A/N: Necronom Hesberek Mortis! Heheheh, okay I'll shut up now.
Ah, distinctly I remember, it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow, sorrow for the lost Lenore,.
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore,
Nameless here forevermore.
-The Raven, by Edgar Allan Poe
"All of my gardens are dead."
"Maybe you're not planting the right things."
"No, my hands can only take life, they can't give it."
"Now, that's not true. Your roses are more beautiful than any other upon this world."
"Their beauty lasts only for a day. And besides, you would say that even if they weren't."
"Hnhnhn, so I would."
"NO!" Raven shouted, nearly screamed, as she sat bolt upright in her bed, gripping her covers. Tears poured freely down her face, she tried wiping them away, she tried to stop them, but they continued to flow. In the end she gave up and just let herself sob uncontrollably into her own hands. She didn't know why, but emotion just seemed to well up inside of her, blocking out all rational thought.
When she was at least able to do more than just sob, all she could remember was something about dead gardens. So she scribbled it down in the little notebook beside her bed. She felt another fit of tears coming on, but she suppressed it, just barely, keeping her cries to sobs instead.
It happened every night, nightmare or not, she woke up with a barely muffled scream and would just start crying. She didn't know why, she couldn't know why, it was like the emotion was just burning itself into her, and it was coming from those dreams. She would always wake up sometime in the night, and would be unable to get back to sleep. This night was no exception.
The dreams could be strange, or even pleasant, like that last one, it didn't matter. She would cry, or scream, or both. She had only been lucky so far that no one had been awakened by her scream. Well, until tonight it seemed.
As soon as a hand was placed upon her shoulder she launched herself into the owner's arms, gripping the fabric of their shirt and burring her face in their chest in order to muffle her sobs. Rorek, Malchior, Robin, she didn't care who it was right now, just someone who would hold her. She felt so fragile right now, as if she were only just barely holding herself together and the slightest thing would break her. The pair of arms wound themselves around her form, holding her firmly in place to prevent her from falling apart.
"Did you, have a nightmare?" Asked a soft, gentle voice once her sobbing had subsided. It was Rorek. Or was it? Sometimes their voices were exactly the same. But their mannerisms were rather different, and it felt a little more like Rorek than Malchior.
"No," She whispered, still shaking slightly. "No, it wasn't a nightmare, I just…I don't know. I can't help it." She brought her arms around his torso and hugged him tightly. Keeping herself together while slowly the pieces were being cemented firmly into place.
"What was it about?" he asked.
"I, I don't remember…dead gardens…two voices, I don't recognize them at all. I can't even remember what they were!" She exclaimed, her voice wavering and getting higher with panic.
"Ssssh, sssh, calm down, it's okay." Rorek hushed, stroking her hair. "You don't have to remember if it hurts."
"But, but Malchior said—" Raven stopped short as Rorek's body suddenly became rigid. He then pushed her just far enough away from him that he could look into her eyes. He gave her a kind, yet almost wary look.
"What, did Malchior say?" he asked. There was something in his voice that shook her up, causing her to become brittle again.
"I'm sorry! I meant to tell you, but it never came up and I—" She cried.
"No! No, Raven, it isn't that, I'm not mad! It's okay." He assured swiftly, "But, what did Malchior say?" He asked.
"Well…I-I've been having these, these dreams for a while and, and sometimes they're nightmares, sometimes they're…just like this, and I can only remember a few things because afterwards I just…this happens, I can't control myself, I don't know why I'm crying, I don't know why I feel so…so helpless. Malchior said I should try and, try to remember them, to write what I can remember down, and make sense of them in case they're trying to tell me something important." She told him, almost in a babbling voice. Several times she had to stop and swallow another sob.
"Oh." He said in a slightly flat tone of voice.
"'Oh'? 'Oh'? That's all you have to say is 'oh'!" She demanded, almost shrilly.
"Raven!" He exclaimed, shaking her slightly, "Stop that! Calm down! You're starting to scare me!"
It seemed that was what she had needed all along, though a slap in the face might have made her feel better. She rubbed her face as if to clear cobwebs, and let out a large, almost forceful, breath. "Yes, you're right. I need to get a hold of myself." She said, telling him as much as herself.
"What can I do to help?" He asked.
"Give me your opinion, what should I do?" She questioned.
"Don't stress yourself over it, I agree that these dreams could be important, but it'll only get worse if you obsess over them, not that I think you will, they can't be very good if you keep crying afterwards. It's a good idea to write down key things that you remember each time you wake up, but at the same time loosing sleep isn't a good idea either. Do you have any of that dreamless sleep potion from the directions I gave you?" He asked.
"Oh, yes I think I do, I just forgot about it." She answered.
"I'll go get it," he said with a kiss on her forehead. "Lay down and try to relax." He advised.
Raven almost cried again when he sat up from her bed, even though he was only going into her closet and coming right back out. Why? Why was she like this? It hadn't been quite this bad those other times. Of course, those other times she hadn't screamed loudly enough to alert anyone beyond thinking it was just them. Was it the dream itself? Or because he was there?
No, it was probably the dream. If anything, Rorek's presence should be helping her stabilize herself.
"I found it." He said in a lighten-the-mood tone of voice. She sat up and took the bottle from his hand. She took a small sip, all that was required, and then fell into her pillows so she could wait for it to take effect.
Rorek placed a soft, sweet kiss on her lips. "We can talk about this more in the morning, in the meantime, go ahead and try sleeping as much as you need to." He told her, standing up to leave.
Raven suddenly grabbed his wrist on instinct before he got too far, she bit her lip as he turned to give her a questioning look, "W-will you…stay until I fall asleep?" She got out in a whisper. She hated being this way, she hated the fact that she felt so vulnerable right now, hated herself for asking something so stupid, but she couldn't help it. Her emotions were unhindered, running wild within her, and she didn't know how to handle it.
Rorek took her hand into his, giving her an understanding look, "Of course." He said. He pulled her desk chair over to the bed and sat down, holding her hand in his. He kissed it once and then caressed her cheek with his other hand, stroking her hair as if she were a child. She was too tired to care anymore, all she could think about was how comforting it felt to have him there.
Raven took in a deep breath, and let it out slowly. She focused her mind completely on the task before her, one wrong move could cost her dearly.
Her enemy was trying to fool her, trick her into believing one thing so that she would make the wrong move. But he couldn't fool her, her power was greater than that. She made her move.
"Hearts! I won!" Raven exclaimed, showing her card off to Beast Boy.
"Aw maaaaaaaan! You always win!" Beast Boy cried, looking like he was about to tear the joker in his hand up into little pieces.
"Yay for Raven!" Starfire cheered.
"If you would learn to control your facial expressions so that they weren't so obviously fake you'd do better." Raven told him. Beast Boy's eyes went wide as he just stared at her in shock. "Beast Boy?" She questioned, waving her hand in front of him.
"He's in shock because you didn't insult him instead of giving him tips." Cyborg explained.
"White is really you're color, Raven, you should wear it all the time." Beast Boy said, his voice sounding more like a robot as his face hardly changed expressions.
Raven sweatdropped. "Whatever."
"Let me try." Malchior took the joker from Beast Boy and mixed it up with one of his cards behind his back, he then held them out to Raven, sitting down in front of her.
"You have to take of your scarf first!" Beast Boy exclaimed, "Cheeeater!"
"Hnhn, you're right, I am a cheater." Malchior chuckled. Beast Boy facefalted.
Raven focused on the two cards in his hand, studying them, then looking at him while her fingers hovered over the cards. Though when she looked into his eyes they looked right back into hers, looking at her in a lustful way. He winked at her flirtatiously and she sweatdropped, giving him a irritable look. She then decided to focus on the cards in his hand.
The one on her right seemed to be calling her, drawing her to it as if it were some sort of candlelight. She let her hand hover over it for only a second and then, she picked the one on the left.
"Bloody he—how'd you do that!" Malchior demanded. Raven smacked him with the card.
"Simple, cheater, I had a strong urge to pick the one on my right, so I took the one on my left. A simple spell like that would only need eye contact for a moment." She said.
"Darn you." He grumbled.
"You're the one who was cheating." She pointed out.
"And you're the one who saw through it." He came back.
"Usually that's a good thing." Zacroma said, "Face it, Mal, you've been beaten!"
"Did you just call me 'Mal'?" He asked, twitching slightly.
"Who's up for a game of Super Mario Brothers Melee?" Cyborg exclaimed.
"ME ME ME!" Both Zacroma and Beast Boy exclaimed.
"May I play as well?" Rorek asked politely.
"Okay, Rorek? Let me teach you the proper, American way to ask that. Repeat after me, 'I wanna play!'" Zacroma instructed.
"'I wanna play'." Rorek obeyed, though his tone was definitely off.
Beast Boy and Zacroma just sighed, "We shall teach you more later." Said Zacroma, placing a pitying hand on his shoulder.
"For now, let's play!" Beast Boy cried, slamming himself down on the couch with his controller.
"Make way, make way, the kings and queen must now play their video games." Malchior said, getting up from the floor so he could move away.
"Hey man! Don't dis the video games yo!" Cyborg snapped.
"I am not 'dissing' the video games, I am 'dissing' you and your obsession." Malchior returned.
"I'm leaving now." Raven said, she then stood up and went to the kitchen where Robin and Starfire had retreated previously. She opened it up only halfway before she decided to close it again and go somewhere else.
Malchior raised a slight eyebrow and decided to see what it was himself. "How many times must I tell you? You're doing it wrong!" He exclaimed, he started saying something else, but Raven grabbed his hair and dragged him away, closing the door with her telekinesis.
"Leave them alone." Raven grumbled. "How would you like it if someone did that to you?" She demanded.
"They wouldn't, because I actually do it right. Observe." He said, before she could react he had his arms wound tightly around her, bending her slightly forward and frenching wildly.
Raven was about to lash out at him, but Rorek got to him first. The white haired dragon tackled his darker self to the floor, causing an anime dust cloud to appear as the two punched, kicked, strangled, and all other sorts of physical combat.
"How dare you kiss her like that!"
"Oh and you wouldn't?"
"I'm more honorable than that!"
"You mean more of a coward?"
"I am no coward! You are an arrogant b!"
"And you are a nagging b!"
Raven opened her mouth, about to say something, but closed it, "Forget it, I'll be on the roof." She said.
"Betcha 10 bucks Malchior pulls out a bottle of shaving cream." Zacroma said in an undertone. Raven sweatdropped, but then pointedly walked to the stairway.
The air was cool outside, exaggerated by the wind and shielded by the blanket of gray clouds over the sky. The air smelled of rain and the waves of the water crashed against the island, destroying what might have been a quiet afternoon. Raven sighed heavily as she positioned herself in the air, it felt like another storm would be coming. Hopefully it wouldn't be as powerful as the last, though. Unfortunately she was still low on supplies, and Alabaster's was going to take a while to get what she needed.
Which was one reason she'd yet to be able to scurry for Slade using Rorek's fool-proof technique.
Meditating sounded like a good idea, she hadn't been doing it lately because she thought she didn't need to. But now it seemed she had more of a reason than to suppress her emotions. She needed to clear her mind, try to sort out these dreams and what they might mean. So far all she had were words and phrases that pertained to them. Dark woman, hated, dead gardens, a white dress, unfamiliar voices, and….blue, green-rimmed eyes.
Raven's eyes shot back open, instantly she summoned her notebook and pencil to write that down before it left. They were so…odd. And it was like they appeared in her mind. She couldn't see the rest of the face, just those eyes. It was like the pupil was blue and the iris was green, they were gem-like in quality, large and, rather childish it seemed. No…they were older than that…or were they? She didn't know. All she knew was that they couldn't belong to the dark woman. There was no emotion of hatred behind them.
But what did they mean? Was it symbolic of something? It couldn't be a warning, there was a sort of gentleness to them, or was that fear? Raven shook her head as if to remove cobwebs and tried to focus on those eyes, but she was beginning to loose sight of what they actually looked like. They didn't look like normal eyes, that was for sure, but now she couldn't picture them anymore, all she could remember were immediate thoughts about them. She scribbled all she could down on her notebook, but the memory was gone save for the descriptive words.
Raven sighed, irritated with herself. This was likely very important, and she was loosing the information as swiftly as she was getting it. But, meditation had indeed helped her to remember those eyes, maybe if she continued she would remember more.
"Raven?" A voice hailed from the roof door. It was Rorek.
There's a pattern here, I just know it. She thought to herself. It was always either Malchior or Rorek who would interrupt her during the few alone times she'd been able to have since three new titans had been added to the teem. Well, two, Malchior still refused to be considered a 'Teen Titan'. But it was beginning to feel like she would never be able to have her withdrawing periods as she use to. She may be changing quite a bit considering she was free, but she was still Raven, and Raven needed her space.
Still, she was in a relationship now, however uncomfortable she was admitting to that. And not with just one guy, oooooooh noooooo, there had to be two. Both of which were still fighting over her (and driving her insane in the process).
So she looked up, keeping her slight irritation from showing, and said, "Hm?"
"Well, I did say I would help you with your dreams last night, I was wondering if now would be a good time, since everyone else is, ahem, occupied." He said.
Raven looked at him, eyebrow raised, "What happened?" She asked.
"Well, currently Malchior and Zacroma are engaged in a shaving cream fight, Cyborg and Beast Boy are gambling on who will win, and I think Robin had just come out to investigate the disturbance when I came up here." Rorek answered.
"How'd that—okay never mind. Here, take a look at this, I just wrote this down a minute ago. It seemed to come to me during meditation." She told him, holding out her notepad.
Rorek took the pad and read it thoughtfully. He looked around for a moment, but found nowhere to sit, so he just sat on the floor, Raven mirroring his position so that they could discuss this better. "This is very odd, but let's see here. I think the white dress could be a semblance of purity, this woman might be you, your demon self, the part of you that you hate. These voices might belong to people you will meet in the future, or people you have met in the past but have forgotten. Perhaps someone from your childhood that has significance. Dead Gardens…hm. I'm not quite sure about that, but a dead garden usually symbolizes what once had life, it isn't a garden unless it grew something, and a dead garden would be littered with wilted plants. Now, these eyes…I really don't know. They are very strange, seems they're very confusing in themselves. Perhaps a shift from young to old, fearful to gentle. But that would depend on what the eyes themselves mean. Perhaps these eyes are seeing something that is green and blue. The sky and the grass is one thing, perhaps a blue flower with a green stem, they sound like sea colors, so maybe they have something to do with the ocean." He explained.
"You think it's all symbolic of something?" Raven asked.
"Dreams often are. You never get straight answers, and it's rare that the images or distinct thought processes you get from them are straightforward instead of symbolic. And then there's the reason as to why you're having these dreams." He answered.
"Malchior explained that, because I've become more powerful, my mind is automatically reaching a certain state outside of reality where I can absorb things along the timeline." She told him.
"That is true, but usually that doesn't happen unless there is either a reason, or something has triggered it. Maybe this has something to do with your purity. It could be a warning of some kind. Of what, though, we can't be sure." Rorek responded.
Raven sighed and took back her notes so she could meditate on them. There could be a lot of things it could symbolize. The woman being her demonic half, and the white dress being her new state, and then the blue green-rimmed eyes, they could be the ocean, or something like the ocean. And the dead gardens could mean…well, maybe something like she has life now but will start to die because of something. Everything eventually died, but there was something about the gardens being beautiful for a day, and then dead the next…
Swiftly she scribbled that down.
"What is it?" Rorek asked.
"Something I just remembered. The gardens were very beautiful for a single day, but then they died the next and became ugly. What do you think that would mean?" Raven asked.
Rorek's eyes widened, "It could be a warning, of something about to die soon." He then gave her a fearful look, telling her all she needed to know. These gardens could mean that the beauty of her purity might wither and die, she might die.
And if that were the case, she could die, or wither, very soon.
A/N: DON'T WORRY! It's not as bad as it sounds, Raven's overestimating Rorek's expression, that's all. Okay? Just make'n sure you guys don't freak out or anything…
Anyways, wow! Lots of reviews, for the first chapter, I'M SO HAPPY! WAAAAAAA! You guys are great, really. (Sniff) Okay, anyway, I hope everyone liked the chapter well enough, I know it wasn't as packed with funnyness as the last one, but at least it has some. And if anyone out there has ever read Words Without Sound, you know how much of a fan I am about confusing dreams seeping with symbolism and such. But hopefully I won't be focusing so much on writing the dreams and not explaining them as I was then. Though I think the first few chapters will have a lot of it, just to get everything set up and all. Wish me luck!
Ja