English is not my native language and I'm still looking for a beta reader, so if there are spelling or grammar mistakes… I'm sorry! But if you want to apply for the job as my beta reader… Be my guest!

Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own the characters of "Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman"… One Beth Sullivan does… But I do own the character of Jonas "John" Kerrigan!

Rating: I don't know anything about these ratings, but let's say T or PG-13. Just to be safe...

Warnings: This is NOT a very happy story! So, don't like… don't read... This story is the sequel to "Past Fears". If you haven't read that story I suggest you do that first. Otherwise this story won't make a lot of sense… I think…

Summary: Hank and Sully are traveling to Denver to make sure Zack is safe from John Kerrigan. But will Zack really be safe?

Chapter 9

Michaela shook her head as she watched Hank leave her clinic. She had treated his cuts en had checked him for other injuries. While she had been doing that he had made some sarcastic remarks and had even insulted her a couple of times! And he had done it all with a huge grin on his face… She couldn't help but smile. Hank Lawson was starting to act like his old self again, and for the first time in her life she was glad that he did.

"He's on his way back, isn't he?" Sully interrupted her thoughts. "Yes, he is," Michaela said with a smile, "What happened, Sully? This morning he was still a grieving father! Now he's all happy and back to his old self again." Sully smiled at her. "He's still a grieving father, Michaela," Sully answered, "And he's not completely himself again. He's trying to pick up his life and it will take time to get his life back on track."

"What did you say to him?" Michaela asked. Sully sighed. "Nothing I care to repeat," he answered, "Let's just say I talked some sense into him… Showed him some things he needed to see…" He looked Michaela straight in the eyes. "You showed him Zack's drawings," she said softly. Sully nodded. "I gave them to him… They're his anyway…" Michaela smiled at Sully. "I'm sure he was grateful… Is he going to talk to Elena?" she asked him. "I hope so," Sully replied, "He would be the stupidest man on earth if he didn't…" Michaela had to laugh. "Sully, we're talking about Hank here…" Sully had to laugh as well. "Well, we'll find out soon enough," he said, putting his arms around Michaela. "Besides, it ain't our business… Let's just stick to our own…" He looked at her cheekily and then kissed her gently. "I love you," he whispered to her. "I love you too, Sully…" she whispered back.

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Hank couldn't believe what he was seeing when he entered the saloon. The place was a mess! People were shouting at each other, some were fighting. Hank had to duck when he saw a bottle of whisky coming his way. Elena was desperately trying to make everyone stop fighting, but it was of no avail. Hank felt anger building up inside of him. This was the last thing he needed right now. A riot in HIS saloon! He wanted to talk to his woman somewhere peace and quiet. Why did everyone keep interrupting his plans?

"Hey!" he bellowed and grabbed two fighting men by their collars. "Knock it off!" The sound of his voice seemed to make a huge impression at the fighting crowd, because everyone was immediately silent. "I hope we can just talk about this like true gents," Hank said in a low, gruff voice, "if not… then let's take it outside… I'm really in the mood to punch somebody's lights out." He gave the men his most dangerous look. Most men sat back at their tables immediately. They knew the look on Hank's face all too well. Any man would be an idiot to take on Hank when he was in such a mood.

When everything seemed to turn back to normal Hank approached Elena, who was standing behind the bar again, serving drinks. She had watched the exchange between Hank and the crowd and she was glad that he got everything back under control. She was also glad that he seemed to be talking again. In fact, he almost acted like his old self again! A feeling of relief had washed over her when he walked back into the saloon. Jake's words had hunted her all day. I'm afraid he might do something to himself! All day she had wondered whether Hank would be capable of hurting himself. She couldn't remember the last time she'd been this worried about someone. It also made her realize that she was indeed madly in love with Hank. She loved him dearly and the idea that she could loose him forever terrified her.

"Elena?" Hank said when he stood in front of her. "Hank!" Elena answered with a smile. "I'm so glad you're alright!" She spoke softly, almost shyly. "Yeah, me too," Hank said, "I need to talk to ya." Elena looked at him in disbelief. "Hank, look around, the place is crowded! We can't just leave!" Hank grinned at her. "Yes we can," he said, "Ask one of the girls to fill in for ya… Besides, we won't be far…" He pointed to the stairs which led to the first floor of the saloon and Hank's own room. Elena quickly called one of the girls, gave her some instructions and then followed Hank up the stairs.

Inside Hank's room she sat down on a chair, while Hank paced the room, wondering what to say to her. "Hank?" Elena asked, "You said you wanted to talk… well… talk!" Hank stood still the moment she spoke. He turned around to face her. "I don't know where to start," he said softly. Elena just smiled at him. "Okay…" Hank started, "First of all I want to say I'm sorry… for the way I've been treating ya lately…" Elena looked at Hank questioningly. "I don't think I understand what you mean," she answered, "You we're in some kind of shock… or something… you haven't treated me badly… you weren't able to do anything at all!" Hank sighed. "That's exactly my point!" he said miserably. "You had to take care about everything! Me, the saloon… you had to leave your own job behind, the children, everything ya care about so much! I shouldn't have asked that from you…" Elena shook her head. "No Hank, you couldn't help it…" she stood up and walked towards him. "Besides, you never asked these things from me… I offered them to you… I did these things because I wanted to… because I care about you…" As she spoke she moved closer to him. She grabbed his hand and brought it to her face. "I did it all because I love you…" she finally said.

Hank closed his eyes. He couldn't believe what she had just said to him. She loved him! She told him that she loved him! But did he love her back? "Elena," he said softly, "I like ya, I really do… but I'm not sure that I love you… I… I don't know anything about love… relationships… I always seem to mess things up!" He let go of her hand and started to pace around the room again. "I know I'm not easy… I shout, I yell, I've got a nasty temper… I don't want you to get hurt because of my idiocy." Elena had to laugh at the last remark. Hank stopped pacing and looked at her incredulously. "What?" he asked. "Oh nothing," she said with a smile, "Hank, We've been through this before, remember? We've talked about this at the restaurant. I already know these things about you and I still want to be with you! Hank, if I didn't want to give this a try, I wouldn't be here!" Hank listened to her beautiful words, but didn't say anything. Again she took his hand into hers. "I know you still have a long way to go," she continued, "and I know some days will be harder then others, but I KNOW we can make each other happy…" She looked him straight in the eyes. Hank looked into hers and saw that she meant every word of it. "And I know as well that people will call you an IDIOT if you let me go!" she said with a mischievous look on her face. Hank had to laugh at that. "I hope ya know what yer getting yerself into," he said with a grin on his face. She squeezed his hand gently. "I already know," she said softly before kissing him gently on his cheek.

"Hank?" Elena asked him, "I promised Grace to have breakfast at her café tomorrow morning. I'd really like you to come with me…" Hank looked at her and smiled. "I'd love to," he answered, "but there's something I have to do first… I'll be there a little later…" She nodded at him. "What is it that you have to do?" she asked. "I need to talk to someone who hasn't seen me in while…" he said quietly, wrapping his arms around Elena, "I need to tell him that I'm alright…"

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Hank stood up early the next day. He didn't want to be too late at Grace's, but he also wanted to have enough time for the thing that he needed to do. For the person he wanted to visit… He left the saloon and walked in the direction of the church. It was quiet outside. Most people were probably still asleep. He passed by the church and walked in the direction of the graveyard. When he was almost there he stopped. He swallowed when he saw the grave he wanted to visit. He approached it slowly.

"Hey son," he said softly as he finally reached his sons grave. "I'm sorry I didn't visit ya before… I was kinda out of it…" Hank looked around, not wanting anyone to hear what he had to say. As he saw that there was no one else around, he sat down on the ground. "I'm so sorry Zack," he continued, "I'm so sorry for what happened to ya… I should have protected you… Should have made sure that he couldn't get to ya…" Hank sighed. "I know it wasn't really my fault… but I can't help thinking that it was…" Hank closed his eyes and was quiet for a while. "I saw ya drawings… They're beautiful… I know ya wanted to have a family… a mom and a dad… maybe some brothers and sisters… I wanted to give ya that Zack… I wanted you to have a family… And I wanted to be a good father to ya… Now I will never be able to…" Hank felt tears welling up in his eyes. "I will not let him win Zack! I know I will never get ya back, but I will not give him the satisfaction of ruining my life! One day I will find him… and I swear on your grave, he will get what he deserves! I promises ya boy… John Kerrigan will not get away with this…" With these words he stood up and looked around again. There was still no one around. "Tell ya mom I said hello," he said before walking to Grace's Café…

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It was going to be a busy morning for Grace. Before she knew it her café was so crowded that she had to send people away, because she simply didn't have room for them anymore. People were happily eating their breakfast and talked to one another about the latest events in town. In this case it meant that most people were talking about Hank and his remarkable recovery. "What did you say to him Sully?" Dorothy asked. Sully sighed. The question had been asked to him about a million times already, however, he never really gave people an answer. It wasn't any of their business. No one needed to know what cruel things he had to say to Hank to get him talking again… to get him to live again. So he sticked to his usual answer: "Just talked some sense into him…"

Loren shook his head. "Well, it must be something! The man was a mess! Didn't eat or talk… and suddenly he's there again… back to his old self… yelling and fighting… making fun of people again!" Grace served him some coffee. "I was actually getting used to the peace and quiet," she said softly, "now I have to get used to his whining and sarcastic remarks again!" Robert E had to laugh. "Oh come on Grace," he said, "you told me yourself that you missed those remarks!" Grace looked at her husband incredulously. "Well I never!" she exclaimed. "Oh, it's okay Grace," Michaela backed her up, "I never thought I would say it, but I've missed them too." She smiled softly at Grace. "Me too," Myra called from the other side of the café, "This town just ain't the same without Hank being Hank…" Everyone seemed to agree with that statement.

"What I just don't understand, is that he let's this John Kerrigan get away with it," Loren said. "Just leave him be, Loren," Jake said, "I think he's got other things on his mind right now." Loren shook his head at Jake's comment. "No," Loren continued, "I mean it's not like Hank! He would never let a guy like that get away with murder!"

"He won't get away," a familiar gruff voice interrupted. Everyone looked up to see Hank standing at the entrance. Everyone was quiet. "I promise, on my son's grave, that John Kerrigan will not get away with what he did to my son," Hank continued, "He will pay for it… Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow… But one day he will…" He looked at the crowd dangerously. Then he looked at Grace and said: "Ya got some coffee, woman?" he winked at her and then approached Elena's table. He smiled at her and sat down next to her. "Good morning," she said to him. "Morning," he answered her. "So, are you going to tell me what it was that you had to do this morning?" she asked softly. He smiled at her. "I visited my son," he replied. Elena said nothing. She just kept looking at him, hoping he would continue. "I made him a promise…" Elena nodded. "What kind of promise?" she asked. Hank was quiet for a while. He nodded at Grace when she served him his coffee. He grabbed the cup and took a sip. "I promised him that everything will be alright… We'll be alright…"

The End?

Well, this was the last chapter of this story! Hope you all liked it! I've been a little ill lately, but I wanted to finish this story. I hope I did a good job. There will be a final story to this trilogy. It will be called "To the Woman that I Love" and it will be the story in which John Kerrigan will be dealt with! At least, I hope so… sometimes stories seem to be writing it selves. R & R please!