Disclaimer: All of the original and familiar characters are property of Meg Cabot and her series The Mediator, but the plot and new faces are property of me.
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Chapter 17
Jesse and I continue making out…and then some time passes and making out turns into something else. I'm not exactly sure what it is, but one of his hands is under my shirt, my jeans have gone MIA, and my hair is out of my ponytail. In fact I have never seen Jesse this worked up before.
We are still on the couch Jesse's tongue in my mouth, when all of a sudden he stops stands up and picks me up in his arms. I find myself lost in a romantic fantasy. I don't pay attention to what Jesse is doing, because I am in a daydream. But then I feel myself fall, and I am on Jesse's bed. He is cowering over me.
"Suze." Jesse throws himself on top of me. "I love you. I always have! I need you; I want you, oh, so bad. Suze."
Under this weight I can't really say much—so I just kind of grunt.
"Suze?" Jesse asks leaning up over me. "Are you ready?"
I hesitate trying to figure out what the hell Jesse is talking about. "Ready to do what?" I ask.
Jesse's eyes darken and he comes in closer to me; his lips hover over mine. I feel myself shiver with a hunger. Jesse's breath teases my lips; I take a deep, unsteady breath. As a response he smirks, the damn sexy bastard. I drag my teeth across my lips.
"Oh Suze," Jesse says, "I want to make love to you."
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I just about jump out of my skin; what I do do is jump right off the bed.
"You want to do what?" I yell.
"I want to make love to you, Suze. Finally, we can be closer than we've ever been!" Jesse says while trying to take my hand and pull me closer to him.
Jesse gives me a look after I have pulled away. "Suze? What's wrong?"
I don't give him an answer, and he flares up. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG?"
I jump at the tone of his voice and I stare into the eyes that I love, however his eyes are not the brown and warm and happy ones I love, but they are cold and sterile and steel blue.
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I am out the door before you can blink an eye. I don't even have my pants on. However my shirt is pulled down as far as it will go. I am running in my sandals.
Before I know it I'm breathing hard, and I hear Jesse yelling behind me.
"Suze! Come on! Stop! Please!"
I don't dare stop running. My mind is spinning. What the hell has happened to Jesse?
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With the extra boost of adrenaline, I outrun Jesse, and eventually his yelling disappears into the night's silence. I get to the Coffee Clutch, which is still open, and I jump into my unlocked car. Fuck! My keys are in my jeans.
I just sit there thinking and hitting the replay button in my head. Things have gone terribly wrong.
I sit there for about thirty minutes just thinking. It gets really cold in the leather seats without any pants on, and soon enough I'm shaking. I am still thinking about what had just happened, and what I should do, when someone knocks on the car window. I jump in my seat and look to my left. It's Paul and Mr. Baumann.
I gasp a little, and pull down my shirt some more; it doesn't really help though. I crank down the window and some cold air rushes in.
"Suze? What are you doing out here all alone?" Paul asks with a worried look on his face.
"Suze, are you all right?" Marc asks. "You look frightened."
I don't respond. How can I? What do I say to Paul and Marc? How can I put what I'm thinking into words?
"Susannah?" Paul asks again. "Why don't you have any pants on?" I look up at his face, and tears fill my eyes. "Oh Suze," he says soothingly. He turns to Marc. "I think I'm going to take her over to my place and get her calm."
"Yes, that sounds like a good idea," Marc says to Paul. Then he adds to me, "Suze, I will see you on Monday in my class, there are a few things we need to discuss. Okay?" He turns back to Paul, "Remember, just call me if you need anything." Paul shakes his hand and Marc walks away.
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Paul helps me move over to the passenger seat. He hot wires the car and then drives me over to his house. We get inside and I slowly walk up the stairs to his room.
"Do you want to take a shower?" Paul asks me while I lay down on his bed. I am barely thinking about anything anymore. I feel dead.
"I'll take that as a no," Paul says and then goes over to his dresser and pulls out a pair of sweatpants and a clean Hanes tee. "Here, I'll leave you so you can change into something more comfortable."
Paul leaves the clothes next to me on the bed and walks out of the room. I get up slowly and take off my shirt. Then I put on the pants and tee and they smell good—almost like home.
I then lay down on the bed again and close my eyes while the tears flow down my cheeks.
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I must have fallen asleep, because when I wake up on Paul's bed the next morning and take a peek at the clock it's almost eleven.
Jesus! I sit up quickly and then gasp as I feel an instant headache.
"Susannah?" Paul walks into the room. "Here, take some Advil." He says when he sees me clutching my head in agony. He hands me a glass of water and two Advil. Then he sits down on the bed with me. "Did you sleep okay?"
"Oh my gosh!" I say after swallowing the pills. "I totally put you out of your bed! I'm so sorry."
"Don't worry about it, Suze. I just slept on the couch." He nodded to the couch on the other side of the room.
"Well thank you for your hospitality, but I really should be getting back home," I say while getting up slowly.
"Wait," Paul says and clasps my forearm, the connection brings me off my unsteady feet and onto the bed again.
"What?" I ask, rather impatiently.
"Suze. What happened last night?"
"I don't—d-d-don't wa-wa-want t-to," I break off. I will not cry. I will not cry. I will not cry.
"Suze, it's okay, it's me. You can talk to me." I look into Paul's eyes and I see warmth. Something that was never there before.
Instead I just flee.
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After getting home, I had a lot of explaining to do. But Paul had called my mom last night and told her the situation. What Mom wanted to know was what happened before Paul found me.
"Susie, come on, talk to me, sweetie." Mom begs me while sitting on the edge of my bed, while I curled up at the head of it. I just want her to go away. I need some space. I need to think. I need to do some homework.
"Well," Mom begins after getting nothing out of me. "I'm going to go downstairs. Come down if you need anything. Anything at all." She get up and comes over to kiss me on the forehead. I don't have the strength to push her away.
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After about twenty minutes of just sitting there I get bored and start pacing around my room. I want to kick something. Maybe I should get a ghost in here and beat it bloody (figuratively speaking of course). I haven't seen some for a while now—well, except for Father Dom.
Oh no, all of those horrible things about the Dagger flood back into my train of thought. I clutch my head. Oh God, what did I do to deserve this?
"You did plenty," says a cold voice.
I spin around in my room and face the bay window. He was back; the demon "Seirios" was back. I glared at him, ready to take whatever kind of throws he hurls at me.
He made a tutting sound. "Susannah, know, don't you remember that you can't touch me. I know you want to. It's only a natural human instinct to want to touch something they desire, something angelic. But I'm sorry, you just can't." He grimaces at me, and I feel like I'm going to throw up.
"Don't worry about that side-effect." He says. "It's only temporary." He grimaces again, this time showing all of his teeth, and I just about hurl all over my carpet. Damn demon. Wish he would just go back to Hell.
"Oh, now Susannah Simon! What a thing to say, or rather think." He started walking around my room. I stepped away from him so we were circling each other. He didn't seem to take much notice of my movements while he talked. "Now, as I understand it, your life hasn't been too peachy lately, has it? Your priest dies, your boyfriend changes personalities, and the person you thought you hated; now you seem to love and trust. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. You really do need to make up your mind, Susannah. You know that it hurts to mess with other people's emotions." Seirios stops for a minute. "Oh, and you have been crying a lot too."
That is the last straw for me. "Get out of my room." I hiss.
"Oh, but I like it in your room. Granted it could use a little more heat." His eyes light up and suddenly I feel like I'm on fire. I will not scream. I will not scream. I will not scream. "You're no fun," Seirios says and the burning sensation stops and I crumble to the ground. I quickly get up though; I don't want to give him another advantage.
"Susannah. I thought you understood this already. I have all the advantages. I'm a demon, and you, my dear, are just a mortal. A female mortal at that. And we all know how weak and stupid female mortals are. It's only to balance the strength and charisma that males have." Seirios snorts. "God-he's all about balance with you mortals." He spits the last word as if, as if he's jealous.
"Are you jealous?" I ask before he has time to read my mind again.
He looks at me startled for only a moment; then regains his composure. "No, my dear. But you did take Him away from us!" His eyes light up and I'm burning again. I will not scream. I squirm. I fight. I'm free. I fall on my feet, and glance over at Seirios who has doubled over and is breathing hard. "You little bitch!" He yells after standing up. Then with a poof he's gone, and all of my energy with him.
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I collapse on the floor, rolled up into the fetal position.
I hear a knock on the door.
"Suze? It's me, David. Can I come in for a moment?" He waits and then without an answer he opens the door slowly. I hear him take a sharp inhale and then rush over to me. "Are you okay? Do you want me to call Mom?"
I shake my head and get up off the floor. My skin feels like it's still burning a little bit. I look at David and concern covers his face. Then I look at myself in the mirror and I have what look like first degree burns all over my exposed skin.
"Jesus," I whisper under my breath.
"Are you sure you're okay? I was standing outside your door, and I heard you pacing around. And then you said something to somebody, I think it was, 'Get out of my room.' Then after a while you asked, 'Are you jealous?'
"Suze?" I look over at David, whose eyes are worried. "What's going on?"