In the bathroom Amy was leaning on her palms as she looked at her reflection in the mirror. 'Why am I so scared, everything's goanna work out nothing bad can happen." Amy tried to tell herself this but there were over a thousand things that could go wrong and she knew it. She backed up against the wall and slid down to a setting position. She reached her hand into a bag that sat against the bathtub and she pulled out what looked to be a diary, it was a small light blue book with 'My Past' written on the cover. She opened it to the first page and took out a pen from Rouge's bag, and began to write.
I am starting this diary because I have started a journey.
I am so afraid of this that it terrifies me to no end, but
I go on anyway. There is so much for me to discover
yet so much for me to lose. I have left everything
behind and now I am taking the first steps into a bran
new world. I feel so strange sometimes I just
want to run away from everything and everyone, but I
know I can not do that. Tonight is the nigh where I
truly become a different person. I beg God's forgiveness
for what I am about to do. I will do something I
have never done before I will break the law. I do it
for a reason of witch I am not sure and yet I can only
pray that at the end of this journey I will be alive and
home.
-Amy 8/20/02
Shadow leaned against a wall in the ballroom, he didn't even noticed some of the strange looks he was getting because of the way he dressed. Shadow didn't wear a tuxs and nether did Knuckles who was now dancing with Rouge around the ballroom. Shadow looked up and toward the door and that's when he saw her.
Amy walked into the room she was glowing with beauty she wore a red dress that stopped just above her knees, it had no shoulders, and she wore a pair red high-heeled boots with it. She had her quills pined back slightly in the front and she wore the special ear rings along with small touch of makeup. Shadow stared at her with wide eyes. He finally got a hold of himself and began to approach her. Amy spotted him and smiled as he stopped in front of her. "Hey." Amy said a little timidly.
Shadow nodded in response and he didn't know why but he extend a hand to her in a motion that a man made when asking a woman to dance. Amy blushed and slowly placed her hand in his. He gently pulled her to him and they began to gracefully dance around the ballroom. Shadow didn't even know he knew how to dance. Amy smiled as she looked up into Shadow's red eyes, the song began to get slower and so the step of the dance did as well. Shadow had placed his hand around her waist and with the other hand held her left one. Amy softly put her head on his shoulder and brought her body closer to his her whole body seem to be resting on him, but Shadow kept stiff he had his head up his expression seemed slightly softer the angry look was gone and his eyes were slightly closed and his mouth was not frowning or smiling.
"They're falling in love." Rouge said in sigh as she stood with Knuckles at the refreshment table.
"What no way, Shadow probably doesn't even know how to love." Knuckles was kinda shocked to hear Rouge talk like this. "Amy's setting herself up for another broken heart."
"Don't say that." Rouge said in a gently voice. "Please don't say that."
"Rouge I didn't mean anything."
Rouge turned so she was directly in front of him and gently rested her head on his shoulder. "She doesn't know what it's like to be loved, and it scares her so bad to be feeling it now."
"She won't really admit it but I know she loves Shadow, she's just afraid to really trust anyone again."
Knuckles took Rouge by her shoulders. "Okay enough dejection, we need to get started."
"Yea, follow me." Rouge said as she started to walk for a hallway that was rather empty. They came to an elevator and Rouge pressed the button. The two moved quickly trying not to be seen. They finally reached the second floor and Rouge and Knuckles excited the elevator. Knuckles was about to turn the corner when Rouge grabbed him by his wrist. "Hold on I need to take care of the guard first." Rouge pushed him back, and then began to walk toward the door around the corner where a male fox in a black uniform stood. He saw Rouge coming and turned to her. "Can I help you miss?" He said nicely in truth this fox found Rouge quite attractive and that was what she was counting on.
"Oh I am just looking for someone to talk too, I am just so lonely." Rouge coed as she took a few steps closer to the guard and batted her eyelashes.
"That's too bad about you being alone." He replied as he looked down at her and smiled slightly he liked what he was seeing. "I could well keep you company if you'd like."
"Oh would you do that for me?" Rouge smiled and put her arms around his neck.
"I'll also do something else for ya babe." He grinned and leaned in to kiss her.
Rouge pulled her head back. "wait I want to something for you first." She pulled her leg back and then rammed it as hard as she could right into the guy's crouch.
The fox fell backwards on the floor unconscious. Knuckles came from around the corner his face was red with anger as he stopped next to Rouge who was just pulling a card key from the fox. Rouge stood up and blinked at him. "What?"
"Did you have to do it like that?" "And why did ya have to lay it on so thick?" He asked in a jealous tone.
"Hey it's worked on you doesn't" Rouge said as she turned to the door and ran the card through the slot.
Knuckles was quite for a moment, Rouge had gotten him there. Rouge had walked over to a control panel and was pressing and turning buttons.
Amy felt so peaceful she never wanted the song to end, but it did. She stood there with her head on Shadow's shoulder for a few more moments before moving away, she had to turn away quickly so he wouldn't see her eyes shaking almost as if scared and her face turning red again. Suddenly she heard Rouge's voice in her ear. "Amy come in, we're about to turn off all the security get ready."
Amy looked back up at Shadow. "Come on, Rouge is ready."
The two unnoticed walked to the jewel, and they watched as the lazars and other precautions were turned off. Shadow took a step closer and held Amy's hand. "Okay Knuckles is goanna kill the power Amy, are you ready?"
"Yes do it." Amy gave the command and the suddenly the lights went out.
Shadow with out hesitating smashed the glass grabbed the emerald and began a chaos control as he felt Amy press her head to his chest. Even though it was dark and he couldn't see he knew that Amy's eyes were shut and that she was scared. The two disappeared unseen by anyone.
The two had returned to the hotel room and were on the balcony. Amy opened her eyes as she felt Shadow start to pull away. She watched him as he jumped to the railing and then off into the darkness without another word spoken. Amy walked into the room, her head cast down as she took off her dress and put on her regular sleeping clothes. 'Why did I feel so happy tonight it's nothing I know I can't be in love…what's it matter I feel like dieing right now.' She had picked up her bag that had her diary, cell phone, and other stuff in it and was about to sit down on the bed, but her cell phone begun to ring. She pulled it out of her purse and answered it.
"Hello?"
"Amy come back too me." The voice belonged to Sonic it was hushed and tense.
Amy flinched and as her eyes began to quiver with terror. She couldn't speak.
"Amy you need me, without me you can't live." Sonic's voice scared her now just to think of him frightened the living daylights of her, Sonic was no longer a friend he was a stalker. "Tell me where you are, I'll come save you." Sonic said trying to get her to talk.
"N-no it's not true I don't need you anymore…I never needed you." Amy said weakly.
"You want me and I want you more than anything now tell me where you are." He said again.
"NO, I HATE YOU!" She threw the phone across the room where it hit the wall and landed on the floor all she could hear was a dial tone. She had pressed her back against the opposite wall and slid down to the ground. Tears fell from her eyes now as she was filled with frustration and fear. She reached for her diary and tour it open and rapidly begun to write:
My fear engulfs me I am afraid.
he stalks me day and night and
even in my dreams. I am alone
now and forever with this enemy.
I pray that I will die and be gone
it will all be over no more pain no
more suffering that is all my life is.
I don't want anything anymore no
more fear, no more anger, no more
laughter, no more love. Leave me
alone now with death and happiness
with no enemies no friends. My life
is useless I feel dead no longer are
there wishes in my head only fear
and loath. I am lost in it wondering
this endless path of pure hell. May
my blood and pain prove my life is
damned to no end, what dose it
matter no longer do I feel mortal
pain, only the wishes of death and
freedom from this world.
- Amy 8/20/02
Amy grabbed her purpose from the bed and tore through; she pulled out a small knife that she used for cutting material and stray threads. Then she took it and dragged it across her wrist, making a long smooth cut. She let the blood pore over the pages, followed by tears, not tears of pain but of fear, hatred, and sadness. The blood and tears bled through the pages, Amy cut herself on her other wrist and then on each of her arms and pressed each cut to the page. Finally when she began to get feel weak and she stood up on wobbly legs blood dripping from her arms and hands. She placed the diary next to the bed on the floor in hopes it would not be found. Now she could no longer go on she fainted from the loss of to much blood, her body lay limp on the floor with the knife drenched in blood glistening in the moon light a few inches from her hand.