The Secret Diary of Sirius Black, based during the events of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

- Fudge came to visit. Pompous git didn't drink the poison tea I gave him. Couldn't believe the front of the Daily Prophet had picture of wizarding family and Peter was there with him, the slime. Decided to escape and murder him. Wonder how Lupin is, hope he still doesn't had a fetish for young ginger wizards…

- Escaped Azkaban! Go Me! V. tired after the long swim, well its worked up quite an appetite, shame Dumbledore isn't here I could have had some of his sherbet lemons. Going to Little Whinging to find Harry, see if he's as sexy as his father was.

- Harry sexier than his father, was surprised, can see why Lupin had fetish for young wizards…not too sure on the ginger though. Am still hungry. Am going to journey to Hogwarts and kill Peter…Ministry will think I'm after Harry. They won't have been reading my anonymous letters claiming my innocence. Note to self: stay away from Dementors.

Number of rats eaten: 18

- Nice to be back in Hogsmeade. Made friends with an oddly shaped cheese, tells me it used to be a cat. Is sneaking me inside Hogwarts during Halloween feast so I can kill Peter whilst everyone is at dinner. Stupid Fat Lady wouldn't let me in. Saw fly on her and tried to swat it…forgot was in dog form, accidentally ripped her painting…opps…ran away in case I got into trouble for it…later thought I couldn't get in much more trouble…keep forgetting I'm a wanted murder. Heard Dumbledore had his sherbet lemons stolen.

Number of rats eaten – 36

- Saw Harry play Quidditch, he's very good…until he faints and falls fifty feet. He wasn't very graceful doing that…not bad as a Seeker though. Oddly shaped cheese stole passwords to Gryffindor common room for me, broke in last night, saw Peter's 'owner'…young ginger haired wizard…poor boy, hope he doesn't meet Lupin. Boy woke up and screamed, decided it best to runaway…even though he screams like a girl…so close to killing him last night got me to thinking what I was going to do after this…then got distracted by rats.

Number of rats eaten: 54

- Finally got chance to kill Peter, had to kidnap young ginger friend to do it, but still…Harry and Bushy haired friend came to save him, thought I was going to kill Harry too, stupid Ministry not reading my letters, must start writing and impressing upon them to start taking anonymous letters more seriously. Lupin burst in, didn't know he was at Hogwarts…poor ginger friend…helped me to try and kill Peter. Snape interfered, greasy haired git, got knocked out by Harry and friends…BEST MOMENT EVER! Lupin turned into Werewolf, Pettigrew escaped, Dementors caught me, got locked in tallest tower and somehow freed by Harry…think must have been Dumbledore's doing, he was jealous of Snape getting Order of Merlin…took Hippogriff and escaped. Sent letter to Harry and owl to ginger friend as an apology for him having to put up with Lupin, said it was for losing his rat. Wonder if Dumbledore found his sherbet lemons