Disclaimer: Me no own the Legacy 'o Kain. Do not sue me, do not steal my Victor, do not steal my talking sword, do not eat your dirty underwear.
To Twisted Sister: YOU CAN SEE WHERE I'M GOING? I CAN'T EVEN SEE WHERE I'M GOING! You're amazing!

Chapter 2: The Second and Rather Short Edition of Stupidity This had to be the strangest thing that had ever happened to Victor, first he woke up in old time Nosgoth, then he died, then he happened upon the most talkative weapon he had ever met. "C'mon Kain, you're too slow, we can't take forever to get there! Well actually we can I mean…" the sword rambled on and on, blatantly ignoring the fact that it came up with the name Kain on its own. "My name isn't-" Victor began but the sword cut him off. "Shush shush!" the sword exclaimed. "We really have to get to your final resting place, can't stop to chat ya' know!" Victor saluted smartly and marched onward, literally. After about three miles it became clear that the sword's idea of close and his idea of close were two very different things. Three hours of silent travel (if you could call the sword's insistent humming silent) was beginning to get on Victor's fragile nerves. He made up his mind to ask the sword about itself. Besides, it might hurt not to know about it. "Sword…" Victor began hesitantly, not at all sure how to talk to a blade. "Shhhh, don't speak Kain, I know your mind" "You do?" Victor asked confused. "Yes, you want to know of my past…very well, I shall tell you it all. I will start at the very beginning…" Oh man Victor thought to him self gleefully. I'm gonna know this swords story! This is gonna be good! How very wrong he was. Victor tried to listen, he really did, but as it turned out, the sword really meant it when it said it would star at the beginning. No matter how much you like science, hearing the exact steps of evolution told in excruating detail is not interesting. Victor, by now, had tuned the sword out and wasn't paying any attention when he smacked straight into a rather large sign. This low bill board stated: Here lies the final resting place of the late and highly esteemed nobleman, Kain. "We're here!" the sword shouted, taking particular joy in stating the obvious. "Heh, I have a funny story about this place, well you see me and my, well she was my girl friend at the time…" Victor stared at the accursed blade as it talked about god knows what, and god didn't care. He shifted in position, clanking his newly found armor. He drew back, tensed, and threw the chattering sword. As it sailed through the air he yelled "SWORD YOU TALK TOO MUCH!" and drawing in a deep breath he bellowed "AND MY NAME IS NOT KAIN!" He turned his back resolutely on it, if the sword was going to be bothersome it didn't deserve to be traveling with him. Good Victor thought rather meanly I didn't like it any way. This Kain person's mollesum was huge. This entire thing is probably bigger then my entire house Victor thought in awe. He must have been some one important to warrant something this grand for a crypt. Victor craned his neck just to take it all in, it was like an entire castle for the dead, and far more imposing up close then it had been at a distance. He was already lost inside the grand structure when presently, Victor stepped on something squishy. It was all nasty and gross like; it felt like the type of thing you most defiantly did not want in between your toes. It was cold and slippery; he could just tell it was something bad. It seemed just like fingers…and it was. Victor looked down and too his utter horror, he was treading upon the hands of a corpse.

The body was slightly rotten and flies buzzed around it. Landing on its arms, it's chest, it's face. Cold dead eyes stared, a look of complete helplessness written boldly across its face. The most sickening of all was the corpses face for this body looked exactly like Victor. A precise twin. A dead twin. Victor could not stand the sight of those cold golden eyes bearing into him any longer, he had to get away. Far away from his dead double.