Chapter Ten
Korea, 1952
The next day Jack seemed a little more standoffish than usual at breakfast. He and Father Mulcahy sat at a totally different table than the rest of them, talking in low voices. Sydney tried to hear but to no avail.
"You're worried about him, aren't you?" Margaret asked Sydney. She had noticed that Syd was craning her neck to hear the conversation going on between the Father and Jack.
Sydney nodded. "I know that I shouldn't be, but I can't help it. He's my father and no matter what we've been through, I still care enough to worry when he acts like this."
"Like what?"
"Well, he went to visit Michael last night, saying that he'd meet up with me later and then he never showed up. Now he's over there with Father Mulcahy talking about God knows what."
"No pun intended." Hawkeye quipped.
BJ gave her a sympathetic smile. "I'm sure he's fine, Syd. He's probably just under a lot of stress. It's not everyday that you find yourself in a time and place that you were never supposed to be at."
"You're probably right, Beej. I just…I'm worried about him." She smiled. "I guess I should just let him be. He's a grown man right?"
"Don't ask us. We haven't quite grown up ourselves." Hawkeye looked her in the eye and noticed that it took a moment for her to look away.
Sydney still felt a little strange about what had happened between them the night before. It had taken her a while to fall asleep. She kept playing the kiss over and over in her mind, not sure whether or not she was as angry about it as she thought she was. She wanted to be, but Hawkeye was a handsome man and she found it hard not to feel butterflies in her stomach every time she saw him.
"Sydney? Yoo-hoo? Anybody home?" It was Hawkeye who brought her back to reality.
"Huh?"
"Oh good, you're back. For a minute there, we thought we'd lost you."
"Sorry. I was just thinking."
"About Michael?" Margaret asked.
Not wanting them to know what she'd really been thinking about she nodded her head. "I haven't seen him much since I got here. I feel terrible now for bringing him into this." She spoke through clenched teeth, angry with herself for what she had caused him. "It was my stupid mistake. I should never have-"
"You couldn't have known Syd." Her father said, sitting next to Margaret on the bench. BJ and Hawk noticed a significant change in the color of her cheeks.
"Your father's right, Sydney." Father Mulcahy agreed. "This is new to all of us."
Hawkeye looked at his watch. "I'd love to stay and chat but I've got a date with eight very handsome men in Post-Op." He stood up then turned around again to face Sydney. "Why don't you come with me? You could visit Michael, see how he's been doing."
"It might do you good." BJ encouraged her, seeing the look of uncertainty on her face.
She thought about it for a minute then nodded. "You're right. Let's go."
The two of them walked out of the tent together. It was silent for a few seconds then, at the same time:
"Hawkeye-"
"Sydney-"
They laughed nervously.
"Ladies first." He insisted.
"No, please, I'd like to hear what you have to say."
He stopped and looked at her. "I just wanted to apologize for last night. I usually don't act like that."
"It's okay. It just sort of surprised me, that's all. And anyway, I'm the one who should be apologizing. Did I hurt you when I…?"
"Only my pride." He paused. "And a few things I don't like to mention in the presence of women"
They continued to walk.
"The thing is, Hawk, I'm not sure that I'm supposed to get involved with you or anyone else here. It might alter the course of history."
"What kind of effect could one kiss have?"
"Well, say that you have a disease that you don't know about and I catch it. If I die, I'd never be born, and neither would my children or-"
"You have children?"
"No, that's not the point-"
"Then what is the point? I'm not following you."
"The point is that I can't get involved with you."
"For the sake of your unborn children."
"Yes! I mean, no. I mean…"
"I understand perfectly, Sydney. You don't have to spell it out for me." He opened the door and they went inside. "Hello, hello, hello! Welcome to Chez M*A*S*H! For the next hour you will get the chance to be the first to witness the death-defying feats of The Great Hawkini and his lovely assistant, Miss Sydney! Now for my first trick I…"
Hawkeye's voice continued as Sydney walked over to Vaughn. He was pale and still on the bed. She knelt beside him and reached out for his hand. It was warm but it felt empty. She wanted to cry and found that the tears wouldn't come. Hawkeye had finished his Vaudeville routine and was going around to all the patients, checking their pulse, making sure the dressings on their wounds were wrapped okay. He took a look into some of the men's eyes and throats and said a few funny or encouraging words to each of them. Then, at last, he came to Sydney and Vaughn.
"Hey." He said, sitting on the edge of Michael's bed to check on him.
"Hey." She let go of Vaughn's hand and stood up. "What's the prognosis? Is he getting better?"
"There's really no sure way to tell that right now. We have to be patient about things like this. As far as I can tell, he could be hibernating until next December."
She didn't say anything, just nodded and started to walk away, hugging herself. She passed by one soldier who whistled at her.
"My, my, Dr. Pierce. Are all the nurses here this beautiful?" He asked. Sydney looked at him for a minute then turned away. "Aw, come on, honey. Give a wounded GI something to dream about."
She was getting mad and Hawkeye could see that. He came over to the soldier's bed and said, "Easy there, Private Jackson. She's not a nurse, she's a guest and she deserves to be treated with some respect."
"Don't I deserve a little respect too?" Jackson asked, sitting up a little bit. "I'm a reasonable guy, but every man needs some lovin' once in a while."
Hawkeye stood over him like a vulture circling a dead carcass. "What you need and deserve are two different things that don't concern any of us here. However, what we're willing to give you is a totally different story. I think Miss Bristow here might be willing to give you a swift kick in the ass. Believe me, I know from experience."
"It's all right Hawkeye. I'm just ignoring it." She headed for the door.
"It's not all-" He caught the door before it slammed in his face. "It is not all right. And I don't think that you should ignore it."
"What some idiot soldier wants to fantasize about doesn't matter to me one bit. He can have his dreams if he wants to, so long as I don't hear about them."
She stomped off, leaving Hawkeye alone. He thanked God that she had decided not to get violent on him. He was still recovering from the night before, even if he wouldn't admit it.
*******************************
BJ walked in the Swamp later that night to find Hawkeye holding a glass of gin and staring into space. He didn't move, didn't blink, didn't even take a drink from his glass. He just sat there on his bed. It was quite disturbing for BJ who was used to seeing a fun, sarcastic Hawkeye, not the mess in front of him.
"You ok Hawk?" BJ asked.
Hawkeye looked up, startled. "Hmm?"
"I said, are you ok?" He went over to sit next to him on his cot. "You seem a little distant."
"It's nothing. Just…I've got a lot on my mind."
"Does her name start with an 'S' and end with an 'ydney'?"
Hawkeye didn't speak for a few moments. Then he stood up and began to pace. "I can't get her out of my head. I've never met anyone like her."
"None of us have, Hawk." He poured himself a drink as well. "It's the mystery of the future that's drawing you to her."
"I don't know if that's it, Beej." He downed the glass of gin, swallowing hard. "There's more to it than that. She's beautiful, smart, dangerous…"
"Dangerous?"
"Long story. The point is, I've never felt this way before about anyone." He sat down on BJ's bed. "I might be nuts to fall for someone who isn't even technically alive yet, but there's just…I don't know. There's something there, Beej."
"Hawk-"
"Good evening, gentlemen." Charles burst into the room. "I hate to interrupt your little girl talk session but I've had a rough day and I would like to get some sleep."
"That's fine with me Charles." BJ replied. He motioned for Hawkeye to get off of his bed. "Come on girl. Up. Up, girl."
"Ha ha. Very funny. I can see that I'm not wanted here. So I will just leave."
He wandered the compound for a while until he ran into Jack who was just leaving Post-Op.
"Hey." He said.
Jack gave him a little nod.
"How's our patient doing?" Hawkeye saw that there was something in Jack's eyes. Was it fear? He couldn't tell.
"He's still alive, if that's what you mean." He walked away from Hawkeye slowly.
"Jack?"
"Yes?"
"Your daughter, Sydney, are she and Michael…?"
"No. God no. In their line of work it's sort of discouraged." He looked Hawkeye over carefully. "Why do you ask?"
"No reason. She just seems so worried about him. I wondered if maybe…but it doesn't really matter."
"You're in love with her, aren't you?" Jack asked then. He didn't give the other man a chance to answer. "I highly suggest you keep away from her."
"But Jack-"
"In case you couldn't tell, that wasn't really a suggestion. It was an order. I order you to keep your hands off of my daughter."
"Sorry. I answer to a higher authority than you, I'm afraid. And who said anything about touching her?" He was face to face with Jack now, a position that, if he hadn't been furious with him, he would have shied away from. "Lemme guess. You're trying to keep Sydney protected against the big bad bloodstained doctor? God forbid she have feelings for a M*A*S*H doctor, or anyone for that matter. Am I right?"
"You just stay away from her." Jack grabbed a hold of his lapels. "Or else you'll be sorry." He had a dangerous glint in his eye. "I've killed for Sydney before. I can do it again."
Hawkeye remembered something that Sydney had told him earlier. "You can't kill me."
"And why is that?"
"Because of the repercussions it could have in the future."
"What?"
"You kill me, you prevent my children, my grand-children, my great- grandchildren and so on and so forth from being born. That changes the course of history and disrupts the normal flow of time."
Jack thought about that for a moment. Slowly he let go of Hawkeye. "You're right. I can't kill you." He balled his hand into a fist. "That doesn't mean that I can't do other things to you." He caught Hawkeye in the stomach with his fist. Hawkeye bent over at the waist, clutching his stomach. "There'll be more where that came from if you don't stay away from Sydney."
Then he went back to the Swamp.
Korea, 1952
The next day Jack seemed a little more standoffish than usual at breakfast. He and Father Mulcahy sat at a totally different table than the rest of them, talking in low voices. Sydney tried to hear but to no avail.
"You're worried about him, aren't you?" Margaret asked Sydney. She had noticed that Syd was craning her neck to hear the conversation going on between the Father and Jack.
Sydney nodded. "I know that I shouldn't be, but I can't help it. He's my father and no matter what we've been through, I still care enough to worry when he acts like this."
"Like what?"
"Well, he went to visit Michael last night, saying that he'd meet up with me later and then he never showed up. Now he's over there with Father Mulcahy talking about God knows what."
"No pun intended." Hawkeye quipped.
BJ gave her a sympathetic smile. "I'm sure he's fine, Syd. He's probably just under a lot of stress. It's not everyday that you find yourself in a time and place that you were never supposed to be at."
"You're probably right, Beej. I just…I'm worried about him." She smiled. "I guess I should just let him be. He's a grown man right?"
"Don't ask us. We haven't quite grown up ourselves." Hawkeye looked her in the eye and noticed that it took a moment for her to look away.
Sydney still felt a little strange about what had happened between them the night before. It had taken her a while to fall asleep. She kept playing the kiss over and over in her mind, not sure whether or not she was as angry about it as she thought she was. She wanted to be, but Hawkeye was a handsome man and she found it hard not to feel butterflies in her stomach every time she saw him.
"Sydney? Yoo-hoo? Anybody home?" It was Hawkeye who brought her back to reality.
"Huh?"
"Oh good, you're back. For a minute there, we thought we'd lost you."
"Sorry. I was just thinking."
"About Michael?" Margaret asked.
Not wanting them to know what she'd really been thinking about she nodded her head. "I haven't seen him much since I got here. I feel terrible now for bringing him into this." She spoke through clenched teeth, angry with herself for what she had caused him. "It was my stupid mistake. I should never have-"
"You couldn't have known Syd." Her father said, sitting next to Margaret on the bench. BJ and Hawk noticed a significant change in the color of her cheeks.
"Your father's right, Sydney." Father Mulcahy agreed. "This is new to all of us."
Hawkeye looked at his watch. "I'd love to stay and chat but I've got a date with eight very handsome men in Post-Op." He stood up then turned around again to face Sydney. "Why don't you come with me? You could visit Michael, see how he's been doing."
"It might do you good." BJ encouraged her, seeing the look of uncertainty on her face.
She thought about it for a minute then nodded. "You're right. Let's go."
The two of them walked out of the tent together. It was silent for a few seconds then, at the same time:
"Hawkeye-"
"Sydney-"
They laughed nervously.
"Ladies first." He insisted.
"No, please, I'd like to hear what you have to say."
He stopped and looked at her. "I just wanted to apologize for last night. I usually don't act like that."
"It's okay. It just sort of surprised me, that's all. And anyway, I'm the one who should be apologizing. Did I hurt you when I…?"
"Only my pride." He paused. "And a few things I don't like to mention in the presence of women"
They continued to walk.
"The thing is, Hawk, I'm not sure that I'm supposed to get involved with you or anyone else here. It might alter the course of history."
"What kind of effect could one kiss have?"
"Well, say that you have a disease that you don't know about and I catch it. If I die, I'd never be born, and neither would my children or-"
"You have children?"
"No, that's not the point-"
"Then what is the point? I'm not following you."
"The point is that I can't get involved with you."
"For the sake of your unborn children."
"Yes! I mean, no. I mean…"
"I understand perfectly, Sydney. You don't have to spell it out for me." He opened the door and they went inside. "Hello, hello, hello! Welcome to Chez M*A*S*H! For the next hour you will get the chance to be the first to witness the death-defying feats of The Great Hawkini and his lovely assistant, Miss Sydney! Now for my first trick I…"
Hawkeye's voice continued as Sydney walked over to Vaughn. He was pale and still on the bed. She knelt beside him and reached out for his hand. It was warm but it felt empty. She wanted to cry and found that the tears wouldn't come. Hawkeye had finished his Vaudeville routine and was going around to all the patients, checking their pulse, making sure the dressings on their wounds were wrapped okay. He took a look into some of the men's eyes and throats and said a few funny or encouraging words to each of them. Then, at last, he came to Sydney and Vaughn.
"Hey." He said, sitting on the edge of Michael's bed to check on him.
"Hey." She let go of Vaughn's hand and stood up. "What's the prognosis? Is he getting better?"
"There's really no sure way to tell that right now. We have to be patient about things like this. As far as I can tell, he could be hibernating until next December."
She didn't say anything, just nodded and started to walk away, hugging herself. She passed by one soldier who whistled at her.
"My, my, Dr. Pierce. Are all the nurses here this beautiful?" He asked. Sydney looked at him for a minute then turned away. "Aw, come on, honey. Give a wounded GI something to dream about."
She was getting mad and Hawkeye could see that. He came over to the soldier's bed and said, "Easy there, Private Jackson. She's not a nurse, she's a guest and she deserves to be treated with some respect."
"Don't I deserve a little respect too?" Jackson asked, sitting up a little bit. "I'm a reasonable guy, but every man needs some lovin' once in a while."
Hawkeye stood over him like a vulture circling a dead carcass. "What you need and deserve are two different things that don't concern any of us here. However, what we're willing to give you is a totally different story. I think Miss Bristow here might be willing to give you a swift kick in the ass. Believe me, I know from experience."
"It's all right Hawkeye. I'm just ignoring it." She headed for the door.
"It's not all-" He caught the door before it slammed in his face. "It is not all right. And I don't think that you should ignore it."
"What some idiot soldier wants to fantasize about doesn't matter to me one bit. He can have his dreams if he wants to, so long as I don't hear about them."
She stomped off, leaving Hawkeye alone. He thanked God that she had decided not to get violent on him. He was still recovering from the night before, even if he wouldn't admit it.
*******************************
BJ walked in the Swamp later that night to find Hawkeye holding a glass of gin and staring into space. He didn't move, didn't blink, didn't even take a drink from his glass. He just sat there on his bed. It was quite disturbing for BJ who was used to seeing a fun, sarcastic Hawkeye, not the mess in front of him.
"You ok Hawk?" BJ asked.
Hawkeye looked up, startled. "Hmm?"
"I said, are you ok?" He went over to sit next to him on his cot. "You seem a little distant."
"It's nothing. Just…I've got a lot on my mind."
"Does her name start with an 'S' and end with an 'ydney'?"
Hawkeye didn't speak for a few moments. Then he stood up and began to pace. "I can't get her out of my head. I've never met anyone like her."
"None of us have, Hawk." He poured himself a drink as well. "It's the mystery of the future that's drawing you to her."
"I don't know if that's it, Beej." He downed the glass of gin, swallowing hard. "There's more to it than that. She's beautiful, smart, dangerous…"
"Dangerous?"
"Long story. The point is, I've never felt this way before about anyone." He sat down on BJ's bed. "I might be nuts to fall for someone who isn't even technically alive yet, but there's just…I don't know. There's something there, Beej."
"Hawk-"
"Good evening, gentlemen." Charles burst into the room. "I hate to interrupt your little girl talk session but I've had a rough day and I would like to get some sleep."
"That's fine with me Charles." BJ replied. He motioned for Hawkeye to get off of his bed. "Come on girl. Up. Up, girl."
"Ha ha. Very funny. I can see that I'm not wanted here. So I will just leave."
He wandered the compound for a while until he ran into Jack who was just leaving Post-Op.
"Hey." He said.
Jack gave him a little nod.
"How's our patient doing?" Hawkeye saw that there was something in Jack's eyes. Was it fear? He couldn't tell.
"He's still alive, if that's what you mean." He walked away from Hawkeye slowly.
"Jack?"
"Yes?"
"Your daughter, Sydney, are she and Michael…?"
"No. God no. In their line of work it's sort of discouraged." He looked Hawkeye over carefully. "Why do you ask?"
"No reason. She just seems so worried about him. I wondered if maybe…but it doesn't really matter."
"You're in love with her, aren't you?" Jack asked then. He didn't give the other man a chance to answer. "I highly suggest you keep away from her."
"But Jack-"
"In case you couldn't tell, that wasn't really a suggestion. It was an order. I order you to keep your hands off of my daughter."
"Sorry. I answer to a higher authority than you, I'm afraid. And who said anything about touching her?" He was face to face with Jack now, a position that, if he hadn't been furious with him, he would have shied away from. "Lemme guess. You're trying to keep Sydney protected against the big bad bloodstained doctor? God forbid she have feelings for a M*A*S*H doctor, or anyone for that matter. Am I right?"
"You just stay away from her." Jack grabbed a hold of his lapels. "Or else you'll be sorry." He had a dangerous glint in his eye. "I've killed for Sydney before. I can do it again."
Hawkeye remembered something that Sydney had told him earlier. "You can't kill me."
"And why is that?"
"Because of the repercussions it could have in the future."
"What?"
"You kill me, you prevent my children, my grand-children, my great- grandchildren and so on and so forth from being born. That changes the course of history and disrupts the normal flow of time."
Jack thought about that for a moment. Slowly he let go of Hawkeye. "You're right. I can't kill you." He balled his hand into a fist. "That doesn't mean that I can't do other things to you." He caught Hawkeye in the stomach with his fist. Hawkeye bent over at the waist, clutching his stomach. "There'll be more where that came from if you don't stay away from Sydney."
Then he went back to the Swamp.