I'm sorry it's taken me so long to update-I don't even have a good excuse for it. Can we pretend that I broke my finger and couldn't write for weeks? That sounds a lot better.

A big thank you to everyone who reviewed-I love reading the reviews! Please keep them coming!

It took Kirsten about five seconds after she saw Sandy crying before she realized what she had to do. They were all suffering-her whole family-and she hadn't been making things any easier for herself or the people she loved most. The people who loved her and would always be there for her.

Turning quietly, Kirsten walked away to the phone and dialed in a number lying next to it.

"Dr Walker? Would I be able to make another appointment?"

She approached him quietly-he was still in the same position as he was before. It wasn't until she was several steps away from him that Sandy realized she was there. Kirsten sat next to him on the bed, resting her head on his shoulder and cuddling into him.

"I've booked another appointment with the therapist," Kirsten said softly, gently taking the outfit from his grasp and laying it next to her. "It's in three days."

"Oh, honey-don't do it if you're not ready," Sandy declared, turning around to face her.

"I have to get over this Sandy," Kirsten told him, her eyes holding more fear and less determination than her tone of voice conveyed. "I can't keep living like this and that'll only change if I get professional help. And with how I've been acting, I've probably just made things worse for you and the boys. I certainly haven't helped."

"But the most important thing is that you're here," Sandy reminded her. "At the moment, you should just be focusing on yourself. I cant take care of the boys."

"And who'll take care of you?" Kirsten asked, pointedly brushing Sandy's tear stained cheeks.

"I'm fine," Sandy assured her. "I just haven't had a chance to grieve and...it's gotta happen eventually."

Kirsten nodded. As Sandy spread out on the bed, she lay on top of him, holding up her head and looking into his eyes.

"I need to do this," Kirsten told him. "Focusing on other people will make my life seem more normal. More like it used to be before everything happened. I'll have less time to feel sorry for myself and maybe some of everyones' pain will go away."

"If you think it will help you," Sandy said.

"I'm sorry I haven't been there for you," Kirsten whispered.

"Anyone in your situation would have reacted the same," Sandy assured her. "And it would have taken most of them longer than you before they were ready to focus on others. You have nothing to be sorry about-okay?"

"Okay," Kirsten agreed, before giving Sandy a kiss and resting her head on his chest.

"As long as you're okay, we're okay," Sandy said, playing with a lock of her hair. "Just remember that."

"Where's Ryan?" Kirsten asked, walking into the living room where Seth was playing a video game.

"Don't know," Seth answered. "Doing homework? Studying?"

"So, how have you been?" Kirsten asked, sitting next to Seth on the couch. "With everything that's happened."

"Okay," Seth replied. "More worried about how you've been."

Kirsten had insisted on the boys not worrying about her since she'd returned home, yet every night without fail, she'd catch Ryan checking to make sure the doors were locked and Seth would always "conveniently" return home with leftovers from his afternoon with Summer that he'd insist on Kirsten eating. Kirsten could only assume they were a method to fatten her up to make up for the weight she had recently lost.

"I'm fine-a lot better than I was," Kirsten told Seth. "Really. You don't need to worry."

Seth gave Kirsten a skeptical look before returning his gaze to his video game.

"You and Summer seem to be spending a lot of time together," Kirsten observed.

"She's been there for me during this whole thing," Seth said. "We've gotten closer, I guess. It's just kind of complicated by the fact that she's still talking to Marissa."

"And you're not?"

"No-Marissa's in exile," Seth said firmly. "After what happened..."

"That's not Marissa's fault," Kirsten quickly defended. "She can't help who her parents are and it doesn't necessarily mean she'll be like them. Especially if she has people like you, Summer and Ryan as friends."

"Ryan's not really talking to her, either," Seth commented. "Actually, Ryan's not really talking to anyone at the moment."

He wasn't hard to find; he was sitting by the pool, his legs dangling in the water and his back turned to Kirsten.

"Hey," she said, sitting next to him. "Mind if I join you?"

Ryan shook his head-a typical, non-verbal Ryan response.

"How are you?" Kirsten asked. "You've been less talkative than usual."

Ryan shrugged and stared at the water, then out to the twilight. Kirsten could see thoughts swirling around in Ryan's head, trying to form themselves into words that wouldn't give too much away or make Kirsten worry.

"Ryan, there's no need to worry about me," Kirsten told him. "I'm getting better and I'm going to get some help. Seth also told me that you haven't been talking to Marissa."

"What did you expect?" Ryan asked, his voice taking on a tone of surprise.

"That you'd let her help you through this," Kirsten replied. "Sandy and I are always here if you need to talk to us, but I think you really need Marissa at the moment. And she probably needs you."

"She's Jimmy's daughter," Ryan explained quietly, as if that was all there was to the issue.

"Ah, yes-but don't forget she's only part Jimmy," Kirsten reminded him with a little smile. "She's also part Julie."

"And that's supposed to make me feel better?" Ryan declared, a smile flickering on his face.

"Children don't always turn out like their parents," Kirsten said, giving Ryan a gentle nudge.

"That's true," Ryan agreed.

"And you know Marissa," Kirsten pointed out. "You know she's not a bad person... I don't like to see you like this. You're lonely and confused. And I'm willing to bet Marissa is, too."

"I suppose I could talk to her," Ryan relented standing up. "And try to sort things out."

"Just make sure you talk to someone," Kirsten suggested, giving his arm a squeeze before he walked into the pool house.

Kirsten stood up herself and turning to go back inside, she saw Sandy standing several feet away.

"Well," he said, walking towards her and wrapping his arms around her waist. "It looks like some of my charm is rubbing off on you."

"It tends to be the effect of spending time with you," Kirsten told Sandy, leaning into him and closing her eyes. The safety she felt in Sandy's arms could almost make her forget that there was once a time when she had feared for her life.

"I think you could definitely do with some more charm, then," Sandy spoke into her hair playfully.

"You know, I think you might be right," Kirsten agreed, looking up at him with a smile on her face.

"I'd almost forgotten how beautiful your real smiles are," Sandy commented. "It's been so long since I've seen one."

"I'm sure there are plenty more where they came from," Kirsten stated.

"And there is plenty of charm left to give to you," Sandy told her, before giving her cheek a kiss. "Does that work?"

"Mm, not really, no," Kirsten said.

Sandy kissed her forehead.

"Nope."

He kissed her nose.

"Still not working."

He kissed her neck.

"Getting better..."

Sandy kissed her lips.

"Now that definitely works," Kirsten mumbled with a smile, pulling away slightly before leaning back in and returning the kiss.

"I can think of something that would work even better," Sandy declared between kisses.

"Eugh, you guys-that's enough!" Seth called out in disgust from the living room, causing Kirsten and Sandy to jump at the destruction of their bubble. "Get a room!"

"Sure thing," Sandy called back, taking Kirsten's hand and guiding her to their bedroom, past Seth's mortified face. "Just don't disturb us."

That night, it wasn't a fear of Kirsten's past preventing her from sleeping-it was a fear and concern over what the future might hold. She'd decided to move forwards by focusing on her family again and getting therapy, but she knew the road ahead of her would be difficult. A hot tear rolled down her cheek as she realized that recovery was the hardest part of it all. Her battle was only just beginning.

I've had major writers block since, like, November, so sorry if things aren't as good as they used to be and for the gaps between updates. I tend to write more when I have a lot of assesment at school, so I should be writing a lot more pretty soon.

Keep on reviewing and let me know what you think!