Hope Anew

Chapter 4: Back to Basics

"…please!" Hope woke with a start, aware of the overwhelming tension in her body. Her eyes were wet with unshed tears and she sat up quickly, trying to push the nightmare from her mind. As her breathing slowed she remembered part of the dream – calling out to someone who was leaving her – but that was as far as her mind could regress.

She was feeling slightly sick, and she wished that Boone was there to take care of her. Conversations were beginning within the group, and Hurley had already moved to stoke the fire before it completely went out. He gave her a small, forced smile as he passed, and Hope had the terrible feeling of being avoided. Until recently she hadn't really noticed the hesitance of the people around her, but now she was painfully aware that she had not made much contact since losing Boone, and their community was suffering.

Ill as she felt, Hope smiled warmly back at Hurley, who looked surprised, but returned the smile with feeling. It felt good to have even this small connection with someone, and Hope realised how much she missed being a part of this group of people. She realised that Sayid was right – she hadn't been taking good care of herself; she should start letting her family help her.

It wouldn't be easy to jump right back into the way things were, but she could start small. Making the decision to get back to basics, and start working her way back into their community brought her a small spark of joy; and with the thought that there was no time like the present Hope went to see her Doctor.

"How are you feeling today?" Jack asked as she entered the caves and picked up a water bottle.

"Okay," Hope frowned slightly, "I think I had another dream last night…"

Jack snapped to attention. He remembered the last time that Hope had told him she was having dreams, and was not sure how to feel about delving into her memories once again.

"What did you dream?" he asked, trying to sound professional rather than extremely wary.

"I don't really remember," she frowned, "I was yelling at someone; someone who was leaving."

Jack smiled sadly, wondering if her complex mind was starting to push her into dealing with Boone's absence.

Hope took a swig of water and turned to ask, "I just wanted to check if it's okay for me to go fishing with Walt today? I mean, Jin's been working so hard on the raft – there hasn't been a lot of time for him to fish, right?"

"I think that should be okay," Jack nodded. "Just take care."

"Sure."

"You know we don't need the fish, right? Locke is bringing in more than enough boar to feed us."

"Yeah, I know," Hope had filled two bottles, and turned to leave. "The fishing isn't really about fishing, you know."

"Yeah," Jack smiled, "I know." He watched her leave, sure that she would make a wonderful mother if and when the time came.

"Hey, Walt!" Hope caught sight of him as he and Michael were moving towards the golf course with clubs in hand. They turned at the sound of her voice, waiting for her to catch up to them.

"I wondered if you wanted to do some fishing with me today, but it looks like you're busy with your dad, so…"

Walt looked up at Michael, silently questioning. Michael smiled, "You can go – there'll be other days for golf. You have to do your share of work around here, too, you know."

"I know," Walt said indignantly, but Hope knew he was happy to be working on something new. Jin's injury had made a decent excuse for them all to take a well deserved break from the raft.

Hope eyed the golf clubs. "You don't mind?" she asked Michael.

"Nah," he brushed it off and laughed, "I'll play with Hurley if I get really desperate. You just keep my boy under control – no treasure hunting or sandcastle competitions when he should be working!"

Hope smiled back, enjoying the easy jokes, "I'll keep a sharp eye on him."

Walt laughed, saluted his dad smartly and marched back towards the caves to find their makeshift fishing spears. Hope hung back with Michael and watched the boy make his military exit.

"And it's nice to have you back with us," Michael said softly, and Hope knew that he was referring to her recent mental state.

"Thankyou," she smiled gently at him and ambled away in Walt's wake.

Hours later Hope and Walt stood on their familiar old fishing rock. They were the original fishing team, starting long before Jin had made his net and showed them up with the number of fish he could catch in one sitting. They had feigned annoyance at the time, but Hope knew that they were both secretly relieved – it took them a whole day of concentration and accuracy while standing in full sun to catch what Jin could carry in one net-full.

They had no equipment but sharpened sticks and a blanket to put the fish in once they were caught, and their skills had become rusty since Jin had taken the primary role of providing fish. They stood poised for action, watching the clear ocean lap against the edge of their rock.

"I'm bored," Walt whispered when a good fifteen minutes had passed since they had seen any trace of a fish.

"I know," Hope sighed, "We're not as good as we used to be, are we?"

Walt shook his head solemnly, and narrowed his eyes against the glare on the water.

"So," Hope continued, resigning herself to a failed fishing venture, "How are things with you?"

"Fine," Walt shrugged, paused, and returned the inquiry, "How about you?"

Hope smiled softly, wishing she had not shut everyone out so completely. "Doing okay, thanks. It was pretty rough-going for a while there, but I think I'm going to be alright."

"I know you miss Boone – he was a nice guy."

Hope blinked tears away. "I do miss him, and he really was a nice guy," she smiled sadly, "I think I just need some time to deal with it all."

Walt nodded wisely, and Hope had the familiar feeling that he was like a grown man in a boy's body.

"I'm glad you're back," he said softly.

Hope's heart ached as she realised how she had let everything slip in the name of grief. She smiled back, "Me too."

Walt threw down his spear and hugged Hope tightly around her waist. She put her arms around his shoulders and thought how lucky she would be to have a son just like him.

"Let's call it a day," she said when they pulled away, and they wrapped the measly three fish they had caught in the blanket and walked back to the beach campsite.

"So, your dad's finally taking a day off, huh?" Hope asked as they approached the path to the caves.

"Yeah, he says the raft is going really well. We're working really hard on it."

"I know," Hope replied, "I've seen the group all working together. It seems like your dad and Jin are almost speaking the same language when you see them putting it all together. It's looking great."

"Yeah," Walt agreed proudly.

"Any idea who the last person to go with you will be?" Hope asked, wondering who, if anyone, their civilisation could afford to lose.

"Not yet," Walt said, "Me, dad, and Jin are still going for sure, but we haven't chosen the fourth person. I think dad secretly wants as much help as we can get from the whole group while everyone still thinks it could be them. He says they probably won't be so helpful if they know they're not coming with us."

Hope chuckled, "That's deviously clever of your dad."

"You don't think it's kind of wrong?" Walt looked concerned.

Hope considered this, "Maybe in theory, but to be honest with you, it's probably your best bet right now. You need people to help get the raft finished, and they're more likely to help if they might be the one to go with you. Plus, it's not like he's lying to them – he really hasn't decided yet, right?"

"Right," Walt looked happy with this answer.

"And in the end it doesn't matter who goes. If everything goes to plan, then whoever goes will get the rest of us rescued – it just means that those of us left here will be have to wait a little longer for a cooked meal." Hope smiled, trying to inspire faith that they would all be rescued eventually.

"Yeah," Walt looked content and proud as they approached the caves.

He ran off to the golf course to show his dad the catch of the day, leaving Hope to choose a story for that night. The sun would be setting soon, and the group from the caves would eat together before the beach-dwellers would join them for story time.

Hope wondered who the lucky fourth sailor would be; and if they were more likely to be rescued, or to be lost at sea. For the first time since the raft became a possibility, Hope acknowledged the idea that they might never see Michael and his crew again.