Tears of the Angels

Have you ever felt a pain that seemed to almost destroy the very essence of your being? That sat heavy in your heart to the point that you wonder if you actually broke the delicate tissue inside? It's that pain that makes you short of breath, and hard of hearing. The pain that leaves you begging for anyway out of it. It is that little pain that arrives when you've broken the heart of someone you love or they have destroyed yours. It is the pain, of Faye Valentine.

She sat on the edge of the bed, gazing outside at the rain that settled itself against Spike's windowpanes in his room, cigarette in hand. It had been raining heavy since she woke up, more than 5 hours ago. The clock on the nightstand said it was 7 in the morning, far earlier than anyone on the Bebop had ever been up. So rather then be her evil little self by waking up everyone with her dropping and pushing of pans, she decided to sit on the bed, and just watch the rain. It was something she had always did. She was either with her mom or her dad, maybe even a cousin who would sit with her as she watched the many rain drops as they fell against the super cooled glass and added life to yet another plant on its way down. It was sad however that no one was there… well besides Spike. He was behind her, sleeping soundly, the way he had for the past two months on his lumpy old mattress. It was barely covered with one of her floral sheets from her room, and he was covered with one of his old quilts, shielding his naked body from her prying eyes. He let out a soft snore and she turned to look at his skinny self. He looked so peacefully, and yet every so often he seemed to reach out for her. She was surprised he hadn't woken up. Hell, she was dressed, showered, too upset to stay in bed, and too scared to sleep. Scared… yes, Faye Valentine was scared and not afraid to admit it. What was she going to do?

She took a final puff of her cigarette before putting it out, and lying down besides Spike in bed. She scooted under the quilt, her tiny hands battling for a chance to get warm on this cold rainy day. Spike let out another soft snore, his breath brushing softly past Faye's hair. He smacked his lips at the feel of the bed moving and stirring. Somewhere in his dreamland, he felt her presence and instinctually reached out and pulled her close against him. She didn't struggle, didn't fight, she just enjoyed the feeling that washed over her as his hands brushed against her skin, warm, gently, and yet stern. His chin always found that place on her head that she was sure would result in a bald spot. His hands always took to her tiny waist clutching her tight, and his heart always took that irregular beating that must have been the source of his power and idiotic actions. She breathed in his scent, and enjoyed the feeling of him being around her, being close to him. He was her warmth… her happiness. She laid there for a long time, nearly an hour… just enjoying everything that was him. Enjoying his touch. Not to long ago he would have never allowed her near him in this way, and now it seemed to be something he needed in his life, something his body demanded. Funny, how irony can be such a bitch huh?

There was always the morning ritual that proceeded between the two. Faye would ceremoniously whisper to him and he would nod and answer her back often drawing a laugh or two from her. Today was no different… she whispered to him, her voice breaking and full of need, but he was far too tired, and too far in dreamland to hear its urgency. He nodded his head and whispered back to her, smacking his lips and repositioning his head on the fluffy purple pillow. It had been the exact same response, as before the only different is that today, she did not laugh. Instead she whispered back her voice in short sharp pangs as she suppressed a sob rising in her throat. She waited for something from him. For him to open his eyes and realize what she said or to smile at least in his sleep. The only response she got was a soft snore and a twitch from his leg. A few tears fell from her face as pain began to overwhelm her petite body. She felt herself shaking, her whole world and mind spinning before her. It was almost as if he had stabbed a dagger in her heart and demanded that she die on the spot. She pulled back gently from his grip, and he reluctantly let go, too tired to see all the warning signs, to deep in sleep to see the danger. She kneeled over him, and allowed her fingers to play with a tiny strand of green fuzz that had decided on head domination by itself. Handsome… so handsome. She wanted to remember him like this. Always see his face sprawled across her pillow drool sliding from his bottom lip. She leaned down and wiped it away, before she pressed her soft lips to his. The kiss was short sweet, and she had prayed for a return of the affection, a return of the kiss the way he had given it to her the night before, and the night before that, when they made love in their nightly ritual. Sadly she got nothing, and she dabbed slowly at the tears rising in her eyes once again before she stood and slowly exited the room.

She was wearing her normal outfit of yellow short shorts and her yellow midriff top, her white boots in hand. The scar across her stomach was nicely healed and it was almost impossible to see the burn marks across her pale skin. Her feet felt cool as she stepped through the metal corridor, the coldness mimicking the feeling she had in her mind and her heart. She walked slowly up to her room, and opening the door slightly peeked inside. It had been a long time since she slept in here. The only real time she came in was to grab some or another article of clothing or from out of there. She felt almost as if she were abandoning her place of sanctuary, and it left yet another bad taste in her mouth.

The sight on her bed would have normally would have warmed her heart but it did nothing but force the invisible knife deeper into her soul, causing far more pain than she had ever felt in her life. Her hand rose to her mouth and she choked back a cry as she watched Ed sleep with the dog who had been her best friend for as long as they both were on the Bebop. The tears she had fought off in Spike's room came back full force and rolled down her raw cheeks, sliding gently over her lips before falling to a sad fate on the floor in the hallway. If she didn't leave now, she would lose her nerve, so blowing a kiss to them both she quickly walked through the lounge room, and past the kitchen. She rubbed her eyes painfully demanding that they stop the tears and cut the bull, but her heart wouldn't listen. Her family…her family! It raced through her mind trying to stop her, but the only thing it did was make her break into a run, racing for the door to the hatch. Her family…her memory…her hopes…her dreams…her love.

Her fingers bawled into a fist and she forced it into the button opening the hatch door, breaking it instantly as her body silently convulsed in tears. She ran down the steps, her tiny feet bruised and being cut up with each step as she forced herself to her ship. Go! Go! Go! Everything in her body had been in confusion but that was the sound that made the most noise. Her mind was screaming, her heart was crying, and everything in between felt numb. All she knew was that she had to get out of there, had to leave the Bebop right now, or die trying.

She darted into the room that housed her ship and ran towards it, her instinct leading her more than her eyes. It was far too dark to see and would be of no surprise to see something she did not know had been there. Such as Jet. In the darkness she had missed the being that was Jet, leaning casually across her yellow paint drinking a cup of coffee that tastes more like nicotine and chocolate then caffeine. She opened her ship door and scrambled inside, her heart pounding and a large migraine setting in. She leaned back in her pleather chair, unaware of the danger that was about to be unleashed. Jet had watched her, his eyes already adjusted to the darkness. He didn't know why, but something told him today was gonna be the day for her. It must have been when he heard her…stumbling to the shower, tiny sobs escaping her lips earlier that morning. Damn that Valentine! He had felt anger rising this strongly in his being, as he emptied the last of his cup o' newport and threw the cup violently on the floor. If she hadn't noticed his presence before she sure did when his favorite mug shattered against the launch pad of the Hatch.

Where are you going?

Faye stopped for just a second, his voice raising terror and fear in her body, as she worked to start her ship.

I said where are you going Faye! I know you damned well heard me.

He appeared at her side door, and she turned her face away…too ashamed to look at him and too scared of what she would do if she did. She would just let him scream at her for a bit... and then she would take off right? That would be the plan now.

Faye if you think I'm going to let you leave you are sadly mistaken! You've hurt this crew enough with you're constant departures and if you think I'm going to let you run off with more money and more destruction then you're wrong. Let's go Faye, out of the ship.

Faye squeezed her eyes tight and kept her face away from Jet's. Her voice came out a tiny whisper as she replied to his ranting and raving.

I…don't have Bebop money Jet.

You're damned right you don't. I froze it up tight where neither you nor Spike could reach it.

A small smile formed on Faye's lips. It was times like these she was really going to miss, Jet's underestimation of both her and Spike.

Rolled in the tight ball of you sock, under you're bed in the third boot from the right.

Jet stood for a minute his finger raising in the air as he counted to himself, and then realized… she was right. So he wasn't senile all these years when those twenties and fifties went missing.

Well, you and Spike may have discovered the spot, but I'm not allowing you access off this ship!

Jet…

Faye's voice wavered off, and it hit him hard… she was crying. He watched her as she hunched over her controls, her short violet hair masking her face, but not covering the tears that made their home on her dashboard.

Faye… listen…

No…Jet…I have t-t-to go. Please Jet…let me go.

Faye, whatever's wrong, running away wont do any good you know that.

I have to Jet…because…h-h-he…Jet…please…move.

Faye, I-

No, Jet, move. If I stay any longer…I'll do something I'll regret. You know why. YOU KNOW WHY! Move Jet.

He stayed there a little longer staring at her shaking body as she struggled for control of her emotions. He couldn't send her outside in that condition, but then again, what choice did he really have?

MOVE!

Jet took a step back from the ship, his frown slipping unnoticed as Faye revved her engines and took off quickly, and quietly into the stormy morning. He knew he had done more harm than good by letting her go, and it was the wrong thing for her to do. It would tear Ed to pieces, Ein to pieces… even him to pieces. But most importantly... it would tear Spike to pieces. In the past few months, years even, she had become someone they depended deeply on, and couldn't go a day without on of her smart ass cracks, or her kind way of being mean. Damn... what had he done?

Spike groaned, and rolled over to Faye's spot, inhaling her soft sweet scent of cheap fruity shampoo, before sitting up and popping a cigarette from the nightstand into his mouth. He reached across the bed, to the white chair sitting by the door and he stuck his fingers inside of the yellow shirt hanging on the back of the chair. Damn it…his lighter wasn't in there. More than likely the work of Ms. Valentine herself. Sighing angrily, he pushed himself off the bed, and fished for his pants among the pile of growing clothes on the floor. It was now larger than ever now that Faye slept in his room, and any day now, he knew that the monster would grow large under there and devour them all. But until that day he would enjoy his dirty room, and his uncleanly habits. He continued to search for the pants he had in a rush thrown off last night until finally, after about an hour of looking, he located his pants, and slipped them on, then casually walked out of the room. His first stop… the bathroom. After 12 hours of sleep, and nothing but coffee for breakfast lunch and dinner, a man's gotta relieve himself one way or another. Heh, where ever you may be, let your water run free. It was something his grandmother always joked about the new baby's in the family. Heh.. no kidding.

After he had finished, he zipped up satisfied and made his way slowly to the kitchen. The sense of dread that he felt the moment he had awakened grew stronger in his chest with each step that he took towards the kitchen. Something was wrong. That he knew well. He sensed it when Romani had woken up that morning, some 2 o'clock, he sensed it when she went to bed the night before, and he would not be surprised by the news of this morning. Sigh, Faithful Post, had you ever let him down? He slipped into the kitchen and took a seat at the table, and he watched Jet in his little apron clean months of dirt and grime with the help of an also bald Mr. Clean.

Morning Jet.

She left Spike.

Jet had kept his back to him when he said it and looked at Spike after the words had left his mouth. Surprisingly Spike's mouth or body didn't flinch he merely nodded his head and lifting his hand reached for Jet's lighter on the edge of the table. His body was calm, cool, almost like he had been expecting this, and really he had. He knew it when she had spoken to him that morning, the sound of her voice, the sadness behind it. Even though he had been sleep when he heard it, it placed a sense of fear strong and ragged in his body. It also placed for the first time in a long time, a feeling of hurt.

He took a long drag of his cigarette trying to calm his body on the inside. Everything that Jet could not see was what he really needed help with. His mind was in a state of panic, his heart in despair. His lungs felt weak and chalky and his stomach felt as if it would heave any second. He knew she had left, he had known all along, but that didn't stop his reaction from changing. No matter how many times he told himself she was gone on his way to the kitchen, it was nothing compared to when someone else said it.

Did she say why she left?

She said I knew why she left, and I assume you know as well. Said she didn't take any money, but she said she needed to get out of here before she did something she would regret.

Spike nodded, took another puff of his cigarette. What had at first felt like a wonderful dose of nicotine suddenly tasted like dirt and oil in his mouth. He put out his cigarette and stood, walking slowly out the kitchen and to his own room. He needed to think… needed to get away from everyone and everything. He walked casually to his room, and picked up the towel she had used this morning for her shower, and walked himself to the bathroom.

He disrobed and stepped into the shower, and allowed the hot water to rinse over his skin. The skin that the night before Faye had kissed and touched passionately. The skin that she clung tight to this morning as she quietly cried on his neck, unaware that he had actually been awake. He washed it all away. His body felt clammy and suddenly he started throwing up, his body shaking violently in the heat of the water. He leaned forward on the tile, breathing as deeply as he could, almost as if he was suffocating. His fingers clawed at the tiles, as he displayed everything his heart and mind was thinking. Just as suddenly as he started clawing and vomiting he stopped… his body too confused to know what to do with itself. It took only a few more seconds there after but his face crumbled, and tears streamed down his cheeks and lips. It was the first time he cried in a long time. The first time his entire being shook with each muffled sob. She was gone. The woman that he thought above all others. Her charm, her wit, her pizzazz. Gone… and it was because of him. She had warned him before, that she would make him need her, want her the same way he had her. She warned him that she was going to make him cry, the same way she had shed countless tears over him. She had warned him. She warned him and warned him countless times, and yet it didn't lesson the blow any. She loved him, she said it to him every morning. First she would ask if he loved her. And he would nod, and mumbled that he loved her for the fifty-millionth time. And she would laugh, and tell him she loved him too. It was… weird cause he had never done anything like that with anyone. He didn't expect her to be so open, and so bubbly with emotion. She was the shrew right, not some little girl straight out of elementary. But then again… maybe she was. She was his little girl that cried this morning after he told her he loved her for the fifty-millionth time. The same one that begged to him that morning for the attention his sleeping body would not provide. She wanted to let him know... wanted to tell him what she had been feeling. She was hurting, and if she didn't hurt him, her own despair for his past actions would have eaten her alive, and taken away the happiness that she seeked.

She was looking to get even, to settle the score, and it was something that he accepted open arms.

Hey you guys! What do you think about the chapter? Yes… yes, poor Faye has fled. But she warned him and Jet even warned Spike. She was gonna make him cry…when he least expected it, and as fucked up as it may have been now, she needed to do it, to calm the pain he had caused her before and start the healing process. Poor thing… poor Spike. Oh, heh and about the where ever you may be let you're water run free, that was actually something my grandmother used to warn us NOT to do, seeing as how her cat and dog did it. You'll be seeing a lot pop up from my crazy family. I hope you enjoy their crazy antics as much as I've learned to despise them, lol. All right, well that's pretty much it. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter cause I almost didn't post it. So, show me some love all right you guys? Muahz! Oh yes, and a special thanks to Kenshi-mimiroo, breezy1028, angelfromynightmare33, Kendra Luehr, gothik chika887 and everyone who has been reading this story! Thank you love you all! ----