the train journey curled up by a window reading absently. She had learned that Slytherin was the most despised by other houses and had met some of its occupants. By this knowledge and since she had been in Sistransard at Beauxbatons it was the house she expected to be sorted into.

The ride across the lake had also been taken in silence and no gasp of wonder had passed hr lips at the sight of her new home. There were more impressive things. As the first years had chattered nervously around her she had stood apart, stiffly. She had nothing to fear. When you had adopted an attitude such as her personality, people rarely poked into your business.

And so now she stood in front of the entire Hogwarts population as her presence was explained. The grey-haired man at the centre of the teacher's table stood up. Albus Dumbldore. There was nothing so special about him. They had spoken when she had transferred. She didn't need anyone's sympathy let alone help.

"It is my pleasure to announce that we have a new fifth year student who has transferred from Beauxbatons. I am sure she will be welcomed." Nobody welcomed Lily Evans. "Miss Evans please take a seat."

She walked to the stool and sat stiffly, lifting the old hat onto her head. She had heard it sing earlier. How ridiculous.

-I heard that- Lily didn't deign to reply. She had no use for a talking hat's feelings. -Oh but I'm afraid you do. I determine where you are in this school for the next three years- Good thing it won't be seven then, she though humourlessly. The hat ignored her.

-Now what have we here?- Instantly, stronger barriers encased her mind. She could almost hear the hat's sigh. -Well that won't get us anywhere- It wasn't about to go anywhere anyway, she thought rudely. It was just an embodiment of the school's crap founders. Had it had eyes the hat might likely have been glaring. -Keep on like that and I'll decide you'd do best in Slytherin- Good. It's what I expected. Thank-you. Lily made to take off the hat mentally wincing as it sent pain shooting through her mind. -Stop! I haven't decided yet! Though I suppose you have the temperament for it. But ambition? Hmm. And Muggleborn I see. Wouldn't fit in there too well…- Lily wasn't particulary worried about fitting in. -So I see-. She felt a moments pain and then silence.

The rest of the hall was staring at the figure perched on the stool curiously. Most couldn't remember a sorting this long. A few boys on the Gryffindor table seemed torn between speculating silently with the rest or rubbing their stomachs pointedly. They settled on both at once, raising a few smothered laughs.

The hat returned. It had a strange aura to it. Lily glared at it mentally. -I do not pity you- She might have rolled her eyes. She didn't care what it thought of her. -That may be. You have everyone fooled Lily, even yourself.- Ignoring her it turned it's attention back to the hall. GRYFFINDOR!

Barely managing to ignore her contempt and disbelief she walked down the aisle and sat down in an empty seat. More incredulity followed as Dumbledore wrote the words of the school song in the air and everyone began to sing. She ignored her ears protests and cast her gaze around the hall, lips pressed firmly together.

Across the far end of the hall was the Hufflepuff table – they were all singing their hearts out.. The Ravenclaws seemed to have nothing against singing and she noted the books which were dotted around.

Slytherins – they looked similar to her own house and bored to death. She would have preferred to have been sorted there. It would have been the same looks, same disgust, same blood related insults – but all that was preferable to the compassion, the friendliness, the forgiveness, that was likely to be found in Gryffindor.

When people accepted who and what they were and what the world ws like, everyone would be truer to themselves. But no. They preferred to continue their dumb little lives filled with false happiness and false love. Then, they died. Life was such a pointless waste.

Finally, she surveyed her own house. Many were talking amoung themselves, a girl was comforting her friend who was crying. Four boys had sung the song with a sonorous charm at top speed and were now whispering conspiratively. Studying their lips she grasped; "did you…..the trigger….hilarious…".

So these were the trouble-makers of Hogwarts. As long as they stayed out of her way she would have no objections. Lily didn't care what anyone else did.

The girl next to her gave her a shiny smile. "Hi, I'm Elise! You're Lily Evans right?" She wondered why Elise bothered to ask – wasn't it obvious? She made her lips curve upwards a little. "Yes."

Analysing Elise's abundance of make-up and the way her gaze kept sliding to the boys at the table Lily decide she didn't want to talk to this girl. Hating everyone on sight was a habit; very quickly confirming this followed soon after. "Is it true all the boys in France are fit?"

"No." she replied shortly. Elise inspected her nails. "You don't talk much do you?" Lily wondered whether the conversation could get any more stupid. "No."

"No need to be rude about it," Elise huffed, turning away to talk to someone else. Lily didn't miss her company. She put a little salad on her plate. The food had appeared by itself. How wonderfully pointless.

The girl who had been comforting her friend earlier turned to smile at her. "Don't worry about Elise; she takes things too seriously sometimes. Really kind-hearted but likes to have a shallow attitude on things. You understand it once you get to know her." Lily didn't want to get to know her. She made her lips curve upwards. "I don't care." It could be taken as either rude or forgiving. The girl smiled wider.

"I'm Alice, this is Faye." The sobbing girl didn't look up. "Have you---" She was cut of by a loud bang. Bright colours rained down and illusionary beasts appeared. Those around the Slytherin table started attacking it's students. Lily wasn't impressed. She could have done the charms work herself.

A small fairy landed on Faye's hand and she smiled a little. Alice leaned over, "Her name means fairy. It's just like the Marauders to try and cheer her up," she whispered. Lily wondered if she was supposed to care. She vaguely reflected on what Faye was upset about but quickly forgot it. It didn't matter to her.

She picked at her salad half-heartedly. She didn't like English food. Glaring at the now congealed mess of crushed leaves and salad dressing she grumbled silently. They even made a decent mix of lettuce unappetising. But perhaps it was the surroundings. After all, she had eaten almost nothing at her father's house over the summer either.

As people finally finished she followed the crowd, trailing after them up to the Gryffindor tower. She would have preferred to look around the school alone, get her bearings and have some time to herself, but there was some kind of curfew. Getting lost in the middle of the night without having any idea of the place wasn't top on her list of priorities.

The four boys from the Great Hall – the Marauders or whatever the stupid name they had come with was – had joined her, Alice and Faye. She ignored their attempts at conversation walking silently.

"Are you ok?" the blond one asked Faye, concern showing in his eyes. How sick, Lily thought, absently. Faye nodded, tears kept at bay. "It was weird living at Mum's house," she whispered. "Maybe like it is for Lily – like moving schools only moving homes." Lily didn't see the connection. She wondered where her dorm was but didn't bother to ask. She'd find out soon enough.

"Do you like Quidditch, Lily?" She looked up at a tall boy with messy black hair. "Not really," she lied. They wouldn't find any common interests with her – Lily always made sure there were none. Alice grinned. "James is obsessed. He'll be Quidditch captain next year probably. It's too bad you don't play. We really need a Chaser." Lily shrugged and turned her gaze to the staircase, wondering if the dorm was there and she could escape to solitude.

Mistaking her look for worry about Faye who was standing in her view Alice explained, "Faye will feel better soon hopefully. Won't you?" Faye shrugged silently with a weak smile at her friend. "I don't know what to Alice," she mumbled. "What if it's my Mum that's next? Or… I'm sorry. I'll be more sociable with you, I mean, you're new so it must be awful." Lily didn't care. "It's just, my Dad…" she trailed off tears forming. "You-know-who killed him just before summer holidays," Alice whispered in her ear. Lily resisted the urge snort. You-know-who? How sad did these people get? The French 'unnameable' was better than 'you-know-who'.

"So?" she replied, coldly. She was prepared for the looks that followed. "You don't even care?" James asked, having regained the power of speech. Lily looked instead at Faye, the ice in her emerald eyes chilling them.

"Your Dad's gone. So what? It's not like you can change it and anyway you're at boarding school most of the year. Honestly. Get over it."

Not affected by Faye's expression she turned and walked up the stairs, no longer caring whether they were the right ones. She felt a vague satisfaction with their angry looks. She was on familiar territory now. Ignoring the others in the dorm she shut the curtains, blocking any sound or thing from entering or leaving with a few charms and began to unpack alone.

Lily Evans didn't make friends.

Xxx

Going down to the Great Hall the next morning for breakfast, Lily was greeted with angry glares and hostile looks from most Gryffindors and even other houses. It seemed news travelled fast in Hogwarts. She didn't need to look at the Marauders to realise that they had fanned the flames. She would have to thank them someday if she could ever be bothered. They had saved her quite a bit of work.

Taking a seat at the far end of the table she examined the vast choice of Breakfast spread out in front of her. Finally settling on a roll and jam – at least the English got something right – she discontentedly mused over the absence of anything other than Pumpkin juice. Honestly the stuff was disgusting. Finding no trace of orange juice or any other non-sick-making drink she gave up and went without. She knew from experience what a bad idea it would be to transfigure the orange sludge to water. Her transfiguration skill left something to be lacking.

A flurry of wings and screeching announced the arrival of the post. Lily didn't bother to look up. There was no-one who would bother writing to her. Her white owl, Nuage, landed on her plate gracelessly and she hid a smile, taking the piece of paper still clutched in his claws.

Absently feeding Nuage bits of roll she studied it. How amusing that no-one wanted to hand her her time-table. History of Magic first then Transfiguration. Just perfect. A wonderful way to begin an awful school life. Coffee. That was what she needed. Strong, black, frothy, French coffee. She had known using caffeine as a reliant would come back to haunt her one day.

She was late to History of Magic. Thoroughly frustrated with a castle's many passageways and moving stairs she stopped for a moment outside to gather her breath. Walking in she resisted a snort of derision. Couldn't they get any better teachers than a ghost? Binns stopped his monotonous chant to direct her to her to the only seat left and she stalked over to it.

At a diminutive height she had learned to create a presence around herself which saved her from looking like a sullen child and made her more inapproachable. It cloaked her now as she pointedly ignored everyone sullenly.

Sitting down she realised her mistake as her skin began to glow a violent green. Holding back an exasperated sigh she stoically let the prank take its course. This proved to be a second mistake. It seemed these boys were more serious than any of those at Beauxbatons. When the Professor asked her what she was doing she stood up and said;

"I am simply declaring my loyalty to my Lord, You-know-who, and my wish to become an established death-eater." No surprise or anger showed on her face but inside she was fuming. How dare they! She might have a general hatred for the world in general – and that included Lord Voldemort thank-you very much – but she was not someone's supporter.

If some idiot decided to go on random muggle killings it was no concern of hers. Lily didn't get involved and she also had a mind of her own and didn't need to follow the aforementioned crazy fool.

She took care to speak only after getting rid of the spells placed on her. She resisted the urge to rub in how easy it was – people always expected things to be so complicated when a simple reparo restored it back to normal. Standing she surveyed the class mockingly.

"I'm surprised you can't tell just by looking; I'm Muggleborn. So of course, that would give me every reason to support Voldemort." She ignored the intakes of breath that followed her utterance of his name and allowed a small contemptuous smirk onto her face before sitting down.

By the end of the class she'd had her notes scorched, her quill spelled against writing anything polite, her hair changed to a strange mass of multi-coloured stripes and she currently had a sign over he head claiming 'I am a bitch and love to hurt people.' Quite pathetic really.

Walking down the corridor, easily realising that she would once again be late, she managed to rid herself of the sign with a complicated banishing spell. So these boys were quite talented. She'd have to take them a little seriously.

She inspected her hair. Lily had never been particularly fond of her appearance – her hair was too bright, she was to skinny, her eyes were too big, she wasn't tall enough. But she had learnt to ignore it from childhood and so now only ran a brush quickly through her hair and didn't bother making herself eat more.

Having trying the normal spells she wondered why she bothered. Looking at her reflection in one of the windows it almost seemed an improvement. She supposed it was the principle of the thing.

Climbing one staircase she could see that tall black haired boy, James, smirking at her from the top. She pretended to ignore him, watching him warily from the corner of her eye. "Staircase changes in 30seconds," he said mockingly. She didn't hurry. That was time enough to reach the top.

She hadn't reckoned on the boys though. Almost at the top, her bag split, books tumbling onto the step, ink bottle smashing, the ink beginning its trickle down to the bottom. Glancing up, she saw that his friends had joined him, each twirling wand and laughing as the staircase carried her away.

She cursed silently, mentally yelling at herself. It was such an obvious thing to do! She should have realised; it wasn't as though she were new to this game. Fixing her bag, she spent an extra few minutes charming it against such things. Those minutes would make almost no difference to her lateness now.

Starting up the stair, stifling a sigh, Lily thought longingly of that coffee. Coffee and avocado. How greatly they would improve things. Annoyed by her thoughts - it was for others to wish for the unattainable - she picked up her pace.

The transfigurations classroom was larger than the one for History of Magic. Her timetable said that the lesson was taken jointly with the Slytherins. She began to walk to her seat.

"What? No excuses for your lateness, Miss Evans?" She looked up into the stern face of a young woman. "No." Professor McGonagall raised thin eyebrows. "No reasons then?" "I got lost," Lily replied stiffly. McGonagall raised an eyebrow. "I will let it slide. Please take a seat."

The Professor watched her new pupil as she walked to her seat. Hard to make out where to put that one. Finishing her ritual start-of-term speech she consulted her folder. The girl's results were marked by some odd French marking system. How helpful.

Casting a quick glare towards the four boys whom she had placed at the front she raised her voice. "Miss Evans, a word?" Lily stalked up to the front and sat in the chair provided. "You couldn't explain this French marking system to me could you?"

Lily looked at the sheet in front of her disdainfully. If she had found the will to care she might have done well. As it was, she had spent her exams day-dreaming and had received an 'excellent' only in Charms and Divination. And the second was simply because the teacher decided she had 'talent'.

McGonagall charmed the air around them to prevent other students listening in and watched Lily expectantly.

"E is Excellent – it's the same in both languages. B is Bien or Good, PM is Pas Mal; not bad. M is Mauvais; bad." She refrained from grimacing at her Transfiguration mark that followed the next. "H is Horrible. Same in both languages again." She fell silent.

"And could you translate the comment," the Professor prodded. She felt like glaring. Who cared what some oddball Professor thought? Or this one? They both taught Transfiguration and so were obviously both mad anyway.

"Disappointing exam mark, not up to standards of work through the year which was about PM. All marks should be better and should have achieved higher – has potential." Lily barely managed not to spit the last word.

Professor McGonagall regarded her, taking in the icy eyes, straight back and multi-coloured hair before nodding. "I will not take this comment into account when marking you and you may begin with a clean slate but I expect better standards and will get them. I hope that is clear. Please sit in the third row."

Lily gathered up her books from her former back-row seat and slid into the free third row desk beside a huge Slytherin who leered at her. She gave him a look that could have crystallized snow and opened her textbook. Complicated Animal transformations. Joy.

Luckily the lesson consisted of note-taking, and no practical work was needed. She dreaded the next lesson. Leaving the classroom as the bell rang she wandered through the corridors, past the great hall and up a flight of stairs. She wasn't really hungry and if she wanted to avoid people and have time to herself – and get to a few lessons vaguely on time – she would need to know her way round the godforsaken place.

The Library was on the second floor beside the main staircase. She made her way around it then checked out a book for her Transfigurations essay. Turning towards the next flight of stairs she stopped short.

"Where do you think you're going?" It was the four boys from the day before. Lily gave them a disdainful look. "Is this an owned staircase? Excuse me." The boy everyone addressed as Sirius blocked her path.

"You're not going to the common room are you?"

"After all, the dungeons are that was; I think you belong there," James added, stepping up beside his friend. If they thought they could intimidate her by using their size they were sorely mistaken.

"I would like to pass. As you have no reason to stop me I assume you will be moving away in a second." Her fingers curled noticeably around her wand.

"We do have reason."

"We have several things to say."

"You should listen."

"It's in your best interests."

How sweet, Lily mused. They shared sentences. She remained silent, letting one foot tap ominously. They ignored it.

"We want an apology for what you said yesterday."

"To Faye."

"In public."

Lily let one eyebrow rise. "I don't recall saying anything offensive, and nothing that would concern you. Move." She was done with being restrained and polite.

"So you really do belong in Slytherin," Sirius remarked. She wondered where that came in. "Too stupid and evil to realise an insult or understand how to apologise." Evil. Hmm. An imaginative adjective. How amusinglu insulting.

"The Sorting Hat obviously made a mistake. You don't belong in Gryffindor." Lily had a strong feeling they were right but wasn't about to tell them that.

"Have you egos exploded you heads yet? Oh wait of course I can just about see the crack beginning to show. Do you really thing yourselves better than something infused with the very brains of Hogwarts founders?" And stupid gits those long dead oddities were too. "I think not. Perhaps you should take your queries to Dumbledore." Fed up, she shouldered her way past them. This wouldn't be happening if the stupid hat had got it right.

"If you don't apologise, what happened today will be just the beginning. And we're always kind in the beginning." She kept walking. Their efforts today had been less than impressive.

"We'll find out each and every one of your secrets and then, they won't be anywhere near secret any more." She forced herself not to hesitate or stiffen.

Let them try. Lily Evans' secrets were so tightly locked up that some were almost unreachable – even to Lily herself.

Xxx

What followed was the strangest case of prank-war/bullying that Hogwarts had ever seen – mainly because any retaliation from the victim was almost completely untraceable or recognisable and so to call it a war was I little inaccurate. The Marauders were by no means subtle and seemed to have enlisted the entire student body for their campaign – even a few Slytherins. Usually, any enemy of the Marauders was a potential friend of the Slytherins but not this time.

Walking back from Potions one day Lily had been accosted by one boy by the name of Flint. He had smiled in a slimily charming way but Lily had not missed the leers directed below her face. She stared icily at him.

"Yes?" Three more Slytherins flanked his back. "We just thought you might want some…help." She didn't change her expression. "And why would you think that?"

His smile widened. "As a former 'victim' of some of your housemates, I thought we might…ah…join forces."

"I can hardly expect that this help can be found without a price I suppose?" His eyes travelled once more.

"Planning will naturally include a few visits to Hogsmeade," he agreed. She shook her head coldly.

"I refuse to be a part of your petty revenge schemes and I also refuse to engage in any kind of activity with you, whether business or social. Goodbye." He caught her arm in a vice like grip. "You don't want to be doing that." His minions stepped forward. Anger flared and she wrenched her arm away. "No, I think it's you who shouldn't have done that," she hissed.

Needless to say, Flint's teachers were rather surprised when he excused himself from afternoon lessons complaining of a 'stomach ache'.

Unfortunately, satisfying this action had been, it had lead to mass bullying by almost the entire senior school and quite a few of the juniors. It had not all been triggered by the Marauders of course. Lily had both intentionally and unintentionally sown the right seeds by insulting or provoking almost every influential individual in the school. And despite feeling a little exasperated and sometimes even a tiny bit upset by the bully, she revelled in the solitude now easily available.

However, despite having been at Hogwarts for two months she still hadn't really improved the time she arrived to lessons. With constant harassment received from other students she hadn't managed to understand the castle as well as she had hoped and got lost almost once every day. But when looked on as an improvement from about seven times a day she felt that it could have been worse.

Lessons, she discovered, were about as boring as those at Beauxbatons. Charms was the only things she almost enjoyed – the results were often useful and the Professor seemed to view her as some kind of special pupil. Usually she would have discouraged such things and try to create the strained relationship achieved with the other Professors – but Flitwick seemed to be immune and continually gave her extra work or research into more complex topics. This kept her occupied during the evenings when she had nothing better to do except other homework or muse over the state of Quidditch in France. It was always interesting or useful but not so hard that she would leave it unfinished or unstarted as she did with other pieces of work.

This was one of the things that had lead to the almost empty parchment before her and the angry frown on Professor Hasnel's face. As Lily was seated at a table on her own, behind Alice and Elise, the Professor had to sweep through quite a few groups of students to reach her. The result was that most pupils taking Divination stopped studying their own returned essays and turned around to enjoy the show.

"I hope you are aware, Miss Evans, that your marks in this subject are almost of a failing standard? In fact, I am seriously considering failing you and kicking you out of this class! You have never handed in a finished homework – I'm lucky if I receive anything at all! You don't try, you don't interact, you don't work!" She paused for breath and Lily regarded her, coolly unruffled.

"Then why don't you? Kick me out of class and be free of all the pain and suffering I so unintentionally cause you," she replied, a complete contrast to the irate women in front of her.

"Because," Hasnel cried, "because, although you stubbornly won't admit or take advantage of it, you have talent, child." Child! Who was the one screaming their head off here? Honestly. "And I refuse to let that go to waste. Now you will go and sit with those two boys and you will work."

Lily didn't move. "Now, or so help me you will be confined to this room in detention for the rest of the month!" Grudgingly, she stalked through the hoard of shocked pupils – Professor Hasnel never shouted – and dropped her bag beside the chair with a thud. Picking out a book from her bag she glared at the table's occupants over its top.

James and Sirius groaned and glared back. "Bitch," one whispered under his breath. She looked up. "I'm not the one growling like an animal," she snapped, returning to the charmed pages before her. Sirius made to snatch it from her hands but subsided, instead planning better ways to retaliate.

Lily let herself become submerged in the free dimension offered by the book – Quidditch. She received two English and two French Qudditch magazines every month, one for each week, and every word of this week's was charmed onto the pages before her.

Five minutes later she was rudely pulled back to reality by James trying to grab it from her. She glared icily. Seemingly unfazed he glared back. "Because you are sitting here, Professor Hasnel is watching us and actually expects us to do some work." He looked positively outraged at this idea. She didn't need to wonder why. All glimpses of him in Divination had shown him pratting around with his friends. "It your turn," he grumbled.

Lily glanced at the Crystal Ball sitting on the table feeling trepidation well up. "Haven't you had a go? Or don't you ever work?" she asked nastily. He shot her an angry look. "We've both had a go while you were having your love affair with the paper. If we have to work with you can't you pay a bit of bloody attention? Oh I forgot, you're to dumb. My mistake." Sirius grinned.

"One, I don't see how I can have a love affair when I supposedly have no heart," – she was referring to an earlier prank that week – "and two, I can't be bothered to pay attention when it means I have to look at your ugly faces so leave me alone and get on with your sad lives." Sirius was prevented from giving a reply with something to do with her own sad life by Professor Hasnel.

"Have you all had a go you three?" She fixed Lily with a pointed look. "Of course," Lily replied at the same time as Sirius said triumphantly. "Lily hasn't."

"Well then." Hasnel gave her a sweet smile and held out the Crystal Ball. "What do you see?" Lily pointedly screwed up her eyes and stared at the smoky globe for about two seconds before smiling icily at her. "Sorry, nothing there."

"Are you sure dear?" A truth charm weaved itself onto the fingertips of her wandless hand. "I can't make out anything." The charm stayed white. Well of course, Lily thought, successful. After all, the shapes had become pretty blurred the moment they appeared given that her eyes had been purposely unfocussed.

After staring at her a moment the Professor moved on and, placing the ball on the table with a clunk, Lily picked up her book once again, soon becoming engrossed in information about the latest French stars.

She didn't notice the other boys at the table glancing at each other, suddenly recognising the avoided question. It was something to add to their frustratingly short list of her so far completely undiscovered secrets.

Xxx

That evening was stormy and, staring at the rain beating at the windows, Lily almost felt like smiling. Sure enough, on the notice-board there was a bright read, CANCELLED, chalked across all Quidditch practise that evening. It wasn't the she didn't want the teams to practise – if they were good the first Quidditch game of the season might be fairly entertaining – but it was far harder to fly unnoticed when there were seven or eight others also zooming around.

Dropping her cloak behind a statue in the south tower she released her broom from a key ring and watched it enlarge to it's correct size. Launching herself from the tower she felt the wind rush into her face, accompanied by stinging rain and creeping October cold.

But she didn't mind. Here, fifty feet off the ground in the pouring rain, here was real solitude – and here was freedom.

xxx

So that's it. Probably one of my longest chapters and since i mean to make the rest of it just as long it could take a while.

Please review!