Chapter Four or So: The Chapter after Chapter Three.
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HBP! Sob!
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllll… I guess the realness of this story actually happening in the canon is officially out of the question now…(not that it wasn't before) but that hasn't stopped other bad Mary Sue authoresses and it won't stop me!
Disclaimer: I love doing these! I can think up new things for each one!
Ummm…. I do not own anything at all. Not a thing in the world 'xcept for the guitar on my back and the sneakers trudging me down the big empty country road of life.
Sorry this chapter took so long! You guys better review!
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Care of Magical Creatures was their next class, and the small gaggle of Gryffindor seventh years were joined by the Ravenclaws, most of which Harry didn't really know very well.
Hagrid had them looking over fire crabs today. Harry and Seamus were paired up over a particularly ornery one; it was hard to polish off the gemstones set in its back, as it was shooting small tongues of flame and sparks at the boys from its rear-end area.
Mary Sue was paired up with Hermione, who looked like her period had come three weeks too early. The cute little turtle they were cleaning was cooing and rubbing up against the new student, who almost had to push it away, to better clean and polish the turtle's shell spotless.
Periodically, Hagrid would trudge back into his hut and leave Grawp to watch over the students (or be watched over by). The third time this happened, he poked his head out the door and declared, "Don' mind me, I've got a sick unicorn up in here… Gotta heal its leg, got broken, poor thing… Jus' go on with yer cleanin'…"
Mary Sue looked up with a little gasp. "Oh no! A sick unicorn? Oh, the poor dear! Please, Mr. Hagrid, might I just be able to take a little look at it? I have some powers that might be able to help… Please sir?" Her eyes got all watery; she looked like she was going to cry.
"Sorry, but I jus' can't let yeh… unicorns're delicate n' rare things…"
Mary Sue gave a gentle little sniff.
You could see Hagrid's heart melt. One second, he was firm and unwilling, and the next, he was showing Mary Sue the way inside. Teary heroines have that effect on the large, blustery masculine type; it helps if they have a large variety of superpowers and psychic abilities to change minds to go along with it.
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The class was staring bemusedly at Hagrid's hut. Nobody could see what was going on inside, but if everyone was quiet, they could hear a few snippets of conversation. They went like this:
"Oh, you poor little dear! What a horrible leg wound! Aww, I'll just fix it right up…"
(Loving bray)
"Heh, he seems t'ave taken a likin' to yeh, Moon."
"Oh, you really think so?"
"Yah, lookit the way he's fondlin' up against yeh…"
"Well, I'd better get to business!"
"Wait, wha?"
(Loving bray)
(big flash of blue light)
(Exited bray)
"What the fuck jus' happened here!"
(happy neigh)
"I just used my great and skilled multitude of supernatural abilities to heal the leg wound, get rid of his flea problem, and cure the little guy of his constipation problem! Yay!"
"Wha?"
"Ooh, stop that! You're a naughty little horsey!"
"He seems ta be getting' over exited…"
(horny neigh)
"Ooh, eek! No, don't do that, bad unicorn, bad!"
"Woah! Ah think that he's gone a lil' overboard… let's get yah outa here…"
"Eek! My heinously expensive and beautiful designer Armani skirt is ruined!"
(horny neigh)
…
Mary Sue stumbled out of Hagrid's hut to the stares of the other Ravenclaws and Gryffindors. She was covered in horse drool and her clothes were distinctly ruffled. This was quickly amended when she wandlessly preformed more magic to replace her entire outfit and redo her makeup and hair to something that Oprah Winfred would be proud to model. Hagrid strode out behind her, looking vaguely disturbed, but otherwise unaffected. It probably was due to his sturdy giant genes that he wasn't sexually aroused like any other person would be (exempting perhaps Filch, but who really cares about him anyways?).
"Well, tha' was unexpected," he said gruffly, and went to helping the class with their assignment. "Back ta work, everyone!"
"What happened in there?" a skinny Ravenclaw asked, sounding awed.
"Oh, nothing in particular," Mary Sue said breezily. "It happens a lot… many animals are strangely attracted to me for no apparent reason. Sometimes it can get a teensy bit annoying… but I don't really mind because I love everyone, and I love the environment and I used my mystical powers to stop global warming last week!" Hermione gave a barely audible snort, and gave a brief, but meaningful look to Ron and Harry. She picked up a sooty rag and began rubbing off the bottom of one of the firecrab's feet vigorously.
"Hermione, you're hurting him!" Mary Sue said, sounding shocked.
"How do you know?" Hermione snapped, perhaps sounding rougher than she intended.
"Well, he told me!"
"What, can you speak to animals or something?"
"Actually I can," Mary Sue said, giving Hermione a Mona Lisa smile. "It's another one of my secret powers. Well, I guess it's not that secret anymore, but oh well… it's all among friends, right?"
Hermione just gave her an incredulous look. She had gotten so many surprises out of Mary Sue that this fact didn't seem so odd at all compared to some of the other things. It seemed almost…expected.
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"I really don't want to go to potions next," Harry groaned to Ron as they shouldered their bags and started walking to the castle with Hermione. "Especially not with the Slytherins and…her."
"Yes, well, you could have just failed your O.W.Ls and not have had to worry about it," the curly haired witch said tersely. "Or do you want to be an Auror after all?"
The gang had passed all of their O.W.Ls (except for Divination and Astronomy, which were of no use to them anyways), and had most of their classes together. This was good for Ron and Harry, because Hermione could continue to be an invaluable resource for their homework.
Snape was not in a better mood than he usually was; considering that he had just murdered Dumbledore in book 6 and the authoress of the fic he was currently residing in and that you are reading was totally butchering his personality and character for the sake of the plot, he didn't have much to be happy about.
"Sit down!" he barked, when class started. Harry, looking around, noticed that many people had dropped out of the class. Draco was one of the few Slytherins; Harry wasn't sure if Draco was still being the bastard that he had been for the past few years. He had seemed less evil on the train ride, but old grudges run deep, and Harry wasn't about to forgive him yet.
"I'm disappointed to see that the O.W.Ls weren't enough to filter all of the filth out of this course," the irate Potions master snapped, his eyes flickering over Harry and Ron. "I am going to be much less lenient about your work ("Not that he isn't already," Ron muttered) and grade you extremely harshly! Making the potions in this class will be much harder work than many of you have ever even conceived the thought of doing, and I expect many of you to fail!" Once again, his eyes flickered over Harry. Mary Sue noticed this and gave Snape an indignant look. "Is he always this rude to Harry?" she whispered to Hermione, who was sitting two desks away from her. "You get used to it," Hermione muttered back, avidly concentrating on Snape's speech.
Their assignment was to brew a potion that would change the timbre of one's voice; it was much like the Polyjuice potion. It was one of the most complicated recipes Harry had ever seen. It even included some ingredients from Snape's own hordes, large black caterpillars that the Potions Master carefully and lovingly sliced up for the student's use, making sure that he only used up the absolute minimum the students needed.
Harry labored tediously; he often had to get up and walk to the chalkboard to better read the cramped instructions. After half an hour of meticulous dicing and stirring, his potion was a pistachio green color; not the dark olive of Hermione or Mary Sue's potions, but certainly not as bad as Ron's potion which was a kind of brick orange. All in all, he was proud of his fairly good result.
A dark shadow fell over his half sliced porcupine paws; Harry looked up and saw his least favorite teacher glaring down at him like a rabid coyote. "What is this absolute dung that you are doing, Potter?" Snape hissed (loudly, so the Slytherins could hear). "I told you to add seven ounces of blowfish eyes, not six!"
"But I…"
"No buts, Potter! This means deten…"
Snape never finished his sentence however, for Mary Sue stood up at that moment and said loudly, "Sir, please excuse me, but I think that you are being biased and unfair towards Harry."
There was a loud gasp of shock. Ron knocked his cauldron over with a dull thud; his potion spilled onto the floor, grew three legs, and ran behind a dark cabinet, never to be seen by human eyes again. Hermione, with incredible self-control, suppressed a small smirk, but even so her eyes glittered unnaturally bright. She could almost smell Mary Sue's blood on the floor.
Snape stared at Mary Sue for a long moment; the expression on his face was unreadable. Could he possibly be…amused?
"Excuse me?" he asked, his voice dangerously soft.
Mary Sue didn't back down. "I said, please stop picking on Harry! He hasn't done anything to offend you!"
The tension in the air could be cut with a knife; heck, it was so heavy that it could be scooped with a spoon. Snape and Mary Sue stared at each other. A clock ticked. Draco got up, went to the bathroom, and came back unnoticed.
"Fair enough," Snape said, shrugging. He then went back to his desk and continued to fail first year essays.
The class, so expectant of a huge, semi-bloody dramatic slashdown, was mildly stunned. "Wait…what?" a little voice from the back of the room piped.
"Nothing!" Snape yelled. "Go back to work!"
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"How did you manage to not get in trouble?" Ron asked Mary Sue, awestricken, as they packed up at the end of class. Many other sixth years, eager to hear the answer as well, inconspicuously paused and leaned in closer.
"Well, actually, the professor and I have a previous understanding," Mary Sue said cheerfully. "I'm actually Snape's long lost daughter!"
"Oh god," Harry said, slapping his forehead.
"Yes, it was quite surprising to find that my long lost father taught at the same school that I was transferring to!"
A skinny girl with mouse brown hair ran up to her. "I heard that you got let in because Dumbledore was your great uncle!"
Mary Sue paused. "Actually…"
"Obviously Dumbledore isn't related to her, she's Snape's daughter!" Malfoy said to the girl.
"Mind your own business! Don't pick on people, ferret!" Mary Sue said, flaring up.
"Wha? What did I do? Why…"
"Just shut up, Malfoy!"
With a bemused look, Malfoy turned around and went back to cleaning up his potion mess, not sure why this new character had such a huge grudge against him. He obviously hadn't researched any fanfiction lately and didn't realize that Mary Sues either hate the main nemesis or end up in a coupling with them, and this OC was in the former category.
"For your information," Mary Sue said, her temper cooling, "Dumbledore is my great-great uncle!"
"But how is that possible?" Hermione asked, contemptuous.
Mary Sue paused for a split second, her mouth slightly open. "Well… I'll tell you at lunch."
"Avoiding the plot hole," Ron muttered under his breath.
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"I really wish that I had more classes with you," Neville said sadly in the Great Hall. "So far, I only seem to have Herbology and Transfiguration with you guys…" Neville had, not unexpectedly, failed the Potions O.W.L., which was more of a relief to him than a hindrance. He, Harry, Luna, Ginny, Ron, Hermione, Dean, Seamus, and Mary Sue (who had once again magically secured a seat next to Harry; on the Boy Who Lived's other side was Ginny) were all sitting together discussing the events of the day. Many of them were casting awkward looks at Mary Sue, who seemed not to notice, and just cheerfully babbled on about unicorns. Harry had given a whispered account of the new revealed powers to Ginny and Luna while Mary Sue was getting into the more intense parts of her speech, oblivious to everything but the several Gryffindor boys ogling at her with badly concealed erections.
"That's strange…" Luna said dreamily while poking at the large mound of curried rice on her plate. "I kind of suspected that, though…she's probably taking large amounts of Bugblatter juice…"
"There's no such thing," Ginny whispered to Harry, who nodded slightly.
"Will you guys tell Dean, Seamus and Malfoy?" Harry asked, giving a worried look at Dean, who ever since becoming the newest chaser, had grown reckless and wilder than before.
"Sure," Ginny said, secretly happy to tell the boys something horrid about Mary Sue. "But do we have to tell Malfoy?"
"He should at least know…get a fair chance for survival and all…"
"I thought that he was a slimy git," Ginny cut in.
"True. Oh well."
"…And that's what happened at dinner, isn't that right Harry?" Mary Sue said, cutting into the whispered conversation, making Harry and Ginny jerk up guiltily, spilling pumpkin juice onto the table.
"Sure. Yeah," Harry said lamely, fumbling for words. Quickly looking for something to save himself with, he asked, "Hey, uh, weren't you going to, uh, tell us about Snape being your dad or something?"
"WHAT?" about three hundred outraged Gryffindors asked simultaneously.
"Oh yeah!" Mary Sue said, beaming. "Well, you see it's really complicated. So, I'm related to Snape because he and a famous actress had sex, and she got pregnant because they didn't use a condom, and then she gave birth to me."
"What about Dumbledore?" Ron asked, chewing on a bit of boiled egg.
"Well, you see, he was having sex with Snape while Snape was getting the actress pregnant, so I'm part his child too, but he's too old, so he's just a type of uncle."
"Oh shit, bad images," Ron moaned. Neville squeaked and ran from the table.
"Is that even possible?" Hermione asked incredulously.
"Oh yes," Mary Sue replied, a look of solemn honesty on her face. "I'm also Sirius Black's daughter as well. He joined in too. I was so sad when he died." To prove her point, she burst into noisy tears.
Harry felt an uncomfortable weight sink in the pit of his stomach. He could think of Sirius now in public with only a small twinge of grief and guilt, but how could this strange girl be related to him? Why hadn't Sirius ever told him about this? He felt more than just sad…as if this stranger that he just met were desecrating Sirius's name. There was something really strange about Mary Sue, besides her special powers.
"Hey," a tiny Ravenclaw first year yelled over from his table. "I thought that you were the rich orphan of wealthy Americans!"
"I am!" Mary Sue said, wondering why it was hard for everyone to believe all this.
"How can you have 5 parents?"
"Err…" Mary Sue suddenly started eating curried rice and sausages with vigor. "Isn't the food here really good?"
"Avoiding the plot hole," Ron muttered.
"You already said that," Hermione muttered back.
"Oh," Ron muttered in reply.
"Why are we muttering?" Hermione muttered.
"I dunno. If you say it a lot, muttering is a funny word…mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter…" Ron muttered.
"I think this has gone on long enough," Hermione muttered, just as lunch ended.
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To the relief of many weary students, and the jealousy of the underclassmen, the next period was a break for sixth and seventh years. Ron and Harry were going to go lie in the tempting grass by the lake in the late afternoon sunshine, but Hermione spied both of them before they could sneak off. "We're going to the library to STUDY for Charms. NOW," she growled, sounding so threatening that the boys lost any will to protest, and followed her meekly.
The library was dark, cool, and musty. Harry wandered down a couple rows of books to get away from Hermione, grabbed a large, interesting looking book on sex charms, and sat down in an armchair, looking around furtively. He normally wouldn't read something like that, but having nothing better to do with his time, his curiosity got the better of him. He covered the title with his hand, and read the first page.
A few minutes later, he prepared to close the book with a shocked look on his face. As he was about to get up, a high voice said suddenly, "Harry! What a coincidence!"
Spinning around guiltily, Harry saw Mary Sue standing to his side, holding a long piece of parchment and several ancient books. Lowering herself into a hard, wooden chair, she asked, "Mind if I sit here? The library can get so lonely sometimes!"
"Well, actually, I had to put this thing up, and then…" Harry said, awkwardly, covering part of the book with his cloak.
"Oh, okay! I'll wait here for you!" Mary Sue said, grinning at him with perfectly white teeth.
Harry slipped around a couple of rickety bookcases, and wandered around pretending like he was looking for a place to put his book. Wisely, he quietly stuck it in the Restricted Section, and picked out another tome on the medicinal power of frogs to replace it. He walked around, trying to look aimless, until he heard the voices of Ron and Hermione talking.
"Cripes, Ron, do you have to spell every single word wrong? It's spelled A...R...oh, just let me do that…"
"Woah, your hair is eating my face…"
"Well, brush it away then! I can't write and…hey! Don't touch there!"
"Sorry! You're wearing a wool sweater anyways."
Harry, not wanting to hear more, stepped into view and cleared his thought. Hermione and Ron looked up quickly, both turning slightly pink, for reasons which they weren't quite sure.
"Guys," Harry said, his voice low and urgent. "I've been cornered by…her. What am I supposed to do? If I don't go back, she'll get suspicious."
"You could invite her to come over here, so she won't be alone with you," Ron suggested.
Hermione shook her head. "There are only two chairs here, and Madame Pince will probably be upset if we levitate a couple more. I really don't want you to sit with her, but it looks like you don't have another choice. Besides, what can she do in Hogwarts?"
Harry gulped, and nodded. He slowly dragged his feet back to his chair. Mary Sue was reading one of her old books with a look of studious concentration on her face, and Harry was struck by how pretty she looked, with her black hair falling over her face. Maybe Ginny was wrong in her prediction. Maybe Mary Sue wasn't evil after all. If she would be on their side, she could be a powerful ally against dark magic…
Mary Sue sat straight, her robes, Harry reluctantly noticed, showing the graceful curves of her breasts. He felt hot, and realized how strange it was for him to think like this.
"You came back," she said simply, smiling.
"Yeah." He sat back down.
"You know Harry," she started awkwardly, "I wanted to talk more about Sirius."
Harry's stomach gave an uncomfortable lurch. "Oh?"
"You…you're really the only one that understands how I feel right now. Ever since he died…I've felt more like an orphan than ever before. He…he was like a friend to me. I really loved him," she said, her voice cracking but still sounding as musical as a harp. "I…I really miss him, Harry…" Big fat tears started leaking from her eyes.
Harry felt grief for Sirius well up again as he looked at Mary Sue. She looked so innocent sitting there and crying. Feeling awkward, he reached over and patted her on the shoulder.
"Oh Harry," she said, teardrops caught in her thick eyelashes, and for some reason, Harry felt a strong sense of déjà vu. This reminded him a lot of the time when Cho kissed him under the mistletoe…
Oh no. Mary Sue started leaning in, her red lips slightly parted. Harry sat there, feeling paralyzed. Run, his brain thought urgently, but he couldn't lift a finger. He could feel her breath on his nose. He could see every detail on her skin. He could smell the light scent of peaches, girls, and cinnamon wafting out from her.
Suddenly, there was a large clunk, and Mary Sue toppled off her chair unconscious. Standing behind her was Ginny holding a heavy leather book, a savage, triumphant look on her face. "What the hell do you think you were doing?" she hissed, sounding remarkably like her mother.
"I…well, she started it!"
"Snogging the enemy! You are sure lucky that I got here when I did! D'you know what could have happened? Don't ever do that again! Ever!"
"I'm really sorry Gin," Harry said. "I really didn't want to, she just randomly started leaning over! What was I supposed to do?"
"Humph," she snorted, but she looked slightly mollified as Harry stood up from his chair. Together, they left the library, and went to sit outside in the last rays of the golden evening sunshine.
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Woot! Another chapter! I'll do review replies some other time…I don't feel like it right now. Any ideas for the next chapter? Please review!
Loooooove,
Foxx