Months later found me permanently excluded from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, due to erratic behaviour and sheer emotional distress. The healers had all told me I needed emotional relief and rest, in order to recuperate properly. And so, I had been passed between people for a while, shunted around, until finally I landed up with Fred and George, in the flat above their shop. By this time, both of them had had a string of girlfriends, and although Fred was currently single, George was at, the time of my arrival, going out with Angelina Johnson.

I had moved in, and been given the spare room, seeing as they had managed to expand. Most of the day I had to myself, whilst they worked downstairs, in the shop, and so I spent my time sitting and contemplating, with Fred running up the stairs to check on me every hour or so. I would sit and stair out the window, and think how busy the people in the street below looked, and how frantic with worry. These full people, whole people, were lucky, I would think to myself. They have time to worry, and I didn't even have that anymore. I was half-empty, incomplete, and although perfectly responsive, still slightly melancholy.

My mood wasn't improved when I heard the Dumbledore was dead, he was one of the few with whom I could have felt safe, one of the few who would protect me to the death. With him gone, I held little hope.

The nightmares were getting worse and worse, and I often found myself awakened in a deep sweat, images of those who had worked hard to protect me throughout my meagre life dying, and images of me having to watch their deaths. In one of the nightmares, the most common one, I had to watch as the Weasely's were tortured, and murdered, one by one, each looking to me before they died, their eyes apologising that they could not protect me, their hearts saying different. The person torturing them? My darling Seiji. And then he turned me, and Harry would suddenly appear next to me, and look at Seiji furiously. He would hiss and spit, "If you want to kill my sister, you'll have to go through me, first."

"Aww, how cute, brotherly love. But don't worry, dear Potter. I won't kill either of you." Seiji would whisper in a silkily smooth voice.

Harry always looked surprised at this, and then he would find his voice again, "You won't?"

"Oh no, of course not."

Harry would now be looking puzzled, "Then what are you going to do?"

"I'm not going to do anything. But your dearest sister is."

"What!"

"Your sister, is going to kill you."

Harry would turn to me, tears streaming down my face, and look into my eyes, as my wand arm was raised by some invisible force, and I would speak a silent spell, shooting beams from my wand. Then he would fall to the ground, writhing in pain, and screaming. I would be crying even more, as Seiji approaches him, and leans over him, hissing, "Now, as you die, you can watch your sister kill herself, for your sake."

And yet again, my hand would rise to eye level, and with my wand, I would slit my own neck, and fall to the ground.

As I fell, and landed, dead, I would jerk awake in my own bed, tears streaming down my face, and my hands immediately going to my throat. But there would be no blood, no cuts. Just those same bruises from the years before. Tears flowing down my face, I would stumble into the bathroom, and wash my face, before treading quickly back along the hallway, and into my room once more.

Unknown to me, every night that this routine continued, Fred would lie in his bed, awake, and listening to my pain. He never told me, yet when I found out, it made sense of how he treated me in the mornings, and last thing at night.

The whole nightmare made Seiji's habit of telling me 'sweet dreams' slightly ironic now.

Life wasn't fair, and it certainly wasn't getting any better, no matter what Fred tried to do to cheer me up, and make me smile. He succeeded sometimes, but not very often. And so, I decided. It was over, and I was going to end it. Fred and George were busy downstairs in the shop, and I had the flat to myself. I went into the bathroom, and began to run a hot bath for myself, a very hot bath. I climbed into it, with all my clothes on still. The bath was boiling hot, I had added no cold, and so began to scold and burn my skin. I let out not a sound though, as I lay down in the long bath, and taking one last breath, and saying my final goodbyes, I disappeared under the surface of the water.

Fred jumped up the stairs, to find Kara, wanting to ask her something quickly. He went through the lounge, dining room and kitchen, and still didn't find her. Knocking on her bedroom door, he turned the handle when there was no answer, thinking she might have gone back to bed. A quick glance around the room told him that she wasn't in there, but on a further look, he noticed how neat and tidy everything was, with not a single one of her possessions out. The bed was neatly and perfectly made, nothing was out of place.

Except for one thing. Lying on the bed was a single scroll of parchment, tied with a blood red ribbon, and a single daisy attached to the bow. It looked so simple, so elegant against the white bedclothes, which looked as if they had never been used. He picked up the letter, and seeing his name on it, opened it.

Reading, he soon lost himself in it,

My Dearest Fred,

Don't be afraid, for when you read this, the rain will be gone from my heart. Some day, I hope you'll know, that I hate myself for losing you, and hurting you so much. But I'll never truly leave you. Before I went, I wanted to talk to you, but I never had the chance. The book in my trunk will answer all your questions.

When we used to be together, it always made me happy. But now, it may feel like you're losing your best friend, but don't worry, this wont be the end. For still, I'll go wherever you will go, and you'll forever be in my heart. It is you I have loved, with others, and none of this is your fault. You must understand it. I'll never forget the way you and George helped me, especially you, and for that, I am eternally grateful.

I am sorry for what I have done, and I know it is the most shameful thing I could have done, but for me it was the only option. I didn't know what else to do. I've changed, really, I have, and the past few weeks with you have made me seem like someone else. I don't know how to take this, and I know that I will hurt you deeply, for what I have done.

What more can I do? Should I bring you all down? Should I scream, and shout? Should I speak of love, and let my feeling out? I can do none, and I am in that way helpless. Its rather funny that I should be in this position, you would never have thought me capable of it really, would you?

Tell my friends that I love them, and Harry not to worry about me. Tell Remus that I am sorry; I don't mean to hurt him. I know he could do without this. But I couldn't cope, I just couldn't. My soul was stuck in the past, and scared by what it relives there.

And finally, with my final apologies, I thank you for all that you have done for me, and hope that you will forgive me, and always remember me in a happy way. I love you, don't forget that, you'll always be deep in my heart. I tried so, not to give in to this, I said to myself, this will never go well, and yet I have done it. I'm sorry.

Yours,

Kara

The letter fluttered to the floor, as Fred had dropped it onto the floor, running from the room. He sprinted to the bathroom, and tried the handle, knowing already that it would be locked. Standing back, he lifted his wand, and fired it at the door, which then broke off its hinges, allowing Fred to step into the room. Striding in, he saw her immediately, lying in the bath, fully clothed, and motionless.

Leaning into the bath, he plunged his arms into the near boiling water, and gasping in pain, clasped his arms around her body, pulling her out of the water, and bodily lifting her from the room. Laying her on the floor in the lounge, he checked for a pulse and found a week one. He began to mutter, and talk to her, at the same time checking for breathing. After watching a while, he thought that there was nothing for it but to resuscitate her, and so did so.

Five minutes later, she lay on the floor, coughing and spluttering. By this time, George had also come upstairs, to see what was going on. He took one look at the situation, and with a frightened expression on his face, saw if he could do anything to help. They could do nothing now, except see to the burns, and put her to bed, until she woke up.

I opened my eyes, slowly, and looked around me. Wherever I was, I hadn't left the world I knew. And then I realised, I was in my bed at the twins' flat, and I was bandaged up. I tried to move, but felt a hand on my chest push me back down on the bed again, and so I lay down, looking into a face above me.

"Why did you do it?" Fred asked me.

"I wanted to die. Why did you do it?"

"I didn't want to lose you."

I looked at his eyes, and seeing his glazed over with tears, my own did the same.

"I read the book."

I could only nod.

"You should have told me.

I nodded again, "I know."

"Will you tell me now."

I nodded once more, "It won't be easy, you'll think I'm strange. If I try to explain how I feel."

"I'd rather know."

"What you read, that was it. All of that was exactly how I felt, and more. That's how it happened. There's not much more," and so I went into the whole thing again, in detail, reliving every moment, but this time, with Fred by my side, to help me, and hold my hand.

By the end, we were both in tears.

"I needed to hear that," he told me, kissing me on the forehead. "Promise me that you'll tell me everything from now on?"

"I promise. And thank you."

"For what?" he looked confused.

"For being there, for saving me. I've found my white knight now. And I never want him to let me go."

Fred looked at me, and another tear rolled down his cheek, as one rolled down mine. "He won't. You see, this damsel in distress needs him, and can't do without him." He leant towards me, and lifted me into his arms, holding me close, and whispering in my ear, "I love you." I smiled, into his red hair.

At that moment George walked into the room, "If all this soppiness is over, brother dearest, yon trusty side-kick needs a hand shifting a few things. Also, the village idiot and pretty maiden are here to see the invalid."

He stood out of the way, and Ginny and Ron walked into the room, Ron giving George a spiteful glare over his shoulder, "I don't appreciate being called a pretty maiden, and it's harsh to call Ginny the village idiot. For a start, we don't actually live in the village, and…" he couldn't finish, as Fred gave him a clout around the ear, and the twins left the room.

"How are you doing, Kara?" Ginny asked. "We came the other day, but you still weren't awake, so we decided to come back another day."

"Oh, yer, and Harry said he would come and see you, but he's really busy and he will come very soon. And Hermione sends her love." Ron added.

"And these are all for you," Ginny poured a pile of letters onto my lap.

They stayed for an hour, and then left, leaving me to read my letters, all from friends.

And one from Draco. I didn't read it, but instead left it unopened by the side of my bed. I would ask Fred to burn it later.

That side of my life was dead now, and I was going to start over.