Author's Note: Beware of this chapter. I am so dead serious. Yuan gets drunk, really really drunk. REALLY Drunk. Poor Kratos!

Warnings: Some hints of yaoi, well drunk Yuan (x3), Drew Carey, Violence, Gambling, Swearing, and?... The Black eyed Peas? Yes, those are your warnings.

Sabbitical
Chapter Three: These are my People!

Yuan awoke to a prodding at his foot. Something fluffy. Yuan cracked his eye open and yelled.

"Kratos what the hell are you doing?" He looked downward and there sat an evil bunny glaring demonic eyes.

"I ish Lord Vader Bunny! Fear me!" The bunny yelled. Yuan screamed as he saw Kratos gone.

(Michelle pokes her head into MY writing office.
" Gone like the wind? or GONE LIKE A FREIGHT TRAIN GONE LIKE YESTERDAY GONE LIKE SOLDIER IN THE CIVIL WAR, BANG BANG, GONE LIKE A 59 CADILLAC, LIKE ALL THE GOOD THINGS THAT AIN'T NEVER COMING BACK, HE'S GONE!" She leaves. Ok that was odd. And yes, he was gone. Gone like Michelle just described. OOh maybe he got ran over by a train.

Andrea pokes her head in.
"Maybe he got ran over by a reindeer!" She leaves also. Anyways back to the damn Yuan Story!)

Yuan, startled, woke up and saw no rabbit at his foot. But Kratos wasn't there. He sighed and got up. He walked over to the freezer, and in the freezer were the Black Eyed Peas. He slammed the freezer right in the verse of Hey mama, turned around and saw Dancing Beanie Babies on his bed.

"KRATOS!" Yuan yelled. This time he really woke up. I'm being serious. He's awake. Standing over Yuan was Kratos. He poked him violently.

"What are you doing standing over me!" Yuan yelled.

"You were crying out for me in your sleep," Kratos spoke, stiffling a laugh. Yuan got up, of course not out of the bed. He slept in the nude so you get the picture. ha ha ha!

"No I wasn't," Yuan hissed. Kratos shook his head.

"Whatever, where are we?" Kratos asked. Yuan glared violently.

"You're that one that planed this trip!" Yuan cussed, chucking a shoe at Kratos. Kratos ducked the shoe then sat down.

"Anyway, don't tell me then. I can figure it out," Kratos complained. Yuan took a deep sigh then explained everything that had happened over the past two days. Kratos couldn't hold it in, he bursted out laughing.

"Did that really happen?" He asked.

"Duh, we are in a hotel aren't we," Yuan spoke bitterly. Kratos sighed then thought for a moment.

"What the hell have I been on?" Kratos asked shaking his head. Yuan rolled his eyes and grabbed his clothes from his counter.

"Whatever, I'm going to get change and enjoy the rest of this so called trip," He put on his pants then walked into the bathroom. Sighing he looked in the mirror then screamed in horror. In the bathtub was none other then Zelos playing with rubber duckies, still.

"Zelos! What the heck are you doing?" Yuan yelled turning around. Zelos made duck sounds then splashed onto the ground.

"Yuan, I heard something and-" Kratos began but when he came in he saw Zelos in a tub.

"What the hell happened last night," Kratos asked uneasily. Yuan shifted as he watched Zelos. Zelos looked up.

"Oh you really want to know what happened last night?" He asked, putting a duckie on his head. Kratos nodded.

"Heh, I think you two had quite a fun time," Zelos laughed. Kratos exchanged uneasy glances. Zelos got up, don't worry, he was wearing duckie bath trunks. Yep, he was. Zelos left the hotel room and was heard running the hall singing Holiday by GreenDay.

"..." Yuan remained silent. Kratos also was silent. It was so silent you could hear Drew carey coughing up a hairball three doors down. Ok that was odd. Very odd. Like Michael Jackson!

"Let's just put last night behind us," Kratos spoke leaving the bathroom.

After awhile, in his highly hung-over state, Yuan decided to do what casino's were all about, gamble. He went to try his hand at poker. Yes it's a pun laugh! Laugh! So erm, Yuan was playing a game of poker with three well-known people
First was Bob! Bob from Bob's Discount Furniture! Man do we all hate him. Next was, of course, Drew Carey, how he is becoming a usual in my stories. And finally was Bob Barker from the Price is Right! Oh yea!

"I raise you ten on your sixty, Bob," Yuan spoke shoving his coins in. Bob from Bob's nodded and it was a face off. Yuan laid down his cards, but before he did, he went, all in. dun dun dun. Yuan laid down his cards, Two Aces. Hard to beat. Bob laid down his cards, A Queen and Jack, Suited! Gasp!

"Give it up," Bob said evilly. He was letting on to his true evil nature. Oh my dear god, I always knew Bob on those commercials was pure evil!

"Not yet," Yuan spoke as the river showed the Cards 2, 8, J, 4, and A. Yuan won. x3

"Damnit!" Bob spoke. The other bob, from the pricing show, shook his head and turned to Drew Carey.

"This is why we have our own shows," He spoke. Drew Carey nodded. Yuan gave a blank look and grabbed the pile of money. Shoving it into his pocket, he walked over to a slot and sat down.

"How do you work these things?" He asked kicking it. A few random people starred at him. Hehehe, that's funny. Anyways, he looked over and saw an old lady putting quarters into the machine. Yuan took out some of the quarters he managed to get from the famous people and shoved them into the machine.

The screen showed cherry cherry bar. Yuan twitched and hollered.

"DID I WIN!" Yuan repeatedly kept putting money into the machine. He was addicted, already. As if that wasn't bad enough, he ordered five cocktails. There should be a law against that. Or is there? Bad waitresses!

Kratos appeared behind Yuan after he had drunk all those drinks. Gosh, I don't think Yuan could be even more drunk.

"Yuan are you alright, what are you doing might I ask?" Kratos asked. He touched Yuan on the shoulder and whirled him around. He sat there, zoned out, drunk. Kratos shook his head.

"Not again. No way am you getting me drunk," Kratos spoke. He looked at Yuan. "Come on Yuan, let's go back to our room," Kratos spoke grabbing Yuan by the elbow. Yuan glared and smacked him upside the head.

"I take it that's a no," Kratos complained. He sighed and looked back at Yuan. "If you come up now, erm, I'll let you do whatever you want, and even name ice cubes," Kratos spoke, scratching his head.

"Leave me alone! Let me be with my machine!" He hissed. Kratos gave a shifty glance as a weird lady walked over.

"Hey, you're pretty cute," The girl said to Yuan. Kratos, fearing he'd say something he'd regret, sat down next to Yuan and looked at the girl.

"He's with me," and winked. The lady gave a stunned look then left abruptly. Damn Kratos, you probably gave her a heart attack.

"You better thank me for that," Kratos spoke, disgusted. Yuan didn't re act at all.

"Fine then, drink your little drinks. Like I care, fine whatever," Kratos spoke getting up and leaving to the spiffeh mall part of the casino.

Kratos walked slowly to where the waterfall and just starred. "Just like Heimdall," He spoke watching the flowing water. After a few moments, he looked over at a shop. It was the Fish Store. The fish store was a shop dedicated to the ocean, it has sharks, live fish, jewelry, so on and so on.

"Yuan would have a heart attack if he saw all these fish," Kratos spoke stifling a laughter.

Back at Yuan, Yuan had managed to win one hundred bucks already. Man did he have good luck. Really good luck. Anyways, he closed his eyes then looked around for Kratos.

"Kratos!" Yuan hollered. A fat man eating a corn dog starred at Yuan for a few moments. The fat man looked oddly like a WWE wrestler. Hmmm, odd. Yuan cashed out then, drunkenly, went to find Kratos.

Banging into random people, who cussed at him in their own languages (Trust me, loads of people do that when we go to the casino!). Yuan shrugged and yelled Kratos' name multiple time. Most people found a man with blue hair, wearing a cape an odd scene. But hey, they've seen weirder things.

"Kratos, where are you," Yuan whined as he walked out to the mall area. Slowly he made his way to a bar, again, and ordered another drink. My god! Why do these people keep giving him a drink!

"This is damn good and tasty, just like Kratos," Yuan spoke banging the bottle on the table. Thankfully, Kratos had spotted Yuan at the bar before he got up and went on a rampage banging into walking people.

"Yuan! How many drinks have you had?" Kratos asked. Yuan looked over and jumped up and hugged Kratos.

"Kratos!" He squeaked. Kratos looked uneasily as Drew Carey walked by eating a rye bread ice cream cone. This world had such weird ice cream...

"Yuan, answer me, how many drinks have you had?" Kratos asked. Yuan let go of his death grip hug and held up both hands. Oh dear gosh, he had ten Kratos thought. Yuan fell onto a bench.

"We have to get you upstairs. Between your gambling problem and drinking problem, I really think you need some help," Kratos spoke trying to get Yuan to stand up. He wouldn't budge.

"Another drink, Paul," Yuan spoke banging his hand against the counter. The waiter laughed and passed another cold hard beer to him. Kratos turned to him.

"Can't you see he's drunk as he is?" Kratos asked. The man shrugged.

"Hey, as long as I'm getting paid, who gives a damn," He laughed then walked to the other side of the bar. Kratos starred at Yuan as he drank the bottle rapidly.

"You're going to be such a crab in the morning," Kratos spoke. He grabbed Yuan by the arm but he wouldn't move.

"I'm staying here with my kind," Yuan spoke. Kratos looked at the other people at the bar. There was Eggman, Drew Carey, Jerry Springer, Michael Jackson yet again, and a tall man with a beard that fell down to the floor.

"Theses are your people?" Kratos asked, trying not to laugh. Yuan nodded slowly.

"They love me," He spoke. Kratos tried not to laugh. He sighed then looked at Yuan uneasily.

"What can I do to make you go upstairs?" He asked, fearing what the drunk Yuan might want to do.

"I dunno..."Yuan spoke looking at the ceiling. It was one of those clear glass ceilings where you could look up at the sky.

"Then come on Yuan!" Kratos spoke grabbing Yuan's arm again. Yuan sighed and then looked at his people.

"I Love you all!" He squeaked as he set down a twenty five dollar bill and led the way in front of Kratos. Kratos looked at the starring people, and shrugged. He ran to get in front of Yuan.
"Give me your hand," He commanded as Yuan wobbled around like bowling pin.

"No Kratos, that'll make us look, uh you know, gay," Yuan spoke starring at someone's shoe. Kratos gave a sigh.

"Just do it," He hissed and grabbed the half-elves hand. Yuan closed his eyes as Kratos pulled him to the elevators.

"No not the elevators!" Yuan shrieked. An old lady starred at them. Kratos sighed and look to the right.

"Just close your eyes," He spoke as Yuan did as he was told. For once they made it safely to their rooms. Kratos sighed as he took out his key, which they still thought was a screwdriver, and opened the door.

"I feel tired," Yuan spoke as he charged for the bed and fell down on it.

"At least he's in the room," Kratos spoke. He sighed as splashing was heard from the bathroom, again. Knowing it was Zelos, he ran into the bathroom prepared to tell Zelos to go to his own room. He stood in the doorway to the bathroom in shock. Sitting in the tub was none other than, ok guess, I know you can guess. Yep that's right, Drew Carey!

"Why is Drew Carey in our tub? Wait, don't answer that,"Kratos said slamming the door and locked Drew Carey inside. Was Drew Carey some kind of stalker that just didn't go away? He was starting to think that.

Walking back to the room, he looked for Yuan. Yuan was sitting on the bed, starring at the freezer. Kratos starred at the freezer and sighed.

"You are going to be ok right?" Kratos asked. Yuan shook his head and then looked at the ceiling. He twitched his ears then squealed with happiness.

"Kratos!" He bellowed. Kratos sighed and looked at him.

"Um, what Yuan?" He asked. Yuan pointed up and hummed.

"They're having a stripping party up there," He spoke. Kratos sighed, a drunk Yuan wasn't pleasant at all. He said the most random things. God knows what he could do, or how he would act.

Yuan looked over at Kratos.

"Lollipop!" He yelled. Falling off his own bed from shock, Kratos banged against the floor.

"How the hell am I a lollipop?" Kratos asked. Of all the things to be thought of as. What was even stranger was that Yuan then broke out with the song Candyshop. After half the song was over, Yuan stopped.

"Yuan, you need to go to bed before you drive me insane," Kratos spoke sitting back on his bed. Yuan starred over at Kratos. A few seconds passed, the a few minutes.

"What?" Kratos asked. Kratos grabbed a bag of cheese puffs he had under his bed and began eating them from boredom.

"..." Yuan remained starring at Kratos. Kratos held a cheese puff in thin air and just starred back at Yuan. He then crunched down on the cheese puff. Cr-UNCH!

"Yuan, are you ok?" Kratos asked shoving another cheese puff in his mouth. Yuan remained starring at Kratos.

A banging was heard from the bathroom. Drew Carey... hehehe. Kratos ignored the banging, and oddly a song that was coming from the bathroom that seemed to be about tomatoes but sung by chipmunks? Odd.

"Kratos..." Yuan spoke finally. Kratos stopped eating his cheese puffs.

"What?" He asked, holding the bag. Another few minutes passed, with silence, other then Drew Carey who started singing a 50 Cent Song.

"You're hot," He finally said. Kratos dropped the bag on the bed and gave Yuan the most disgusted look.

"Oh damnit Yuan, we've been over this, no no no," He shook his head and buried his head into his hands. Yuan however just watched Kratos intently.

"Really hot," Yuan spoke. Kratos decided to ignore Yuan and grabbed his cheese puffs.

"And sexy," Yuan continued. Kratos hummed, trying to block out Yuan. He clicked on the tv. But Yuan kept talking.

"So damn hot," He rattled. Kratos, still ignoring him, glanced over at the window. Fluttering outside the window were the Black Eyed Peas on a winged pony. They all waved then flew off to Neverland Ranch to go see Michael Jackson.

"?.." Kratos just starred at the window. Another one of Kratos' worst fears came true. The tv suddenly shut off and all the lights blacked out. No lights, stuck in a room with a horney drunk Yuan ( x3!) and Drew Carey in the bathroom singing rap. This was a nightmare. (Not for me tho, hehehe xD)

"Yuan, stay where you are. For heaven's sake, just stay on your bed," Kratos comanded as Drew Carey began to sing louder.

"Kratos, can I come and sit with you?" He asked. Kratos twitched his left eye. Didn't he just say to stay where he was.

"Oh for Martel's sake, get the damn power back on!" Kratos yelled. Kratos wasn't one to swear, oddly.

"I love you Kratos," Yuan chimed. Kratos starred blankly at the darkness. When would the horror end. Drew Carey then began to sing a Akon song, Mr. Lonely. (I hate that song...).

"Yuan, just shut your eyes and go to sleep," Kratos warned. He hopelessly prayed that Yuan would go to sleep and wake up the next morning and be the moodiest person ever. But of course he had to suffer with this phase of Yuan for the night.

"Can I sleep with you?" Yuan squeaked. Kratos twitched more and grabbed his cheese puffs and began to eat.

"I can't hear you!" Kratos spoke, shutting out Yuan. In the background Drew Carey sang the phrase "Mr.Loneeeeeeely!".

"Please Kratos?" Yuan asked. Kratos continued to eat his cheesepuffs praying the power would come back on. He also helped Yuan would be smart enough to use his magic to light something in the room. But of course, he was drunk.

Kratos extended his wings which lit up the room vaguely. He could see Yuan, still cross-legged on his bed. Yuan watched Kratos still. It was like a zombie movie. So creepy...

"Yuan, just go to sleep," He spoke, hoping Yuan would nod. But Yuan didn't he then got up. Kratos grabbed his cheesepuffs as a shield.

"Stay away Yuan," he warned. His only weapon was a bag of junk food, how pathetic?

"Can I have one?" Asked Yuan sitting down next to him. Kratos glared at Yuan, still twitching.

"Uh, take them," Kratos spoke jumping over to Yuan's bed so the two weren't on the same bed. Yuan ate the puffs very oddly. All you could hear were loud crunching. Very, loud crunching.
The lights flashed back on suddenely. Kratos gave a huge sigh of relief. Looking over, he noticed the carpet was red. What the hell?...

"Yuan, do you see that?" Kratos asked, knowing he wouldn't get an intelligent response.

"I want you," Yuan spoke starring at Kratos. Still oblivious, Kratos looked at the stain. It was fresh. There had been a murder! (Gasp!)

"Yuan, someone is dead," Kratos spoke, now more affraid of what was going on more then the Yuan situation. Yuan thought for a moment.

"I'll kill you if you don't sleep with me," Yuan squeaked. Kratos looked over. Since when did Yuan use threats? It was even strange for him even when he was drunk. He must really meant what he was saying. Kratos twitched.

"Uh, no thanks," He spoke looking back at the stain.

"Blood! Blood!"

Kratos fell off the bed and Yuan caught him before he could hit his head, AGAIN, on the floor. Kratos looked up.

"WHAT WAS THAT! and uh..Thanks," he murmured. He stood up and looked around the corner. There was a trail of blood. This was SUCH a care-free vacation.

"I'm going to check on Drew Carey, he stopped singing, stay here Yuan," Kratos commanded. Yuan gave a small nodd but followed Kratos. Kratos sighed, knowing he'd continue to follow him.

The door knobb was all bloody. It was like the Ring, but with loads of blood!

"I think Drew Carey is dead," Kratos spoke. Yuan gasped, well not really, he was still obsessing over Kratos. Kratos pushed open the door and all that was left in the tub was that creepy girl from the Ring. Ew.. she was laying in the tub, dead from drowning. Kratos shut the door so fast.

"Yuan, we have a problem," He spoke. Yuan tilted his head.

"What? You don't have any protection?" he asked. Kratos just stood back at shock from Yuan, glancing the other way he went to touch the hotel room door knob but they were locked in!

"Shit..." Kratos spoke banging his head against the door.

"We're locked in together?" Yuan squeaked again. He was really squeaking alot lately.

"Please be quiet"

"I love you Kratos!"

"Yuan, the beer is talking, you don't love me. By god, you hate me."

"I want you!"

"Riiiiiiight"

"Hold me!" Yuan squeaked as he huggled Kratos. Kratos starred blankly as Yuan extended his wings and flapped them around.

"You have seven days to liiiiiive," Moaned the Ring Girl in the bathroom. Yuan kicked the door with his foot.

"You're breaking the moment ya damn ominous voice!"

"Yuan, this isn't a 'moment'"

"Yes it is!" Yuan agrued squeezing Kratos tightly.

"Yuan, I don't love you," Kratos complained, still trying to break free of Yuan's grasp.

"You have some whip cream x3?" Yuan asked. Kratos starred blankly as Yuan huggled him tighter.

"Yuan, let go!"

"Oh! You want to go on the bed?"

"On second thought, just keep doing what you're doing," Kratos spoke, getting an enormous head ache.

"Aren't you warm?" Yuan still squeaked.

"No... I'm actually fine,"

"Well, it's warm in here."

"No it isn't!" Kratos yelled.

"Yes it is!" Yuan spoke letting go of Kratos.

"Thank the goddess martel," Kratos spoke, still numb from Yuan's death grip.

"I'm too warm, I want my bob!" Yuan cried. Kratos starred blankly.

"What bob? Bob Barker, Bob from Bob's discount furniture, Bob the Ghost, or Bob the icecube?" Kratos ranted.

"ICE CUBE!" Yuan cried sitting down. Kratos sighed. Yuan was going through mood swings.

Suddenly Michelle screamed at the window.

"PMS!" Uh... no. Anyways, ignoring Michelle's random remarks, Kratos grabbed an ice cube from the freezer and shoved it in Yuan's mouth.

"Happy?"

"K-ratos! i'm choking!" Yuan squeaked holding his throat and falling flat on the bed.

"WHAT! On an ice cube!" Kratos spoke, startled, and un sure what to do.

"Can't breathe!" Yuan squeaked.

"O.o" Kratos just watched Yuan. "You sure you're choking?"

"HELP ME KRATOS!"

"fine," kratos smacked Yuan's back, avoiding his lavender wings, which slapped him across the face multiple times. x3

"Th-thank you!" Yuan squeaked jumping up and hugging Kratos tighter.

"Yuan, you're still drunk aren't you?" Kratos asked. A knock then came from the door.

"Who ish it!" Yuan squeaked.

"Yo! It's Zelos! Yuan, you in there!"

"ZELOS!"

"Zelos, try opening the door, we're locked in!" Kratos commanded, springing to his feet, wait he was already on his feet.

"Locked in, heh? Sounds like your having fun, I'll come back tomorrow," Zelos spoke. Kratos twitched.

"ZELOS! OPEN THIS DOOR! WE'RE LOCKED IN WITH A MURDER!" Kratos spoke banging his fists against the door. Zelos just laughed and ran down the hall screaming Dude Looks Like a Lady. Kratos could hear many people scream.

"PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!"

"ah, bye bye Zelos," Yuan squeaked from his bed.

"Yuan, calm down, we'll be fine. Just let me think, what to do what to do, We're locked in with a mad man, and Yuan is passed out, Drew Carey is dead, the Black Eyed Peas flew by our window, and blood is all over the floor..." Kratos banged his head against the door again.

"Aww! Kratos need a hug?" Yuan squeaked.

"No, no hugs allowed!" Kratos whined.

"I love you Kratos!" Yuan squeaked. Kratos sighed, if only he would say that when he wasn't drunk.

"You're never drinking again. This vacation is a mess," Kratos spoke.

"Are we going to diiiiiiiiiie," Yuan squeaked, hugging a pillow. (x3 he so cute when he drunk. And he only squeaks, which ish funny x))

"No, Yuan, we can't die, remember?" Kratos sighed.

"You mean I can jump out a window and not die!"

"I guess..."

"I can stab a stake through my head and I won't die!"

"Why would you want to do that?"

"You mean I can eat a building, or drink fifty drinks and not die!"

"Ok Yuan, stop it," Kratos spoke walking back over.

"Kratos, pleeeeeeeeease kiss me! I came here against my will!" Yuan squeaked. Kratos froze. Ugh!

"I'm not going to kiss you, I'm not drunk!"

"You wanna get drunk!"

"Right now that sounds better then talking to you," Kratos sighed sitting back on his own bed and starring out the window.

"I have a secret stash of beer!" Yuan squeaked. Kratos sighed, withdrew his wings, and closed his eyes.

"No Yuan."

"K-kratos?"
Kratos glanced over at Yuan. He was holding his head, as if he was going to pass out.

"Yuan, are you alright?" He asked, actually paying attention.

"Wh-ere..." Yuan shut his eyes and fell over, going into a deep sleep. Kratos sighed and gave a meek smile. At least he was fast asleep.

Author's Note:

LOL! I love cliff hangers. I sort of got scared when Yuan asked Kratos if he had protection! (ROFL!) I showed that to one of my friends and she almost died, busting her gut laughing. I am like obessed with Drew Carey. Oh dear gosh! He's dead! But I doubt I'll keep Drew Carey dead for long xP

Who did it? And will Yuan wake up in time? Erm, I tried to be random but I still can't help my obessive yaoi love x3! And yes, I am becoming obessed with Drew Carey D