This chapter is dedicated to:
Frikin Carefree Trunks for being my 100th reviewer. Thank you so much!
Pua Karen and Firebretaher339 for reviewing me and making face the fact that I'm a loser who needs to update.
I have hit some major blocks during this chapter so… yeah. I'M SO SORRY!
Disclaimer: Don't own don't sue
Warnings: Angst. Hasn't been beta read yet. (Wanted to get this out for you guys. You've waited long enough.
Key
"Speaking"
Flashback
-Kyuubi speaking-
'Thoughts'
On with the fic…
What is darkness? Normally when humans think darkness they think evil, lose of hope, struggle, and death. But what humans fail to realize is that with darkness there is no light. With out good there is no evil. With out love, there can be no hate. Death can only come from things that were once alive.
Everyone and everything has two faces, a good side and a bad side. Nature herself is like a ying and yang. She is like two souls yet one in the same, a calm nurturing wind or something that brings death and despair.
Humans are very much that same. Some seem calm and collected but are they really? Can you say you know someone completely? Everyone has secrets, things they don't want anyone else to know. They themselves don't want to know yet they carry this burden alone.
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Fantasy of Torture:
Chapter 10: True Nature
"I don't know why you're so upset Sasuke-kun."
Sasuke said nothing; he didn't even move as to acknowledge that someone was talking to him.
Maybe this voice was a figment of his imagination. An imagination caused by the loneliness in his life. By the deaths that haunts him every time he closes his eyes, or when his mind drifts. His life is nothing but red. A color, he has escaped for the time being, yet he has still bathed in it.
A coppery sent seems to follow him everywhere, yet he is the only one that notices. Everyone else is blinded by his genius, his looks, and his mystery. Blinded are the people who don't see the haunted look in those shadowed eyes. Nor do they notice the longing for someone to look behind porcelain and see the flesh, to see the tears, to see the pain, and to see the blood.
Only one has seen, and has understood and now he's gone. Forever? No, he'll come back, if only for revenge. Then leave as if he was never here to begin with.
"He's coming back, but he'll be stronger. You won't be able to take him as easily as last time.
"It wasn't supposed to be like this…"
"Oh really? Why is that?"
A glare was sent to no where in particular, but he knows that voice, where ever it was, could see it. "He wasn't supposed to hate me."
"Who says he hates you? For all we know he could be in denial. That's perfectly normal for a human. Is it not?"
Could it really be as simple as denial? Sasuke wasn't so sure. Too much has changed. His attitude, the way he carried himself, and his emotions have changed. Gone was the happy go lucky attitude, now there was a pessimistic point of view. Confidence seemed to turn to caution, almost paranoia. Now when you look at him, no smile, no brightness, just… indifference or a non-caring. Something not Naruto.
But Sasuke wasn't the only one who noticed. Oh no, everyone, even people who made it a ritual to ignore the blond seemed to notice. The change was un-natural, confusing, and different. Change is never a good thing if a group relies to much on tradition or what they are use to do on a daily basis.
There was no one to hate, no one to mock, and no one to break. What they wanted came true. The demon carrier has left.
So why aren't they satisfied?
It's been a week since Naruto left. He didn't say many good byes. Actually the only person he seemed to say good bye to was Tsunade. None of the other genins new about Naruto leaving. That left hurt in many who have come to consider him a friend.
Hinata's pale eyes scanned Tsunade's office looking at the many people she have trained and fought with, with mixed expressions on their faces. Some with hurt, others with anger, or indifference. Ino looked tired and sad. Guilt poured off her in streams. Sakura just looked paranoid. Hinata shifted nervously where she stood not knowing what to say in the intensity of the room.
"… Ano… Tsunade-sama? Why has Naruto left?"
The little conversations between comrades stopped when she asked the question that was on everyone's lips. Well almost everyone's.
The Hokage gave a frustrated sigh. She hasn't slept well, so she was tired, frustrated, and stressed. "He is training in another village. All I can say is that he is good hands. Shikamaru is with him and should be coming with a report."
"How could you let them leave with her?" Sakura's voice was scared, like a child. But Tsunade didn't care; she looked at the pink haired girl with cold eyes.
"How could you do what you did to her and drag Ino into it? What you did was dangerous and very foolish." Sakura brought her head down in shame. In her mind what she asked of Ino wasn't bad. Ino on the other hand had different views on it.
Flash Back - Ino Pov
I don't know why I suggested we go through with it. Was it because of what I saw in the hospital? Something inside of me told me not to go through with it, I don't even know why I agreed to it in the first place. Curiosity? The desperation in her voice when she asked me. Or maybe it was because she ASKED me to do it. Knowing that she didn't fear my power like a lot of people did. Fear of me taking their techniques. Not being trusted, I think that hurts more. People won't get close to me because they think that I'm just using them.
Lies. I could care less about their techniques and special skills. I want people to see me as Ino, not just a member of the Yamanaka family who can take jutsus or mess up your mind.
When we first entered her mind there was nothing but darkness and pain, Oh Kami-Sama the pain. It surrounded me like I was underwater drowning. That is what I felt like. I was drowning in her memories. Her feelings became my own her eyes were mine. I don't know what Sakura saw but once we entered I knew we went too far.
The pain and darkness melted way like it didn't belong there in the first place. Everything was so innocent. I don't know how old she was but she was young. She was playing, showing her parents something, I don't know what it was but when she showed it to them I felt filled with pride. I felt her happiness at their approval. Then it changed in an instant.
Exhaustion, panic, pain. All of these emotions filled my very soul. I heard her screams; it made my throat turn raw as I watched her parents being killed. I thought nothing can be worse than this… it does. Chaos. That is the only way I can describe it. I can see her chakra, feel it. It was like a storm of energy, a hurricane of sorts. Bursts of energy spring from her body as her flesh burns. Her body can't take the shocks of chakra. Then I see darkness. She must have passed out.
I don't know what happened but all of a sudden I see myself and Sakura in a room. A room in her head is beyond me, but I guess everyone has a place to store memories that they don't want to see anymore. My eyes scan the darkness and I find her crouched down on what looks like a wall of sorts. She's trembling, from what I don't know. I watch as she lifts her head, looking straight at us. Her eyes seem to glow at us like candles inside someone's home in the middle of the night. It was hauntingly beautiful.
"What are you doing here?" Her voice sounded small. Like the little girl in her memories. But her tone changes along with her eyes. "I'll ask one more time. WHAT are you doing here? Why are you in my mind." Her eyes were so cold, and angry, yet fearful at the same time. I guess I couldn't blame her.
I didn't answer her. What could I have said? Sakura must have thought the same thing because she was silent as well. I let my head fall in shame. I've never felt bad about doing this before but now I'm being crushed with guilt. I whisper an 'I'm sorry' to her not expecting her to hear it but I was wrong.
She snorts at me and stands. "You're sorry?" she says. "Is that all you can say. You have no right to be here. Get out…" I'm frozen to where I am. Despite I'm not in her memories per say I can still feel her emotions as if they're my own. Betrayal. I sank to my knees gripping my heart. I can't take it. Tears fill my eyes as sobs wrack my body.
Sakura is kneeling down by me in an instant rubbing my back. "What are you doing to her? Leave her alone! We didn't do anything to you!"
"You come into my mind with out permission. I would say that is something. But that still doesn't explain why you both are here." I watch as she gets closer to us. Her golden eyes change yet again from cold anger to wild.
"Get out. Get out. Get OUT!" I feel lost, out of control. But not like before, no, not because of the chakra, but personality wise. Like I can't tell my right from my left. What is good or evil. Confusion beyond anything I've ever experienced before. Then she smiles, though looking at her makes her look like a sadistic killer but at the moment she very well could be.
"It is not safe running around a demons mind…" Pain filled my body and I screamed, I could hear Sakura screaming next to me, then darkness took over.
I woke up in a hospital room, I still remember her voice, and it was deadly. Like a sword cutting through cloth with ease. That's what her words did. Cut my consciences, my morality. It was then that I truly realized what I did and how wrong it was to do it.
I was released in a couple of days after the "accident"; on my way home, to train, when ever I went anywhere for that matter I would look around and see people ignore Naruto and just be cold to him. I never understood why, but it made me wonder if he could possibly know how I feel. But I never did find out. No, I was to prideful. What if people started shunning me like they did Naruto because I decided I was going to get to know him better. I didn't want that to happen. I was too scared, scared to be seen with him, or even near him. Now he's gone and I can't do anything about it.
End of flash back
"It was wrong… I realize that now. We were not in any type of battle and I shouldn't have done it." Ino bowed deeply in front of the Hokage. "I'm sorry."
Sakura just stared at the blond haired girl in shock. She was sorry? "She's a freak and we didn't do anything wrong." That last comment was NOT meant to be heard but it was anyway, the next sound was a SMACK.
"How could you say that! Are you really that conceded? I don't know what you saw but I wouldn't wish what happened to her to anyone. She did NOT deserve what we did to her and I feel extremely bad about it." Ino was breathing heavily at the moment from frustration.
Despite the other in the room had no clue what Sakura and Ino were talking about they knew when to keep their moths shut.
"I will inform her of your apology." Ino and Sakura jumped at the comment. Who else besides Tsunade-sama new?
"And you are?" Tsunade asked the stranger that.
"Forgive me my rudeness. I'm Kizu from Hidden Shadow. Escorting Mr. Nara Shikamaru to deliver his report to the Hokage of Konoha." He said it gracefully with a bow.
Shikamaru looked at his "escort" and mumbled a 'show off' before stepping up in front of Tsunade and sighing.
"Come with me than so we can talk in private." The Hokage gestured for the young Chuunin to follow her but he remained where he was standing.
"With all do respect Hokage-sama I'm sure everyone else would like to hear how Naruto is doing."
Tsunade looked around at the determined looks around and shrugged. At least she won't be bombarded with questions latter on. "Very well. Go ahead."
Earlier that day…
I can feel him all over me. I feel this breath ghosting over my skin while he uses my body for his relief. His fingers are like daggers stabbing my flesh making me bleed where ever he touches. The pain will never stop. Physically I guess I can get use to it. But the emotional pain. Knowing what I am… it will never go away. I'm a whore. That is what I am and I will always be one.
The Sasuke in my nightmare smiled at me. "Why do you continue to run from me? Huh, Naruto? You know what you are… You know who you belong too… Just give up and except that you are nothing now. No one will ever want you. You are damaged goods. Like a cracked doll. Who wants to spend the time trying to fix it when they can just get another one; a better one? I'm all you have. I'm the only one who will care for you, who will repair you, and the only one who will love you."
I woke up in a cold sweat. Breathing heavily. Looking around to glance at the clock I had twenty minutes left to sleep. Why should I bother, I won't be sleeping so I get up to get ready. That's when I see myself in the mirror…
I use to motivate myself by looking in the mirror and imagining myself as the Hokage but now all I see is the sick person I have become. "You're nothing but a sick, ugly, disgusting—"
-That's enough you stupid brat! You are not sick, or ugly, or disgusting. Get a hold of yourself.-
"I have a hold of myself. I just realize what I really am. I see what the others always thought me as."
-Say it and I will make sure you regret it.-
It was an empty threat of course. The Kyuubi wouldn't harm Naruto. Not when Kyuubi viewed Naruto as his own kit. He would do anything in his power to stop his kit's pain but this is a battle that only Naruto can fight. What good is all this power when he can do nothing to help his chosen one? It causes the anger inside the fox spirit to grow. He wasn't angry at Naruto, he is not at fault. The fox blames himself. He should have been able to stop it from happening. Yet he could do nothing.
"If I Say What? HUH? That Everything Those Stupid Villagers Said Are TRUE! I'm WORTHLESS! I'm NOTHING!"
The Kyuubi's voice was focused and calm as he spoke, -Tell me boy. What do you see when you look in this mirror?-
Naruto gazed at himself. He's lost weight, his bright eyes dulled and shadowed from lack of sleep. "I see someone who is not worth the fuss. I see a pathetic orphan no one wants. I see a weak ugly demon carrying human being who can't even save himself."
-But you have saved yourself. Numerous times. You survived coldness from humans, battles that you were not ready to face yet. Wars that were not meant to be seen by your eyes at such a young age. You survived a horrible night with someone you trusted.-
"HOW DID I SURVIVE? I DIED THAT DAY And… everyday after… I died… I'm broken… I lost… why? Why won't you let me die?" That has been the blonds wish since the "incident".
-Look at me.-
"How can I look at you when you don't have a physical body?"
-Look into the mirror and you will see me.-
Naruto looked into the mirror and standing behind him was a man. He had long rust red hair that was in a pony tail that reached his hips. Bangs framed his tanned face as blood red eyes watch Naruto from the mirror. Kyuubi had a gentle smile on his face as he reached around a wrapped his arms around Naruto's delicate frame. Making the blond feel safe for the first time since the incident.
Naruto could feel Kyuubi surrounding him. Feel his arms protecting him, smell his sent of the pine trees. He leaned into the touch letting it wash away his fears if only for a moment.
Kyuubi sighed as he rested his head on top of blond hair. -Why? Why would you waist such a life? To die; to kill yourself would be acknowledging defeat. Letting him know that he has won. You are my kit. To watch you die… I don't know if I could handle it. I would have failed you.-
"No… I would not have been your fault. At least if I died you could be free."
-What would I live for? There would be nothing left for me. It is my job to keep you from harm and I have already failed in that aspect. Let me help you heal. Know this boy. If you fall, I will be there to fall with you. Not only that but you have people who would catch you when you fall. Believe that.-
Naruto looked down at the floor tears falling silently from crystal eyes. "How can I believe something so wonderful when I am an abomination?"
"-You are not an abomination Naruto.-" Dueled voices? It seemed like two people spoke that sentence at the same time, but the blond didn't lift his head. "Never call yourself something that will never be true."
His head shot up from gazing at a blurry wooden floor to a blurry Aya. She knocked at his door to make sure he was up, but he never answered, that was when she let herself in and found him arguing with the fox spirit.
"What makes you think that?"
"You breathe air. You bleed. You cry and show emotions.—"
"Then what about Gaara."
The young woman smiled. "Gaara shows emotions you just need to know where and how to look. I know you know he shows them. Forgive me if you think I'm being rude but I must be blunt. You need to get over it."
Naruto's eyes shifted colors at the comment with barely concealed anger. Aya didn't even flinch at his cold glare.
"So I should forget it ever happened?" His voice was cold and threatening.
"I never said forgetting about it. That would be worse than the actual act. I said you need to get over it. You can not move on with life with it eating away at you. You were raped. Realize that there was nothing you could have done to stop it. There was no way for you to prevent it so you can put it behind you. You know what its like to be put in that situation so don't do it to anyone else. Realize that it happened and promise yourself to not let someone take advantage of you again. That is the only thing you can do."
Clear blue eyes narrowed at his visitor. "How would you know so much?"
His visitor shrugged and gave him a weak smile. "I have my ways. I have a feeling you will find out soon. Come, it is time to train. Gaara is already waiting."
The three of them walked along the quiet forest walking to their training spot that Aya would pick out. It was always different; never the same place. Gaara asked her about it once and she said that the forest had a mind of its own:
"For all you know we could be at the same place everyday; it would be the forest that changes around us. When in trouble ask them to help."
Gaara and Naruto didn't understand her way of thinking. The red head decided to voice his thoughts, "That makes no sense. Trees can't walk. They can't even hear you."
A chuckle escaped pale lips. "What makes you so curtain about that. Nature breathes, it bleeds, and cries. Nature can do things that no human can imagine. That is what makes us different from normal humans. We can understand nature where humans try and fail. Humans kill trees without thinking twice. They ignore their screams and cries where we can hear them.
"I've never heard them."
"You were also raised in a human society where such things are not necessary or known. Do not worry you will understand soon enough."
The conversation ended there, neither Gaara nor Naruto asked about it again. Waiting for poof that they believed would never come. Aya slowed in her pace signaling a stop was coming. She stopped and turned around to face the two young men.
"Today we are going to play hide and go seek tag. Won't that be fun?" At their bewildered faces she smiled. "This will help us with tracking, stealth, and hunting. Who wants to start?"
Nobody volunteered so it was decided that they should battle it out to decide who was it. The battle of "Rock, Paper, Scissors." Naruto was declared champion and had the honor to count to 30.
1…
Aya and Gaara took off running in the forest to find a hiding spot.
10…
Now hiding wasn't as easy as one might think. It takes skill to find a hiding spot and making it work. Gaara found himself by an older tree with parts of its stump rotting away making a hollowed area inside of it. It was dark and would keep him in the shadows. The only problem was if discovered he would be at a disadvantage when it came to close combat. He would not have an open area to fight in.
25…
Aya on the other hand was on the branches of trees. She was high up to survey the area and hopefully locate the seeker before the seeker discovered her. She had advantages like the cover of thick branches and leaves, but that could only go so far. She still could be discovered which would place her in a disadvantage. Plus if a fight commenced the battle field would be tricky to maneuver on with only branches as your ground.
30…
Naruto went off searching for his comrades. Kyuubi has been helping his kit extend his senses such as hearing, smelling, and sight. Those lessons will come in handy today. Quickly picking out the sent of Gaara he followed the trail. Now the red head isn't as dumb as some people would have liked, he through his sent off in different directs and if Naruto wasn't careful he would be going in a big circle and not getting anywhere.
This is a time to use your instincts. Don't doubt or question them. Just do it.
"Ok." Naruto stopped his pursuit and closed his eyes focusing on the world around him trying to locate his friend. Unconsciously he asked, 'Hear me… help me find Gaara.' What he didn't expect was to be answered. In his mind he saw the forest rushing by him. He could hear the foot steps in his mind, feel the wind of the trees passing him by showing him the path to take to the red head. He was guided to a hollowed tree and then the "vision" vanished.
His eyes opened and a smirk formed on his face. "I found you". And took off running in the right direction.
Unnoticed by Naruto Aya watched him from the perch on the tree tops. "Good job." She whispered to the quiet wind. Her musings however were disturbed by a snapping twig and the sound of the trees rustling in worry and aggression. "What is happening?"
She jumped from tree to tree until she found what she was looking for. Her breath was caught in her throat as if it trying to choke her.
"Kami help us. Why are they here?"
She has to get the others and run. They were not ready to face them yet. She wasn't ready to face them again. She couldn't face them yet. Fear. That was her reason for retreat. She feared that she isn't strong enough to conquer her nightmares just like Naruto can't conquer his own.
Just when she was about to leave her fears looked up at hear and smirked. The hunters have found her. There were two. For an instant her heart stopped so that her blood could be replaced with adrenalin. It was a stand off as to who would start the chase/battle. Hoping for a little time she rested her hand on the tree she was standing on and whispered to it. "Please help me defeat our enemy and protected our comrades."
The trees answered with the wind. She could feel the spiritual shift and nature preparing to help. She started her run hoping to reach Naruto and Gaara before the Hunters either got to her, or to her comrades first. This wasn't only a battle for survival but a battle against time.
TBC...
Reviews:
Malitia: I love your reviews. They make me smile. Yes we like Gaara as a mindless drone but I need him to participate more and make Naruto all nice and happy. . Huggles.
Nikkler a.k.a Shadow: Thank you for reviewing on my account. I don't think Naruto would be comfortable enough to go into Gaara's room. Yeah Sakura is a dork who needs to die. . Wuv u back. Huggles.
Luna: Sorry it took so long to continue. Huggles.
Dragon Dame57: Yay to jealousy! That should happen at some point. . Huggles.
Crystal-Chan2: Yeah I realized that too. Hope this chapter is better. Huggles.
Ronya: Don't worry. I'm not that big on killing him like was in the past. A lot of people have asked me not to kill him. So I'm considering it. Huggles.
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Firebretaher339: I'm sorry it took so long. I added some more Kyuubi and Naruto conversation. Hope you liked it. Huggles.
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