Chapter Three

Revelations

Elizabeth Cutler carefully inspects the small table set up in her quarters, checking the placement of the two plates on either side of the covered tureen she had borrowed from Chef. The glasses are perfectly placed, napkins, forks, knives… She shakes her head, wondering how neurotic she can become.

She had decided to tell Jim Cein about her pregnancy over dinner. However, since there are no cooking facilities in crew quarters, to say nothing of regulations about open fires, she had appealed to the Chef for something really special. He is aware enough of the interests and likes of the 'charges' under his care to suggest what he knows to be Jim's favorite meal.

She had called him by intercom minutes before, just after the end of Alpha shift, inviting him to her quarters but telling him nothing of the reason. She had already changed out of her uniform into a short pink dress she knows he likes, mostly because the cleavage leaves nothing at all to the imagination.

But when the annunciation signal sounds at the door she jumps slightly, realizing her nerves are still frayed. Taking a deep breath, steeling herself, she steps to the door and presses the button. She is still holding the breath as the door slides aside, and when she lets it out slowly it is to a long, drawn greeting. "Hiiiii."

Looking up into the uniformed man's eyes, seeing that his gaze is considerably below the level of her own eyes, she gives thanks that the dress has done its job.

"Would you like to come … in?" She whispers, the offering and suggestion as broad as can possibly be made.

"I'd love to." He tells her, stepping in and taking her in his arms. She molds her body to his as they kiss.

x

A few minutes later she has to come up for air, pushing him away slightly. She does not really want to, but it is this kind of 'greeting' that had led to her present problem.

"I have dinner for us."

"So I see." He says appreciatively, looking past her at the covered dish set between two burning white candles.

"I thought we'd eat 'in' tonight. I have something really special." The taller man regards her with a knowing smile. "What is it?"

"Well, Beth honey, it's just that when it comes to food, didn't you describe yourself as a 'practicing catastrophist'?"

She gives him a wry look, patting his chest. "Honey; Dating 101. When your girl tells you she has dinner for you; you smile, sit down and eat it."

He smiles. "Yes, ma'am." He sits down, removing the lid from the cover of the plate. He is delighted to see that it is his favorite. She takes a seat opposite him at the small table as he spoons out a generous helping.

x

"So, how was your day?" She asks, trying to overcome her nervousness in small talk.

"Pretty routine, actually. You know how it is in Security. When we're not dealing with Klingons, Tellarites, Andorians and the like, to say nothing of Suliban, we can go through a shift pretty much trying to avoid napping. How was yours?"

She takes a deep breath, preparatory to plunging in, knowing if she thought about it she would be too nervous to answer.

"Oh, it was interesting. I had breakfast with Hoshi of course, as we usually do – Tia was already gone. Then I went to Sick Bay to see Phlox, found out I'm pregnant, got relieved of duty, came back here with Hoshi and had a nervous breakdown and a crying jag like you wouldn't believe! We talked for a long time, but then after she left I couldn't sit still any longer so I went down to the Lab, got myself restored and then did some specimen follow-up work on the spore samples from Alpha Kirini VI. There were some mitosis shifts to be analyzed. It's unusual to see such variations at that stage of development; usually it happens in later stages of the life cycle. They are actually similar to the spores we found on Berengaria VII…" She trails off, seeing the way he is staring at her, a full fork stopped an inch from his lips.

"Can you say that again?"

"I doubt it. Which part?"

"Just the 'pregnant' part."

She swallows apprehensively, knowing this time she isn't doing to get through it as easily. It takes a long moment before she can say the words. "I'm pregnant."

"How?"

She shrugs. "Pretty much the usual way."

He puts down the fork, his appetite forgotten; searching for a question that could get him the kind of answer he is looking for, realizing he is as shaken as she seems to be. "No, I mean … when did it happen?"

"Near as I can figure, when you 'arrested' me." She can see in his eyes that he remembers the occasion quite vividly. She had come to his quarters to relieve his tension, and her own, during the investigation into the 'murder' of Fr. George Pineda. Clearly they had accomplished far more.

For a long moment he is silent. Then another longer moment. Then:

"Could you please say something?" Liz implores; her own nerves taut.

A longer moment still, then he shakes his head slowly.

"I doubt it."

x

After dinner, one she is not sure either of them really tastes, Jim can endure it no longer and urges that they go immediately to Sick Bay. Liz is not happy with the 'immediate' part, but realizes he is as shaken as she had been. Not willing to go in the revealing dress she wears, she resumes her uniform before they leave her quarters.

xxx

About half an hour later, in the Sick Bay, Liz has just come out of the Imaging Chamber, and they all look at a magnified spectral image on the monitor. At first, without the artificial color imparted by the computer, Jim would have had a hard time picking it out. Even magnified, it is only 5 millimeters long, and the rudiments of eyes and ears can barely be discerned, with the computer's help, on the opposite end from the tail. "That's it?"

"That's it. It's about 29 days old."

"Doesn't look anything like … well …"

Phlox smiles broadly. "Give it time, Ensign. Give it time."

"Little Michael." Liz says dreamily, her hands on her abdomen. She looks up, catching Jim's expression. "Or Michelle. I'm flexible."

"Michael's my father's name." He says proudly.

"I know. And Michelle's my mother's, so we're covered." They look at the image on the viewer.

"All right. Michael or Michelle it is." He looks at Phlox. "Doctor, can you…"

The Denobulan held up his hand. "Come back in a couple of weeks, if you decide you really want to know."

"Okay." Jim says, really wanting to sit down instead!

He stares at the computer enhanced image on the large monitor, trying his best to take everything in. The embryo is inside Beth Cutler. He had 'put' it there almost a month ago when they had come together seeking relief from a particularly stressful situation. That large image was the tiny thing inside her. He had put it there. It was growing inside her – and in months it would be a baby. A small baby. Then not so small. Then … It was inside her, they were joined together, the two of them, the three of them, because… It was inside her, growing. It was going to be his son. Their son. His son. Their…

"Jim, honey? Are you okay?" He hears her voice, as if from a great distance. He looks at her, seeing the concern in her eyes, but then he looks down at her stomach, slightly lower, and it is like he can see…

"Beth, I really have to sit down!" He breathes. With Phlox steadying him by one arm and Liz by the other, he makes it to a chair. But when he sits down, feeling a cool sheen of perspiration on his head, he reaches out and pulls Liz closer, leaning his head against her abdomen, her uniform drying his cool forehead. He leans against her as she puts her arms about him, holding him. It finally comes through to him that he is resting just inches from…

"This is all real, isn't it?"

"Yes, honey."

"Very real, Ensign." Phlox confirms expansively. Jim can see nothing but her uniform an inch from his eyes, but if he looked up past her he would see that image frozen on the monitor behind her. He puts one hand on her body, as close to where he can guess the embryo is. Faintly embarrassed and never for an instant ready to admit that he is not completely, entirely sure, he places his hand there.

"Hello, Michael." He whispers softly, finally starting to believe it. "Or Michelle."

Liz, her arms about him as she holds him close to her, hears his soft whisper and holds him closer, looking back behind her at the frozen image.

Only Phlox sees her brush aside a tear.

xx

A few minutes later they are ready to leave, but Liz hangs back, telling Jim she has some last few pre-natal questions for Phlox. He agrees to meet her later for the last of their aborted meal. She kisses him softly; then pushes the button controlling the door, letting him out. When she is alone, standing by the door, she turns back to Phlox. "Now Doctor, you and I both know those instruments can …"

"A couple of weeks, Ensign." Phlox 'insists'.

"Doc-tor."

He looks at her with an almost indulgent smile. "Michael."

She smiles, looking at the image still displayed on the Imaging Chamber's monitor, and puts a hand to her abdomen; looking from the image down to herself. "Michael."

x

"So, have you made your decision?" She stops, realizing what he is really asking her.

"What do you mean?" Though she has no doubt what is on his mind, she still feels she has to ask, if only to have the few seconds it would grant to her to think.

"When you left here, you were determined to abort the embryo. I was wondering if now you have changed your mind, as you appear to have. If you really are as certain as you seem, or only seem to be so."

"You know me too well."

"We've been friends a long time." He 'reminds' her.

"Well, Phlox…" She steps back into the room but does not approach him, running her fingers along several surfaces as she walks, skirting the room and drawing no nearer to him before admitting; "I don't know." She finally works up the courage to look him in the face, but his expression only makes things worse. "I Don't Know!" She cries; surprised at her own vehemence before she manages to tone down the frustrated emotions that threaten to run wild. "Hoshi won't even let me consider it, much less talk about it! But I need to talk! Jim wants the baby, or at least he seems to – now – but I don't know! I asked you all to keep this a secret until I'm ready to talk, but I want to talk about it, and I can't find anyone I can talk to!"

"I'm here." He offers.

"Someone human!" She stops herself, realizing how insulting it sounds. She is throwing back her friend's offer right into his face. She also remembers that this is a man she had come, in some way, to love; and that for some time she had held real hopes of a relationship.

That had not happened, but it was that love that had actually led to her unexpected relationship with Jim Cein the day the Security Officer had come to her door, responding to an emergency call when she had been expecting Phlox. But none of that had changed the real friendship she and the Denobulan had, and the depth to which it had grown even since the day she had found Jim Cein at her door.

And now she had thrown his offer to help back in his face. "I'm sorry!"

"Think nothing of it." But it is not the easy dismissal he would have it be when the hurt in his eyes tells his real feelings.

"But I do think of it. You're my friend, and I shouldn't have said that. It's just that this thing has me so crazy! I'm scared! I don't know which way to turn, and I'm taking it out on you! I am so sorry!"

"I'm not offended. I appreciate what you're going through. It's a shock that is going to change the course of the rest of your life, and the lives of others, and you have had less than ten hours to deal with it.

"But your idea is sound. You should talk with a human. What about Reverend McCabe?"

"What would she know? She's a Priest." Even to her ears, the protest sounds hollow. In fact, it sounds silly.

"Last time I noticed, she is a human woman who, among other things, is trained in psychology. And you know she has a viewpoint on having a relationship with a serving Officer of Starfleet." He said, reminding her of the woman's almost life-long attachment to Malcolm Reed. The pair had been engaged to be married before he'd joined Starfleet and she had entered the Seminary. "Even all that aside, she is new enough to be impartial; and I understand her profession often calls for strict confidentiality."

"You're right, of course." She shook her head, tapping it with her hand, feeling she should really rap it instead to get her brain working again but not wanting him to think she was completely nuts! "I should have thought of all this myself."

"If not for the extraordinary stresses you are under, I am sure you would have."

"Just shows how scrambled my brain is right now. I'll talk to her." She starts to leave, but instead steps up to him quickly, giving him a kiss on his cheek before he can pull away. "Thank you, Phlox!" She says, hurrying away.

He does not reprimand her for her unexpected touch, though she knows how Denobulans feel about such physical contact. In fact, now his smile is considerably more genuine.