It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
- The Invitation, Orion Mountain Dreamer
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of its characters.
………………………………………..
From Kagome to Inuyasha
The pain still lingered, rubbing on her already sore heart.
Another argument.
Another day.
Refusing to give in to the urge to cry, she clenched her teeth and strode off proudly, determined not to let him see the tears he so freely inspired.
Grass trampled, leaves torn from their homes ruthlessly as the lithe figure passed by.
Stupid Inuyasha, BAKA!
The tears which refused to fall then now flowed freely, streaming down her cheeks in torrent. Wiping them as fast as they would flow, Kagome made her way towards the only sanctuary which was available to her now.
The well.
Home.
A bittersweet feeling enveloped her as she caught sight of the old well. Every time they had a fight, she would end up storming off and going back home, to drown herself in the 'normal-ness' of her world.
No Inuyasha to call her bitch, no Inuyasha to hurt her sightless with his words. No Inuyasha to…
Kagome stopped at the well, looking down with tired eyes. She was always running away. And yet her heart compelled her to choose that path. Running away came naturally.
Sitting herself on the edge of the well, she took a deep breath, calming herself down. Looking down at her hands, she slowly traced the calluses and the scars on it. Like a map, she traced its journey.
She had spent a year in the feudal world. A year of living in terror, danger, heartache, tears and loneliness. Without her family, without her friends, without an ounce of knowledge of this strange new world. For a responsibility that had been wrenched and then laid bleeding into her hands.
The Shikon No Tama.
Kagome touched the crystals that hung around her neck in a vial. The warm feeling that gently nudged her cold fingers made her sigh again.
Yet…
Life was never this pessimistic.
She chose to be with Inuyasha, despite knowing that he still loved Kikyo.
He wasn't the only one who couldn't let go, she thought with a wry grin.
A year filled with bitter arguments, words that cut like the sharpest knives and a sea of endless longing and tears.
And for a moment, Kagome felt like throwing the fragile glass vial into the shadows of the forest.
Take that! I don't care! I'm going back home and I'm never coming back! I wish I never met you, Inuyasha!
And all the hurt he ever caused her, all those tears that flowed for him will be erased. She could live happily back in her world, indulging herself, hiding herself, losing herself…
The hand tightened on the glass vial with deadly strength but then relaxed and fell limply on her lap.
She couldn't…
No matter how much hurt he ever caused her, she still wanted this.
She wanted to be close to him. She still wanted to know that deep down inside, she mattered to him. She KNEW she mattered and that was enough for her.
"You are a cursed thing. I lived 15 years of my life with you inside me before evil decided to appear in my life. Yet, you are a curse that I would gladly take upon me again and again. You caused me great pain yet I never knew joy like this before. You gave me terror but you left me with appreciation. You bathed me in tears yet you gave me another sea of warmth and love. You gave me a family to call my own; people who I cannot bear to see die. A mother, a child, a friend…You gave me the chance to experience all these emotions. I do not know whether I want to cast you in the deepest part of the sea or leave you be, living within me. Somewhere inside me, I will always curse you and hold you tight, least you should cast me back into the world I was born unto."
Another day, another argument, another resolve.
And with that thought, Kagome resisted the urge to look back as she jumped inside the well, letting it envelope her into the warm embrace of magic.