Disclaimer: All of the original and familiar characters are property of Meg Cabot and her series The Mediator, but the plot and new faces are property of me.

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Chapter 12

When I wake up to the pounding in my head and my aching feet, I squeeze my eyes shut to see if I can go back to sleep. But my mind is restless, and I start remembering snippets from last night. Jesse and I had a fight, I made out with Paul, and then he drove me home. I bolt up and find myself in my bed. With the rush of the sudden movement, my head screams in agony.

I squint my eyes, and realize that I am alone in the room. Thank God. I get out of bed slowly and put my feet gently on the floor; they too scream in protest and I whimper at the soreness of my soles. Finally, I get up enough nerve to walk into my bathroom, and take a shower. I wash my hair and scrub my entire body.

After letting the hot water pound on my back, I regretfully get out of the shower and step into some comfy jeans and my black leather jacket, which makes me feel less vulnerable. When I walk back into my room, I jump when I see Jesse sitting on the window seat looking out into the sea.

He doesn't realize I'm there, so I just look at him, and remember all the times I would come home and see him just sitting there either reading or petting his cat. He looks so serene and at peace. It's like his mind is settled. I wish mine could be like that.

Jesse turns him head after a minute, and his brown eyes sadden me when I look into them.

"Hello Suze," he says while getting up from the window seat.

"Hi Jesse." I notice that there's something different about the way he is talking and there's even a different glint in his eye.

"I'm sorry about last night." He says while walking over to me. "But I want to make it up to you, Suze. I want to make everything better. Can I do that?"

I smile at him while he wraps his arms around my waist. All of a sudden I get this weird feeling that Jesse's changed in more than one way, but I shrug it off. "Okay," I agree, and Jesse smirks. He has never smirked before. It looks kind of nice, but at the same time weird.

Jesse smiles at me when I smile up at him, and then he comes down and kisses me hard on the lips. I am so startled that it takes my breath away. His tongue darts into my mouth, much like how Paul was kissing me last night, and Jesse's arms tighten around my waist.

I wrap my arms around his neck, and Jesse starts pushing me towards my bed. I stop him and break the kiss. "Jesse, what are you doing?"

"I thought we were going to make out."

"Well, I really don't feel like making out right now. It's too early, and I ache all over. Can we do it some other time?"

"Well, what about tonight? You can come over to my house, and we can have our date over again." Jesse's uses puppy eyes on me.

"No, Jesse, remember, I'm hanging out with CeeCee tonight. But maybe sometime this week we can do something. Right now, I have to go somewhere, so I'll call you, okay?"

Jesse doesn't say anything, so I slide on some flip-flops, and make my way to the door.

"Wait," Jesse says while grabbing my arm. "Where are you going?"

"That's none of your business!" I say while trying to get away from Jesse, but his grip is like a vice.

"You're aren't going over to Paul's are you?" Jesse asks maliciously.

"Well, what if I am?" I ask while pulling away and wondering what the hell got into Jesse all of a sudden.

"Suze, you know I don't trust that guy. He's bad news," Jesse says and lets go of my arm momentarily.

"Well, you know what Jesse, I think that you are bad news right now. So, good-bye." I get out of my room, and run down the steps, taking two at a time. I slide into the garage and throw myself in the car.

Revving the engine, I pull out of my driveway and into the street. I head off towards Paul's house.

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Paul has given me hot cocoa and has listened to me tell my story about how Jesse was acting weird. He listens, and the whole time he doesn't smirk. It makes me nervous. I wonder if Paul has changed too.

I look around his room. We're sitting on his bed, and suddenly I want to be closer to him.

"Paul," I say after telling my story.

"Yes, Suze?" He asks while locking his eyes with mine.

"I was wondering what you think about how Jesse is acting. Do you think it was wrong of him to be that way with me?"

Paul looks at me and then takes my hand in his. "I think it was wrong of him to hold you the way he did. And you know Suze that I would never be that rough with you."

I nod my head and then place my cup on his nightstand. Paul is still holding my hand, and for one moment, it feels like its Jesse's hand holding mine. "Have you decided?"

"Decided on what?" I ask while looking back at Paul's eyes.

"On if you want to be with me or with Jesse."

"Well, as of right know, I think it would be wrong to not give Jesse a second chance. I mean, he's supposed to be my soul mate. Do you believe in soul mates?" I ask him.

Paul doesn't hesitate for a moment, but he just looks me in the eye and says, "I believe in you." Then he kisses me, and I swear it is the best kiss I have ever had. It makes me feel whole, and I cherish the feeling.

I expect Paul to try and make out with me, but he stops and takes my hand instead. I just look at him puzzled and bewildered by the mouth-melting kiss I have just received. "Oh Susannah," he whispers in my ear.

I look at him and he looks at me, and we just sit there on his bed, holding hands, and I feel as if I am complete, which is something I never expected to feel with Paul. Spooked, I get up and begin pacing about the room.

Paul doesn't ask any questions, he just watches me as I pace and think. I think about if I should just give up on Jesse and go to Paul, or if I should stick with Jesse, to see if he has really changed, or if it was just today he's in a strut. I think about how Paul kissed me, and how I had felt alive. It was like when the first time Jesse kissed me. That was the best kiss of my life. It had been filled with love, and hope, and a future. Now, when I kiss Jesse, all I feel are the remnants of that love; he doesn't kiss me like that.

It's probably because he is afraid of being passionate, because then he would loose all self-control, and you both would do something you're not read for, some part of my smarter side of my brain says to me.

I huff out loud, and then look at Paul, who is looking straight at me, and I can feel his stare all the way down to my toes. It makes me blush.

"Are you okay?" Paul asks when I sit down on the floor and cross my legs Indian-style.

I nod my head, but I don't really mean it; I am still deep in thought. Paul seems to sense this, and lets me think. After a while, he lies down on his down comforter and begins to snore softly.

I get up quietly, write him a note, and then look back at him sleeping. I tiptoe over to him, bend over, and give him a light kiss on the cheek. Then I leave and go back to my house.