I awoke the next morning to damp bed sheets strangling my body as I fought to escape the nightmare still vivid in my memory. Rolling over onto my side I reached for my journal I still religiously turned to after a tumultuous nights sleep. My sweaty fingers grasped a moment too late as the pen slid out from my fingertips and rolled into the darkness underneath my bed. I rolled onto my back again and stared up all the ceiling - what was worse?

The fact that I could not bring my weary frame to retrieve the pen?
Or the fact that the very idea of reliving the dream in writing scared me enough to resume my coma like position for another hour or so?

Frustrated, I ran my fingers over my clammy forehead and into my hair.

Fire.

On Fire.

Help me. Help me. Help me.

Why won't you help me?

On Fire.

Fire.

- - Enough. Out of bed. Now.

"Helga!" Miriam's voice slammed into my bedroom door.

"Yes!" I heard myself scream back as I jolted into an upright position, the tiny hairs on my arms standing at attention.

The fear is cold isn't it? Fire isn't. You should have saved me. You know you could have.

"You have a visitor!"

"I got it. I got it. I know where the room is."

"You've been here before?"

-- silence.

"You're for real? No shit?" came Jenny's disbelief traveling up the stairs behind Miriams.

-- silence.

"Ohmigod. You're serious. …uh..yeah, I've been here."

"Well then help yourself in dear."

Jenny pushed open the door and stared at me, "That woman needs to remember to refill those prescription bottles. Holy shit. She's not here….Whoa Patacki! Long night?"

"Hey..and no."

"You look like death."

"Yeah, I had a bad dream."

"Me too. I dreamt I walked four blocks to come see you and your crazy mom wouldn't let me in then when she did I found you in your room looking like a corpse." she laughed and sat down on my dresser.

I regained control of my legs and made my way to the closet.

"So you're here. What's the news?"

"I ran into that guy that was a prick to you last night."

I nearly choked.

"Arnold!"

"Yeah. The kid with the weird head." she laughed, picking at her fingernails. "He showed up at Stinkys."

With my tank top halfway over my head I swallowed loudly. "He WHAT!"

"I don't know Helga, I'm not his keeper. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that he's not that bad afterall. He's actually pretty damn smart."

"Yeah. He is."

The silence was deafening.

"You like him, Patacki?"

There were several things I did next that completely ripped any validation I had in two. It cold have been the quick jerk of my neck to face her, or the way my eyes held hers with a fierce empty stare, or the way I blinked profusely. Yet, despite all the dead signs that read YES on my forehead, I choked out a meager, "No. Not at all."

- - too quick. She knew. Why was she asking?

"Why?" I recovered.

You're so brilliant Patacki. Interrogating her next will definitely validate your plea. You twit.

"Because I think I'm intrigued." she said simply.

Simply those words fell at my feet. She was so simple. So honest. So much braver than I was. So unafraid. Of course she was… she wasn't hiding a history of secret childhood love obsessions inside her still beating chest but maybe the biggest difference between us was that Jenny was not afraid of me and had no inhibitions about telling me the blatant, painful truth.

I offered her only a pathetic, "Oh."

"So I think I'm going to try and run into him later."

I regained my composure. "How unlike you. Chasing boys." I winked.

"How unlike you." she retorted, "Being jealous."

And like a silent predator, she slithered out my bedroom door and down the stairs, leaving me open mouthed and empty.