The Secret Diary of Albus Dumbledore, based during the events of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
- Hired a new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher today. Former pupil and friend of the late James Potter. Severus seemed to think that there was some form of problem with me hiring a werewolf but as I see it, the condition can only aid in his knowledge, experience and ability in teaching the subject. Now where did I put those sherbet lemons?
- I expect the full cooperation from all my staff members in ensuring the safety of all students when they return to Hogwarts this year, after Sirius Black's escape the ministry seem rather agitated that he could be coming after Harry, so I am having to bear having Dementors around the school entrances. It's rather exciting actually because every time I leave the grounds I have to go past them and I have memories of a raunchy little witch come flooding back, so have of course forbidden them to come within the school grounds as the excitement could be a bit too much whilst having to run the school. Though it's all for the children's safety really. I wonder what happened to that little sexpot of a witch…probably killed by Voldemort as well, ah well yet another name to strike off my 'People I Know' list.
- Dementors raided the Hogwarts express, Potter fainted, no surprises there, in fact the staff has a book going on who will be the next one to drop. My money's on Potter, I swear that boy's collapsed more times in three years than I've had sherbet lemons. Still not found them…maybe I should tell the faculty to keep an eye out for them.
- Told McGonagall about my sherbet lemons, she told me I'd probably eaten them. Stupid Scottish Hag. Just because she doesn't need sherbet lemons to look sour. Potter fainted during Quidditch! I WON THE GALLEONS! V. Happy Headmaster. Though I was quite angry the Dementors hadn't done it sooner so did lots of shouting and scary magic before taking Potter to the castle. Must get the boy a present for winning me those galleons, even though he is a jerk.
- Posted an offer of a reward for the safe return of my sherbet lemons. Gryffindor won Quidditch match, gave Fred + George lots of food when bumped into them in the corridor, told them to go to Hogsmeade to get more if they ran out. Black broke into the castle and attacked Ron Weasley. Still no word on my sherbet lemons.
- Have hired a private detective to find my sherbet lemons. Pettigrew still alive, Black going to Dementors, Lupin turned into Werewolf. Had to attend Buckbeak's execution, sent Harry and Hermionie back in time to save Black and Buckbeak. Severus has been gloating about getting Order of Merlin, smarmy git, wanted to recite my title to him, but just smiled instead. Fudge has been loitering around the castle, didn't drink the poisoned tea I gave him. Stupid fool. Am beginning to suspect a conspiracy in the ministry. Detective reports Severus had my sherbet lemons, smarmy git, will force him to teach potions for another year as punishment.