He was dead. The love of her life was gone forever. She couldn't believe it.
Who would piolet the ship now that Wash was dead? Would they bring on another crew member?
Why did the harpoon have to hit him? Why did Mal pull her away instead of letting her die beside her husband?
All these thoughts were rushing through Zoe's head. It had been a week but she wasn't over the pain.
She was used to pain. No. She was used to physical pain. This was different. This was emotional. She wasn't used to this emotional pain. She had seen all her comrades die in the war- except Mal and Tracy, who died later- and hadn't felt this.
This was different because Zoe had been in love. Her "war buddies" were different. She didn't care about them like this. Some of them she didn't even like.
She knew she would always love Wash. She also knew that the pain would never fully leave.
Should she remarry someday? No. She was happy with her life. Someday, she knew she would be with Wash again.