Authors' Notes: This is a joint venture between Zerlina and I, and considering that she is currently indisposed and that I am left to post this myself, I have nothing witty to say. Er. Enjoy. :awkward silence:
Disclaimer: None of the characters are ours, but honestly, what's the point of putting up these ridiculous things when it's established that none of the characters are ours...
"Pssst."
The hiss reverberated around the dimly lit corridor. The muffled movements behind the unlocked door halted for a second.
"Pssst!" It came more urgently this time. A boy's head peeked out tentatively from behind the door, which bore an impressive sign saying "Laundry."
"What is it, Padfoot? Is someone coming?" Glasses glinted in the dim light as the boy turned to face the source of the 'pssst's: an attractive, dark-haired teenager, who, for obvious reasons, was looking bored and rather indignant.
"This is tiresome, Prongs," replied Bored And Rather Indignant. "Let Moony take over for me, will you? I want a bit of the fun; don't hog it all for yourselves." He allowed himself an exaggerated yawn.
"Sirius, I was patrolling for twenty minutes before you, and you've only been out there for no more than five!" Another boy's head had popped out from behind the door, prematurely gray hair ruffling petulantly.
"Well, then where's Peter?" The boy named Sirius continued to whine, abandoning all pretense in the form of nicknames, "He's good for this kind of boring, sneaky rubbish. I daresay his whiskers have been drooping from a lack of orders issued by James." The gray-haired 'Moony' did not look sympathetic. He pointed his wand at Sirius accusingly. "I don't know where he is. Can you please pay attention to the map? It's way after dark and while the two of you (he nodded at messy-haired James and Sirius) have few qualms of acquiring extra detentions (Sirius huffed unbecomingly at this), it would do you lot good to remember that prefects don't possess this luxury! And I'd like to get this done quickly, too!" He muttered the last bit hurriedly for the sake of a disgruntled Sirius, who resignedly turned to the parchment in his hands. James gave him an encouraging sort of smirk and disappeared back inside as well.
Sirius knew that Remus, his patronizing friend, and James were attempting to administer the extremely difficult Tumbling Charm on a fourth of the school's clothes so that it would go off simultaneously at nine o'clock during their first class. However, Sirius really did not enjoy the task he had been employed to do: sitting on an icy tiled floor, keeping a lookout for teachers and prefects. He was only somewhat consoled by the thought that tomorrow morning, the unknowing Slytherins, including dearly beloved Snivellus, would don these freshly laundered trousers and that mischief would once again be managed.
It's a disgrace, he thought, to be basically left out of such a well designed plot, a plot he unabashedly recognized as his own. But he sighed and looked back down at the Marauders' Map, for he had been staring absently at a portrait of a house-elf scratching its buttock indiscreetly while ironing a bow tie. He immediately snapped out of his reverie as he registered a dot hurriedly advancing on their otherwise deserted corridor.
"Crikes! Moony! Prongs! Evans Alert! Approaching with immense velocity!" He called urgently through the crack.
"Crap, Padfoot, are you serious?" James called. Sirius contemplated answering sarcastically, but decided that this wasn't the time. "Yes, Prongs, you got your cloak?" Sirius whispered back quickly. He slipped into the room only to be greeted by a horrified look from his friend.
"Oh no, I left it back in the dormitories!" The two whacked their own foreheads simultaneously.
Remus interrupted their melodramatic display of sorrow. "Are you two absolutely daft?"
James and Sirius looked at him hopefully, ignoring the insult to their intelligence. "I'll go head her off and you guys remain here until the coast is clear. Got it?" The two nodded gratefully. How could they have forgotten? Remus was a prefect.
Remus darted out of the room, issued one last 'shhh', and closed the door gently behind him.
"Oh, it's you Remus," said a girl's voice from the other side of the wooden door. James pressed his ear excitedly against the keyhole and slipped on the hem of his robes into a pile of dirty Quidditch robes labeled "Hufflepuff," which muffled his landing. Sirius snickered softly, but regretted it immediately.
"What was that?" The girl's sharp voice had turned toward the direction of the door they were behind.
"Err, no idea," came Remus's hurried reply, "Uhm, say, Lily, would you like to inspect the third floor with me? I heard something crash earlier. No doubt Peeves having his way with the chandelier outside of Filch's personal bathroom." There was short silence and bated breath in the laundry room.
"Uhh, I guess if you say so…" Lily replied slowly. "Are you sure there's no one behind that door, Remus?"
"Behind a door? Oh! That door! Haha, no, well see, I thought so myself, which is why you saw me emerging from it earlier, but it seems I was wrong. Hah. Nobody there! Not a soul." A hearty laugh echoed throughout the hall.
"Remus… Are you lying to me?" Lily asked, imploringly.
"Er, lying? What lying? There's no lying," Remus said nervously.
"Potter and Black are behind that door, aren't they?" It was more of a statement than a question. Through a sliver of light in the otherwise pitch black room, Sirius and James gave each other outraged looks at this rapid state of conclusion-jumping.
"No, I assure you they are quite safe and in bed at the moment, Lily!" Remus insisted.
"I honestly don't much care much for their safety," Lily answered, "but I am sorely tired of their nonsense!" James and Sirius heard footsteps approaching their hideout. They had a split second to agilely leap behind a pile labeled "Ravenclaw—Undergarments," just as the door swung open.
"Lumos," came Lily's voice. Remus looked over her shoulder and let out a breath of relief.
"Well, it appears that I was wrong," Lily said disappointedly, her vividly piercing green eyes scanning the room. She was ready to turn away her wand, but the stream of light caught on the heel of a familiar black trainer.
"Potter, you imbecile!" she growled indignantly and swung her wand at Ravenclaw's briefs. The pile came tumbling down over the fugitives.
"Black! I knew it!" Lily's eyes flashed dangerously, "You idiots, do you have any idea what time it is? You are out of bounds at midnight, and that means detention!" She paused, taking in the surroundings. "What the devil are you doing in here anyway!"
"Inspecting the Quidditch robes for, err, jinxes, if you must really bother yourself to know, Evans," piped Sirius with as much dignity as one could muster with a spotted mustard-yellow brazier dangling from one's ear.
"Jinxes? What sort of rubbish are you spewing!" Lily demanded.
James took his lead and added, "Er, well it's true, see, we have a game against Hufflepuff tomorrow, and well, we figured old Miffins looked a tad shifty, so we came down—"
"Shifty? Miffins?" she cried, "What has he ever done to you? Or anyone for that matter! All he does is sit in a corner and read!"
"Always the quiet ones!" said Sirius pointedly, while attempting to disentangle himself from the hideous undergarment, but desisted at once under a ferocious glare. Lily took a moment to look around the room suspiciously. "If I find out what trouble you've been brewing, mark my words—hey! Potter! Black! Get back here this instant!" But the two best friends had already stolen their opportunity to race past her, each under one of Lily's arms, and were already down the corridor.
"Stop! Come back here NOW!" she screeched.
"Only if you promise to go out with me!" was the distant answer.
Huffing indignantly, Lily turned to a still present Remus and said, "Honestly, Remus, I don't understand why you can't try to control those two. But you've even stooped to the level of aiding and abetting their crimes!" Remus's eyebrows shot up at this statement, but he just shrugged awkwardly. Having nothing else to say, and in an extremely huffy mood at the thought of Potter's audacity, she stomped off without another word.