Katara was practicing her Water Bending. Belle came up behind her.
"Sentence length," Iroh told Sokka, who was making a list of their concrit with paper Iroh had pulled out of a plot hole. "Too choppy."
"Oh!" said Katara.
"Katara doesn't say 'oh' in that girly tone. Usually."
"I'm sorry," said Belle. "I frightened you."
"No duh," muttered Zuko.
"Flamer," Aang teased. "She states the obvious too often, Sokka," he added.
"That's alright," said Katara. "Because you are my friend, I am not frightened anymore," she said.
"Once again, the 'said' thing, and Katara sounds really phony. Also, it's pretty obvious that she's not scared anymore, now that she's seen who it is," Aang offered. Now that Katara was reading, he was getting very good at the concrit stuff.
"I am glad we are friends, Katara," said Belle. "I have never had any friends before," she said.
"Erm… how does she know that?" asked Zuko.
"Very good!" exclaimed Aang. "That technically wasn't a flame, right, Katara?"
"Right. It should probably be surrounded by other junk, not just have that, otherwise the Sue, who is slightly thick-witted, won't know what you're talking about. But good. Not a flame, Zuko."
"I'm a Fire Bender," the Prince pointed out. "I'm supposed to flame things!"
"Not in reviews," Katara retorted. "Continue, Aang."
"But you're reading!"
"Oh." Katara blushed. "Right."
Sokka, meanwhile, was praying that beutyinthemonlite19 would shape up quickly, so that he would be able to keep up with writing the list.
"I will be your friend, Belle," said Katara.
"They'd already established that they're friends," Aang pointed out. "No need to repeat it, they're just beating a dead horse."
"How do you spell 'established'?" asked Sokka.
"Doesn't matter," Zuko told him.
"Actually, it does," Katara answered, being the most experienced with Fanfiction. "In a review, a few spelling or grammar errors are okay, only natural. But excessive ones get tedious, especially if that's one of the things that you're criticizing. All reviews should definitely be legible, and it's only a courtesy to make them correct. Especially if you're concritting a potentially reluctant writer, who might jump at the chance to criticize you, or brand you as hypocritical."
"But a few are okay, right?" asked Sokka pleadingly.
"So long as it's phonetically correct," Katara informed him.
"E-S-T-A-B-L-I-S-H-E-D," Iroh said suddenly.
"What?"
"Established," he explained, waving a dictionary that he had gotten from a plot hole.
"How do you open plot holes like that?" asked Zuko curiously.
"Because I'm special," Iroh answered modestly.
"Why don't you write the list for a while?" suggested Sokka wearily.
As Iroh cheerfully accepted his new task, Katara returned to the story.
"I am glad, Katara," Belle said.
"She already said that she was glad!" complained Sokka.
"I am glad that you are glad," said Katara. "Because you are my friend, and you being happy makes me happy," she said.
"That's just plain stupid!" exclaimed Zuko.
"Now, now, Prince Zuko, flames help nothing," his uncle said absentmindedly. "It's the 'said' thing, and the choppy sentences," he mused.
"Also," Sokka pointed out. "You don't need to repeat who's saying it twice."
"Ohh, Aang, I think you might have some competition as a concritter," teased Katara.
"Not likely," the Avatar sniffed.
"Don't worry, Aang," Sokka told him. "Killing Mary-Sues isn't part of the Avatar's job. Don't feel guilty that I'm beating you."
"You're not beating me!"
"Let's keep score," Iroh suggested, whipping out a piece of paper from a plot hole. "From now on, every grammar or writing style suggestion you make will be worth one point, flames will be minus one, (Katara will choose what's a flame) and every plot suggestion will be worth two."
The others nodded their approval at this idea, and Iroh wrote their names down on a piece of paper.
"Alright, since Katara's reading, she can't honestly be expected to keep up with the suggestions," he muttered, "And since I'm keeping score, the same. So, Katara's out of Round 1, and I'm not competing. The rounds will change every time the reader does, and the reader is always out. Since it should rotate equally, we'll add up the wins at the end, and whoever has the most gets… erm… something. A surprise."
"Uhh… how about I just read the whole time," suggested Katara, who hated games like these.
"Okay!" Iroh agreed. "We'll abide by your decision for all of the things we disagree on!"
The others nodded with various degrees of happiness at this proposal.
"So instead of changing every reader," offered Iroh cheerfully, "We can change every chapter!"
"Well…" Katara began doubtfully. "This isn't a game, but as long as you don't let this distract you… I guess it's alright."
"Then start reading!" exclaimed Aang, Sokka, Zuko, and Iroh.
"Alright, alright, fine."
"Belle?" said Katara. "Are you a Water Bender?"
"That topic comes out of nowhere!" exclaimed Aang.
"Dialogue…." muttered Iroh. "Would that be writing style or plot, Katara?"
"Writing style," Katara told him. "It's gotta be hard to get two points, and the fact that it doesn't flow is the real problem.
Iroh marked the point and the suggestion, and Katara continued reading.
"No, Katara, although I wish I was," Belle said sadly. "It is a constant source of shame in my tragic life that I have no Bending abilities," she said.
"It's not exactly shameful not to be a Bender," Aang pointed out.
"Also, she can't remember her life, right?" Sokka added. "So how does she know?"
"I'm just surprised that she managed to use an adjective," Zuko drawled. "Excuse me while I go die from shock."
"Flame," Iroh scolded. "Minus one."
"It is alright, Belle," Katara said. "I am your friend anyway."
"Belle didn't say a single thing about Katara not being her friend because of that," Zuko complained, giving himself a sudden point. "And could Katara sound a little less realistic?"
"Is that second one a flame?" asked Iroh.
Katara hesitated. She really wasn't quite as experienced with Fanfiction as the others seemed to think. "Not technically," she said. "It suggests something, so it's really a normal review, just a rude one. You should try to be a bit more polite, Zuko," she added.
Zuko scowled, Iroh marked down the point, and Katara began reading.
"I am glad," Belle said.
"She needs to use contractions once and a while, talk a little less woodenly," Sokka offered.
Katara smiled and was about to say something, but Belle interrupted her. She wasn't being rude, she was too beautiful to be rude, but in fact, something terrible had happened.
"What is that noise?" she said.
"Technically, she's asking, not saying," Aang jumped in.
"And again with the said and the wooden tone," Sokka added.
"Already used," Katara informed him. "But put a check mark by it, Iroh," she added, "So that we know that it's a problem more than once."
"Plus, beauty has nothing to do with the ability to be rude," Zuko pointed out.
"Well, you should know," Sokka retorted, "You're certainly no beauty, but you take the prize for rudeness."
Zuko growled and was about to retort, but Iroh jumped in.
"If she only heard a noise, that isn't really something terrible, is it?" he offered.
"You're not playing," Aang pointed out.
"No, but I get to add suggestions if it doesn't seem like any of you are going to get it," Iroh said indignantly.
Katara looked in the bushes. "It is the Fire Benders!" she said.
"Wouldn't the Fire Benders have attacked them?" asked Katara herself.
"Man," Sokka complained, "Now everyone's playing!"
Score:
Zuko: 2
Aang: 2
Sokka: 2
Okay, so, now I've got a big question for all of you. WHO SHOULD WIN THEIR COMPETITION? Should it be Zuko? Aang? Or Sokka? What should happen? A lot of this story will be up to you guys, since I'm not good at making decisions. I've already got to decide whether I want to go to IHS (International High School) next year, so I don't want any more decisions rattling around in my head for a while.
Anyway, sorry I haven't updated this story as often as I usually do, but I've been busy with schoolwork and stuff, so I hope that you help me. Thanks to everyone who reviewed!