Oh my GOSH! Some one else reviewed! You guys are far too kind; everyone should take example from these fine reviewers. To Sissy Samurai: Whilst I don't quite remember what I wrote last (I could look but that's too much work…) I am glad there is no more confusion on your behalf…we would not want there to be a mix up on our weaponry. I do it often and just look where it got me.
To Popeland: It was genius wasn't it? I mean why thank you I'm flattered, I will continue to try to make it amusing for you.
Chapter three: Moronic Babble
In his haste Victor had not considered that there were no windows in the massive structure that he was blindly running into. If it were any one else in the world this wouldn't have been that big of an issue, however, this was Victor. It took him 0.34 seconds to remember his irrational fear of the dark, and about half that time to hustle his butt back out that light challenged mausoleum.
Once out he began to hover in the entrance to the titan grave. Should he brave the corpse, or go back to the dark? These were the two most fearful things in Victor's definition of the word. What if that dead guy turns into a zombie? Victor thought fretfully. What if there are more zombies in the darkness? This was all much too scary to do all on his own, so, Victor too a deep breath, ran up, stopped, retreated, ran up, stopped, retreated, and finally ran up and too a mighty leap over the body. Slowing from his run, he looked back at the dead corpse, and he could almost imagine that it was still looking at him. He jolted onward, fear inspiring him to do the dreadful thing he about to do.
Victor walked down the splendid hallways searching for the relic the sword had told him would be there. I can't believe, Victor thought to himself in disgust, its not butter. And this sword will not shut up. Why did I even go back for it? It wasn't as if Victor had a choice though, if it were all up to him he wouldn't be in this hot pocket less time zone. He needed a way out of this period and the sword was the only thing, as of yet, that had even offered him a shred of help. Not that Victor actually thought in such complicated manors, it's a miracle that Victor thinks at all.
Being the idiot that Victor was, he was perplexed as to why someone would burry their dead in one of these grand structures. (Little did he know, or probably should know that nobody was actually buried…oh my!) This is one very, very hugemungous dead person castle this is. Victor thought in his improper grammar as he meandered at the swords direction. Eventually he cane to a room that did not have a "hard" puzzle to solve in it. Instead, there was a tall pedestal with a small object placed upon it in the very center of the room.
"There! There it is!" the sword exclaimed excitedly.
"That is the thing that will give me a new magic spell?" Victor asked skeptically. It was hard to believe that this tinny thing would grant him a spell.
"Pick it up," the sword urged. Victor took a hesitant step, the shrugged, what had he to loose?
Walking up to the pedestal, he found the object was a card with a picture of a woman on it. It was a curious little thing and Victor was strangely compelled to touch it, to see what it would give him. He reached out tentatively and grazed the glowing surface of the card.
A tingling sensation shot into his arm and through his body. A brief flash of light popped behind his eyes and disappeared just as suddenly as it came.
"You have just received the sanctuary spell," the sword proclaimed importantly. Victor stared at it for a moment. What good did that do him…more importantly, what did it do?
"What good does that do me?" He asked.
"This spell will enable you to return to this place at any time you wish." The sword replied just as pompously as he had before.
"Why would I want to come back here? It's-all-dark-and-spooky-and-it-smells-really-really-bad" Victor hissed through his fangs.
"Well excuse me princess, I was just doing my job sheesh" The sword grumped right back at Victor.
"What ever" Victor said pushing open the doors at the other side of the room.
"Well, you don't have to…" the sword began but that was all Victor heard for he had just stumbled upon a room with a woman chained to the wall. She moaned in a pathetic way that made Victor's stomach rumble.
"Ho ho!" Victor said in gleefully rubbing his hands together. The woman's head shot up like a bullet on speed and she instantly took on an angry demeanor.
"Now who are you callin' a hoe?" she said inquired bluntly. Victor just stared hungrily at her, salivating slightly. "I may be chained to a wall and half naked" she continued hotly "but I am no hoe! I still have my dignit- wait, what are you doing?" For Victor was moving closer and he was sliding his arms around the girl.
He could feel her fear and hear her blood coursing through her veins… Her blood! Victor had to have it, he had to drink it! He sank his newly made fangs easily into her soft warm neck. He felt her stiffen in shock and the added terror was sweetening her delicious lifeblood. As he drained the girl of her blood, she uttered one last word. "Vampire" she whispered and after a moment of delectable panic, she died.
Authors note: Guillotines are fun! Oh, yeah, and I learned how to spell mausoleum just for you all. I only made this "authors note" to make me feel special…it didn't work… P.s. Sorry for the long wait between chapters. My computer was having some problems with retarded devlopment...