Chapter 1: What the hell is wrong with him?

Harry Potter was walking back to Gryffindor tower in the late hours of the night, hair askew and robes crumpled. If one were to have watched him, they would've seen that he wore an expression of mortification, amusement, and disgust. If he could ever recover from what he had seen, it would be a miracle from Merlin. This is what happened.

He had eaten his supper, mash potatoes and roast beef, and chatted with his best friends Hermione and Ron about his classes (horrible) and Quidditch (we are so going beat those bloody snakes). When he finally took his last gulp of pumpkin juice to wash down the remnants of food, he excused himself because he had loads of homework he had to catch up on.

He wasn't expecting to find a very much disoriented Draco Malfoy on the way back to his common room. It was almost laughable, especially when the blonde had muttered "Oh my god, I've lost my salad!" with shimmering eyes.

Malfoy, the stupid git, had probably gotten high on some magical weed, because his eyes were red-rimmed and he was unsteady on his feet. He smelled of whiskey too, so he was probably intoxicated or something. Harry didn't have time to waste, and he wasn't going to help Malfoy, even if he was in trouble. Maybe he was a little curious…

"What in the bleeding hell happened to you?" the black-haired 6th year had asked.

Malfoy seemed to be shaken from his stupor for he jumped almost five feet in the air. This amused Harry immensely and he began to giggle uncontrollably. "Where am I? Why is it dark? Why can't I see anything?" Harry's laughter ceased immediately as he realized the strangeness of the situation.

"Uh...we're in the middle of the 7th floor corridor and I guess you can't see because you got hit with a spell, I guess..." he trailed off. The green-eyed boy was actually very curious as to what happened to his enemy.

Malfoy suddenly recognized Harry's voice because he visibly tensed and began to stumble away.

"Get the fuck away from me Potter; I don't need your help. I can find my own-"

He tripped and fell over a suit or armor, making a great deal of noise. The metal kicked the platinum-haired boy away with its polished feet, and he landed next to Harry again.

"C'mon, let's get you to the Hospital Wing because you'll probably be eaten by something if I leave you here to fend for yourself..." Harry picked up the Slytherin and began walking. Malfoy was desperately trying to get free and even ventured to bite Harry on the neck, making Harry shudder.

"Stop that, idiot; I'm trying to help you!" Harry was loosing his patience quickly and Malfoy wasn't helping by being an uncooperative patient.

"Well, for your information, I don't want your help! I'm a Malfoy for Christ's sake, and you're not supposed to; you should've just left me there." He stopped talking for a few seconds.

"Can we not go to the Hospital Wing? That woman scares the shit out of me!" His attempts at freedom were getting more and more frantic and holding him was slowly becoming a problem.

"Fine, whatever, we'll go to the common room, and I'll try to fix this." Harry wasn't the type to argue for long, because his heroic side tended to kicked in way too early.

The Gryffindor changed routes and began walking up to the tower, still holding Malfoy with care. If Hermione or Ron were to see him now, they would die of shock or…maybe just faint. He was being nice to the Ice Prince.

"Ugh, I can't believe I'm letting filth like you touch me!" said Malfoy in a high-pitched, disgusted tone.

"Okay then," said Harry as he dropped the lighter boy on the ground, his butt making a muffled sound on the ground. "Oh, and if any monster approaches you, don't make a sound. It's almost curfew so watch out for Filch and that annoying cat of his." He emphasized the word "watch" and made to walk away from the annoying brat.

"Wait!" yelled a terrified Malfoy. "I promise I won't insult you anymore; I don't want to die! I'm too young to die! I'm still a virgin!" His eyes were shifting even though he couldn't see a thing.

Harry gasped, partly because his arch-nemesis was actually afraid of something and partly because he was still a virgin. His shock dissipated however, and was quickly replaced by the desire to laugh uncontrollably. He didn't though; he wanted to find out more about the whole blindness thing.

"First of all, Malfoy, who the hell cursed you and why were you all disoriented before?" Harry was probing for answers, ones which he could later on use as black-mail material.

Unfortunately, Malfoy didn't respond, mostly due to the fact that he was sleeping peacefully on the other boy's shoulder, drool leaking slowly from his pink lips.

"Ugh," stated Harry, wiping the offending saliva from his uniform. "I'll need to decontaminate this later. Maybe Hermione knows a spell…"

After a few flights of stairs, the blonde boy began to stir in his sleep. Harry set him on the ground, because he didn't want to deal with a cranky, just-got-out-of-bed-and-don't-touch-me pureblood.

Well, what the Slytherin did next would've surprised even the all-knowing Dumbledore or Merlin. He blearily opened his eyes, revealing a sliver-grey color glazed with sleep, and stood up. He wasn't as unsettled as before, but slightly worse: he was wearing a seductive expression on his face and licking his lips, and Harry was just another painting on the wall or suit of armor. Then, huskily, he whispered "You dirty floor..." Then, with a loud moan, he yelled "Do me Baldy!" and began rubbing himself.

Harry, little naïve Harry, was beyond disgust and shock and almost puked on the ground, but it was too funny (he knew about Mr. Clean). Falling to the ground, he began to giggle like a school girl and forgot that Malfoy was in the vicinity.

Harry's laughter brought the pureblood out of his trance, and he began repeating those frantic words of "Where am I…" and stuff.

He was very confused and finally realized that he wasn't alone.

"Who are you?"

Harry, deciding that he'd better do something useful, didn't reveal his identity. He took out his wand and placed a voice transformer spell on himself, making it much higher and squeaky, as if he had inhaled helium.

"I'm your…uh…conscience." Great Harry, you're so going to get beat up.

"Okay, well if you're my conscience, would you know if I liked boys?"

"Uh…well, you see…"

"Well?" Draco prompted. He could still be a pompous git even when he was blinder than a bat.

"Well, you haven't really admitted to yourself that you do…" Harry was stalling for time, which he knew he would need, because hell would freeze over before he told Malfoy that everybody already knew that he liked it up the a-

"Yes I have! I obsess about Potter's ass all the time! I love guys!" Jesus Christ, he must suffer from memory loss...

"Okay, well, I have to leave now, because I'm getting very freaked out. Umm…I, your conscience, am leaving you now. Bye." With that, the emotionally disturbed boy ran three flights of stairs and "Obliviated" himself.

Author note: Please review.I updated...hehe..-shifty eyes-