When I was back at school, the tears were still streaming heavily down my face, after I said what felt like the hardest goodbye ever to Seiji. After attempting to tidy myself a little bit, I went to find my friends, who took one look at me, and demanded to know what was wrong.
"Hey, Kara, you shouldn't be crying, you're not meant to be crying at all. Come here, tell us what's wrong." Annabelle pulled me over.
"Yeah, you toe, you'd better tell us what's wrong after deserting us like that. It was most rude of you," Suki poked me, hard, in the stomach, and I winced, whilst Denisa slapped her on the shoulder.
"DON'T DO THAT AGAIN, DOOF," she yelled at Suki.
"Why did you slap me, scum?"
"Because you hurt her, bub."
"Guys, quit it!" Annabelle intervened, before turning on me once more, "So what's wrong then?"
And then I started, right from when I first met Seiji, to the time when I had just said goodbye. Some bits they already knew, and other they didn't.
"And the worst part is, I didn't know he was back, and he was free, because Draco didn't tell me. Draco, who knew that I was suffering, didn't tell me. And that's one of the things that hurts the most."
They all agreed that what Draco had done was low, and was awful, even for him.
And then he came, Suki jumped up, "I'm gonna kill that scum."
"No, don't," I cried, quite literally, as tears were streaming down my face. He was coming towards us, and I felt as if my insides were becoming my outsides, as with each step he took, my feeling became more mixed up. However, the uppermost one didn't change, and my hatred continued to rage continuously, and painfully, as I remembered what he had done.
He eventually reached us, and by this time, we were all on our feet. He ignored the others, as usual, and spoke solely to me, "Hey, I was wondering where you were."
"I've been here."
"Are you ok?" he inquired, putting his hand on my shoulder.
"Get your hands off her," warned Denisa.
He looked at her, "Piss off. Don't tell me what to do."
And that was when I snapped, as did the other three. I'd had enough. He'd lied to me, deceived me, and been utterly cruel and regardless of my feelings. And I'd had enough. But before I could do anything, Suki, Denisa and Annabelle started on him.
"Right, that's it, bub. I think you've said enough to her. And its time you started to feel sorry. So, this is for betraying my friend," Annabelle punched him, hard, in the stomach.
"And this, well, this is 'cause I like slapping people. Actually, no, this is because…umm…you're mean, and you're a liar, and you're SCUM!" and Suki slapped him, hard around the head.
Denisa came forward next, "You ever, ever insult Kara ever, ever again, and I will personally see that you never, ever have the ability to see sunshine again. But for now, because I'm feeling generous, I'll let you off lightly. So, head, gut, or crotch?"
"What the fuck?" was all he gasped.
And next thing I knew, Denisa laid into him, first of all hitting him around the head, then punching him in the stomach, and finally kneeing him in the crotch, causing him to double over in pain.
I would have helped him, I honestly would have. If he had apologised, but he didn't, or if he did, I didn't hear him. So I simply did what he would have done, if it were him watching someone getting beat up. I looked him in the eye, and smirked, before turning my back on him, and walking off.
I was sitting on a sofa in the common room, the two cats on my lap, when I heard someone else walk in. Without bothering to look, I could tell it was Draco, from the way he was groaning, and a slight limp could be heard in his walk. He walked over, and sat on the sofa next to me, and before I knew it he was crying.
I looked at him, scared. I had never known him to cry before. He always seemed so cold, and hard, well, on the outside. I looked at him, and felt concern on my face, and embarrassment for him. I was glad that the common room, as per usual, was empty.
"I'm sorry," he spoke to me, and his emotion sounded in his voice, "For not telling you. I know I should've. But I honestly thought I would hurt you more, and that you would get upset once again, and angry, and then everything would be ruined."
"What would be ruined?"
"The plans, everything."
"You knew there was going to be a breakout?"
"I knew, yes, I knew. And I knew Seiji would be coming back."
Now it was my turn to cry, as Draco's betrayal ran even deeper, "I don't know which hurts more, the not knowing, or the knowing now that I didn't know, and I wasn't told. How could you Draco? How could you bear to do such a thing? No. Don't answer that. I don't want to know."
"I'm sorry."
"You should be. You honestly should be. And you should know, that everything you just got, you deserved."
He looked up at me, and I could see he was already forming two black eyes, and had a split lip, as well as a torn nostril, and his face was covered in smaller cuts, and bruises.
"Ok, maybe not that bad."
He smiled, and then winced.
"Does it hurt that badly?"
"Urh, not really. I should be ok."
"Liar."
He smiled, and flinched again. And I felt sorry for him. I wanted to believe that he regretted his actions, I really hoped he did. As if he could see my indecision, he spoke, "I am sorry. I really and truly am. I love you, and I love Seiji. I don't want to do anything to hurt either of you, ever again."
I looked at him, and seeing his beseeching eyes, I softened. "Don't move. Ill go and get some poultice, and some ointment." I ran to my room, and returned with a clay pot of foul smelling poultice, a small bottle of ointment, and some cotton wool. Carefully putting some ointment on the cotton wool, I first cleaned the cuts, gently running the cotton wool all over his face, before applying the poultice with gently, yet deft, movements.
He sighed heavily, and complained after the smell, before thanking me.
"Come on, you need to rest. Can you get upstairs?"
"No, you'll have to help me. You might have to help me undress to," his eyes glinted mischievously.
"You'll be lucky."
I did help him up the stairs, and onto his bed, but then I said goodnight, and left him, making my way to my own room, where I could fall asleep free of guilt.
Seiji was true to his word, and everyday I received a letter, although some were barely four lines long, it was still good to hear from him. Sometimes I got parcels, little gifts that were the most pointless things ever, like small stones, but others were lovely, like the pure white rose he had enchanted to stay alive. It sat in my room, on my bedside table.
I still missed him though, and was glad when Easter came, and with it the holidays, I was overjoyed to be invited back to the Malfoy's for the break, as was Kameko. Although it was a small hope, as Draco had told me it was highly unlikely, part of me hoped that Seiji might be there.
I could hope.